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1aef983
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When Mr. Aching had worked for the old Baron, they had, as men of the world, reached a sensible arrangement, which was that Mr. Aching would do whatever the Baron asked him to do. Provided the Baron asked Mr. Aching to do what Mr. Aching wanted to do and it needed to be done.
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Terry Pratchett |
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e20910b
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Man just went past with a cat on his head,
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Terry Pratchett |
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5e77f08
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The flip side of the coin of which Good and Evil are but one side.
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good
morality
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Terry Pratchett |
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9d9cff8
|
He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellised Elba.
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humour
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Terry Pratchett |
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9b5d182
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The rising sun managed to peek around the vast column of smoke that forever rose from Ankh-Morpork, City of Cities, illustrating almost up to the edge of space that smoke means progress or, at least, people setting fire to things.
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progress
discworl
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Terry Pratchett |
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ffa79e4
|
Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-contiuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
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Terry Pratchett |
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f68c997
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Koan ninety-seven: "Do unto otters as you would have them do unto you." Hmm. No real help there. Besides, he'd occasionally been unsure that he'd written that one down properly, although it certain had worked. He'd always left aquatic mammals well alone, and they had done the same to him."
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Terry Pratchett |
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5cc3e85
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Captain Roberts went to Heaven, which wasn't everything that he'd expected, and as the receding water gently marooned the wreck of the on the forest floor, only one soul was left alive. Or possibly two, if you like parrots.
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Terry Pratchett |
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50fc6b5
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Don't be ridiculous, man," said Ridcully, "there's no such thing as dwarf smuggling." "Yeah? Then what's that you've got there?" "I'm a giant," said Casanunda. "Giants are a lot bigger." "I've been ill."
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Terry Pratchett |
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5f89c34
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inn-sewer-ants-polly-sea.
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Terry Pratchett |
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019a4e9
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You don't have to chase around after creatures, Pismire had said. You watch them for long enough, and then you'll find the place to wait and they'll come to you. There's nearly always a better way of doing something.
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chasing-creatures
watch
wait
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Terry Pratchett |
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77db48e
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Their families cordially detested one another.
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Terry Pratchett |
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cc2b073
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It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees.
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life
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Terry Pratchett |
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80ea4cb
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Sitting in front of a keyboard and a screen is work. Thousands of offices operate on this very principle.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4098e35
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The salamander flared, etching the room with searing white light and dark shadows. Otto screamed. He fell to the floor, clutching at his throat. He sprang to his feet, goggle-eyed and gasping, and staggered, knock-kneed and wobbly-legged, the length of the room and back again. He sank down behind a desk , scattering paperwork with a wildly flailing hand. "Aarghaarghaaaargh..." There was a shocked silence. Otto stood up, adjusted his cravat..
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humourous
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Terry Pratchett |
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184dce9
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It was so loud and so deep, it wasn't really sound at all, just something that turned the air hard and then hit you with it.
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Terry Pratchett |
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005c10b
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Believe it. That was the way. Never stop believing. Fool the eye, fool the brain.
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Terry Pratchett |
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1533f61
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We thought the fireworks were marvelous," said Mort. "And I expect they'll soon be able to rebuild the outer wall."
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Terry Pratchett |
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dc20582
|
It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people."
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humourous
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Terry Pratchett |
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a7cc225
|
A philosopher might have deplored this lack of mental ambition, but only if he was about where his next meal was coming from. In fact Lancre's position and climate bred a hard-headed and straightforward people who often excelled in the world down below. it had supplied the planins with many of their greatest wizards and witches and, once again, the philospher might have marveled that such a four-square people could give the world so many ..
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Terry Pratchett |
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7a91343
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Truly, he thought, the way of enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0997663
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or there will be a reckoning!
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tiffany-aching
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Terry Pratchett |
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b848c10
|
They both savored the strange warm glow of being much more ignorant than ordinary people, who were ignorant of only ordinary things.
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Terry pratchett |
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209e5a3
|
Writing stays. It fastens words down. A man can speak his mind and some nasty wee scuggan will write it down and who knows what he'll do with those words? Ye might as weel nail a man's shadow tae the wall!
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Terry Pratchett |
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2de22d3
|
Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers!" She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: "Socks wi'oot feets?"
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Terry Pratchett |
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9011c88
|
He gave Gaspode a long, slow stare, which was like challenging a centipede to an arse-kicking contest.
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Terry Pratchett |
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31b8cea
|
It will certainly show what our ancestors would be thinking if they were alive today. People have often speculated about this. Would they approve of modern society, they ask, would they marvel at present-day achievements? And of course this misses a fundamental point. What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
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Terry Pratchett |
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d10e49e
|
They don't go in for the fancy or exotic, but stick to conventional food like flightless bird embryos, minced organs in intestine skins, slices of hog flesh and burnt ground grass seeds dipped in animal fats; or, as it is known in their patois, egg, sausage, bacon and a fried slice of toast.
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sausage
egg
toast
mort
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Terry Pratchett |
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63e834c
|
Anything could make Wentworth sticky. Washed and dried and left in the middle of a clean floor for five minutes, Wentworth would be sticky. It didn't seem to come from anywhere. He just got sticky.
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Terry Pratchett |
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6a4a411
|
Needless to say, they refused to submit to the Empire, conducting such a persistent guerrilla war that the Romans gave up hope of conquering Scotland, and the Wee Free Men remained both wee and free.
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Terry Pratchett |
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55f692a
|
Ponder and his fellow students watched Hex carefully. 'It can't just, you know, stop,' said Adrian 'Mad Drongo' Tumipseed. 'The ants are just standing still,' said Ponder. He sighed. 'All right, put the wretched thing back.' Adrian carefully replaced the small fluffy teddy bear above Hex's keyboard. Things immediately began to whirr. The ants started to trot again. The mouse squeaked. They'd tried this three times. Ponder looked again at th..
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Terry Pratchett |
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641e7e0
|
the Ankh-Morpork Trespassers' Society was originally the Explorers' Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places 'discovered' by the society's members already had people in them, who were already trying to sell snakes to the newcomers.
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humour
funny
explorers
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Terry Pratchett |
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1e1d9bb
|
Certain things have to happen before other things. Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board, and look all over the place for the dice.
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Terry Pratchett |
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60283f5
|
Don't get your knickers in a knot just yet, Tiff,' she said briskly. 'It won't solve anything an' will just make you walk odd.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f289e27
|
Then there was the puzzle of why the sun came out during the day, instead of at night when the light would come in useful.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f5c4250
|
She was, in fact, quite a pleasant looking girl, even if her bosom had clearly been intended for a girl two feet taller; but she was not Her. The Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage would have corrected this to "she was not she," which would have caused the Professor of Logic to spit out his drink."
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Terry Pratchett |
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7141a40
|
Admittedly he was listening to a Best of Queen tape, but no conclusions should be drawn from this because all tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.
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Terry Pratchett |
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961ecaf
|
I know about sureness,' said Didactylos. 'I remember, before I was blind, I went to Omnia once. And in your Citadel I saw a crowd stoning a man to death in a pit. Ever seen that?' 'It has to be done,' Brutha mumbled. 'So the soul can be shriven and-' 'Don't know about the soul. Never been that kind of philosopher,' said Didactylos. 'All I know is, it was a horrible sight.' 'The state of the body is not-' 'Oh, I'm not talking about the poor ..
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Terry Pratchett |
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c464a84
|
And his head is on fire with new things[...]he called himself the little blue hermit, scuttling across the sand in search of a new shell, but now he looks at the sky and knows that no shell will ever be big enough, ever.
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personal-identity
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Terry Pratchett |
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9f63b32
|
The last thing she wanted was to see her friend getting ideas in her head. There was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0cea3d8
|
The human mind was a deep and abiding mystery and the Librarian was glad he didn't have one anymore.
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Terry Pratchett |
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060966a
|
There were two ways of looking at the world, but only one when you are starving.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b2f80fc
|
I recall no arrangement, Mau, no bargain, covenant, agreement or promise. There is what happens, and what does not happen. There is no 'should
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life-lessons
|
Terry Pratchett |
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093ee83
|
These were dangerous thoughts, he knew. They were the kind that crept up on a Watchman when the chase was over and it was just you and him, facing one another in that breathless little pinch between the crime and the punishment. And maybe a Watchman had seen civilization with the skin ripped off one time too many and stopped acting like a Watchman and started acting like a normal human being and realized that the click of the crossbow or th..
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light
terry-pratchett
punishment
|
Terry Pratchett |