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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| 56ac7be | I know nothing about you except that I want to move through the world with you for as long as you'll let me. | Warren Ellis | ||
| 61a6151 | That's what you should be worrying about. Idiots with all the money, plowing it into building a thing just because they can. | Warren Ellis | ||
| 70bb568 | Harold adds an important idea to that of Evans-Pritchard. "The state always seems to come down on the little guy," he notes. "Take this bayou. If your motorboat leaks a little gas into the water, the warden'll write you up. But if companies leak thousands of gallons of it and kill all the life here? The state lets them go. If you shoot an endangered brown pelican, they'll put you in jail. But if a company kills the brown pelican by poisonin.. | irony | Arlie Russell Hochschild | |
| aa7545d | Memory, Evans-Pritchard reasoned, was an indirect expression of power. The Arenos faced structural amnesia about something else and linked it to a different source of power: the Louisiana Chemical Association, the Society of the Plastics Industry, the Vinyl Institute, Shell Oil, PPG Industries, and their leaders in government. Spokesmen for this source of power drew the popular imagination to the exciting economic fugure. The Arenos felt th.. | Arlie Russell Hochschild | ||
| 6f5bd2f | Although I enjoyed and respected Kipling, Poe, Butler, Thackeray and Henley, I saved my young and loyal passion for Paul Lawrence Dunbar, Langston Hughes, James Weldon Johnson and W.E.B. Du Bois' "Litany at Atlanta." But it was Shakespeare who said, "When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes." It was a state with which I felt myself most familiar." | Maya Angelou | ||
| 81bc72a | Each small task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe. --SAINT TERESA OF LISIEUX | Barbara Coloroso | ||
| 3170cd0 | there are some fun games and fantasy games like Myst, one of the highest-selling games in the industry, which invite kids into a world that requires them to solve a mystery or accomplish a goal. There are many others that require little more than quick, aggressive, violent responses to a perceived threat. These games reward kids for their speed in reacting and for their quick reflexes. The reactive portions of their brains are strengthened... | Barbara Coloroso | ||
| f56bd60 | While researching bullying prevention programs for the first edition of this book, I was concerned that many of the programs developed for schools had as their foundation conflict resolution solutions. People who complete such well-intentioned bullying prevention programs become skilled at handling different kinds of conflict and learn effective anger management skills, but they still have no clue how to identify and effectively confront bu.. | Barbara Coloroso | ||
| 80b3239 | Do we really want to condemn as excessive the use of safety helmets, car seats, playgrounds designed so kids will be less likely to crack their skulls, childproof medicine bottles, and baby gates at the top of stairs? One writer criticizes "the inappropriateness of excessive concern in low-risk environments," but of course reasonable people disagree about what constitutes both "excessive" and "low risk." Even if, as this writer asserts, "a .. | spoiled-children | Alfie Kohn | |
| f2fd1f5 | From deep contentment comes the courage to achieve. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 15a01e9 | Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches; it's what the learner learns. And so it is in families. What matters is the message our kids receive, not the one we think we're sending. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 5b0a7f9 | S. Neill put it, promising a reward for an activity is "tantamount to declaring that the activity is not worth doing for its own sake."26 Thus, a parent who says to a child, "If you finish your math homework, you may watch an hour of TV" is teaching the child to think of math as something that isn't much fun." | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 50a8992 | the question is not whether more flies can be caught with honey than with vinegar, but why the flies are being caught in either case--and how this feels to the fly. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 6d76406 | We tell them how good they are and they light up, eager to please, and try to please us some more. These are the children we should really worry about. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 127f2fa | Many of us have watched people become uneasy, if not positively furious, when they believe some offense--including one committed by a child--has not been punished severely enough. Later in this book I will argue that a child's misbehavior is best construed as a "teachable moment," a problem to be solved together rather than an infraction that calls for a punitive response. I will try to show that this approach is not only more respectful an.. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| f42bdb9 | A willingness to question the way things are paradoxically affirms a vision of the way things ought to be. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 3aa6c32 | Contingent on what, though? Some bases for feeling good about oneself may be worse than others. Jennifer Crocker, a psychologist at Ohio State University, and her colleagues have shown that the prognosis is particularly bad when self-esteem hinges on outdoing others (competitive success), approval by others, physical appearance, or academic achievement.47 Consider the last of those. When children's self-esteem rises or falls with how well t.. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| b53566a | Unconditional parents want to know how to do something other than threaten and punish. They don't see their relationship with their children as adversarial, so their goal is to avoid battles, not win them. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| c78bf6a | Instead, you would probably hear, "No rewards and punishments?? Then how will we get our kids to do what they're told, follow the rules, and take their place in a society where certain things will be expected of them whether they like it or not?" Indeed, there is evidence that greater concern about social" | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 68cacb9 | It's been said that the personal is political, and there's no doubt that parenting is intensely personal. To argue against traditional ways of raising children, or to suggest that we can help children stand up for what they think is right, doesn't introduce politics into parenting. It's always been there. If we've failed to notice the political implications of child rearing, it may be because most advice on the subject has the effect of per.. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| e9676a3 | As Thomas Gordon pointed out, 'Parents who find unacceptable a great many things that their children do or say will inevitably foster in these children a deep feeling that they are unacceptable as persons.' That doesn't change just because the parents remember to say soothingly, 'We love you, honey; we just hate almost everything you do. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 1271c11 | After all, if we want a child to grow into a genuinely compassionate person, then it's not enough to know whether he just did something helpful. We'd want to know why. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 3e1f514 | We complain loudly about such things as the sagging productivity of our workplaces, the crisis of our schools, and the warped values of our children. But the very strategy we use to solve those problems--dangling rewards like incentive plans and grades and candy bars in front of people--is partly responsible for the fix we're in. We are a society of loyal Skinnerians, unable to think our way out of the box we have reinforced ourselves into. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 0efbb43 | The more pressing question, of course, is how we can communicate our love after kids keep acting up even when we think they ought to know better. (We've certainly told them enough times!) Here it's common to assume that they're "testing limits." This is a very popular phrase in the discipline field and it's often used as a justification for parents to impose more, or tighter, limits. Sometimes the assumption that kids are testing us even be.. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 6b22667 | A society in which no one is willing to risk being called a troublemaker is a place where power is certain to be abused. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| b08ea71 | Besides, what best prepares children to deal with the challenges of the "real world" is to experience success and joy. People don't get better at coping with unhappiness because they were deliberately made unhappy when they were young." | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 7bbaa7d | In the pages that follow, I want to invite readers who don't regard themselves as social conservatives to reexamine the traditionalist roots of attitudes about children they may have come to accept. And I want to invite all readers, regardless of their political and cultural views, to take a fresh look at common assumptions about kids and parenting. We've been encouraged to worry: Are we being firm enough with our children? Are we too invol.. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 9bb7e02 | So if pundits were throwing up their hands even during the Eisenhower era about schools on the decline and students who could barely read and write, the obvious question is this: When exactly was that golden period distinguished by high standards? The answer, of course, is that it never existed. "The story of declining school quality across the twentieth century is, for the most part, a fable," says social scientist Richard Rothstein, whose.. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| fd266d7 | Hence a report from Harvard's own "Committee on Raising the Standard": "Grades A and B are sometimes given too readily--Grade A for work of not very high merit, and Grade B for work not far above mediocrity. . . . One of the chief obstacles to raising the standards of the degree is the readiness with which insincere students gain passable grades by sham work." Except that report was written in--you saw this coming, didn't you?--1894." | Alfie Kohn | ||
| e5b4fd2 | Barbed banter was the coin of their realm and heartfelt admissions of affection were rejected out of hand as counterfeit. | Sharon Kay Penman | ||
| 3e1337f | I shall report this, and in the meantime the animal can be taken away by one of the porters.' 'Don't you dare,' said Emmy fiercely. 'I'll not allow it. You are--' It was unfortunate that she was interrupted before she could finish. 'Ah,' said Professor ter Mennolt, looming behind the supervisor. 'My kitten. Good of you to look after it for me, Ermentrude.' He gave the supervisor a bland smile. 'I am breaking the rules, am I not? But this .. | kittens stray-kittens | Betty Neels | |
| 469d080 | The storm broke then with a vivid flash of lightning and a great rumble of thunder which drowned every other sound. The Baron turned up the collar of his Burberry. 'You go down that side, I'll search this-- we'll find him, Becky. You're not afraid of the storm?' She was terrified, but her terror was quite wiped out by anxiety for Bertie. She shook her head and started off down the deserted street, peering through the pelting rain, searchin.. | storms animal-rescuers | Betty Neels | |
| 5fceca7 | Not too bad, but I went and had coffee afterwards and sat for a bit. I hate the dentist. | Betty Neels | ||
| a45e839 | Only the strong knew what suffering was. The weak never found themselves in the strong webs; the strong man was the one who found himself day and night bound and struggling, so that the work he did, the plotting and the owning and the buying, the decisions he made--and in a large family there had been many to make--were often hard-fibered. | suffering | John Ehle | |
| 0e43bcf | What was his place? he wondered. Where was his world? He had sometimes stood on the riverbank and told himself: Deep down in the cold water is your world; a rock lashed to your feet is your clothing for that world. To enter it you need only to climb to the place above the rapids, where the pool is, where it is always calm, so it must be deep, and there bury yourself and leave a world that is not your own and find a garden, long fields alrea.. | suicide terrors | John Ehle | |
| 38e8b8d | Excerpt from a message from one of the Cherokee chiefs - Onitositaii, commonly known as Old Tassle} ... 'If, therefore, a bare march, or reconnoitering a country is sufficient reason to ground a claim to it, we shall insist upon transposing the demand, and your relinquishing your settlements on the western waters and removing one hundred miles back towards the east, whither some of our warriors advanced against you in the course of last yea.. | John Ehle | ||
| 1b671ee | How, then, did Virginia gentlemen persuade the voters to return the right kind of people to the House of Burgesses? How could patricians win in populist politics? The question can lead us again to the paradox which has underlain our story, the union of freedom and slavery in Virginia and America. | Edmund S. Morgan | ||
| 9a49ce8 | These numbers gave Virginia's population about six times as large a proportion of gentlemen as England had. Gentlemen, by definition, had no manual skill, nor could they be expected to work at ordinary labor. | Edmund S. Morgan | ||
| 25c31f3 | There is no denying that Francis Drake was a pirate and that the enterprise he conducted four years later in Panama was highway robbery, or at best, highjacking. But it was on the scale that transforms crime into politics. | Edmund S. Morgan | ||
| 56b603c | the great and fundamental principles of their policy are, that every man is naturally free and independent, that no one ... on earth has any right to deprive him of his freedom and independency, and that nothing can be a compensation for the loss of it." Robert Rogers, A Concise Account of North America (London, 1765)," | Edmund S. Morgan | ||
| 93aaeea | When you're small, if you reach out, and nobody takes your hand, you stop reaching out, and reach inside, instead. | Amanda Eyre Ward | ||
| c372dd0 | also, i wanted to kiss you, said lola. come here, said emmett. | Amanda Eyre Ward | ||
| f6ab06d | and sure enough, emmett's voice rose above the din. at some point, though, a mistake becomes a decision, whether you like it or not. in this, my husband and i were fundamentally different. in my opinion, a mistake required a getaway. | Amanda Eyre Ward | ||
| 29efa62 | He is mad about being small when you were big, but no, that's not it, he is mad about being helpless when you were powerful, but no, not that either, he is mad about being contingent when you were necessary, not quite it, he is insane because when he loved you, you didn't notice. | Donald Barthelme |