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b9d7243
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what people mean to do and what is done are two different things
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Terry Pratchett |
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949e987
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Our skills, you will find, could be our jailers.
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Terry Pratchett |
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1517d13
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Silence fell like a hammer made of feathers. It left holes in the shape of the sound of the sea.
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silence
hammer
holes
sea
nation
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Terry Pratchett |
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92d6b3c
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The worst part, the part, was that Lord de Worde was never wrong. It was not a position he understood in relation to his personal geography. People who took an opposing view were insane, or dangerous, or possibly even not really people. You couldn't have an argument with Lord de Worde. Not a proper argument. An argument, from , meant to debate and discuss and persuade by reason. What you could have with William's father was a flaming row..
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politics
discussion
argument
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Terry Pratchett |
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f17f214
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Sometimes scientists change their minds. New developments cause a rethink. If this bothers you, consider how much damage is being done to the world by people for whom new developments do not cause a rethink.
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Terry Pratchett |
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37efe95
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We were born vampires." "I thought you became -" "-- vampires by being bitten? Dear me, no. Oh, we can turn people into vampires, it's an easy technique, but what would be the point? When you eat... now what is it you eat? Oh yes, chocolate... you don't want to turn it into another Agnes Nitt, do you? Less chocolate to go around." He sighed. "Oh dear, superstition, superstition everywhere we turn."
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Terry Pratchett |
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935dd76
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He's a bit set in his ways." "Congealed, I should think."
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Terry Pratchett |
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7c1304a
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One of the things that makes folks even more jolly is knowing there're people who ain't.
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Terry Pratchett |
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10b8dbd
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Gentlemen, please," said the Patrician. He shook his head. "Let's have no fighting, please. This is, after all, a council of war."
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Terry Pratchett |
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cab40e7
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Lu-Tze had long considered that everything happens for a reason, except possibly football.
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Terry Pratchett |
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478b65c
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Dullness. Only humans could have invented it. What imaginations they had.
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imagination
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Terry Pratchett |
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ea39643
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Not long ago I was invited to a librarians' event by a lady who cheerfully told me, "We like to think of ourselves as 'information providers.'" I was appalled by this want of ambition; I made my excuses and didn't go. After all, if you have a choice, why not call yourselves "Shining Acolytes of the Sacred Flame of Literacy in a Dark and Encroaching Universe"? I admit this is hard to put on a button, so why not abbreviate it to "librarians"?..
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Terry Pratchett |
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1a33c59
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Dwarfs are very attached to gold. Any highwayman demanding 'Your money or your life' had better bring a folding chair and packed lunch and a book to read while the debate goes on.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2c10421
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It was, he felt, a persistent flaw in his wife's otherwise practical and sensible character that she believed, against all evidence, that he was a man of many talents. He he had hidden depths. There was nothing in them that he'd like to see float to the surface. They contained things that should be left to lie.
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the-beast
sam-vimes
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Terry Pratchett |
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78ad1a1
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Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto You. Kill or Be Killed. Either Shit or Get Out of the Kitchen. Survival of the Fittest. Make My Day.
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Terry Pratchett |
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7d3d3ff
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What will you do?" said Susan. "Lie," said Lu-Tze happily. "It's amazing how often that works."
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Terry Pratchett |
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e6eda0a
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They sometimes forgot what happened if you let a pawn get all the way up the board.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2c892f8
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That was how it worked. No magic at all. But that time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.
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Terry Pratchett |
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c543160
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He wanted to say: how could you be so nice and yet so dumb? The best thing you could do with the peasents was to leave them alone. Let them get on with it. When people who can read and write start fighting for those who can't, you just end up with another kind of stupidity. If you want to help them, build a big library or something somewhere and leave the door open.
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library
reading
writing
ricewind
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Terry Pratchett |
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f3f50c0
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Mort remembered the woodcut in his grandmother's almanack, between the page on planting times and the phases of the moon section, showing Dethe thee Great Levyller Comes To Alle Menne. He'd stared at it hundreds of times when learning his letters. It wouldn't have been half so impressive if it had been generally known that the flame-breathing horse the specter rode was called Binky.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b5743b0
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Newt had always suspected that people who regularly used the word "community" were using it in a very specific sense that excluded him and everyone he knew."
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Terry Pratchett |
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a51fd8e
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In a well-organized world he might have landed on a fire escape, but the fire escapes were unknown in Ankh-Morpork and the flames generally had to leave via the roof.
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humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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1d380b5
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Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.
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time
humor
parallel-universe
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Terry Pratchett |
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d9a2d34
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There were actual people in the world whose idea of heaven would be a chocolate cat.
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Terry Pratchett |
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e8d4839
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Listen, happy endings is fine if they turn out happy," said Granny, glaring at the sky. "But you can't make 'em for other people. Like the only way you could make a happy marriage is by cuttin' their heads off as soon as they say 'I do', yes? You can't make happiness..." Granny Weatherwax stared at the distant city. "All you can do," she said, "is make an ending."
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Terry Pratchett |
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a4d9a76
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So, instead, I give tips on how to be a professional boxer. A good diet is essential, of course, as is a daily regime of exercise. Pay attention to your footwork, it will often get you into trouble. Go down to the gym every day - every day of your life that finds you waking up capable of standing. Take every opportunity to watch a good professional fight. In fact watch as many bouts as you can, because you can even learn something from the ..
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Terry Pratchett |
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2f509e5
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Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end.
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Terry Pratchett |
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14261c6
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
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Terry Pratchett |
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bcf2303
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What's magic, eh? Just wavin' a stick an' sayin' a few wee magical words. An' what's so clever aboot that, eh? But lookin' at things, really lookin' at 'em, and then workin' 'em oout, now, that's a real skill.
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Terry Pratchett |
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fbe0eb9
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Everybody present laughed nervously, except Lord Vetinari, who just laughed.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5060585
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Mistress Weatherwax is the head witch, then, is she?' 'Oh no!' said Miss Level, looking shocked. 'Witches are all equal. We don't have things like head witches. That's quite against the spirit of witchcraft.' 'Oh, I see,' said Tiffany. 'Besides,' Miss Level added, 'Mistress Weatherwax would never allow that sort of thing.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a74f3eb
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To be frank, I find religion rather offensive.
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Terry Pratchett |
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fdeb837
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Possession of the box conferred a kind of power on the wielder--which was that anyone, confronted with the hypnotic glass eye, would submissively obey the most peremptory orders about stance and expression.
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humorous
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Terry Pratchett |
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32baec0
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Apply logic in places where it wasn't intended to exist.
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Terry Pratchett |
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efb0a07
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Silverfish: "He disappeared a few years ago." "Disappeared? How? said Cuddy. "We think," said Silverfish, leaning closer, "that he found a way of making himself invisible." "Really?" "Because," said Silverfish, nodding conspiratorially, "no-one has seen him."
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silverfish
invisible
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Terry Pratchett |
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baf90bc
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T]he princesses were beautiful as the day is long and so noble they, they could pee through a dozen mattresses-
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Terry Pratchett |
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adeb096
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The footprints go this way," said Cuddy, "and then they return. But the ones coming back aren't so deep as the ones going. You can see they're later ones because they're over the top of the other ones. So he was heavier than he was coming back, yes?" "Right," said Detritus. "So that means...?" "He lose weight?"
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Terry Pratchett |
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6aed555
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Can you swim?" said Victor. One of the cavern's rotting pillars crashed down behind them. From the pit itself came a terrible wailing. "Not very well," said Ginger. "Me neither," he said. The commotion behind them was getting worse. "Still," he said, taking her hand. "We could look on this as a great opportunity to improve really quickly."
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swimming
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Terry Pratchett |
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84ca2ef
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It was always cheaper to build a new 33-MegaLith circle than upgrade an old slow one.
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Terry Pratchett |
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49bf0bd
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The figure stopped to cough long and hard, making a noise like a wall being hit repeatedly with a bag of rocks. Moist saw that it had a beard of the short bristled type that suggested that its owner had been interrupted halfway through eating a hedgehog.
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Terry Pratchett |
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d849791
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Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f57895c
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Old terror crouched in the shadows. It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. It was the terror of impermanence, the knowledge that all this would pass away, that a beautiful voice or a wonderful figure was something whose arrival you couldn't control and whose departure you couldn't delay.
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time
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Terry Pratchett |
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41692fc
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The Tezuman Empire in the jungle valleys of central Klatch is known for it organic market gardens, its exquisite craftsmanship in obsidian, feathers and jade, and its mass human sacrifices in honor of Quezovercoatl, the Feathered Boa, god of mass human sacrifices.
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religion
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Terry Pratchett |
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e75f3b1
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There's always the dwarf bread.
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Terry Pratchett |