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DO NOT PUT ALL YOUR TRUST IN ROOT VEGETABLES. WHAT THINGS SEEM TO BE MAY NOT BE WHAT THEY ARE. -Death
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death
potato
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Terry Pratchett |
c4680fa
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Things were simpler then. And also very, very stupid.
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Terry Pratchett |
cae4e70
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Welcome to , Moist said to himself. It's hope, turned inside out.
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Terry Pratchett |
bf26fd9
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Old gods do new jobs.
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Terry Pratchett |
e078228
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Vimes' meeting with the Patrician ended as all such meetings did, with the guest going away in possession of an unfocused yet very nagging suspicion that he'd only just escaped with his life.
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Terry Pratchett |
04dd10d
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Captain Quirke looked around the Watch room with the air of one who was doing the scenery a favour by looking at it.
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Terry Pratchett |
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The truly smart, having discovered they are cleverer than the people around them, soon learn that the smartest thing of all for them to do is to prevent said people from ever finding this out.
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humor
pratchett
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Terry Pratchett |
d5a53cb
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Then she wondered, not for the first time, about the differences between wizards and witches. The main difference, she thought, was that wizards used books and staffs to create spells, spells about big stuff, and they were men. While witches - always women - dealt with everyday stuff. stuff too, she reminded herself firmly. What could be bigger than births and deaths? but why shouldn't this boy want to be a witch? She had chosen to be a..
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Terry Pratchett |
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Let him be whoever he thinks he is," she said. "That's all anybody could hope for in this world."
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Terry Pratchett |
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When a human doctor, after much bleeding and cupping, finds that a patient has died out of sheer desperation, he can always say, "Dear me, will of the gods, that will be thirty dollars please," and walk away a free man. This is because human beings are not, technically, worth anything. A good racehorse, on the other hand, may be worth twenty thousand dollars. A doctor who lets one hurry off too soon to that great paddock in the sky may well..
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Terry Pratchett |
dcb0e10
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Teatime put a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry," he said. "I'm on your side. A violent death is the last thing that'll happen to you."
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Terry Pratchett |
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Lots of things have never happened before. We're only born once.
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Terry Pratchett |
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Between every rational moment were a billion irrational ones.
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Terry Pratchett |
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Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice -- i.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasn't the world for it.
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humor
logic
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Terry Pratchett |
993ac69
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People who say things like 'may all your dreams come true' should try living in one for five minutes.
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Terry Pratchett |
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Lord Vetinari considered the sentence, and found it good. He liked 'tincture' particularly. Tincture. Tincture. It was a distinguished word, and pleasantly countered by the flatness of 'soup'. Yes. In which may well be found the croutons of teatime.
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humourous
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Terry Pratchett |
549cf00
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Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldn't trust it. Often you couldn't even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something else--coincidence, maybe, or providence. You barred the door against it, and it was standing behind you. Then just when you thought you had it nailed down it walked away with the hammer.
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humor
life
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Terry Pratchett |
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the world kept turning and the Turtle moved.
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Terry Pratchett |
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Fair?" said the Sea Queen. She moved forward. Om felt her all around him. "There's no such thing," she said. "Life's like a beach. And then you die."
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Terry Pratchett |
04a9e3f
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Some of the men and older boys were trained in firing the cannon, but since there wasn't any gun powder to spare for actually firing any more of the things, they made do with pushing wooden cartridges into the barrel and shouting, "Bang!" They got quite good at that, and were proud at the speed with which "Bang!" could be shouted. Daphne said she hoped the enemy would be trained to say "Aargh!"
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Terry Pratchett |
fd7703b
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It doesn't matter!' snapped the Metatron. 'The whole point of the creation of the Earth and Good and Evil--' 'I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people,' said Adam severely. 'Anyway, if you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive. If I was in charge, I'd try makin' people live a lot longer, like o..
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Terry Pratchett |
4e550b9
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And when in doubt, take all your clothes off,' said Caleb. 'What for?' 'Sign of a good berserk, taking all your clothes off. Frightens the hell out of the enemy. If anyone starts laughing, stab 'em one.
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Terry Pratchett |
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Ponder Stibbons was one of those unfortunate people cursed with the belief that if only he found out enough things about the universe it would all, somehow, make sense.
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Terry Pratchett |
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Sometimes, Tiffany thought, I am so with being young.
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youth
tiffany-aching
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Terry Pratchett |
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We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously.
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Terry Pratchett |
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A voice said: One. One. One, two. One, two. Then the footsteps went back into the distance. After a while, another voice said: One, two, three, four- And the universe came into being. It was wrong to call it a big bang. That would just be noise, and all that noise could create is more noise and a cosmos full of random particles. Matter exploded into being, apparently as chaos, but in fact as a chord. The ultimate power chord. Everything, al..
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music
chord
noise
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Terry Pratchett |
7babe07
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I'm just saying man is naturally a mythopoeic creature." "What's that mean?" said the Senior Wrangler. "Means we make things up as we go along," said the Dean, not looking up."
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Terry Pratchett |
4001615
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The Nac Mac Feegle (also called Pictsies, The Wee Free Men, The Little Men, and "Person or Persons Unknown, Believed to be Armed")"
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Terry Pratchett |
d1b633c
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There are those who believe knowledge is something that is acquired - a precious ore hacked, as it were, from the grey strata of ignorance. There are those who believe that knowledge can only be recalled, that there was some Golden Age in the distant past when everything was known and the stones fitted together so you could hardly put a knife between them, you know, and it's obvious they had flying machines, right, because of the way the ea..
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Terry Pratchett |
ca43b3f
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The light was misty and actinic, the sort of light to make Steven Spielberg reach for his copyright lawyer.
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Terry Pratchett |
2bb2d3e
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Oh, no," said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, pushing his chair back. "Not that. That's meddling with things you don't understand." "Well, we are wizards," said Ridcully. "We're supposed to meddle in things we don't understand. If we hung around waitin' till we understood things we'd never get anything done." --
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Terry Pratchett |
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people went looking to find themselves and what they found was somebody else.
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Terry Pratchett |
61c0bbd
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People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but expect dinner to turn up within the hour.
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vimes
salvation
revolution
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Terry Pratchett |
f1bf3da
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I let you sleep, Sam," said Lady Sybil. "You didn't get in this morning until after three." "Everyone's double-shifting, dear," said Sam, daring Carrot and Sally to even think about telling anyone they'd seen the boss wearing a blue shawl covered in ducks. "I've got to set a good example." "I'm sure you intend to, Sam, but you like a horrible warning," said Sybil."
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Terry Pratchett |
958a5e9
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You won't enjoy it," sighed Crowley. "It's been in the car for more than a fortnight." A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sped past Heathrow. Aziraphale's brow furrowed. "I don't recognize this," he said. "What is it?" "It's Tchaikovsky's 'Another One Bites the Dust'," said Crowley, closing his eyes as they went through Slough. To while away the time as they crossed the sleeping Chilterns, they also listened to Wil..
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music
queen
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Terry Pratchett |
3ce05a0
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Twoflower didn't just look at the world through rose-tinted spectacles, Rincewind knew--he looked at it through a rose-tinted brain, too, and heard it through rose-tinted ears.
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twoflower
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Terry Pratchett |
0f61539
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The gods help those who help themselves, and my word, didn't I help myself.
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Terry Pratchett |
9ae4c51
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The three thieves looked around. As their eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, they received a general impression of armourality, with strong overtones of helmetness.
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humourous
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Terry Pratchett |
a0f6cfd
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More than half the skill of writing lies in tricking the book out of your own head.
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Terry Pratchett |
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To his mild surprise, the men were still out in the yard. Someone had even hung up the swordsmanship targets, which would certainly be helpful if the watch-men were faced with an enemy who was armless and tied to a pole.
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Terry Pratchett |
3d4ebb7
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She is standing just behind you. Just behind your right shoulder." In the silence of the woods, Polly turned. "I can't see her," she said. "I am happy for you," said Wazzer, handing her the empty mug. "But I didn't see anything," said Polly. "No," said Wazzer. "But you turned around..."
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Terry Pratchett |
c6bba63
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It's a metaphor of human bloody existence, a dragon. And if that wasn't bad enough, it's also a bloody great hot flying thing.
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Terry Pratchett |
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I'm sure it's all journalism [...] It means it's true enough for now.
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journalism
news
newspapers
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Terry Pratchett |
17eb265
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The only hat worth wearing was the one you made for yourself, not one you bought, not one you were given. Your own hat, for your own head. Your own future, not someone else's.
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Terry Pratchett |