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22b1e5f No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money. Authors
c2f99fa It is the rust we value, not the gold;Authors, like coins, grow dear, as they grow old. Authors
68ed252 Wait, what? Ain't no thing. I'ma choke you out ironically, Evan, so you be too cool for school. Cool as a motherfuckin' corpse, Evan." He let a little air through. "I love something! I do love something." "You do?" "My cat, Cisco." "Cisco? After the outlaw?" "After the networking company." "Yeah, I'm sho-nuff gonna choke this motherfucker out!" Christopher Moore
7aa9efe ALTHOUGH HE WOULD NOT REMEMBER IT, WHEN LUCIEN WAS BORN, the first thing he saw as he peeked over the edge of the world was Madame Lessard's bunghole. Well that can't be right, he thought. And he thought he might cry for the shock. Then the midwife flipped him over and the second thing he saw was the blue sky through the skylight. He thought, Oh, that's better. Christopher Moore
a1fa6fe The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The Christopher Moore
1d77107 By the way, his name was Joshua. Jesus is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Yeshua, which is Joshua. Christ is not a last name. It's the Greek for messiah, a Hebrew word meaning anointed. I have no idea what the "H" in Jesus H. Christ stood for. It's one of the things I should have asked him. Me? I am Levi who is called Biff. No middle initial. Joshua was my best friend." Christopher Moore
8db06c1 Some time ago, the Luminatus, or the Great Death, who kept balance between light and darkness, ceased to be. Since then, Forces of Darkness have been trying to rise from below. You are all that stands between them and destruction of the collective soul of humanity. Try not to screw up. Christopher Moore
508259e The garlic bread lay there between them, steaming with implications. They, of course, must both eat it or neither could. Garlic bread meant garlic breath. There might be a kiss later, maybe more. There was just too damn much intimacy in garlic bread. Christopher Moore
c06d4a3 Minty? Your name is Minty Fresh? Christopher Moore
7cac0cf Flood lego al mundo una estela de libros magnificos y de corazones rotos, y aunque es bien sabido que el amor de su vida fue tambien su perdicion, nunca se arrepintio de ello, como demuestra su discurso de aceptacion del premio Nobel: <>. vampires Christopher Moore
50c3371 O White Devil, you do not want to purloin that purple fruit, for I have four thousand years of ancestors and civilization on you; my grandparents built the railroads and dug the silver mines, and my parents survived the earthquake, the fire, and a society that outlawed even being Chinese; I am mother to a dozen, grandmother to a hundred, and great-grandmother to a legion; I have birthed babies and washed the dead; I am history and suffering.. Christopher Moore
d54516d The world is led by Alpha Males, but the machinery of the world turns on the bearings of the Beta Male. Christopher Moore
913950b El pecado de Onan. Derramar en el suelo la vieja semilla. Atar el camello. Quitarle el polvo al burro. Azotar al fariseo. Onanismo, el pecado que requiere de cientos de horas de practica para ser dominado, o al menos eso era lo que yo me decia a mi mismo. Dios mato a Onan por derramar su semilla en el suelo (la semilla de Onan, no la de Dios). humor jesus-christ messiah Christopher Moore
63eb562 Charlie said, "Mr. Mainheart was pretty broken up." "Well, I guess so," Lily said. "He married a complete fucktard." Christopher Moore
828dd87 So, there on the front step, he decided to go with total hysteria. He started breathing hard, pumping up some tears, got a good whimpering sob going, then opened the door with a dieseling back sniffle. He fell onto the welcome mat and let loose with a full fire-truck-siren wail. Christopher Moore
7136cb3 For it is written that 'if the wise man always appears stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise. Christopher Moore
f9d0984 Whistler," Manet called. "How's your mother?" Christopher Moore
9218c7c We'll help," said one boy, his finger far enough up his nose to tickle a memory nesting in his frontal lobe." Christopher Moore
0af53e1 Outside the bedroom Jane fumbled around and in her purse and produced a pack of cigarettes, but couldn't figure out whether to smoke one or not. "Holy Motown Jesus with Pips, what the fuck is going on in there?" Christopher Moore
d116703 And whence do you hail?" "From Bonking, sire." "Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?" -- Christopher Moore
ead8d3e All women are the same; a man needs to simply find his ideal and marry her to have all the women in the world. Christopher Moore
9ee1251 He was very desperate for Audrey not to think of him as a bad guy. Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women. Christopher Moore
ed9706a you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them. The key--and this is very relevant in our case--is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own. Christopher Moore
4e0826a But Nestle's Crunch is a fine choice," said Sam, trying to buy time, and keep the guy from going off on him. "A bit naive, but an undergrowth of ambergris and walnut gives it legs." Christopher Moore
660eb4d once brought a frog home, hoping to keep him as a pet. Not a large frog, a one-handed frog, quiet and well mannered. My mother made me release him, then cleanse myself in the immersion pool (the mikveh) at the synagogue. Still she wouldn't let me in the house until after sunset because I was unclean. Christopher Moore
f76aa34 Rescued me from the darkest heart of the forest, fought off brigands, pygmies, and a brace of tigers to bring me here. But don't let him talk his Welsh at you, one tiger was vanquished in a sluice of phlegm and mortally beaten with consonants. Christopher Moore
bae8650 Authors are partial to their wit, 'tis true,But are not critics to their judgment too? Authors
d14625f In every work regard the writer's end,Since none can compass more than they intend. Authors
1a17b17 Being a shepherd seems easy. I went with Kaliel last week to tend his flock. The Law says that two must go with the flock to keep an abomination from happening. I can spot an abomination from fifty paces." Maggie smiled. "And did you prevent any abominations?" "Oh yes, I kept all of the abominations at bay while Kaliel played with his favorite sheep behind the bushes." "Biff," Joshua said gravely, "that was the abomination you were supposed.. Christopher Moore
6f66433 I said," said Lear, "most pernicious monstress, perfect in her perfidy!" Kent mimed a set of generous bosoms on himself and raised an eyebrow as if to ask, "Boobs?" I shrugged as if to say, "Aye, boobs sounds right." "Aye, most pernicious perfidy indeed, sire," said I. "Aye, most bouncy and jiggling perfidy,"3 said Kent." Christopher Moore
e001421 While Charlie's Beta Male imagination may have often turned him toward timidity and even paranoia, when it came to accepting the unacceptable it served him like Kevlar toilet paper--bulletproof, if a tad disagreeable in application. Christopher Moore
c6c4dcb 3. In order to hold off the Forces of Darkness, you will need a number two pencil and a calendar, preferably one without pictures of kitties on it. Keep it near you when you sleep. Christopher Moore
f3bb1eb HMS Belfast is a gunship of 11,000 tons, commissioned in 1939, which saw active service in the Second World War. Since then it has been moored on the south bank of the Thames, in postcard-land, between Tower Bridge and London Bridge, opposite the Tower of London. From its deck one can see St. Paul's Cathedral and the gilt top of the columnlike Monument to the Great Fire of London erected, as so much of London was erected, by Christopher Wre.. Neil Gaiman
8289dc6 LIke many artists, Estelle lived in an atmosphere of chaotic funk, taken by observers to be artistic charm, but in fact no more than a civilized way of dealing with the relative poverty and uncertainty of cannibalizing one's imagination for money. (15/142) Christopher Moore
3764b6b Have you never met anyone who works in a record store? There's no greater repository of unjustified arrogance in the world. I'd poison my employees if I thought I could find replacements. Christopher Moore
f92739f The loft looked as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy-bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off. Christopher Moore
27b8dc3 Chet looked like a big-eyed, potbellied, protohuman in fur-lined, duct-tape space boots - the feline love child of Gollum and Dobby the house-elf. Christopher Moore
6f2f9eb Drool has sprouted an erection. Let's ask him what he's thinking about. Had his way with a knotted oak on the way here. A right spectacular tree-shagging it was, too. Knocked down enough acorns to feed the village for a week. They wanted to have a special feast day in honor of the git--declare him god of the tree-shag--more fertility symbols there than you can shake a stick at, innit? Christopher Moore
ddb41df And in retrospect, the flannel shirt may have been a mistake. He looked like he'd shown up at the sacrificial mass of the damned ready to fix the dishwasher. Christopher Moore
870393e Finding her boyfriend tied naked to an upright bed frame, covered in blood, with a dead, blue dominatrix at his feet would be enough to rattle some women's confidence in the stability of their relationship. Some women might even take it as a sign of trouble. But Jody had been single for a number of years - she'd dated rock musicians and stockbrokers - and was conditioned to unusual bumps on the road of romance, so she simply sighed and kick.. Christopher Moore
024e1ec Hey, Barry, climb off, motherfucker, I'm up next, then it's Jeff's turn. I put it on the board. Blue, don't let him do that to your ear, baby, you won't hear for a month. Christopher Moore
78da25b You should never pass up an opportunity to be kind. You should never not thank someone. You should never not say something nice when you think it." "I don't." -- Christopher Moore
c2f7ddc Is it the fault of a girl bright with the light of romance that she falls in love with a rascal? Is the love any less pure? Any less heartfelt? Any less painful when lost? Christopher Moore
ee48e4c She changed your oil and put the chill on you all in one night? Christopher Moore