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If you're listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday. I'd like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun--I'm afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened.
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humour
funny
giant-snake
ra
tsunamis
riordan
tornado
rebellious
riots
serpent
floods
earthquakes
survive
sun
snake
funny-and-random
sadie-kane
destruction
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Rick Riordan |
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Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.
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humour
funny
giant-snake
ra
tsunamis
riordan
tornado
rebellious
riots
serpent
floods
earthquakes
survive
sun
snake
funny-and-random
sadie-kane
destruction
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Rick Riordan |
b710750
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In the spring of her twenty-second year, Sumire fell in love for the first time in her life. An intense love, a veritable tornado sweeping across the plains--flattening everything in its path, tossing things up in the air, ripping them to shreds, crushing them to bits. The tornado's intensity doesn't abate for a second as it blasts across the ocean, laying waste to Angkor Wat, incinerating an Indian jungle, tigers and everything, transforming itself into a Persian desert sandstorm, burying an exotic fortress city under a sea of sand. In short, a love of truly monumental proportions. The person she fell in love with happened to be 17 years older than Sumire. And was married. And, I should add, was a woman. This is where it all began, and where it all ended. Almost.
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love
monumental
tornado
intensity
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Haruki Murakami |
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"Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt. Where did the camel come from, you ask? I may have mentioned Walt's collection of amulets. Two of them summoned disgusting camels. I'd met them before, so I was less than excited when a ton of dromedary flesh flew across my line of sight, plowed into the sphinx, and collapsed on top of it. The sphinx growled in outrage as it tried to free itself. The camel grunted and farted. "Hindenburg," I said. Only one camel could possibly fart that badly. "Walt, why in the world--?" "Sorry!" he yelled. "Wrong amulet!" The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn't much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawed at the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off; but Hindenburg just splayed his legs, made alarmed honking sounds, and let loose gas. I moved to Walt's side and tried to get my bearings."
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humour
funny
giant-snake
ra
tsunamis
riordan
tornado
rebellious
riots
serpent
floods
earthquakes
survive
sun
snake
funny-and-random
sadie-kane
destruction
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Rick Riordan |