|
1028bb9
|
If there is a remedy, I feel it must lie in how we prepare our young for life.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
3081f71
|
Emotional intelligence does not mean merely "being nice". At strategic moment it may demand not "being nice", but rather, for example, bluntly confronting someone with an uncomfortable but consequential truth they've been avoiding."
|
|
truth
avoiding
being-nice
eq
uncomfortable
emotional-intelligence
avoidance
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
1a309b6
|
For leaders to get results they need all three kinds of focus. Inner focus attunes us to our intuitions, guiding values, and better decisions. Other focus smooths our connections to the people in our lives. And outer focus lets us navigate in the larger world. A leader tuned out of his internal world will be rudderless; one blind to the world of others will be clueless; those indifferent to the larger systems within which they operate will ..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
566ccdd
|
But there is virtually no relationship between being an expert and being seen as someone people can trust with their secrets, doubts, and vulnerabilities. A petty office tyrant or micromanager may be high on expertise, but will be so low on trust that it will undermine their ability to manage, and effectively exclude them from informal networks.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
2a09298
|
power dynamic operates in emotional contagion, determining which person's brain will more forcefully draw the other into its emotional orbit. Mirror neurons are leadership tools: Emotions flow with special strength from the more socially dominant person to the less. One reason is that people in any group naturally pay more attention to and place more significance on what the most powerful person in that group says and does. That amplifies t..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
5505ebc
|
Others point to data showing that even as toddlers, 40 percent of American two-year-olds watch TV for at least three hours a day--hours they are not interacting with people who can help them learn to get along better. The more TV they watch, the more unruly they are by school age.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
ddd1eb3
|
Bereavement is useful; full-blown depression is not. William Styron renders an eloquent description of "the many dreadful manifestations of the disease," among them self-hatred, a sense of worthlessness, a "dank joylessness" with "gloom crowding in on me, a sense of dread and alienation and, above all, a stifling anxiety."14 Then there are the intellectual marks: "confusion, failure of mental focus and lapse of memories," and, at a later st..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
5a5f9df
|
channeling emotions toward a productive end is a master aptitude. Whether it be in controlling impulse and putting off gratification, regulating our moods so they facilitate rather than impede thinking, motivating ourselves to persist and try, try again in the face of setbacks, or finding ways to enter flow and so perform more effectively--all bespeak the power of emotion to guide effective effort.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
a5bde2b
|
The neocortex allows for the subtlety and complexity of emotional life, such as the ability to have feelings about our feelings.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
96c3a67
|
A Persian fairy tale tells of the Three Princes of Serendip, who "were always making discoveries, by accident and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of."7 Creativity in the wild operates much like that."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
8556d60
|
Emotional aptitude is a "meta-ability" , determining how well we can use whatever other skills we have , including raw inellect ."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
526dbd1
|
1. Knowing one's emotions. Self-awareness--recognizing a feeling as it happens--is the keystone of emotional intelligence. As
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
6e7b210
|
The longer someone ignores an email before finally responding, the more relative social power that person has. Map these response times across an entire organization and you get a remarkably accurate chart of the actual social standing. The boss leaves emails unanswered for hours or days; those lower down respond within minutes. There's an algorithm for this, a data mining method called "automated social hierarchy detection," developed at C..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
c9f134e
|
the fine art of relationships--requires the ripeness of two other emotional skills, self-management and empathy. With
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
2881fa2
|
You see it in jazz musicians, who never rehearse exactly what they do, but just seem to know when to take center stage, when to fade into the background. When jazz artists were compared with classical musicians in brain function, they showed more neural indicators of self-awareness.15 As one jazz artist put it, "In jazz you have to tune in to how your body is feeling so you know when to riff."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
5cf92aa
|
we have a bit of self-interest in relieving the misery of others. One school of modern economic theory, following Hobbes, argues that people give to charities in part because of the pleasure they get from imagining either the relief of those they benefit or their own relief from alleviating their sympathetic distress.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
0f3af43
|
The sweet spot for smart decisions, then, comes not just from being a domain expert, but also from having high self-awareness.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
4640e21
|
Sharmayne Williams:]...puoi avere tutte le emozioni possibili, ma non devi permettere che siano loro a manovrarti.
|
|
emozioni
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
f55a099
|
Stress makes people stupid." On"
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
1fd8f88
|
Emotional resilience comes down to how quickly we recover from upsets. People who are highly resilient--who bounce back right away--can have as much as thirty times more activation in the left prefrontal area than those who are less resilient.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
93d7779
|
We do not compete in our careers with people who lack the requisite intelligence to enter and stay in our field--but rather against the much smaller group of those who have managed to jump the hurdles of schooling, entry exams, and other cognitive challenges to get into the field in the first place.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
a3fe9d2
|
In short, out-of-control emotions can make smart people stupid.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
851e936
|
In a complex world where almost everyone has access to the same information, new value arises from the original synthesis, from putting ideas together in novel ways, and from smart questions that open up untapped potential.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
832d5fc
|
The single most important factor in maximizing the excellence of a group's product was the degree to which the members were able to create a state of internal harmony, which lets them take advantage of the full talent of their members. The overall performance of harmonious groups was helped by having a member who was particularly talented; groups with more friction were far less able to capitalize on having members of great ability. In grou..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
e5d968d
|
Though they are quick to put others down, unhealthy narcissists view themselves in absolutely positive terms.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
934d0fa
|
Other research has shown that in the first few milliseconds of our perceiving something we not only unconsciously comprehend what it is, but decide whether we like it or not; the "cognitive unconscious" presents our awareness with not just the identity of what we see, but an opinion about it.7 Our emotions have a mind of their own, one which can hold views quite independently of our rational mind."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
ef34103
|
Rumination can also make the depression stronger by creating conditions that are, well, more depressing.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
68d6a6e
|
26. Kieran C. R. Fox, "Is Meditation Associated with Altered Brain Structure? A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Morphometric Neuroimaging in Meditation Practitioners," Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 43 (2014): 48-73."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
6c3eb68
|
It's the most important relationships in your life, the people you see day in and day out, that seem to be crucial for your health. And the more significant the relationship is in your life, the more it matters for your health."43"
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
53ba60c
|
Dreams are private myths; myths are shared dreams")."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
bde7eac
|
And that is the problem: academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil--or opportunity--life's vicissitudes bring. Yet even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige, or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities, ignoring emotional intelligence, a set of traits--some might call it character--that also matters immensely for our personal destiny.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
4f3aec0
|
Emotionally Intelligent Parenting: How to Raise a Self-disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child. New
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
e697023
|
A series of studies by Marian Radke-Yarrow and Carolyn Zahn-Waxler at the National Institute of Mental Health showed that a large part of this difference in empathic concern had to do with how parents disciplined their children. Children, they found, were more empathic when the discipline included calling strong attention to the distress their misbehavior caused someone else: "Look how sad you've made her feel" instead of "That was naughty...
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
bcb8e99
|
La vida es una comedia para quienes piensan y una tragedia para quienes sienten. Horace Walpole
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
0b2cf67
|
Whenever you notice your mind wandering," a fundamental instruction in meditation advises, "bring your mind back to its point of focus." The operative phrase here is whenever you notice. As our mind drifts off, we almost never notice the moment it launches into some other orbit on its own."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
84810ec
|
pain "is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
87aed42
|
The worst period I ever went through at work," a friend confides, "was when the company was restructuring and people were being 'disappeared' daily, followed by lying memos that they were leaving 'for personal reasons.' No one could focus while that fear was in the air. No real work got done." Small wonder. The greater the anxiety we feel, the more impaired is the brain's cognitive efficiency. In this zone of mental misery, distracting thou..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
fe6c20a
|
Our memories are in part reconstructions. Whenever we retrieve a memory, the brain rewrites it a bit, updating the past according to our present concerns and understanding. At the cellular level, LeDoux explains, retrieving a memory means it will be "reconsolidated," slightly altered chemically by a new protein synthesis that will help store it anew after being updated.40 Thus each time we bring a memory to mind, we adjust its very chemistr..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
c65cd5d
|
Whatever a student hears in class or reads in a book travels these pathways as he masters yet another iota of understanding. Indeed, everything that happens to us in life, all the details that we will remember, depend on the hippocampus to stay with us. The continual retention of memories demands a frenzy of neuronal activity. In fact, the vast majority of neurogenesis--the brain's production of new neurons and laying down of connections to..
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
f79befd
|
As Marcus Aurelius said millennia ago, pain "is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
c2411f6
|
the workings of the amygdala and its interplay with the neocortex are at the heart of emotional intelligence.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
c9d339b
|
The most powerful form of nondefensive listening, of course, is empathy: actually hearing the feelings behind what is being said.
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
af14115
|
Los pensamientos obsesivos son la lena que alimenta el fuego de la ira, un fuego que solo podra extinguirse contemplando las cosas desde un punto de vista diferente
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |
|
55b28db
|
La mente creativa es un don sagrado y la mente racional un sirviente fiel -dijo, en cierta ocasion, Albert Einstein-. Por ello resulta muy curioso que hayamos creado una sociedad que, olvidando el don, haya acabado honrando al sirviente.>>
|
|
|
Daniel Goleman |