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5ca62c3
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His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.
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Terry Pratchett |
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7296421
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Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you.
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thoughts
thinking
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Terry Pratchett |
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3f879b1
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Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2c0e7b8
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I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black!' 'No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.
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Terry Pratchett |
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874c008
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Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.
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Terry Pratchett |
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89a3166
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He had the kind of real deep tan that rich people spent ages trying to achieve with expensive holidays and bits of tinfoil, when really all you need to do to obtain one is work your arse off in the open air everyday.
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tanning
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Terry Pratchett |
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5c05ec8
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NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR? Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.
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money
morality
economics
society
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Terry Pratchett |
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897fa2f
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Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you want to happen; witches tell you what's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular.
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Terry Pratchett |
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276e049
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Tiffany has been apprenticing as a witch by visiting people in need with her mentor. After meeting with one particularly sad case, she tells her mentor, "It shouldn't be like this." Her mentor replies, "There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do." --
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tiffany-aching
situation
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Terry Pratchett |
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88f4714
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We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't you?" "Why?" "It saves time."
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Terry Pratchett |
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1ac8d96
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People whose wishes get granted often don't turn out to be very nice people.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5085a0c
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Polly felt questing eyes boring into her. She was embarrassed, of course. But not for the obvious reason. It was for the other one, the little lesson that life sometimes rams home with a stick: you are not the only one watching the world. Other people are people; while you watch them they watch you, and they think about you while you think about them. The world isn't just about you.
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Terry Pratchett |
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d6af648
|
For example, the dwarfs found out how to turn lead into gold by doing it the hard way. The difference between that and the easy way is that the hard way works.
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Terry Pratchett |
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cd719ad
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It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
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humour
life
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Terry Pratchett |
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cdfbcf3
|
The boldest of the three moved suddenly, grabbed Angua and pulled her upright. "We walk out of here unharmed or the girl gets it, all right?" he snarled. Someone sniggered. "I hope you're not going to kill anyone," said Carrot. "That's up to us!" "Sorry, was I talking to you?" said Carrot."
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humourous
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Terry Pratchett |
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df2047d
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The theater troubled her. It had a magic of its own, one that didn't belong to her, one that wasn't in her control. It changed the world, and said things were otherwise than they were. And it was worse than that. It was magic that didn't belong to magical people. It was commanded by ordinary people, who didn't know the rules. They altered the world because it sounded better.
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Terry Pratchett |
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457fdae
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Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.
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Terry Pratchett |
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cb0046c
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They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done. They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted it or die in the attempt, and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in the attempt.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b731da7
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These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred yards away instead of the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.
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Terry Pratchett |
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df5c8c3
|
The key to winning, as always, was looking as if you had every right, nay, duty to be where you were. It helped if you could also suggest in every line of your body that no one else had any rights to be doing anything, anywhere, whatsoever.
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Terry Pratchett |
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1fc4089
|
But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.
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rats
stories
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Terry Pratchett |
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a7443c4
|
This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here."
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social
insanity
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Terry Pratchett |
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0cb90e8
|
You'd better tell me what you know, toad," said Tiffany. "Miss Tick isn't here. I am." "Another world is colliding with this one," said the toad. "There. Happy now? That's what Miss Tick thinks. But it's happening faster than she expected. All the monsters are coming back." "Why?" "There's no one to stop them." There was silence for a moment. "There's me," said Tiffany."
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inspirational
monsters
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Terry Pratchett |
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bc28255
|
Belief sloshes around in the firmament like lumps of clay spiralling into a potter's wheel. That's how gods get created, for example. They clearly must be created by their own believers, because a brief resume of the lives of most gods suggests that their origins certainly couldn't be divine. They tend to do exactly the things people would do if only they could, especially when it comes to nymphs, golden showers, and the smiting of your ene..
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religion
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Terry Pratchett |
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8b242c8
|
The people of Ankh-Morpork had a straightforward, no-nonsense approach to entertainment, and while they were looking forward to seeing a dragon slain, they'd be happy to settle instead for seeing someone being baked alive in his own armour. You didn't get the chance every day to see someone baked alive in their own armour. It would be something for the children to remember.
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Terry Pratchett |
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77bea6f
|
The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness.
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universe
world
pratchett
forces
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Terry Pratchett |
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6078b08
|
AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON!" which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point of balloons is to teach small children this." --
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Terry Pratchett |
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e89bcc1
|
I assure you I will not kill you," said Inigo. "I know that," said Vimes. "But will you try?"
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terry-pratchett
sam-vimes
|
Terry Pratchett |
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678e6bc
|
Once upon a time the plural of 'wizard' was 'war'.
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Terry Pratchett |
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233b1cb
|
If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.
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funny-but-true
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Terry Pratchett |
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f40da75
|
Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.
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trolls
rincewind
swords
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Terry Pratchett |
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f500eda
|
For the first time in her life Granny wondered whether there might be something important in all these books people were setting store by these days, although she was opposed to books on strict moral grounds, since she had heard that many of them were written by dead people and therefore it stood to reason reading them would be as bad as necromancy. Among the many things in the infinitely varied universe with which Granny did not hold was t..
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Terry Pratchett |
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1f6da9c
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Odd thing, ain't it... you meet people one at a time, they seem decent, they got brains that work, and then they get together and you hear the voice of the people. And it snarls.
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sam-vimes
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Terry Pratchett |
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f642f27
|
I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol. "That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either."
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Terry Pratchett |
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eb9d69a
|
Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f2c1c31
|
EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, STAYS HAPPENED. "What kind of philosophy is that?" THE ONLY ONE THAT WORKS."
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Terry Pratchett |
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060c31c
|
If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.
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humour
|
Terry Pratchett |
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0d0687e
|
The storm was really giving it everything it had. This was its big chance. It had spent years hanging around the provinces, putting in some useful work as a squall, building up experience, making contacts, occasionally leaping out on unsuspecting shepherds or blasting quite small oak trees. Now an opening in the weather had given it an opportunity to strut its hour, and it was building up its role in the hope of being spotted by one of the ..
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Terry Pratchett |
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8eaec01
|
Cake is not the issue here.
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Terry Pratchett |
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3e70c4f
|
Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime.
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Terry Pratchett |
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af04918
|
And Tiffany knew that if a witch started thinking of anyone as " " anything, that would be the first step on a well-worn path that could lead to, oh, to poisoned apples, spinning wheels, and a too-small stove... and to pain, and terror, and horror and the darkness."
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Terry Pratchett |
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97a9df9
|
The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.
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humour
librarian
|
Terry Pratchett |
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ae39b71
|
I MAY HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF SOME FLICKER OF EMOTION IN THE RECENT PAST, said Death, BUT I CAN GIVE IT UP ANY TIME I LIKE.
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humor
|
Terry Pratchett |
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cf9f84a
|
Even with nougat, you can have a perfect moment.
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Terry Pratchett |