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9796092 One highly successful venture capitalist who is regularly pitched by young entrepreneurs told me how frustrated he is by his colleagues' failure to distinguish between good presentation skills and true leadership ability. "I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they're good talkers, but they don't have good ideas," he said. "It's so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a goo.. Susan Cain
6f830b0 In China there was more emphasis on listening, on asking questions rather than holding forth, on putting others' needs first. In the United States, he feels, conversation is about how effective you are at turning your experiences into stories, whereas a Chinese person might be concerned with taking up too much of the other person's time with inconsequential information. Susan Cain
b9baa1b Montgomery, Alabama. December 1, 1955. Early evening. A public bus pulls to a stop and a sensibly dressed woman in her forties gets on. She carries herself erectly, despite having spent the day bent over an ironing board in a dingy basement tailor shop at the Montgomery Fair department store. Her feet are swollen, her shoulders ache. She sits in the first row of the Colored section and watches quietly as the bus fills with riders. Until the.. Susan Cain
b9abed7 We are like rubber bands at rest. We are elastic and can stretch ourselves, but only so much. Susan Cain
fdbba14 A hundred people are very stimulating compared to a hundred books or a hundred grains of sand." Many" Susan Cain
47fc5b9 Nor are introverts necessarily shy. Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Susan Cain
b8eb30c I've never been in a group environment in which I didn't feel obliged to present an unnaturally rah-rah version of myself. Susan Cain
cfe6305 Temperament refers to inborn, biologically based behavioral and emotional patterns that are observable in infancy and early childhood; personality is the complex brew that emerges after cultural influence and personal experience are thrown into the mix. Susan Cain
1e794b8 In other words, the four-month-olds who thrashed their arms like punk rockers did so not because they were extroverts in the making, but because their little bodies reacted strongly--they were "high-reactive"--to new sights, sounds, and smells. The quiet infants were silent not because they were future introverts--just the opposite--but because they had nervous systems that were unmoved by novelty. The" Susan Cain
cb1e4af We're told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We Susan Cain
84b3ab5 We're told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts--which means that we've lost sight of who we really are. Susan Cain
db2967a For very different reasons, shy and introverted people might choose to spend their days in behind-the-scenes pursuits like inventing, or researching, or holding the hands of the gravely ill--or in leadership positions they execute with quiet competence. These are not alpha roles, but the people who play them are role models all the same. Susan Cain
ee71664 a high-reactive child's ideal parent: someone who "can read your cues and respect your individuality; is warm and firm in placing demands on you without being harsh or hostile; promotes curiosity, academic achievement, delayed gratification, and self-control; and is not harsh, neglectful, or inconsistent." Susan Cain
15f3d53 Even T. S. Eliot's famous 1915 poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock--in which he laments the need to "prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." Susan Cain
5ba5efc They have difficulty when being observed (at work, say, or performing at a music recital) or judged for general worthiness (dating, job interviews). But there were also new insights. The highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They often describe themselves as creative or intuitive (just as Aron's husband had described her). They dream viv.. Susan Cain
32cc3c9 At the university level, introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability. Susan Cain
342c0ac Galen's Prophecy, Susan Cain
7193773 Whenever you're in an army group and somebody says, 'I think we're all getting on the bus to Abilene here,' that is a red flag. Susan Cain
5fb4557 It's so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a good presenter, easy to get along with, and those traits are rewarded. Well, why is that? They're valuable traits, but we put too much of a premium on presenting and not enough on substance and critical thinking." In" Susan Cain
510dc9d not everyone aspires to be a leader in the conventional sense of the word--that Susan Cain
78ffd11 Scientists now know that the brain is incapable of paying attention to two things at the same time. Susan Cain
8d055f8 evangelical churches often make extroversion a prerequisite for leadership, sometimes explicitly. "The priest must be ... an extrovert who enthusiastically engages members and newcomers, a team player," reads an ad for a position as associate rector of a 1,400-member parish." Susan Cain
49d943c It turned out that the introverts who were especially good at acting like extroverts tended to score high for a trait that psychologists call "self-monitoring." Self-monitors are highly skilled at modifying their behavior to the social demands of a situation. They look for cues to tell them how to act." Susan Cain
4695ece Probably the most common--and damaging--misunderstanding about personality type is that introverts are antisocial and extroverts are pro-social. Susan Cain
b43947d What's so magical about solitude? In many fields, it's only when you're alone that you can engage in deliberate practice. This is the key to exceptional achievement. Susan Cain
2e93370 Restorative niche" is Professor Little's term for the place you go when you want to return to your true self. It can be a physical place, like the path beside the Richelieu River, or a temporal one, like the quiet breaks you plan between sales calls. It can mean canceling your social plans on the weekend before a big meeting at work, practicing yoga or meditation, or choosing e-mail over an in-person meeting." Susan Cain
3200628 Patience Susan Cain
220db13 Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything. --ROBERT RUBIN, In an Uncertain World ALMOST Susan Cain
2d38711 components of the ability to Susan Cain
3708f78 This theory of extroversion is still young, and it is not absolute. Susan Cain
83a45a8 seem to need people as a forum to fill needs for social impact, just as a general needs soldiers to fill his or her need to lead, Susan Cain
dc855c8 people followed Moses because his words were thoughtful, not because he spoke them well. Susan Cain
a8183ec EVER TRIED SELLING YOURSELF TO YOU? A FAVORABLE FIRST IMPRESSION IS THE GREATEST SINGLE FACTOR IN BUSINESS OR SOCIAL SUCCESS. Susan Cain
ae5405c solitude can be a catalyst to innovation. Susan Cain
7835666 Ia vsegda byl loshad'iu v odnokonnoi upriazhke; ia ne sozdan dlia tandema ili komandnoi raboty... ved' ia khorosho znaiu: dlia dostizheniia opredelennoi tseli ochen' vazhno, chtoby odin chelovek i myslil, i poveleval{1}. Al'bert Einshtein Susan Cain
766ca69 Rabotaite v odinochku. Vy smozhete sozdavat' revoliutsionnye produkty s luchshimi kharakteristikami, esli budete rabotat' nad nim samostoiatel'no. Ne v sostave gruppy. Ne v sostave komandy. Susan Cain
13d58a2 Psikholog Gans Aizenk, introversiia <>. Susan Cain
3d25ed1 Bolder animals sally forth, swallowed regularly by those farther up the food chain but surviving when food is scarce and they need to assume more risk. Susan Cain
6be8932 venal Susan Cain
39f8e54 There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum. Susan Cain
01fdec9 What scientists haven't realized until recently is that these risk factors have an upside. In other words, the sensitivities and the strengths are a package deal. High-reactive kids who enjoy good parenting, child care, and a stable home environment tend to have fewer emotional problems and more social skills than their lower-reactive peers, studies show. Often they're exceedingly empathic, caring, and cooperative. They work well with other.. Susan Cain
3069903 We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual--the kind who's comfortable "putting himself out there." Susan Cain
b90abf6 high-reactive child's ideal parent: someone who "can read your cues and respect your individuality; is warm and firm in placing demands on you without being harsh or hostile; promotes curiosity, academic achievement, delayed gratification, and self-control; and is not harsh, neglectful, or inconsistent." Susan Cain
0c2f3f9 At the onset of the Culture of Personality, we were urged to develop an extroverted personality for frankly selfish reasons--as a way of outshining the crowd in a newly anonymous and competitive society. Susan Cain