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9c56181 You take your mentoring where you can find it, even if it's not being offered to you. Mindy Kaling
e4ead2b Full-on All-Night Sex-a-thon is also the name of my debut hip-hop album. Mindy Kaling
e19b47f In my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you're wanted. The slightly nervous asking of your phone number. The text message asking you to dinner. The simple overture of wanting me can satisfy my ego for a good long time. Mindy Kaling
f6bb4a2 But maybe that was the trick--to accept the responsibility and forgo the control? To love without expectation? Ruth Ozeki
e399da2 In my late twenties, when I moved to Los Angeles and all my friends seemed to spread out around the country, I would tell myself, Once I am on hiatus from the show, I will visit them and everything will be the same. But the hiatus would come and go, and a movie role or rewrite job would keep me in L.A. Until I realized: this long expanse of free time to rekindle friendships is not real. We will never come home to each other again and we wil.. Mindy Kaling
a95938a Luckily, I was not born a white man.1 I was born a socially anxious Indian woman. Mindy Kaling
f66e7b7 The person above is the creation of a handful of talented people whose job it is to make me look good. I'm of course talking about the hair, makeup, costume, lighting, spackling, and hoisting departments. They all work hard, so all I have to do is show up in my sweatpants and zit cream and say the magic words: "Make me look gorgeous or you're fired." I'm just kidding! I don't do that. In fact, I don't have to do anything. That's why I'm a s.. Mindy Kaling
3237685 This wretched little magazine article has helped convince more open-minded liberal arts graduates that the nuclear family doesn't exist without some hideous twist, like the dad is allowed to go to an S&M dungeon once a week or something. It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship. Mindy Kaling
1910576 I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up. Mindy Kaling
c237423 No, that is boring. If people want to see medical stuff they should watch ER. Mindy Kaling
50de07b I skipped out of the Fox lot, threw my Keds back on, resisted the temptation to go over to the Simpsons building and take selfies with the Bart Simpson topiary, Mindy Kaling
9c5666d That's because my show is on a major network and you can't show all that stuff, and also because my dad is alive and I would like to have lunch with him without feeling mired in dishonor. Mindy Kaling
dbc08f1 I also did that thing that corrupt politicians do where I hired all my friends to work with me, so that's very nice as well. I like to think of myself as the Rod Blagojevich of television. Mindy Kaling
a0ae230 depression is something that I've come to accept from my creative community and I realize that's probably alien to most people. I don't know why the funniest people I know are also depressed. Mindy Kaling
5966923 Years later I realized that the way I had felt during those first few months was correct. I didn't deserve to be confident yet. I happen to believe that no one inherently deserves anything, except basic human rights, and not to have to watch an ad before you watch a trailer on YouTube. So Mindy Kaling
9784f84 It's just that, the truth is, I have never, ever, ever met a highly confident and successful person who is not what a movie would call a "workaholic." We can't have it both ways, and children should know that. Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. THE" Mindy Kaling
c2a9e3a But it's not that I think I'm so great. I just don't hate myself. I do idiotic things all the time and I say crazy stuff I regret, but I don't let everything traumatize me. And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that's why you need to be a little bit brave. People Mindy Kaling
c786b62 Which is why you need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you're failing. It calms them. That's why the show Intervention is a hit and everyone loves "worrying about" Amanda Bynes. But when you're winning, it makes them feel like they're losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should've tried to do something too, but now it's.. Mindy Kaling
9f79d8d If my childhood, teens, and twenties were about wanting people to like me, now I want people to know me. So, Mindy Kaling
dfd7a0e Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic. The Mindy Kaling
e3d642f Sometimes a story just needs an ending, and I used to not be a creative enough person to think of an ending to a romantic story that isn't a wedding or a death. This story didn't end in fireworks, because the truth is, fireworks are something from my twenties. I could have made fireworks, but I chose to make a nuanced memory of a person who is neither a hero nor a villain in my life. All I had to do now was move on. In the words of both Mar.. Mindy Kaling
172d50b People get Mindy Kaling
e5a4471 I also became familiar with an entirely new category of people: the unhappily married person. They are everywhere, and they are ten thousand times more depressing than a divorced person. My friend Tim, whose name I've changed, obviously, has gotten more and more depressing since he married his girlfriend of seven years. Tim is the kind of guy who corners you at a party to tell you, vehemently, that And that you have to . And that going t.. marriage romance Mindy Kaling
951ff96 I might even know more divorced people than married people, because I live in godless Los Angeles, where if you're engaged it simply means you're publicly announcing that you are dating a person monogamishly. I Mindy Kaling
056ef2c I don't wake up in the morning, look at my naked body in the mirror, and say, "Good morning, body. Once again, you've nailed it, you gorgeous imperfect thing. That wobbly patch of cellulite? A miracle. Each stretch mark? A Picasso. Holy crap, I look good! Who can I sext? Somebody else has got to see this!" -- Mindy Kaling
58aa73a I also began to have a pretty disturbing attitude toward eating. I developed a real superiority complex to people who ate actual food. I realized that this is how fashion editors at women's magazines must feel all the time. Oh God, look at those sad piggos, munching away on their sandwiches. I'd just sit there, sipping my kale juice, quietly judging everyone as they happily ate their lunches. And Mindy Kaling
26cc8f6 But my secret is: even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don't wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things. I will leave you with one last piece of advice, which is: If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it? And that, my friends, sha.. Mindy Kaling
efe7e90 Lots of stupid people were skinny, and yet I couldn't do this incredibly simple thing they could do with seeming ease. Mindy Kaling
7daee32 Every kid wants approval, but my desire to be well liked was central to my personality. Mindy Kaling
b4e6e15 This photo is more significant because it is a rare time where my head looks normal size. I have enormous head, so it is important to me to have a few flattering, head-minimizing photos. Mindy Kaling
b88f6ef The truth is, it's hard to get people to like you, but it's even harder to keep people liking you. You Mindy Kaling
787c5ef EVERYONE KNOWS THAT all white people are racist. And Mindy Kaling
7bb27ad When Your Boyfriend Fits into Your Jeans and Other Atrocities The Mindy Kaling
d353421 confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. Mindy Kaling
df16a8a There is no difference between Ripley from Alien and any Katherine Heigl character. Mindy Kaling
b2040ee If you can't handle providing all the courses for your dinner party, you can't handle the hosting duties of a dinner party. Mindy Kaling
e0e9e8c I never think environmental hazards are going to kill me. I only think serial killers are. Mindy Kaling
e99f856 And this actress, this poor skinny actress who so clearly lost weight to play the likable lead, has to say things like 'shut up you guys! I love cheesecake! If I want to eat an entire cheesecake, I will!' If you look closely, you can see this woman's ribs through the dress she's wearing--that's how skinny she is, this cheesecake-loving cow. Mindy Kaling
a6e39dc I do not need to hear people tearing into Lisa Lampanelli for liking to have sex only with black men. I'm sad that this is her famous running gag. I'm sad that I now know this. I'm sad that a legitimate rung on the ladder of making it in comedy is writing hateful stuff about total strangers. I don't know. Mindy Kaling
a58f21c Unlike other athletes, Frisbee people won't let it go. My theory is that this is because there's a huge overlap between people who are good at Frisbee and people who do Teach for America. The same instinct to make at-risk kids learn, which I admire so much, becomes deadly when turned on friends trying to relax on a Sunday afternoon in the park. Mindy Kaling
1843225 I am so accustomed to the young mom phenomenon, that when I saw the poster for The Proposal I wondered for a second if the proposal in the movie was Ryan Reynolds suggesting he send his mother, Sandra Bullock, to an old-age home. Mindy Kaling
5e4b992 I love you, Mindy! Mindy, look at me, believe me!" "I don't? "Why????" "Because you love me until you don't." Mindy Kaling
fb3e393 One stipulation to my borrowing your clothes is that you have to have worn the item at least once before I borrow it. I'm not a monster. Mindy Kaling
363df60 I was just a friendly thirty-four-year-old TV actress looking for a boyfriend who didn't have a neck tattoo. Mindy Kaling