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7208769
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When you look into the abyss, it's not supposed to wave back.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8626515
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That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next.
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Terry Pratchett |
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36c0217
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And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b759318
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Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there's nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone.
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Terry Pratchett |
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7912757
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And what had he wanted? He'd never sat down to think about it. But mostly, he wanted yesterday to be different from today.
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Terry Pratchett |
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656c965
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Do you know how wizards like to be buried?" "Yes!" "Well, how?" Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs. "Reluctantly."
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humor
wizards
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Terry Pratchett |
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9caa28d
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Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?
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winning
losing
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Terry Pratchett |
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b9e225d
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Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?" "Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir."
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humour
siege-engines
trolls
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Terry Pratchett |
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3136c84
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It's not lying when you do it to officers!
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lying
superiors
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Terry Pratchett |
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1e50e8e
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Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.
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paranoia
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Terry Pratchett |
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4c05d63
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It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what they think is there.
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lies
reality
realism
despair
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Terry Pratchett |
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bd77957
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You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home.
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travel
journeys
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Terry Pratchett |
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5fdafbd
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They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2cb45cb
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It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
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terry-pratchett
humor
hogfather
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Terry Pratchett |
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821ba1f
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You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away.
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Terry Pratchett |
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1eb5b77
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the proliferation of luminous fungi or iridescent crystals in deep caves where the torchlessly improvident hero needs to see is one of the most obvious intrusions of narrative causality into the physical universe.
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narrative-causality
stories
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Terry Pratchett |
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17e9cb8
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Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side!
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sanity
humor
life
insanity
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Terry Pratchett |
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2fdb7e9
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You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.
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Terry Pratchett |
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6ede976
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He'd been an angel once. He hadn't meant to Fall. He'd just hung around with the wrong people.
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humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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916e3cc
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Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!
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truth
slogan
justice
revolution
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Terry Pratchett |
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4c82271
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Every step is a first step if it's a step in the right direction.
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Terry Pratchett |
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6e326ca
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When I am old I shall wear midnight.
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Terry Pratchett |
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23abf2b
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I believe in reincarnation," [Bjorn] said. I KNOW. "I tried to live a good life. Does that help?" THAT'S NOT UP TO ME. Death coughed. OF COURSE... SINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION... YOU'LL BE BJORN AGAIN."
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death
humor
puns
reincarnation
discworld
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Terry Pratchett |
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ba43f85
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WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN? The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said. Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.
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truth
squeak
knowledge
evil
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Terry Pratchett |
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0053c8e
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He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ wolves.
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Terry Pratchett |
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00f4554
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Seeing things a human shouldn't have to see makes us human.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5528c20
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The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well.
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thieves
thievery
stealing
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Terry Pratchett |
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831add9
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After all, when you seek advice from someone it's certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b5dad37
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They didn't have to be funny -- they were jokes.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0cd8293
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Magic never dies. It merely fades away.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4652ab3
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Never cross a woman with a star on a stick, young lady. They've got a mean streak.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4406c84
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The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.
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teatime
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Terry Pratchett |
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0138415
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If he'd been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, "That's what I call sorted!" Since he wasn't a hero, he threw up."
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Terry Pratchett |
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ec0c2e9
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Esme Weatherwax hadn't done nice. She'd done what was .
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granny-weatherwax
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Terry Pratchett |
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dfde1c2
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Got to be worth a try, I suppose," said Crowley. "It's not as if I haven't got lots of other work to do, God knows." His forehead creased for a moment, and then he slapped the steering wheel triumphantly. "Ducks!" he shouted. "What?" "That's what water slides off!" Aziraphale took a deep breath. "Just drive the car, please," he said wearily."
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Terry Pratchett |
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9f66f4c
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Books bend space and time. One reason the owners of those aforesaid little rambling, poky secondhand bookshops always seem slightly unearthly is that many of them really are, having strayed into this world after taking a wrong turning in their own bookshops in worlds where it is considered commendable business practice to wear carpet slippers all the time and open your shop only when you feel like it.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a2a5ab5
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And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.
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nature
morality
supreme-being
moral
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Terry Pratchett |
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cb73473
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It is a well-known established fact throughout the many-dimensional worlds of the multiverse that most really great discoveries are owed to one brief moment of inspiration. There's a lot of spadework first, of course, but what clinches the whole thing is the sight of, say, a falling apple or a boiling kettle or the water slipping over the edge of the bath. Something goes click inside the observer's head and then everything falls into place...
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Terry Pratchett |
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66f517e
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In an instant he became aware that the tourist was about to try his own peculiar brand of linguistics, which meant that he would speak loudly and slowly in his own language.
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Terry Pratchett |
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66ddf6f
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Even in a dream, even at a posh ball, the Nac Mac Feegle knew how to behave. You charged in madly, and you screamed... politely. pommes frites
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Terry Pratchett |
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7a79069
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Archbishop James Usher (1580-1656) published in 1654, which suggested that the Heaven and the Earth were created in 4004 B.C. One of his aides took the calculation further, and was able to announce triumphantly that the Earth was created on Sunday the 21st of October, 4004 B.C., at exactly 9:00 A.M., because God liked to get work done early in the morning while he was feeling fresh. This too was incorrect. By almost a quarter of an hour. ..
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humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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0013b39
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but what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed?
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Terry Pratchett |
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add242e
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Life is a trick, and you get one chance to learn it.
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Terry Pratchett |
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3518360
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Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. "There's your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like "Oh oh oh, I am dyin', oh I am dyin', oh oh oh, that's what I'm doin'", and there's your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes "Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of ..
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Terry Pratchett |