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3616e4e
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If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.
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humor
puns
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Terry Pratchett |
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08eaf49
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While evidence says that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, they're probably all on first steps.
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Terry Pratchett |
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9231bdd
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I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.' 'That's just fantasy,' said Twoflower. 'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again.
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humour
fantasy
life
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Terry Pratchett |
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06d61eb
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Furnishing was not a priority in the Citadel. Shelves, stools, tables... There was a rumor among the novices that priests towards the top of the hierarchy had golden furniture, but there was no sign of it here. The room was as severe as anything in the novices' quarters although it had, perhaps, a more opulent severity; it wasn't the forced bareness of poverty, but the starkness of intent.
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poverty
humor
opulent
furniture
stark
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Terry Pratchett |
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4938e24
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Science is not interested in what stands to reason.
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Terry Pratchett |
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aec9795
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No point in imagining anything," said Granny. "Things are bad enough as they are."
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Terry Pratchett |
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89ec00a
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The way to deal with an impossible task was to chop it down into a number of merely very difficult tasks, and break each one of them into a group of horribly hard tasks, and each of them into tricky jobs, and each of them...
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Terry Pratchett |
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d96da46
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logic is only a way of being ignorant by numbers.
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Terry Pratchett |
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df64206
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Humans! They lived in a world where the grass continued to be green and the sun rose every day and flowers regularly turned into fruit, and what impressed them? Weeping statues. And wine made out of water!
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nature
religion
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Terry Pratchett |
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2e50123
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What good's a god who gives you everything you want?
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Terry Pratchett |
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8a90747
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I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts," said Brutha. "That way, everyone's happy."
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Terry Pratchett |
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42dedd5
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true freedom is so terrible that only the mad or the divine can face it with open eyes.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4781bee
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Watering down the currency of expression, causing anything to mean whatever you want it to mean, until nothing is meant and nothing is precise.
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Terry Pratchett |
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ebe2447
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And a woman by herself is missing a man, while a man by himself is his own master. Trousers. That's the secret. Trousers and a pair of socks. I never dreamed it was like this. Put on trousers and the world changes. We walk different. We act different. I see these girls and I think: Idiot's Get yourself some trousers!
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women
polly
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Terry Pratchett |
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57a3bfc
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A man can learn all of an opponent's weaknesses on that board,' said Gilt. 'Really?' said Vetinari, raising his eyebrows. 'Should not he be trying to learn his own?
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self-analysis
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Terry Pratchett |
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e859a64
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rational thoughts made out of insane components.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f2b3cdf
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All across the multiverse there are backward tribes* who distrust mirrors and images because, they say, they steal a bit of a person's soul and there's only so much of a person to go around. And the people who wear more clothes say this is just superstition, despite the fact that other people who spend their lives appearing in images of one sort or another seem to develop a thin quality. It's put down to over-work and, tellingly, over-expos..
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Terry Pratchett |
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e67cae5
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He'd missed dogs. Dogs added something that even people didn't, and one of the dogs was sitting by his feet, here in the darkness and the gentle rain. It wasn't bothered much about the rain or what might be out there on the unseen sea, but Mau was a warm body moving about in a sleeping world and might at any moment do something that called for runnung around and barking. Occasionally it looked up at him adoringly and made a slobbery gulping..
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Terry Pratchett |
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1b9a477
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It is considered in the Sto Plains that only scoundrels know the second verse of their national anthem, since anyone spending time memorizing that would be up to no good purpose.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8338188
|
If you take the long view, the universe is just something small and round, like those water filled balls which produce a miniature snowstorm when you shake them. * Although, unless the ineffable plan is a lot more ineffable than it's given credit for, it does not have a giant plastic snowman at the bottom.
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Terry Pratchett |
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541e31f
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Your power is only rumour and lies, she thought. You bore your way into people when they are uncertain and weak and worried and frightened, and they think their enemy is other people when their enemy is, and always will be, you - the master of lies. Outside, you are fearsome; inside, you are nothing but weakness.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f298bb4
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He moved on, in the centre of a widening circle. He wasn't an enemy, he was a nemesis.
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Terry Pratchett |
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999ae5f
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He was up against a mind that regarded truth as a reference point but certainly not as a shackle.
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Terry Pratchett |
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7001075
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Do you need an excuse to have a war? I mean, who for? Can't you just say "You got lots of cash and land, but I've got a big sword, so divvy up right now, chop chop."
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Terry Pratchett |
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ddd84fe
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He calculated the number of bricks in the wall, first in twos and then in tens and finally in sixteens. The numbers formed up and marched past his brain in terrified obedience. Division and multiplication were discovered. Algebra was invented and provided an interesting diversion for a minute or two. And then he felt the fog of numbers drift away, and looked up and saw the sparkling, distant mountains of calculus.
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math
mathematics
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Terry Pratchett |
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86c3cc8
|
I'm just capable of entertaining the fantastic idea that, in certain circumstances, might actually be capable of thinking. It must be worth a go, since we've tried everything else.
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people
living
life-lessons
life-philosophy
thinking
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Terry Pratchett |
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a83f948
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The thing about late-night cookery was that it made sense at the time. It always had some logic behind it. It just wasn't the kind of logic you'd use around midday.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5702788
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Cuius testiculos habes, habeas cardia et cerebellum. When you have their full attention in your grip, their hearts and minds will follow.
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Terry Pratchett |
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cc54831
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But it's what I call "The Valley Filled with Clouds" technique. You're at the edge of the valley, and there is a church steeple, and there is a tree, and there is a rocky outcrop, but the rest of it is mist. But you know that because they exist, there must be ways of getting from one to the other that you cannot see. And so you start the journey. And when I write, I write a draft entirely for myself, just to walk the valley and find out wha..
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Terry Pratchett |
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a4fa6f9
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Once you get troops on the streets, it's only a matter of time before it goes bad. Some kid throws a stone, next minute there's houses on fire and people getting killed.
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Terry Pratchett |
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06a6e7c
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This man was so absent-mindedly clever that he could paint pictures that didn't just follow you around the room but went home with you and did the washing-up.
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Terry Pratchett |
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538055e
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Genua had once controlled the river mouth and taxed its traffic in a way that couldn't be called piracy because it was done by the city government, and therefore sound economics and perfectly all right
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politics
humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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d44d987
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Some people are confident because they are fools. Leonard had the look of someone who was confident because, so far, he'd never found reason not to be. He would step off a high building in the happy state of mind of someone who intended to deal with the problem of the ground when it presented itself.
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Terry Pratchett |
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51d3a7f
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They looked up. Someone with a face and apron that said 'barman' in seven hundred languages was standing over them, a wine jug in each hand. "No women in here," he went on. "Why not?" said Nobby. "No women asking questions, neither." "Why not?" "'cos it is written, that's why." "Where'm I supposed to go, then?" The barman shrugged. "Who knows where women go?" "Off you go, Beti," said the Patrician. "And ... listen for information!" Nobby gr..
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Terry Pratchett |
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22109fc
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The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
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competency
stealth
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Terry Pratchett |
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9a44529
|
It's bad enough barging into Guild property, but we'll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won't stop at sarcasm. He might use' - Colon swallowed - 'irony.
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vetinari
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Terry Pratchett |
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b0be384
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It is now known to science that there are many more dimensions than the classical four. Scientists say that these don't normally impinge on the world because the extra dimensions are very small and curve in on themselves, and that since reality is fractal most of it is tucked inside itself. This means either that the universe is more full of wonders than we can hope to understand or, more probably, that scientists make things up as they go ..
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Terry Pratchett |
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f3c728e
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Mission motto, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it." "I imagine he did," said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. "And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?" "Er..." Rincewind hesitated, but there really was no escape. "Er... roughly speaking, it means, 'We who are about to die don't want to', sir."
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humor
cowardice
parody
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Terry Pratchett |
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0ee43b6
|
Granny Weatherwax looked out at the multi-layered, silvery world. "Where am I?" INSIDE THE MIRROR. "Am I dead?" THE ANSWER TO THAT, said Death, IS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN NO AND YES. Esme turned, and a billion figures turned with her. "When can I get out?" WHEN YOU FIND THE ONE THAT'S REAL. "Is this a trick question?" NO. Granny looked down at herself. "This one," she said."
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Terry Pratchett |
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5c4e565
|
At the top of the cellar steps Broadman knelt down and fumbled in his tinderbox. It turned out to be damp. 'I'll kill that bloody cat,' he muttered, and groped for the spare box that was normally on the ledge by the door. It was missing. Broadman said a bad word. A lighted taper appeared in mid-air, right beside him. HERE, TAKE THIS. 'Thanks,' said Broadman. DON'T MENTION IT. Broadman went to throw the taper down the steps. His hand pa..
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Terry Pratchett |
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2605374
|
Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day.
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raising-steam
mornings
|
Terry Pratchett |
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e21debc
|
You can't be loony and rich. You've got to be eccentric if you're rich.
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terry-pratchett
|
Terry Pratchett |
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cf9c2f2
|
Once you gave a thing a name you gave it a life.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b7d01e6
|
All libraries, everywhere, are connected by the bookworm holes in space created by the strong space-time distortions found around any large collections of books. Only a very few librarians learn the secret, and there are inflexible rules about making use of the fact. Because it amounts to time travel, and time travel causes big problems.
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Terry Pratchett |