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0267943
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Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.
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empathy
selfishness
social-intelligence
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Daniel Goleman |
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9d7b84b
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In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels
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thoughts
emotion
science
love
inspirational
neuropsychology
biology
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Daniel Goleman |
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928aad2
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Anyone can become angry --that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way --this is not easy. ARISTOTLE, The Nicomachean Ethics
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Daniel Goleman |
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fdc3b21
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A belligerent samurai, an old Japanese tale goes, once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. The monk replied with scorn, "You're nothing but a lout - I can't waste my time with the likes of you!" His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and, pulling his sword from its scabbard, yelled "I could kill you for your impertinence." "That," the monk calmly replied, "is hell." Startled at seeing the truth ..
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Daniel Goleman |
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449b4c8
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The argument has long been made that we humans are by nature compassionate and empathic despite the occasional streak of meanness, but torrents of bad news throughout history have contradicted that claim, and little sound science has backed it. But try this thought experiment. Imagine the number of opportunities people around the world today might have to commit an antisocial act, from rape or murder to simple rudeness and dishonesty. Make ..
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social-intelligence
human-nature
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Daniel Goleman |
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e21ac12
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people's emotions are rarely put into words , far more often they are expressed through other cues. the key to intuiting another's feelings is in the ability to read nonverbal channels , tone of voice , gesture , facial expression and the like
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Daniel Goleman |
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e3f060f
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Emotional self-control-- delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness- underlies accomplishment of every sort
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emotional-quotient
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Daniel Goleman |
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0bcd9da
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When the eyes of a woman that a man finds attractive look directly at him, his brain secretes the pleasure-inducing chemical dopamine - but not when she looks elsewhere.
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Daniel Goleman |
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fb595af
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Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. HORACE WALPOLE
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Daniel Goleman |
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aed97df
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Our emotional mind will harness the rational mind to its purposes, for our feelings and reactions-- rationalizations-- justifying them in terms of the present moment, without realizing the influence of our emotional memory.
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Daniel Goleman |
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0e7936d
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But the rational mind usually doesn't decide what emotions we "should" have !"
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Daniel Goleman |
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f7bd407
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emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental emotional intelligence: being able to shake off a bad mood
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Daniel Goleman |
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129a282
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Leadership is not domination, but the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal.
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Daniel Goleman |
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6729496
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Feelings are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and "proofs" all their own."
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Daniel Goleman |
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f3524fd
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There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse.
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Daniel Goleman |
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c4faa20
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Benjamin Franklin put it well: "Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one."
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Daniel Goleman |
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0c71a72
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When we are in the grip of craving or fury, head-over-heals in love our recoiling in dread, it is the limbic system that has us in its grip.
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Daniel Goleman |
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e105f41
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out-of-control emotions can make smart people stupid.
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Daniel Goleman |
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0815927
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People with well-developed emotional skills are also more likely to be content and effective in their lives, mastering the habits of mind that foster their own productivity; people who cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight inner battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear thought.
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Daniel Goleman |
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8276c68
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From the vantage point of the brain, doing well in school and at work involves one and the same state, the brain's sweet spot for performance. The biology of anxiety casts us out of that zone for excellence. "Banish fear" was a slogan of the late quality-control guru W. Edwards Deming. He saw that fear froze a workplace: workers were reluctant to speak up, to share new ideas, or to coordinate well, let alone to improve the quality of their ..
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Daniel Goleman |
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00acdda
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Helping people better manage their upsetting feelings--anger, anxiety, depression, pessimism, and loneliness--is a form of disease prevention. Since the data show that the toxicity of these emotions, when chronic, is on a par with smoking cigarettes, helping people handle them better could potentially have a medical payoff as great as getting heavy smokers to quit.
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Daniel Goleman |
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fc1e6f1
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Fear, in evolution, has a special prominence: perhaps more than any other emotion it is crucial for survival.
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Daniel Goleman |
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488ce8a
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A child's readiness for school depends on the most basic of all knowledge, how to learn. The report lists the seven key ingredients of this crucial capacity--all related to emotional intelligence:6 1. Confidence. A sense of control and mastery of one's body, behavior, and world; the child's sense that he is more likely than not to succeed at what he undertakes, and that adults will be helpful. 2. Curiosity. The sense that finding out about ..
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Daniel Goleman |
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8b9cefb
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People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property; there is a huge variability in how you perform. People who have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong.
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Daniel Goleman |
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163ba8c
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For better or worse, intelligence can come to nothing when the emotions hold sway.
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Daniel Goleman |
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251103f
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'nn l sh`wryan nqld lnf`lt lty yZhrh 'mmn shkhS akhr `n Tryq mHk@ Hrky@ l w`y@ lt`byrt lwjh wymth wnbrt Swth wlmHddt Gyr llfZy@ l'khr~ llnf`lt, wbhdhh lmHk@ y`yd l'shkhS fy dkhlhm khlq hdhh lHlt lmzjy@ llshkhS lakhr. why Swr@ mbsT@ mn Tryq@ stnyslfsky wldhy kn yTlb mn lmmthlyn 'n ytdhkrw lmt wlHrkt wlt`byrt l'khr~ lnf`l 'thr fyhm bqw@ fy lmDy mn 'jl stthr@ hdhh lmsh`r mr@ 'khr~.
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Daniel Goleman |
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8147f95
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Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
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Daniel Goleman |
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45d43a3
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many people with IQs of 160 work for people with IQs of 100, if the former have poor intrapersonal intelligence and the latter have a high one.
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Daniel Goleman |
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0a23076
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Forthrightness is the brain's default response: our neural wiring transmits our every minor mood onto the muscles of our face, making our feelings instantly visible. The display of emotion is automatic and unconscious, and so its suppression demands conscious effort. Being devious about what we feel--trying to hide our fear or anger--demands active effort and rarely succeeds perfectly.22
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Daniel Goleman |
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d19ca98
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Martin Luther King Jr. observed that those who failed to offer their aid asked themselves the question: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But the Good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man what will happen to him?"
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Daniel Goleman |
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6b8fc42
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Directing attention toward where it needs to go is a primal task of leadership.
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Daniel Goleman |
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729bb23
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Daydreaming incubates creative discovery.
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Daniel Goleman |
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0c496df
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Mindfulness helps especially for those of us for whom every setback, hurt or dissapointment creates endless cascades of rumination
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Daniel Goleman |
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5f0a3bd
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We transmit and catch moods from each other in what amounts to a subterranean economy of the psyche in which some encounters are toxic, some nourishing.
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Daniel Goleman |
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d036859
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when we hope to be a You, being treated like an It, as though we do not matter, carries a particularly harsh sting.
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Daniel Goleman |
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8f52b2b
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The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant," Albert Einstein once said. "We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
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Daniel Goleman |
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8899cf1
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goal-directed self-imposed delay of gratification" is perhaps the essence of emotional self-regulation: the ability to deny impulse in the service of a goal, whether it be building a business, solving an algebraic equation, or pursuing the Stanley Cup. His finding underscores the role of emotional intelligence as a meta-ability, determining how well or how poorly people are able to use their other mental capacities." --
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Daniel Goleman |
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836184a
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The guiding visionary behind Project Spectrum is Howard Gardner, a psychologist at the Harvard School of Education.7 "The time has come," Gardner told me, "to broaden our notion of the spectrum of talents. The single most important contribution education can make to a child's development is to help him toward a field where his talents best suit him, where he will be satisfied and competent. We've completely lost sight of that. Instead we su..
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Daniel Goleman |
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ba8047c
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Once when I was about 13, in an angry fit, I walked out of the house vowing I would never return. It was a beautiful summer day, and I walked far along lovely lanes, till gradually the stillness and beauty calmed and soothed me, and after some hours I returned repentant and almost melted. Since then when I am angry, I do this if I can, and find it the best cure.
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Daniel Goleman |
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c91878c
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Sadness] enforces a kind of reflective retreat from life's busy pursuits, and leaves us in a suspended state to mourn the loss, mull over its meaning, and, finally, make the psychological adjustments and new plans that will allow our lives to continue
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Daniel Goleman |
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88bd512
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The antidote for mind wandering is meta-awareness, attention to attention itself, as in the ability to notice that you are not noticing what you should, and correcting your focus. Mindfulness makes this crucial attention muscle stronger.12
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Daniel Goleman |
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a9c4580
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It's not the chatter of people around us that is the most powerful distractor, but rather the chatter of our own minds. Utter concentration demands these inner voices be stilled. Start to subtract sevens successively from 100 and, if you keep your focus on the task, your chatter zone goes quiet.
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Daniel Goleman |
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c020330
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Social rejection--or fearing it--is one of the most common causes of anxiety. Feelings of inclusion depend not so much on having frequent social contacts or numerous relationships as on how accepted we feel, even in just a few key relationships.20 Small wonder that we have a hardwired system that is alert to the threat of abandonment, separation, or rejection: these were once actual threats to life itself, though they are only symbolically ..
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Daniel Goleman |
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100ca87
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As Erasmus, the great Renaissance thinker, reminds us, "The best hope of a nation lies in the proper education of its youth."
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Daniel Goleman |