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94c8b46
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He wondered what kind of life it would be, having to keep swimming all the time to stay exactly in the same place. Pretty similar to his own, he decided.
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swimming
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Terry Pratchett |
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8b14404
|
Or -- and this she knew was a far more accurate way of looking at it -- the book was true and reality was lying.
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reality
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Terry Pratchett |
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6727739
|
Don't
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Terry Pratchett |
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4533770
|
Don't you *ever* let go?" "I haven't yet." "Why?" "I suppose... because in this world, after everyone panics, there's always got to be someone to tip the wee out of the shoe." --
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Terry Pratchett |
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59d99c8
|
If you have let pride get the better of you, then you have already lost, but if you grab pride by the scruff of the neck and ride it like a stallion, then you may have already won.
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Terry Pratchett |
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14235f3
|
You needed at least three witches for a coven. Two witches was just an argument.
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Terry Pratchett |
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66abbf3
|
Nothing's louder than the end of a song that's always been there.
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Terry Pratchett |
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21f92ee
|
No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpork. Well technically they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders found, after a few days, that they didn't own their horses any more, and within a couple of months they were just another minority group with its own graffiti and food shops.
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fantasy
comedy
discworld
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Terry Pratchett |
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ffd53b9
|
Everything is a test.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4c2768f
|
Character assassination. What a wonderful idea. Ordinary assassination only works once, but this one works every day.
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Terry Pratchett |
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37d84f8
|
Someone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will the spell a) work b) fail or c) melt the bottom out of the cauldron? Goodie Whemper's curiosity about such things was huge and insatiable*. * Nearly insatiable. It was probably satiated in her last flight to test whether a broomstick could survi..
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Terry Pratchett |
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38bee3e
|
Every organization needs at least one person who knows what's going on, and why it's happening, and who's doing it.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2b66a3d
|
Welcome to the world," he said wearily. "You get used to it after a while."
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Terry Pratchett |
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837220a
|
It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country's main export. It had rain mines.
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weather
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Terry Pratchett |
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adefd6f
|
A young man of godlilke proportions* was standing in the doorway. * The better class of gods, anyway. Not the ones with the tentacles, obviously.
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thud
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Terry Pratchett |
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bad2b3c
|
It's a bad case o' the thinkin' he's caught, missus. When a man starts messin' wi' the readin' and the writin' then he'll come doon with a dose o' the thinkin' soon enough. I'll fetch some o' the lads and we'll hold his heid under water until he stops doin' it, 'tis the only cure. It can kill a man, the thinkin'.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a25ab6e
|
ALWAYS REMEMBER that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.
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Terry Pratchett |
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317ec68
|
Horses, Death felt, shouldn't grin. Any horse that was grinning was planning something.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5d83917
|
A witch sees through things and around things. A witch sees farther than most, a witch sees things from the other side. A witch knows where she is, who she is and when she is ...
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Terry Pratchett |
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3eb88d0
|
And then there was the headless horseman!" said Tiffany. "He had no head!" "Well, that is the major job qualification," said the toad."
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Terry Pratchett |
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8f5305d
|
The was written by a Klatchian necromancer known to the world as Achmed the Mad, although he preferred to be called Achmed the I Just Get These Headaches. It is said that the book was written in one day after Achmed drank too much of the strange thick Klatchian coffee which doesn't just sober you up, but takes you through sobriety and , so that you glimpse the real universe beyond the clouds of warm self-delusion that sapient life usuall..
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Terry Pratchett |
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7dd10a0
|
Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all right because, to be fair, so had the students.
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humor
students
university
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Terry Pratchett |
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232bcb6
|
Plants on the disc, while including the categories known commonly as annuals, which were sown this year to come up later this year, biennials, sown this year to grow next year, and perennials, sown this year to grow until further notice, also included a few rare re-annuals which, because of an unusual four-dimensional twist in their genes, could be planted this year to come up last year. The vul nut vine was particularly exceptional in that..
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Terry Pratchett |
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8bf28dc
|
And there was the matter of Dick Turpin. It looked like the same car, except that forever afterwards it seemed able to do 250 miles on a gallon of petrol, ran so quietly that you practically had to put your mouth over the exhaust pipe to see if the engine was firing , and issued its voice-synthesized warnings in a series of exquisite and perfectly-phrased haikus, each one original and apt... Late frost burns the bloom Would a fool not let t..
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Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman |
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2569b5f
|
One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.
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shoehorn-with-teeth
they-might-be-giants
new-york-city
|
Terry Pratchett |
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3550392
|
He was currently wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were.
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Terry Pratchett |
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3a3b656
|
In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.
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humor
artists-life
|
Terry Pratchett |
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81ef397
|
Religion is not an exact science. Sometimes, of course, neither is science.
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Terry Pratchett |
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038afe8
|
The dwarfs can turn lead into gold... It reached the pointy ears of the dwarfs. -Can we? -Damned if I know. I can't. -Yeah, but if you could, you wouldn't say. I wouldn't say, if I could. -Can you? -No! -Ah-ha!
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Terry Pratchett |
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286cf30
|
Is It Frightening To Be Free?" "You said it." "You Say To People 'Throw Off Your Chains' And They Make New Chains For Themselves?" "Seems to be a major human activity, yes."
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human-nature
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Terry Pratchett |
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969b3b8
|
Never promise to do the possible. Anyone could do the possible. You should promise to do the impossible, because sometimes the impossible possible, if you could find the right way, and at least you could often extend the limits of the possible. And if you failed, well, it been impossible.
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going-postal
moist-von-lipwig
|
Terry Pratchett |
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bea4595
|
Anyway, lots of warrior tribes think that when they die, they go to a heavenly land somewhere," said the toad. "You know, where they can drink and fight and feast forever? So maybe this is theirs." "But this is a real place!" "So? That's what they believe. Besides, they're only small. Maybe the universe is a bit crowded and they have to put heavens anywhere there's room? I'm a toad, so you'll appreciate that I'm having to guess a lot here."
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humor
|
Terry Pratchett |
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ecd5e9d
|
Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4a4ef20
|
Who'd want a pony when you could have the whole universe? It was far more interesting and you didn't have to muck it out once a week.
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Terry Pratchett |
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e0ea08c
|
There are things so horrible that even the dark is afraid of them. Most people don't know this and this is just as well because the world could not really operate if everyone stayed in bed with the blankets over their head, which is what would happen if people knew what horrors lay a shadow's width away.
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dark
terry-pratchett
equal-rites
horror
discworld
|
Terry Pratchett |
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33a6a66
|
Oh, well...up until now it had been a good day, in a horrible kind of way.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4fe9349
|
They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?
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Terry Pratchett |
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f07ca60
|
Right!" "Right!" "You can get there!" "I can get there!" "You're a natural at counting to two!" "I'm a nat'ral at counting to two!" "If you can count to two, you can count to anything!" "If I can count to two, I can count to anything!" "And then the world is your mollusc!" "My mollusc! What's a mollusc?"
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stupidity
vocabulary
|
Terry Pratchett |
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284ef2d
|
The fact was that, as droves of demon kings had noticed, there was a limit to what you could do to a soul with, e.g., red-hot tweezers, because even fairly evil and corrupt souls were bright enough to realize that since they didn't have the concomitant body and nerve endings attached to them there was no real reason, other than force of habit, why they should suffer excruciating agony. So they didn't. Demons went on doing it anyway, because..
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Terry Pratchett |
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a000e8a
|
They've got something they do it with, I think it's called a mocracy, and it means everyone in the whole country can say who the new Tyrant is. One man ... one vet. ... Everyone has ... the vet. Except for women, of course. And children. And criminals. And slaves. And stupid people. And people of foreign extraction. And people disapproved of for, er, various reasons. And lots of other people. But everyone apart from them. It's a very enligh..
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Terry Pratchett |
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d2e7d9d
|
He wanted one drink, and understood precisely why he wasn't going to have one. One drink ended up arriving in a dozen glasses.
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drinking
humor
|
Terry Pratchett |
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15c7e39
|
It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing' people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.
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Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman |
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e922289
|
Just a minute," said Lobsang. "Who you? Time has stopped, the world is given over to...fairy tales and monsters, and there's a walking around?" "Best kind of person to have," said Susan. "We don't like silliness. Anyway, I told you. I've inherited certain talents." "Like living outside of time?" "That's one of them." "It's a weird talent for a schoolteacher!" "Good for marking, though," said Susan calmly."
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humourous
|
Terry Pratchett |
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119b4a5
|
I dinna trust him," said Slightly Mad Angus. "He reads books an' such."
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Terry Pratchett |