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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| f6b5047 | Eroticism resides in the ambiguous space between anxiety and fascination. | Esther Perel | ||
| 96d05c4 | Erotic intelligence is about creating distance, then bringing that space to life. | Esther Perel | ||
| 9812d21 | Once divorce carried all the stigma. Now, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame. | Esther Perel | ||
| d3a9fc0 | In this world there are only two tragedies. One is getting what one wants, and the other is not getting it." When" | Esther Perel | ||
| 12c3090 | Ours is a culture that reveres the ethos of absolute frankness and elevates truth-telling to moral perfection. Other cultures believe that when everything is out in the open and ambiguity is done away with, it may not increase intimacy, but compromise it. | Esther Perel | ||
| 7d82438 | By turning our backs on other loves, we confirm the uniqueness of our "significant other." "I have found The One. I can stop looking." Miraculously, our desire for others is supposed to evaporate, vanquished by the power of this singular attraction." | Esther Perel | ||
| fa22025 | when two become one--connection can no longer happen. There is no one to connect with. Thus separateness is a precondition for connection: this is the essential paradox of intimacy and sex. | Esther Perel | ||
| 157f98f | The Archaeology of Desire The psychology of our desire often lies buried in the details of our childhood, and digging through the early history of our lives uncovers its archaeology. We can trace back to where we learned to love and how. Did we learn to experience pleasure or not, to trust others or not, to receive or be denied? Were our parents monitoring our needs or were we expected to monitor theirs? Did we turn to them for protection, .. | Esther Perel | ||
| 17bc695 | Sometimes they come sheepishly; sometimes they arrive desperate, dejected, enraged. They don't just miss sex, the act; they miss the feeling of connection, playfulness, and renewal that sex allows them. I invite you to join me in my conversations with these questers as we work toward opening up and coming a step closer to transcendence. | Esther Perel | ||
| ae710ad | Trouble looms when monogamy is no longer a free expression of loyalty but a form of enforced compliance. Excessive monitoring can set the stage for what Stephen Mitchell calls "acts of exuberant defiance." -- | Esther Perel | ||
| 9b06fe8 | Because I believe that some good can come out of the crisis of infidelity, I have often been asked, "So, would you recommend an affair to a struggling couple?" My response? A lot of people have positive, life-changing experiences that come along with terminal illness. But I would not recommend having an affair than I would recommend getting cancer." | Esther Perel | ||
| 7edcc74 | Everyday in my office I meet consumers of the modern ideology of marriage. They bought the product, got it home, and found that it was missing a few pieces. So they come to the repair shop to fix it so it looks like what's on the box. They take their relational aspirations as a given-both what they want and what they deserve to have-and are upset when the romantic ideal doesn't jibe with the unromantic reality. It's no surprise that this ut.. | marriage romance | Esther Perel | |
| ec6db7a | When marriage was an economic arrangement, infidelity threatened our economic security; today marriage is a romantic arrangement and infidelity threatens our emotional security. | Esther Perel | ||
| 788d46b | Q: Are there any secrets to long-lasting relationships? A: Infidelity. Not the act itself, but the threat of it. For Proust, an injection of jealousy is the only thing capable of rescuing a relationship ruined by habit. --Alain de Botton, How Proust Can Change Your Life The bonds of wedlock are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, sometimes three. --Alexandre Dumas | Esther Perel | ||
| 5443868 | Childhood has been sanctified so that it no longer seems ridiculous for one adult to sacrifice herself entirely in order to foster the flawless and painless development of her offspring--a one-person, round-the-clock child rearing factory. This is a far cry from the days (not so long ago in America and still present in many parts of the world) when children were considered principally as collective economic assets, and women gave birth to m.. | Esther Perel | ||
| 1d0f647 | Infidelity hurts. But when we grant it a special status in the hierarchy of marital misdemeanors, we risk allowing it to overshadow the egregious behaviors that may have preceded it or even led to it. | Esther Perel | ||
| 60d791d | Barry Johnson, an expert on leadership who is the author of Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems, | Esther Perel | ||
| 94343a9 | Eventually, if desire withers, monogamy too easily slides downward into celibacy. When this happens, fidelity becomes a weakness rather than a virtue. | Esther Perel | ||
| f8d999f | When I ask her if her open marriage isn't painful, she answers, "Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not. But monogamy--which we never negotiated, by the way--was painful, too." | Esther Perel | ||
| 77be6ef | The swiping culture lures us with infinite possibilities, but it also exerts a subtle tyranny. The constant awareness of ready alternatives invites unfavorable comparisons, weakens commitment, and prevents us from enjoying the present moment. | Esther Perel | ||
| c4bb259 | our social needs for intimacy, belonging, and acceptance. Mate preferences for status can explain our esteem needs for recognition, fame, and glory. Mate preferences for intelligence, knowledge, skills, and moral virtues can explain our cognitive needs to learn, discover, and create, and our self-actualization needs to fulfill our potential (for example, to display the highest possible mate value given our genetic quality). | Geoffrey Miller | ||
| 4c0d3ac | By intelligently choosing their sexual partners for their mental abilities, our ancestors became the intelligent force behind the human mind's evolution. | Geoffrey Miller | ||
| e73187c | The psychologist Geoffrey Miller, when pondering why we haven't come across any alien species as yet, decided that they were probably all addicted to video games and are thus brought to an extreme state of apathy--the exploratory opposite of the heroes in Star Trek who spend all their time seeking out "new life and new civilizations." The" | Michael Harris | ||
| 7ed3db1 | One problem with most current governments is that they prioritize economic growth (as mismeasured by GDP per capita) over citizens' happiness, quality of life, efficiency of trait display, and breadth and depth of social networks. The latter outcomes are not actually any harder to measure than GDP per capita. For example, the UN Human Development Index (HDI) measures overall quality of life fairly well by taking into account life expectancy.. | Geoffrey Miller | ||
| 4c618a0 | The psychologist Geoffrey Miller, when pondering why we haven't come across any alien species as yet, decided that they were probably all addicted to video games and are thus brought to an extreme state of apathy--the exploratory opposite of the heroes in Star Trek who spend all their time seeking out "new life and new civilizations." The aliens "forget to send radio signals or colonize space," he wrote in Seed magazine, because they're too.. | Michael Harris | ||
| 44c55a0 | Emotional support is yet another facet of commitment, revealed by behavior such as being available in times of trouble and listening to the partner's problems. | David M. Buss | ||
| 91c8f64 | Bob Woodward, this is Steve Thomas. | John Feinstein | ||
| 2be4649 | Until the August 1 story about the Dahlberg check, the working relationship between Bernstein and Woodward was more competitive than anything else. Each had worried that the other might walk off with the remainder of the story by himself. If one had gone chasing after a lead at night or on a weekend, the other felt compelled to do the same. -- Carl Bernstein, Bob Woodward | Carl Bernstein | ||
| b736085 | Sussman had the ability to seize facts and lock them in his memory, where they remained poised for instants recall. More than any other editor at the Post, or Bernstein and Woodward, Sussman became a walking compendium of Watergate knowledge, a reference source to be summoned when even the library failed. On a deadline, he would pump these facts into a story in a constant infusion, working up a body of significant information to support wha.. | watergate | Carl Bernstein | |
| fcbfd81 | For Carter, it was as if the ghosts of Watergate stalked the halls of the White House. As with most ghosts, he wasn't sure they existed, where they were or how to exorcise them. | shadow | Bob Woodward | |
| f3ede0c | Hardly unaware of his image, Bradlee even cultivated it. He delighted in displaying his street savvy, telling a reporter to get his ass moving and talk to some real cops, not lieutenants and captains behind a desk; then rising to greet some visiting dignitary from Le Monde or L'Express in formal, flawless French, complete with a peck on each cheek. -- Carl Bernstein, Bob Woodward | Carl Bernstein | ||
| 787753a | Soon, challenges against the Post's ownership of two television stations in Florida were filed with the Federal Communications Commission. The price of Post stock on the American Exchange dropped by almost 50 percent. Among the challengers - forming the organizations of 'citizens' who proposed to become the new FCC licensees - were several persons long associated with the President. -- Carl Bernsein, Bob Woodward | Carl Bernstein | ||
| 233ffcd | On his desk he kept a quotation from investigative reporter Bob Woodward: "All good work is done in defiance of management." | Dan Fagin | ||
| 8f20548 | Daddy," said the toddler, now seething with righteous indignation, "you are a poo-poo head!" Feigning outrage, JFK lowered his voice. "John," he said, "no one calls the President of the United States a poo-poo head." | humor kids | Christopher Andersen | |
| 6bc1783 | 1978 when she decided to contact Clinton. That's when events took a turn for the worse. As Christopher Andersen writes in American Evita: Juanita checked into Little Rock's Camelot | Victor Thorn | ||
| d678aac | Concord Academy. Since leaving home, John's sister had decided that she, too, wished to take to the skies. "People always think of John running up to welcome his father's helicopter," Pierre Salinger said. "They forget Caroline was on the White House lawn waiting for Daddy, too." Moreover, JFK's campaign plane was named after her--something she took considerable pride in as a little girl. "Caroline had been flying for years before John was .. | Christopher Andersen | ||
| 0a197a8 | Gentle swells had replaced the angry waves of yesterday. The gentle breakers made their way to shore glinting with green as they somersaulted to shore. The waves showed an edge of lacy foam that caressed the sand. It was peaceful. | beachtime ocean sand sea selkie selkie-women shore summer summertime | Sharon Brubaker | |
| 18555b7 | Our ancestors said to their mother Earth: 'We are yours'. Modern Humanity said to Nature, 'You are mine'. The Green Man has returned as the living face of the whole earth so that through his mouth we may say to the universe: 'We are one'. | cosmos earth green-man humanity mother-earth nature universe | Sharon Brubaker | |
| dadd10f | Don't believe that, dear. Don't ever believe that. Nobody's bad just because of the way they look. It's what's inside a person that counts.' 'But, Ma, what's inside a person? When people look different are they different inside, too?' Ma didn't answer, she was looking at her hands now, kneading a ball of dough. Saroj thought she had forgotten her and so she said, 'Ma?' Ma turned her eyes back to Saroj. 'I'll show you in a moment, dear. I'll.. | Sharon Maas | ||
| 980dbdb | Lights from across the bay twinkled in the night and Christmas carols played softly in the background. She wished for snow to fall to add to the season. | christmas christmas-carols fall music season snow | Sharon Brubaker | |
| 67c997a | foot-in-mouth disease | Sharon Green | ||
| 0df326e | Worrying about how you look to others is what makes you less of a man... If you think that having my wife in breeches has taken anything away from my ability with a sword, you can test that theory later... | Sharon Green | ||
| ba4b377 | The medieval Islamic world . . . offered vastly more freedom than any of its predecessors, its contemporaries and most of its successors. --Bernard Lewis, historian of the Middle East1 | Mustafa Akyol | ||
| 6de5d65 | Shame and suffering, as St. Bernard says, are the two ladder-uprights which are set up to heaven, and between those two uprights are the rungs of all virtues fixed, by which one climbs to the joy of heaven... In these two things, in which is all penance, rejoice and be glad, for in return for these, twofold blisses are prepared: in return for shame honour; in return for suffering, delight and rest without end. | Philip Zaleski |