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1915e8d The Titans were gone. They had clashed their last. Jane Gardam
07132a4 This is one possible answer to the deflationary sensation so perfectly captured in a question mark in Jane Gardam's novel of the dissolution of the Raj, Old Filth: 'When empires end, there's often a dazzling finale - then--?'31 Well, perhaps empires don't quite end when you think they do. Perhaps they have a final moment of zombie existence. This may be the last stage of imperialism - having appropriated everything else from its colonies, t.. Fintan O'Toole
a184d2b He has not the faintest idea that I am ugly and we are very happy together. humor Jane Gardam
2e469cc I was seeing something I didn't understand and did not want to. No I wasn't. I was seeing something I had always understood and wanted to understand better. humor growing-up Jane Gardam
38e825e Christianity is supposed to be all about love but it's utterly useless when you're love. religion love Jane Gardam
ad6b9f1 I was quite enchanted with myself. I had always thought I had very strong views on sexual morality. I found I had nothing of the kind. coming-of-age sexuality Jane Gardam
e7540ae If you do not know the truth, you cannot recognize the lie." - Joyce Meyer" Jeanette Menter
ec6cb3f When you lurch from one thing to the next, constantly scheming, or reacting to incoming fire, the mind gets exhausted. You get sloppy and make bad decisions. Dan Harris
9b4044e Acknowledging other people's basic humanity is a remarkably effective way of shooing away the swarm of self-referential thoughts that buzz like gnats around our heads. Dan Harris
cd65fcf May you be happy. May you be safe and protected from harm. May you be healthy and strong. May you live with ease. Dan Harris
58e7d71 Mark also pointed out that mindfulness was a skill--one that would improve as I got more meditation hours under my belt. In that spirit, he said I should consider going on a retreat. Dan Harris
394c00e Make the present moment your friend rather than your enemy. Because many people live habitually as if the present moment were an obstacle that they need to overcome in order to get to the next moment. And imagine living your whole life like that, where always this moment is never quite right, not good enough because you need to get to the next one. That is continuous stress." Okay, now this made a ton of sense to me." Dan Harris
ccebccd Make the present moment your friend rather than your enemy. Because many people live habitually as if the present moment were an obstacle that they need to overcome in order to get to the next moment. And imagine living your whole life like that, where always this moment is never quite right, not good enough because you need to get to the next one. That is continuous stress." Okay, now this made a ton of sense to me. For" Dan Harris
ac74eb9 In my view, the balance between stress and contentment was life's biggest riddle. On the one hand, I was utterly convinced that the continuation of any success I had achieved was contingent upon persistent hypervigilance. I figured this kind of behavior must be adaptive from an evolutionary standpoint--cavemen who worried about possible threats, real or imagined, probably survived longer. On the other hand, I was keenly aware that while thi.. Dan Harris
65c4441 We now know that happiness, resilience, and compassion are skills, susceptible to training. You don't have to resign yourself to your current level of well-being, or wait for your life circumstances to change; you can take the reins yourself. Dan Harris
5f227aa Mindfulness provides space between impulse and action, so you're not a slave to whatever neurotic obsession pops into your head. Dan Harris
d0942fe Forget mindfulness. You just have to be a gorgeous lazy slacker. skeptics slacker mindfulness meditation Dan Harris
9e672eb Just as it's possible for humans to train to be fast or strong enough to compete in the Olympics, he argued we can practice to be the wisest or most compassionate version of ourselves. Dan Harris
cd0c9df Serendipitously, on the very night of my meeting with Ben, I had scheduled a dinner with Mark Epstein. In the taxi on my way downtown I called Bianca and told her how it'd gone. "He's right," she said. Which came as no surprise; Ben had basically affirmed her thesis. "This is good. Now you know what you need to do." Mark and I met to eat at a fussy Japanese restaurant called Brushstroke, where they only served a tasting menu and the waiters.. Dan Harris
0259257 The price of security is insecurity. Dan Harris
6c2b8ef There's no magic or mysticism required--it's just exercise. If you do the right amount of reps, certain things will happen, reliably and predictably. One of those things, according to the research, is that your brain will change in positive ways. You will get better at not being carried away by your passing emotional squalls; you will learn--maybe 10% of the time, maybe more--to respond, not react. Dan Harris
11d0bdb How often are we waiting for the next pleasant hit of... whatever? The next meal or the next relationship or the next latte or the next vacation, I don't know. We just live in anticipation of the next enjoyable thing that we'll experience. Dan Harris
47bd7f4 It's neuroscience that would say that our capacity to multitask is virtually nonexistent. Multitasking is a computer-derived term. We have one processor. We can't do it. Dan Harris
4d49474 Then it clicked. Per usual, Mark's advice was sound, even if it took me a while to absorb it. Striving is fine, as long as it's tempered by the realization that, in an entropic universe, the final outcome is out of your control. If you don't waste your energy on variables you cannot influence, you can focus much more effectively on those you can. When you are wisely ambitious, you do everything you can to succeed, but you are not attached t.. Dan Harris
c421b71 patients saw their health improve if they did volunteer work. Dan Harris
af2eb7e Much of our inner dialogue is this constant reaction to experience by a selfish, childish protagonist. Dan Harris
1d31e0b A big part of (Janice) Marturano's success in bringing mindfulness to this unlikely venue was that she talked about it not as a "spiritual" exercise but instead as something that made you a "better leader" and "more focused," and that enhanced your "creativity and innovation." She didn't even like the term "stress reduction." "For a lot of us," she said, "we think that having stress in our lives isn't a bad thing. It gives us an edge." Dan Harris
9952c0e The habits of a lifetime reassert themselves with astonishing speed. Dan Harris
35d47f1 Meditation suffers from a towering PR problem, largely because its most prominent proponents talk as if they have a perpetual pan flute accompaniment. If you can get past the cultural baggage, though, what you'll find is that meditation is simply Dan Harris
5e1d3c4 They had a suggestion for me: I should go on a retreat. Recognizing the look of dread on my face, they acknowledged it could be a little tough, but assured me it would be worth it. They knew an amazing teacher, they said. His name: Joseph Goldstein. Dan Harris
e9399cb Meditation suffers from a towering PR problem, largely because its most prominent proponents talk as if they have a perpetual pan flute accompaniment. If Dan Harris
02ab80d You can't control what comes up, only how you respond. You Dan Harris
b772304 She nailed the method for applying mindfulness in acute situations, albeit with a somewhat dopey acronym: RAIN. R: recognize A: allow I: investigate N: non-identification "Recognize" Dan Harris
776f0cb With uncontrived sincerity he said, "I want to know you." That was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me." Dan Harris
48e7d30 The Way of the Worrier 1. Don't Be a Jerk 2. (And/But . . .) When Necessary, Hide the Zen 3. Meditate 4. The Price of Security Is Insecurity--Until It's Not Useful 5. Equanimity Is Not the Enemy of Creativity 6. Don't Force It 7. Humility Prevents Humiliation 8. Go Easy with the Internal Dan Harris
cf6a1fa But it was in this moment, lying in bed late at night, that I first realized that the voice in my head--the running commentary that had dominated my field of consciousness since I could remember--was kind of an asshole." - Dan Harris" S.J. Scott
9f902da You need sandals, bro. You'll catch gingivitis! Dan Harris
0fa481b Although I tried to always keep in mind something a friend had once told me: "Your demons may have been ejected from the building, but they're out in the parking lot, doing push-ups.") At" Dan Harris
43ed2a0 Make the present moment your friend rather than your enemy. Because many people live habitually as if the present moment were an obstacle that they need to overcome in order to get to the next moment. And imagine living your whole life like that, where always this moment is never quite right, not good enough because you need to get to the next one. That is continuous stress." Okay," Dan Harris
b04e30f didn't need to waste so much time envisioning some vague horribleness awaiting me in my future. Dan Harris
d2205b0 All we can do is everything we can do. (David Axelrod) Dan Harris
1cc4991 If you don't waste your energy on variables you cannot influence, you can focus much more effectively on those you can. (Mark Epstein) Dan Harris
081e586 If everything in this world was in constant decay, why expend so much energy gnashing my teeth over work? Dan Harris
7eb3434 Turns out, it's pretty simple to win people over, especially in tense situations, if you're able to take their perspective and validate their feelings. Dan Harris