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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| c2b6af3 | Yo mama is so lazy... she undercooks Ramen noodles! Yo mama is so lazy... she don't have dining table because she is always in bed! Yo mama is so lazy... she stuck her head out the window to let the wind blow her nose! Yo mama is so lazy... she was late to her "stay at home" job! Yo mama is so lazy... she thinks a two-income family is where the man has two jobs. Yo mama is so lazy... she arrived late at her own funeral. Yo mama is so lazy.... | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 609f2ab | Yo mama is twice the man you are! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 2235471 | Yo mama is so fat... she jumped in the air and got stuck. | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 5b3bd28 | Yo mama is so fat... she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| e4f0d7f | Yo mama is so fat... she fell and made the Grand Canyon! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 8ed11e9 | Knock knock! Who's there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for too long! Knock knock! Who's there? Summer! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| f91c72a | Q: What is the opposite of a cold front? A: A warm back! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 2115d06 | Knock knock! Who's there? Betty! Betty who? Betty can't guess who I am! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| b4eabbc | Q: What kind of hot drink do aliens drink? A: Gravi-tea! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| b95c1da | Q: What do you call an egg from outer space? A: An unidentified flying omelet! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 21ce62a | What kind of washing detergent does the ocean use? A: Tide! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 0fdf5e2 | Funny Jokes for Kids Johnny B. | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| da06a73 | Yo mama is so poor... birds throw bread at her! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 99b2159 | Knock knock! Who's there? Yule! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 954d07c | Yo mama's teeth are so yellow... that when she smiles traffic slows down. | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 7fe3fad | Knock knock! Who's there? Alma! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 3e6e5eb | Q: What does a vampire take for a cold? A: Coffin syrup! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 140cea9 | Yo mama's teeth are so yellow... I can't believe it's not butter. | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 86c1702 | Yo mama is so fat... she ate an entire pizza..... Hut! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 2f1309d | Yo mama is so fat... when she plays hopscotch, she goes North America, South America, Europe, Asia. | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| eaf24ce | Allison to the radio every morning! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| ffa50a7 | Who won the Monster Beauty Contest? A: No one! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 161952a | A: Take his shovel away! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 2b9a9ff | Yo mama is so fat... when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck! | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 3bbfc9a | Yo mama is so fat... she put on her lipstick with a paint roller. | Johnny B. Laughing | ||
| 8962d40 | O why doe wretched men so much desire, To draw their dayes vnto the vtmost date, And doe not rather wish them soone expire, Knowing the miserie of their estate, And thousand perills which them still awate, Tossing them like a boate amid the mayne, That euery houre they knocke at deathes gate? And he that happie seemes and least in payne, Yet is as nigh his end, as he that most doth playne. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| a2189ad | For louers heauen must passe by sorrowes hell. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| 3d9481d | They that haue much, feare much to loose thereby, And store of cares doth follow riches store. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| 4d7d3ec | For so must all things excellent begin. --Edmund Spenser, The Faerie Queene | Susanna Kearsley | ||
| a8fd460 | Ah lucklesse babe, borne vnder cruell starre, And in dead parents balefull ashes bred, Full litle weenest thou, what sorrowes are Left thee for portion of thy liuelihed, Poore Orphane in the wide world scattered, As budding braunch rent from the natiue tree, And throwen forth, till it be withered: Such is the state of men: thus enter wee Into this life with woe, and end with miseree. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| 3f889e3 | Not so (quoth he) love most aboundeth there. For all the walls and windows there are writ, All full of love, and love, and love my deare, And all their talke and studie is of it. Ne any there doth brave or valiant seeme, Unlesse that some gay Mistresse badge he bears: Ne any one himselfe doth ought esteeme, Unlesse he swin in love up to the ears. But they of love and of his sacred lere, (As it should be) all otherwise devise, Then we poore .. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| 129a750 | After long stormes and tempests sad assay, Which hardly I endured heretofore: in dread of death and daungerous dismay, with which my silly barke was tossed sore: I doe at length descry the happy shore, in which I hope ere long for to arryue: fayre soyle it seemes from far and fraught with store of all that deare and daynty is alyue. Most happy he that can at last atchyue the ioyous safety of so sweet a rest: whose le.. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| 46ab7ed | He seekes out mighty charmes , to trouble sleepy mindes. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| f7668a6 | What franticke fit (quoth he) hath thus distraught Thee, foolish man, so rash a doome to give? What justice ever other judgement taught, But he should die, who merites not to live? None else to death this man despayring drive, But his owne guiltie mind deserving death. Is then unjust to each his due to give? Or let him die, that loatheth living breath? Or let him die at ease, that liveth here uneath? Who travels by the wearie wandring way, .. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| 8458602 | Wrath, gealosie, griefe, loue do thus expell: Wrath is a fire, and gealosie a weede, Griefe is a flood, and loue a monster fell; The fire of sparkes, the weede of little seede, The flood of drops, the Monster filth did breede: But sparks, seed, drops, and filth do thus delay; The sparks soone quench, the springing seed outweed, The drops dry vp, and filth wipe cleane away: So shall wrath, gealosie, griefe, loue dye and decay. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| af4197a | The whiles some one did chaunt this louely lay; Ah see, who so faire thing doest faine to see, In springing flowre the image of thy day; Ah see the Virgin Rose, how sweetly shee Doth first peepe forth with bashfull modestee, That fairer seemes, the lesse ye see her may; Lo see soone after, how more bold and free Her bared bosome she doth broad display; Loe see soone after, how she fades, and falles away. So passeth, in the passing of a day,.. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| be6aebd | Faire Ladies, that to loue captiued arre, And chaste desires do nourish in your mind, Let not her fault your sweet affections marre, Ne blot the bounty of all womankind; 'Mongst thousands good one wanton Dame to find: Emongst the Roses grow some wicked weeds; For this was not to loue, but lust inclind; For loue does alwayes bring forth bounteous deeds, And in each gentle hart desire of honour breeds. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| c023669 | O what auailes it of immortall seed To beene ybred and neuer borne to die? Farre better I it deeme to die with speed, Then waste in woe and wailefull miserie. Who dyes the vtmost dolour doth abye, But who that liues, is left to waile his losse: So life is losse, and death felicitie. Sad life worse then glad death: and greater crosse To see friends graue, then dead the graue selfe to engrosse. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| 758c763 | It is the mind that maketh good or ill, that maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor." --Edmund Spenser" | Ilya Alexi | ||
| 7fdd8dd | All this world's glory seemeth vain to me, And all their shows but shadows, saving she. | Edmund Spenser | ||
| e8444b3 | Beauty is that Medusa's head Which men go armed to seek and sever. It is most deadly when most dead. And dead will stare and sting forever. --Archibald MacLeish, "Beauty" | Scott Westerfeld | ||
| 71159c0 | What surf Of what far sea upon what unknown ground | Archibald MacLeish | ||
| f376d4b | The popular director of OWI was Elmer Davis, an ex-CBS radioman with an admiration for the wire services and Murrow. Working closely with the Librarian of Congress, the poet Archibald MacLeish, who headed the Office of Facts and Figures, Davis believed that truth was the smartest type of propaganda. This was in stark contrast to the Axis nations, which banned opposition newspapers, censored stories, and screened every dispatch. Fortunately, | Douglas Brinkley | ||
| eff25b0 | On December 25, 1968, a day after the photograph was taken, the poet Archibald MacLeish wrote in the New York Times : "To see the earth as it truly is, small and blue and beautiful in that eternal silence where it floats, is to see ourselves as riders on the earth together, brothers on that bright loveliness in the eternal cold--brothers who know now they are truly brothers." | Emily Esfahani Smith |