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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| 868909b | I'm a bad man. | Roxane Gay | ||
| c377da5 | I believe it is so important for women to feel comfortable in their bodies, without wanting to change every single thing about their bodies to find that comfort. | Roxane Gay | ||
| f3f1543 | What those doctors offered was so tempting, so seductive: this notion that we could fall asleep for a few hours, and within a year of waking up, most of our problems would be solved, at least according to the medical establishment. That is, of course, if we continued to delude ourselves that our bodies were our biggest problem. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 24671dd | I did not know if I would ever find my way past that shame and toward a place where I could face my body, accept my body, change my body. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 607aec9 | The next morning, I had a dry headache and my mouth was a horrible, lonely place. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 84c2e29 | There are years and years of my life I can't remember a thing about. A family member will say, "Remember the time [insert significant family moment]," and I stare blankly, with no recollection of these moments whatsoever. We have a shared history and yet we do not." | Roxane Gay | ||
| 5ec5ad9 | I cannot enjoy food around my family, but to be fair, food is not something I can enjoy around most people. To be seen while I am eating feels like being on trial. When we do eat together, my family watches me. Or I feel like they are watching me because I am hyper-self-conscious, because they are concerned. Or, more accurately, my family used to intently watch me eating, monitor me, try to control and fix me. | Roxane Gay | ||
| dab693f | I wanted to feel like he and I belonged to each other, but each time we were together and then after, I felt quite the opposite. And still, I was drawn to him. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 48a00fc | I went back to school, and my classmates admired my new body, offered me compliments, wanted to hang out with me. That was the first time I realized that weight loss, thinness really, was social currency. | Roxane Gay | ||
| e76adf3 | I am stronger than I am broken. I don't want them, or anyone, to think I am nothing more than the worst thing that has ever happened to me. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 7ff1a76 | Whenever I am near other people, I try to fold into myself so that my body doesn't disrupt the space of others. I take this to extremes. I will spend five-hour flights tucked against the window, my arm tucked into the seat belt, as if trying to create absence where there is excessive presence. I walk at the edge of sidewalks. In buildings I hug the walls. I try to walk as quickly as I can when I feel someone behind me so I don't get in thei.. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 6e9dc79 | We don't all have to believe in the same feminism. Feminism can be pluralistic so long as we respect the different feminisms we carry with us, | Roxane Gay | ||
| 220d97f | Still, I keep coming back to the relative impunity with which the men in This Is How You Lose Her get to behave badly, and to the tone of the critical reception to these stories, which are not only stories but confessions, lamentations of misdeeds. We have all been influenced by a culture where women are considered inferior to men, and I would have loved to see what a writer of Diaz's caliber might do if he allowed his character to step out.. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 8112c7e | My other wardrobe, the one that dominates most of my closet, is full of the clothes I don't have the courage to wear. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 0199ee2 | The notion that I should be fine with the status quo even if I am not wholly affected by the status quo is repulsive. These | Roxane Gay | ||
| 4a4d483 | Sometimes, I hope that by telling these stories again and again, I will have a better understanding of how the world works. | Roxane Gay | ||
| c0d67ce | I refuse to expect less. I try to learn better, do better. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 02e8f8b | More often than not, the show is trying too hard to do too much, but that's okay. This show should not have to be perfect. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 3308eef | Oftentimes, a likable character is simply designed as such to show that he or she is one who knows how to play by the rules and cares to be seen as playing by the rules. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 07263d4 | Many people are privileged, and again, it's easy to resent that because the level of privilege expressed in the show reminds us that sometimes, success really starts with where you come from. | Roxane Gay | ||
| e909757 | This required negotiating a fine balance, and I am a clumsy person. | Roxane Gay | ||
| d4d743e | Rosin suggests that feminists are holding on to a grudge, that feminists are willfully holding on to this notion of patriarchal dominance as if we would be unable to function if we weren't suffering. I'm only one feminist, but I'm confident we'd be just fine if all were right with the world. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 3d62945 | Feminism will better succeed with collective effort, but feminist success can also rise out of personal conduct. I hear many young women say they can't find well-known feminists with whom they identify. That can be disheartening, but I say, let us (try to) become the feminists we would like to see moving through the world. | role-models | Roxane Gay | |
| 904d32f | In Gone Girl, Amy talks about the temptation of being the woman a man wants, but ultimately she doesn't give in to the temptation to be "the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn't ever complain." | Roxane Gay | ||
| 7681f77 | Christian far tillfalle att visa Ana vem som bestammer, sa att saga, i en valdigt dramatisk scen dar han hugger tag i hennes handleder och leder in henne i sitt sovrum for att vederborligen deflorera henne. Perversionerna kan vanta, men det kan inte hennes vagina. Nar Christian bar ivag med Ana sager han: "Vi ska omedelbart atgarda situationen", vilket definitivt ar vad varje kvinna vill hora nar hon har sex for forsta gangen." | Roxane Gay | ||
| e9539d6 | That is, of course, if we continued to delude ourselves that our bodies were our biggest problem. | Roxane Gay | ||
| ead825f | We are free to speak as we choose without fear of prosecution or persecution, but we are not free to speak as we choose without consequence. | free-speech | Roxane Gay | |
| 16a17ab | We hold all people to unspoken rules about who and how they should be, how they should think, and what the should say. We say we hate stereotypes but take issue when people deviate from those stereotypes. | people prejudice stereotypes | Roxane Gay | |
| 00607f7 | We all have the capacity to do hurtful things, but we differ from one another in terms of scale-how much we can hurt others, how far we will go to make a statement about our beliefs, how remorseful we might feel in the aftermath of committing a terrible act. | limits people | Roxane Gay | |
| 2efee7e | This tension-the idea that there is a right way to be a woman, a right way to be the most essential woman- is ongoing and pervasive. | women | Roxane Gay | |
| 5bca033 | When I was completely worn-out, I sank to the floor. The heat overwhelmed me. Already, my clothes clung to my body. I could smell myself. The edges of my face were damp with sweat. Heat | Roxane Gay | ||
| ef64af5 | This is the uncomfortable truth: everything is a trigger for someone. | Roxane Gay | ||
| c51270c | Western opinions on the hijab or burkas are rather irrelevant. We don't get to decide for Muslim women what does or does not oppress them, no matter how highly we think of ourselves. In | Roxane Gay | ||
| 507350f | Few things work in practice as well as they do in theory. Justice is anything but blind. All too often, the people who most need justice benefit the least. The statistics about who is incarcerated and how incarceration affects their future prospects are bleak. | Roxane Gay | ||
| b0e3077 | We should be able to say, "This is my truth," and have that truth stand without a hundred clamoring voices shouting, giving the impression that multiple truths cannot coexist. Because at some point, doesn't privilege become beside the point? Privilege" | Roxane Gay | ||
| c9f230c | my hands, my fingers quickly slicking with | Roxane Gay | ||
| 69013d5 | I don't believe in safety. I wish I did. I am not brave. I simply know what to be scared of; I know to be scared of everything. There is freedom in that fear. That freedom makes it easier to appear fearless--to say and do what I want. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 3cac4ae | When people wield the word "privilege," it tends to fall on deaf ears because we hear that word so damn much it has become white noise. One" | Roxane Gay | ||
| d7b2899 | All to often, suffering exists in a realm beyond vocabulary so we navigate that realm awkwardly, fumbling for the right words, hoping we can somehow approximate an understanding of matters that should never have to be understood by anyone in any place in the world. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 9e8f6f9 | Luck and loneliness, it would seem, are very compatible. | Roxane Gay | ||
| d557daf | Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses--pretty but designed to SLOW women down. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 8e93ac1 | Reading and writing have always pulled me out of the darkest experiences in my life. Stories have given me a place in which to lose myself. They have allowed me to remember. They have allowed me to forget. They have allowed me to imagine different endings and better possible worlds. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 4d70eb3 | do not understand the unspoken rules of trigger warnings. I cannot write the way I want to write and consider using trigger warnings. I would second-guess myself, temper the intensity of what I have to say. I don't want to do that. I don't intend to ever do that. | Roxane Gay | ||
| 1d71210 | Essential feminism suggests anger, humorlessness, militancy, unwavering principles, and a prescribed set of rules for how to be a proper feminist woman, or at least a proper white, heterosexual feminist woman--hate pornography, unilaterally decry the objectification of women, don't cater to the male gaze, hate men, hate sex, focus on career, don't shave. I kid, mostly, with that last one. This is nowhere near an accurate description of femi.. | Roxane Gay |