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fe898d9
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And if I do live, I don't know if my body is ever going to be right again. I mean, even if I figure out what Ludovico's Ellicit is and get cured, I might look like Freddy Krueger's foreskin forever.
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Richard Kadrey |
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a3d1420
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What do you want me to do?" says Kasabian. "I don't think Howard can get out of the bedroom, but if he does . . ." "I know. Punch him in the balls." "You got it."
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Richard Kadrey |
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9e80619
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I walk to a shadow and put the bills in my pocket. "Don't wait up." "I don't want you coming back drunk," says Sandoval. "Don't worry. I'll look pretty for class pictures tomorrow." --
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Richard Kadrey |
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f0583d9
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The necromancer is the Blue Fairy to my Pinocchio and I want to be a real boy again.
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Richard Kadrey |
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8bd32fb
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Up ahead, Donut Universe shines like the Virgin Mary doing barrel rolls over Lourdes, so I head over.
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Richard Kadrey |
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a475b82
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The smell that hits me is almost overwhelming. Familiar and alien at the same time. Hellion food tastes like what a butcher shop throws in the trash and then a hobo sleeps on it for a couple of days.
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Richard Kadrey |
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fc664fa
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She smiles and says, "Welcome back," like she means it, and it kind of breaks my heart. She's nice. I forgot what that's like. I try to smile back at her, but I'm not sure I'm getting it right. I mean, my face does something. Whether it's a smile or not is up to her. The good news is that when she brings me my order she doesn't pepper-spray me. That's a beginning. I feel like a kid on his first date, proud he didn't spill whiskey on his gir..
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Richard Kadrey |
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d840516
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This is for you, Cherie." I can't help but smile when I see her. This is a taste of the old Bamboo House of Dolls. A clueless tourist slumming in a weirdo bar and he picks up a pretty young thing. Only his paramour is a Jade and if he does or says the wrong thing, she's going to bite him and drink his guts like a milkshake. I'm almost tempted to tell him, only then he starts singing that Barry Manilow song "Mandy," but substituting "Cherie"..
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Richard Kadrey |
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e00de3a
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They're a year closer and I'm on the street like a goddamn lost dog wondering if I'll ever find my way back home.
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Richard Kadrey |
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5ae33dc
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A feminine voice from my other side says, "Don't look at him. Look at me." I turn back around. She's tall. Long torso, legs, and arms. In her spare time she could be a fashion model or a basketball player. Smart. Tall is good for these situations. It lets the interrogator loom menacingly. She's wearing the same suit and balaclava as the guys who snatched me. That's okay. What isn't okay is the cattle prod she's holding. She takes her time c..
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Richard Kadrey |
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843a6b7
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When she shocks me this time, it's on the inside of my thigh, close enough to my balls to make them consider finding work elsewhere.
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Richard Kadrey |
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efdd113
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Is that supposed to impress me? You sound like every supervillain in every comic book ever written.
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Richard Kadrey |
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b5d9efb
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I sit on the end of the bed, trying to look as nonlethal as an extra from Night of the Living Dead can.
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Richard Kadrey |
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0dda617
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I say, "How do I look?" "Like a pail of manure dragged down a bumpy road and dumped into a river of puke," says a familiar voice from behind me."
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Richard Kadrey |
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d400a9a
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I say, "The Elmer Gantry act is very convincing, but why pretend you're Wormwood? That doesn't make any sense."
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Richard Kadrey |
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a3b1bc7
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Wells points at me like P. T. Barnum showing off the dog-faced boy to the masses.
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Richard Kadrey |
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4f5e981
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I hurt like I just climbed out of a cement mixer, and the shot that grazed my side burns like hell. But I don't have time to whine right now.
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Richard Kadrey |
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0b238d0
|
As I step out of the van, blood flows out the door in a mini-waterfall--think an elevator-in-The Shining level of blood. I look at myself in the van's side mirror. In my bloody suit, I look like the maitre d' at a Texas Chainsaw cookout.
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Richard Kadrey |
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6a19dab
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Then don't tell me who to kill and when. It unsettles my tranquil disposition.
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Richard Kadrey |
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ce0a2d7
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At least your absence wasn't eleven years like your last trip. How was your time in Le Merdier?" "Dusty. There was a judge down there. He spoke more languages and was crazier than you. If I live, I'll tell you all about it."
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Richard Kadrey |
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49b1e92
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He coughs wetly and wipes his mouth with a monogrammed hankie. When he's done I say, "What kind of event?" "Stupendous," says Sandoval. "Cataclysmic."
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Richard Kadrey |
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54929ba
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I whisper some hoodoo and put on the glamour I used last night. Again, Sinclair and the roaches are startled. To Sandoval's credit, she just looks me over like she's selecting which lobster in the tank to eat for dinner.
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Richard Kadrey |
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1f762d0
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Those pricks down the hall, flying high above it all on this hillside, they're the kind of people whose faces end up on money or a new library so that kids will have a new place to hang out while realizing that no one ever taught them how to read. Their wealth doesn't insulate them from the world. It creates it. Their bank statements read like Genesis. Let there be light and let a thousand investment banks bloom. They shit cancer, and when ..
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Richard Kadrey |
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1b5aafb
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The Bad Dad thing usually works. Hellions are big on pecking orders and I have to remind them regularly who's at the top. Now they need a pat on the head from Good Dad before things go all Hansel and Gretel and I end up in the oven.
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Richard Kadrey |