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1e1d51d
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The case is caked with dirt and rattier looking than Karloff in The Mummy.
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Richard Kadrey |
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85f13be
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When she leaves I look from Daja to the Magistrate. "I think your pet monkey is getting tired. Why don't you throw it a banana and send it home?"
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Richard Kadrey |
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d50d65b
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So, this really is a crusade after all. And now I'm part of it. Hallelujah.
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Richard Kadrey |
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7c3529b
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It would be simpler than dealing with this sideshow.
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Richard Kadrey |
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4dd4315
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I know a killer when I see one and he's one cold Charlie Starkweather motherfucker.
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Richard Kadrey |
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760dc54
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The smaller Hellion was in sleeveless black robes. Every inch of visible skin was tattooed in sacred Hellion script, like he'd been mugged by the tiniest graffiti crew in the universe. Big Boy looked like the Hulk's runt cousin in rubber overalls. Dangling from his thick leather belt were enough vicious-looking tools to give Torquemada the vapors.
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Richard Kadrey |
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5b45456
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Hellions look sort of like the little demons in that Hieronymus Bosch painting The Garden of Earthly Delights. Some look pretty human. Some look like the green devils on old absinthe bottles. Some are like what monsters puke up after a long weekend of eating other monsters. Buer looks like a cuttlefish in a Hugo Boss suit and smells like a pet-store Dumpster.
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Richard Kadrey |
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85cfd53
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The angel makes a sharp turn and shoots back at me. I shout some Hellion hoodoo and it has about as much effect as reading cupcake recipes to a lobster.
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Richard Kadrey |
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23a3042
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I prefer Abomination. It fits better on a T-shirt. I'd comp you one, but we don't have any big enough for your ego.
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Richard Kadrey |
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fa7c49a
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Pale vines follow me as I walk, cooing and sighing, hoping I have oatmeal for brains and will get close enough that they can drag me off and eat me at their leisure. And at the center of all this treacherous merriment is a skeleton tree. It's sturdier than the others we've seen. Taller and thicker. Its branches are as big around as my leg.
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Richard Kadrey |
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2409b08
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Oh God. It's like you're smoking a pig's ass, and the pig isn't well.
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Richard Kadrey |
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d5d5d23
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You mean there are miserable, depressed assholes in Heaven, too?" "Of course." "A lot?" "Enough." "And they piss everyone off?" "They sure do." "Good." She bumps her shoulder into mine. "It's nice to see you."
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Richard Kadrey |
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39e953c
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I don't seem to be alone anymore." "Very well," says Vehuel. "We'd like--" "Shh," he says, holding up a hand. "I'm trying to count." "Of course," Vehuel says in a tone that makes it pretty obvious she's not used to getting shushed."
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Richard Kadrey |
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607eb76
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Instead they're crying like a school bus full of little French girls whose ice cream all melted.
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Richard Kadrey |
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1f0d014
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Mimir sucks in the smoke and suddenly I want another Malediction. Her eyes roll back in her head. She begins to shake. She mumbles something unintelligible, like she's chanting or speaking in tongues. It's your basic oracle carny act. I've seen a million of them. They always look like they're about to have an aneurysm. If they didn't, the rubes wouldn't think they were getting their money's worth.
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Richard Kadrey |
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745c1a2
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I'm Satan. I can deal with that and play "Smoke on the Water" while getting a lap dance on a runaway train all at the same time."
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Richard Kadrey |
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4bae813
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This fire is a big deal. A huge deal. A giant, flaming, goddamn, piece-of-shit, agonizing, I-want-to-rip-my-own-head-off deal.
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Richard Kadrey |
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7f1c781
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I'm sweating like a hog tap-dancing in a sauna.
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Richard Kadrey |
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3642f26
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My ass and back ache like someone gave me a baseball-bat massage.
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Richard Kadrey |
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e17b9a8
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Next you'll tell me that Mickey Mouse is just a guy in a costume.
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Richard Kadrey |
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f1b06db
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The Magistrate says, "I am a student of human nature, did you know that, Mr. Pitts?" "It beats beekeeping, I guess." He smiles infinitesimally."
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Richard Kadrey |
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54d057a
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This is my domain. What exists here without knowledge exists here in defiance." "That doesn't even make sense." "He's calling them liars," says Daja. I look at her. "Again I ask: What does any of this have to do with me?"
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Richard Kadrey |
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a1a9f0c
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The Magistrate says something to him and stands at the edge of the flatbed, a preacher addressing his flock. Charlie Manson laying out the plans for Helter Skelter.
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Richard Kadrey |
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16fff99
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Traven walks away as a stream of havoc members come by to pat me on the back, punch my arm, and shake my hand. I smile and nod like it's the Oscars and I just won Best Supporting Asshole.
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Richard Kadrey |
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8c0f283
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Short of flamethrowers, nukes, or a bunch of trained Drifter killers, the best strategy is nature's simplest: run like you're a zebra at a waterhole and a pride of lions just showed up with ketchup and silverware.
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Richard Kadrey |
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c1fe668
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Traven stares at Cherry grinding away on my crotch. He looks like the most puzzled holy man since Jesus saw Judas order fajitas at the Last Supper.
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Richard Kadrey |
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3892855
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Thanks, but sometimes I think my sins are the only thing holding me together
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Richard Kadrey |
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237d2ec
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There's dead and there's Hollywood dead, and those are two very different things. Dead is just dead. In the ground. Pennies on your eyes. A cold slab of meat with no slaw and definitely no dessert.
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Richard Kadrey |
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b4cfa2e
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You sent one of your own people to get his ass kicked? That's not the way to build brand loyalty.
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Richard Kadrey |
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fdec3cc
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I'm always careful. It's whiskey that isn't careful.
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Richard Kadrey |
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b94aa7e
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LOS ANGELES IS a busted jukebox in a forgotten bar at the ass end of the high desert. The city only exists between the pops, skips, and scratches of the old 45s.
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Richard Kadrey |
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e83c0d4
|
How will you do it?" says Sinclair. "I'll know when I see the setup, but I imagine I'll basically just kill them all and take their stuff. Is that okay with everyone?" Sandoval says, "It's fine with me." "Me too," says Sinclair. Howard just grunts."
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Richard Kadrey |
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f455a4f
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God's nature has always been multifold, and never more than now. He dances with a dove in one hand and an ax in the other.
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Richard Kadrey |
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1dc61a2
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ONCE UPON A time I was a regular jackass living a regular jackass life.
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Richard Kadrey |
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50501cd
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No. You open it." "You think I put a bomb in there? Maybe snakes? Maybe a snake bomb?"
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Richard Kadrey |
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57302c4
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Sandoval screws up her lips in a sour expression like she just licked the bottom of a bus station chair.
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Richard Kadrey |
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d44c825
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I've been me for so long, what am I going to be if that's gone?
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Richard Kadrey |
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8feaefd
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That's it, fuckers. I've saved your dumb asses more than once. Let me choke you a little as I vanish into the sky.
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Richard Kadrey |
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75ef596
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It means the faction found us." He looks around again. "How?" "How the fuck do I know? Spy satellites? Facial recognition pigeons on the freeway signs? Ballerinas with Uzis? What does it matter? Just hit the fucking accelerator."
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Richard Kadrey |
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70f61f4
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don't tell me who to kill and when. It unsettles my tranquil disposition.
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Richard Kadrey |
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d7dc4da
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Are we in danger?" he says. "It depends on what you mean by 'we.'" "Am I in danger?" "That's the first smart thing anyone's said to me today. And, yes, you really are. So do what I tell you."
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Richard Kadrey |
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eef1529
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Cops are generally color-blind when it comes to brown cars, and this Subaru is too boring for even a soccer mom. It looks like it was made for people into competitive tire filling.
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Richard Kadrey |
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b7d46d8
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I wonder if this is one of those things they call a "teachable moment." What it's supposed to teach me, I have no idea."
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Richard Kadrey |
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de4dedf
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Anyway, there's nothing at all humiliating about clutching ten pounds of ice like your firstborn while the damn bag leaks all over your crotch so it looks like you pissed yourself with joy. I crack open another beer to celebrate fatherhood and keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for Candy.
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Richard Kadrey |