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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| aafdfde | According to Bishop, the author of The Big Sort, in 1976 less than 25% of Americans lived in places where the presidential election was a landslide. In other words, we lived next door to and attended school and worshiped with people who held different beliefs than ours. We were ideologically diverse. In contrast, in 2016, 80% of U.S. counties gave either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton a landslide victory. Most of us no longer even live nea.. | Brené Brown | ||
| 1000676 | Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. | Brené Brown | ||
| 3096e85 | It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful. --Brother David Steindl-Rast | Brené Brown | ||
| cfd067a | It's not an accidental entanglement; it's an intentional knot. Love belongs with belonging. | Brené Brown | ||
| d90427a | A wild heart is not something you can always see -- and yet it is our greatest spiritual possession. | Brené Brown | ||
| 7d8a51e | Quoting Viola Davis (who is sharing rules she lives by): '4. I will not be a mystery to my daughter. She will know me and I will share my stories with her--the stories of failure, shame, and accomplishment. She will know she's not alone in that wilderness. | belonging love motherhood wilderness | Brené Brown | |
| cd347da | Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it--it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or bury our story. | Brené Brown | ||
| d8ee8bc | Just because we're plugged in, doesn't mean we feel seen and heard. In fact, hyper-communication can mean we spend more time on Facebook than we do face-to-face with the people we care about. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a restaurant and seen two parents on their cell phones while their kids are busy texting or playing video games. What's the point of even sitting together? | Brené Brown | ||
| 969d575 | I've come to the conclusion that the way we engage with social media is like fire--you can use them to keep yourself warm and nourished, or you can burn down the barn. It all depends on your intentions, expectations, and reality-checking skills. | Brené Brown | ||
| 4d6729f | Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty. It wasn't always a choice; we were born curious. But over time, we learn that curiosity, like vulnerability, can lead to hurt. As a result, we turn to self-protecting--choosing certainty over curiosity, armor over vulnerability, and knowing over learning. | Brené Brown | ||
| 1a8a03c | No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging. | Brené Brown | ||
| 05c91cd | Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences. | Brené Brown | ||
| 1dcb48b | that imposter or phony feeling at work or school rarely has anything to do with our abilities, but has more to do with that fearful voice inside of us that scolds and asks, "Who do you think you are?" | Brené Brown | ||
| 7f4d56d | We've survived and are surviving events that have torn at our sense of safety with such force that we've experienced them as trauma even if we weren't directly involved. | Brené Brown | ||
| f58ba9e | It was divine intervention--the act of starting to turn on the lights to alleviate my discomfort made me think of my favorite quote about darkness and compassion from Pema Chodron, who writes: "Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared human.. | Brené Brown | ||
| 1c94307 | Grief seems to create losses within us that reach beyond our awareness--we feel as if we're missing something that was invisible and unknown to us while we had it, but is now painfully gone...Longing is not conscious wanting; it's an involuntary yearning for wholeness, for understanding, for meaning, for the opportunity to regain or even simply touch what we've lost. | loss wholeness yearning | Brené Brown | |
| b20198d | One of the greatest barriers to going back is related to empathy. If our goal is perfection rather than growth, it is unlikely that we are willing to go back, because it requires a level of self-empathy--the ability to look at our own actions with understanding and compassion; to understand our experiences in the context in which they happened and to do all this without judgment. | Brené Brown | ||
| d1d413b | Creativity, which is the expression of our originality, helps us stay mindful that what we bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared. | Brené Brown | ||
| ce5e425 | We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is. | Brené Brown | ||
| 0a8de15 | When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don't fit with who we think we're supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. | Brené Brown | ||
| d24cbdb | It's only in the last few years that I've learned that playing down the exciting stuff doesn't' take the pain away when it doesn't happen. It also creates a lot of isolation. Once you've diminished the importance of something, your friends are not likely to call and say, "I'm sorry that didn't work out. I know you were excited about it." Now when someone asks me about the potential opportunity that I'm excited about, I'm more likely to prac.. | brene-brown disappointment priorities vulnerability | Brené Brown | |
| 4dcf8fe | Living BIG (boundaries, integrity, and generosity). | Brené Brown | ||
| cf74e0e | Only when diverse perspectives are included, respected, and valued can we start to get a full picture of the world: | Brené Brown | ||
| a64872a | the only thing I know for sure after all of this research is that if you're going to dare greatly, you're going to get your ass kicked at some point. If you choose courage, you will absolutely know failure, disappointment, setback, even heartbreak. That's why we call it courage. That's why it's so rare. | Brené Brown | ||
| 657f22b | Serpentining" means trying to control a situation, backing out of it, pretending it's not happening, or maybe even pretending that you don't care. We use it to dodge conflict, discomfort, possible confrontation, the potential for shame or hurt, and/or criticism (self- or other-inflicted). Serpentining can lead to hiding out, pretending, avoidance, procrastination, rationalizing, blaming, and lying. I have a tendency to want to serpentine wh.. | options options-in-life | Brené Brown | |
| 038ae56 | Mindfulness: Taking a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. Mindfulness requires that we not "over-identify" with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negativity." | Brené Brown | ||
| 826359b | Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind | Brené Brown | ||
| 1760d2b | So often, when someone is in pain, we're afraid to say, "Yes, this hurts. Yes, this is a big deal. Yes, this sucks." We think our job is to make things better, so we minimize the pain." | Brené Brown | ||
| 13b127b | Read as much as you can. Write only when you feel the inner need to do so. And don't ever rush into print. | Nick Flynn | ||
| 82d51d0 | Trinity Park lies directly across from the library, Trinity Church rising like a midieval thought amidst the glass and steel towers. | boston description ethereal | Nick Flynn | |
| 6243b69 | What I was trying to say, maybe, is that I don't know what it is I'm capable of transforming into. | identity transforming | Nick Flynn | |
| 1e6a305 | Libby wasn't a big talker - Michelle and Debby seemed to hog all her words. She made pronouncements: I like ponies. I hate spaghetti. I hate you. Like her mother, she had no poker face. No poker mood. It was all right there. When she wasn't angry or sad, she just didn't say much. | quiet shy shyness speaking talking | Gillian Flynn | |
| 658560d | They're baffled by my singleness. A smart, pretty, nice girl like me, a girl with so many interests and enthusiasms, a cool job, a loving family. And let's say it: money. They knit their eyebrows and pretend to think of men they can set me up with, but we all know there's no one left, no one good left, and I know that they secretly think there's something wrong with me, something hidden away that makes me unsatisfiable, unsatisfying. The on.. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| 1882eef | But I know I'll never sleep again. I can't close my eyes when I'm next to her. It's like sleeping with a spider. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| 515d025 | I am absolutely, one hundred percent sincere right now- I have your back, and I won't fuck with you. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| 3728dc5 | I think, immediately, that there is something wrong with us, perhaps unfixable, if my husband wouldn't think to tell me this. Sometimes I feel it's his personal game, that he's in some sort of undeclared contest for impenetrability. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| 1d287ed | I worry for a second that she wants to set us up: I am not interested in being set up. I need to be ambushed, caught unawares, like some sort of feral love-jackal. I'm too self-conscious otherwise. I feel myself trying to be charming, and then I realize I'm obviously trying to be charming, and then I try to be even more charming to make up for the fake charm, and then I've basically turned into Liza Minelli: I'm dancing in tights and sequin.. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| b06d4bd | And it's so far beyond fine that you know you can never go back to fine. That fast. You think: Oh, here is the rest of my life. It's finally arrived. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| dcbaa76 | It was a gross, tasteless thing to say - my brain had been burping up such inappropriate thoughts at inopportune moments. Mental gas I couldn't control. Like, I'd started internally singing the lyrics to 'Bony Moronie' whenever I saw my cop friend. She's as skinny as a stick of macaroni, my brain would bebop as Detective Rhonda Boney was telling me about dragging the river for my missing wife. Defense mechanism, I told myself, just a weird .. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| bd246dd | A lot of people lacked that gift: knowing when to fuck off. People love talking, and I have never been a huge talker. I carry on an inner monologue, but the words often don't reach my lips. She looks nice today, I'd think, but somehow it wouldn't occur to me to say it out loud. My mom talked, my sister talked. I'd been raised to listen. So, sitting on the couch by myself, not talking, felt decadent. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| 2ad4c01 | Because isn't that the point of every relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood? He gets me. She gets me. Isn't that the simple magic phrase? So you suffer through the night with the perfect-on-paper man--the stutter of jokes misunderstood, the witty remarks lobbed and missed. Or maybe he understands that you've made a witty remark but, unsure of what to do with it, he holds it in his hand like some bit of conversational p.. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| 7f69026 | I have a mistress. Now is the part where I have to tell you I have a mistress and you stop liking me. If you liked me to begin with. I have a pretty, young, very young mistress, and her name is Andie. | Gillian Flynn | ||
| 86298d1 | What are you thinking, Amy? The question I've asked most often during our marriage, if not out loud, if not to the person who could answer. I suppose these questions stormcloud over every marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? Who are you? What have we done to each other? What will we do? | Gillian Flynn | ||
| d10747c | That's the way plants down here work: The Mexicans get the shittiest, most dangerous jobs, and the whites still complain. | Gillian Flynn |