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69fb4a0 But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy. Kevin Hearne
ef96664 I had privately changed "This, too, shall pass" into "You, too, shall die," and it helped me avoid all sorts of conflict." Kevin Hearne
54ba5d2 It's odd how a dog roaming around is a health code violation but serving fried death on a stick isn't. Kevin Hearne
191b2a5 Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name." " Kevin Hearne
0fed18a Cowardly? Bleh. Tell you what: Let's debate the meaning of honor and see who lives longer. The Kevin Hearne
d6bef56 Manannan's door-cum-portal Kevin Hearne
1b2bf02 You, sir," I said, "have all the dignity of a badger with the clap. Shark shit has more fiber than you. I'm going to tie you nuts-first to a monkey's cage and make a mix tape of the resulting noise. Then I'm going to take a bag of marshmallows and a pair of granny panties and--" Kevin Hearne
f38bd7e You hear that? The nice blonde in her thirties is actually more than 140 years old. Kevin Hearne
837093c to steer from the passenger seat. I sniggered. "You have" Kevin Hearne
106a73e threat that I forgot how good it feels to be rooted. And to be rooted is not the same thing at all as being tied down. To be rooted is to say, here am I nourished and here will I grow, for I have found a place where every sunrise shows me how to be more than what I was yesterday, and I need not wander to feel the wonder of my blessing. And when you are rooted, defending that space ceases to be an obligation or a duty and becomes more of a d.. Kevin Hearne
edb5eb6 You said Americans assert their own opinions as if they were facts and dismiss inconvenient facts as mere opinions. Kevin Hearne
390725a Leif, you spooky bastard, how the hell are ya? Kevin Hearne
83617e8 now; it was not then. Satisfied that he had cowed me sufficiently, he mounted his chariot and snapped the reins, flying back into the dark clouds that had concealed his approach. From that day to this I have mourned the loss of my unnamed friend and cursed the name of Thor. He ripped from me the wonder of the ocean; he stole from all men the knowledge of a world they can never inherit. The Finns may no longer Kevin Hearne
1059c18 is better than running.> Kevin Hearne
c3ff481 one cannot sass me with impunity. Kevin Hearne
f173772 I don't get it. You guys look down on chimps for flinging their own poo but you think it's fine to fling other kinds of poo around? I mean, you get opposable thumbs and this is what you do with them?] funny monkeys oberon Kevin Hearne
9f896f0 I have never thought that winds howled so much as moaned. My imagination gives them reasons: They moan because they're weary of their never-ending journey around the globe and are haunted by what they've witnessed--species extinction and coral-reef death and miles of trash floating in the ocean and a strange collection of humans who keep saying the earth is doing just fine, in spite of clear evidence to the contrary. Kevin Hearne
89974a2 Law is all that separates us from barbarism and the howling within; it is a necessary leash on our darker natures. The same should be true of gods. As we are subject to law and order, they should be also. We hear in tales that their justice is administered by a supreme god, if at all. But it is never commensurate to the crime, while the punishments they deal out to mortals are often excessive and eternal. I think it is time a god received h.. Kevin Hearne
e396a56 Iron can be bent to your will, if your will is stronger than the iron. But Kevin Hearne
6b31bcf Silly cop, I don't need your help; I have a werewolf on retainer. werewolf Kevin Hearne
24f9d29 Saoirse," I" Kevin Hearne
1ca8a12 Hordes, not whores. He had both, though, now that you mention it. You have no idea. Kevin Hearne
0ed7a53 When Kevin Costner asks his dad at the end if he'd like to have a catch, I just completely lose my shit. Any guy who doesn't is either in mixed company when he sees it or was blessed with an unusually sensitive father. Kevin Hearne
9b25142 I do beg your pardon. Let's literally throw up, but figuratively throw down. Kevin Hearne
89f9a72 I am often reminded how a small fire underneath a vast sky can bind people together like nothing else. For all that we are social creatures, we are too often shoved into solitary confinement by circumstance. The color of our skin isn't like everyone else's, or our language is different, or our religion isn't the one that gets us invited to dinner by the neighbors. That last one has kept me alone for a long, long time. Kevin Hearne
86632fb A man's supposed to shit himself after he dies, son, not before. Try to remember that, lad, so that when your time comes, you won't make a right girly mess of it. Now fuck off and go play in the bog." Like" Kevin Hearne
0a05b22 Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father's instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a simple slogan: Die angry at maximum volume. (Dying silently is out of the question; Kevin Hearne
12f9493 Normally I laugh at such things, because there is nothing like a fart to lighten up a tense situation. Kevin Hearne
bdde276 That was opportunity knocking. Rising Kevin Hearne
7299929 If Jeff wished to pursue the matter he'd have to leave his beer, and I felt intuitively that he would never do that. Kevin Hearne
d24ef38 King Arthur's story was pulled almost entirely out of Geoffrey of Monmouth's ass. There were about six hundred fifty years separating the events themselves and the first written account of them that survived to the modern day. Plenty of time to screw everything up and fabricate large portions of it. What Kevin Hearne
4a27447 Turns out that when you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life policies. Charlatans with "god-proof" armor and extraplanar safe houses for rent. But, most notably, other gods, who want to first congratulate you on your achievement, second warn you not to try such shenanigans on them, and finally suggest that you try to slay one of their rivals-purely as a shenanigan, of cours.. Kevin Hearne
dae18d9 It's not like the Middle Ages, when you had the Church and the aristocracy keeping everything nice and stagnant. progress religion Kevin Hearne
044f0cb It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who Do Evil Shit in My Name." "Jesus. I mean, wow. That's the name of one of your files?" "One of my largest, unfortunately." Kevin Hearne
efac365 a misbegotten cockwaffle. Kevin Hearne
49d69aa Hakko Drazlip and the Tootle Froots. Kevin Hearne
bae3d02 it already sounds like they are giving me the equivalent of a Multipass. Kevin Hearne
2fe5f0b because feck a handsome chicken if I wasn't right about Fand. Kevin Hearne
beb3976 DENON IS AN ECUMENOPOLIS like Coruscant, Kevin Hearne
4f9e39f Luke Skywalker, hero of the Battle of Yavin, has cast his lot with the rebels, lending his formidable piloting skills to whatever missions his leaders assign him. But he is haunted by his all-too-brief lessons with Obi-Wan Kenobi and the growing certainty that mastery of the Force will be his path to victory over the Empire. Kevin Hearne
ba60869 I don't know what it is about Ackbar that tends to quash arguments. He has a kind of moist charisma, I guess, that no one wants to challenge. I know I don't want to dispute him, anyway. Kevin Hearne
ef7d0a9 It is best to know when to keep your salami in your pants and when to pull it out, however, and even my priests have had some difficulty with that issue. Kevin Hearne
eb4476d I dropped to my knees next to Nakari, eyes welling up already, and in a strange way I welcomed the blur to my vision and let the tears come; I'd never done so before because it had never seemed the proper time to mourn. Ben had been there when I discovered the burnt bodies of my aunt and uncle and I'd bottled everything up in shock, telling myself that the Empire was hunting us and we had to get to Alderaan. When Vader cut down Ben, there w.. Kevin Hearne
1abfab1 We saw Leif to the door and wished him farewell. Time to hit the hay for the last time in this old house, I told my hound as I closed the door on the vampire. All right, buddy. What'll it be? Kevin Hearne