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148168b
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Everyone has a moment when they discover they love Amy Poehler.
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Mindy Kaling |
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ec5a1e2
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It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship.
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Mindy Kaling |
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50e1bdf
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Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.
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dreams
friendship
humor
life
inspirational
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Mindy Kaling |
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ea6ab05
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There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes
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Mindy Kaling |
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190b670
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This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It's mostly pink. If you're reading this book every night for months, something is not right.
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Mindy Kaling |
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b2f1153
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Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away.
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Mindy Kaling |
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d38d299
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I will leave you with one last piece of advice, which is: If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?
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Mindy Kaling |
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d0b15ed
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if someone really wants to see you, they always find a way. Always.
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Mindy Kaling |
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9ec87d6
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All women love Colin Firth: Mr. Darcy, Mark Darcy, George VI--at this point he could play the Craigslist Killer and people would be like, 'Oh my God, the Craigslist Killer has the most boyish smile!
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Mindy Kaling |
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8edd991
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If someone called me chubby, it would no longer be something that kept me up late at night. Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me. Do I envy Jennifer Hudson for being able to lose all that weight and look smokin' hot? Of course, yes. Do I sometimes look at Gisele Bundchen and wonder how awesome life would be if I never had to wear Spanx? Duh, of course. That's kind of ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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9946b9d
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I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quite, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e55b249
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The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I'm reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT!
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Mindy Kaling |
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be1def6
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In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with the for the next forty years.
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Mindy Kaling |
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643a4e7
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People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work. That's a mistake. I know I sound like some dour older spinster on Downton Abbey who has never felt a man's touch and whose heart has turned to stone, but I don't understand how you could have self-confidence if you don't do the work... I have never, ever, ever, met a high confident person and successful person who is not what a movie would call a 'workaholic.' Because confiden..
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success
inspirational
hard-work
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Mindy Kaling |
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4e2dcc9
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Writing, at its heart, is a solitary pursuit, designed to make people depressoids, drug addicts, misanthropes, and antisocial weirdos.
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Mindy Kaling |
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fff6ec6
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I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn't conversation. It'll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, "Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake."
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Mindy Kaling |
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256a635
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The chorus of "Jack and Diane" is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life."
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Mindy Kaling |
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c6a6040
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I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.
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men
mindy-kaling
shoes
guys
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Mindy Kaling |
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73ef9b1
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So I'm into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man.
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mindy-kaling
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Mindy Kaling |
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c5322ce
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When I was a kid, my parents smartly raised us to keep quiet, be respectful to older people, and generally not question adults all that much. I think that's because they were assuming that 99 percent of the time, we'd be interacting with worthy, smart adults... They didn't ever tell me 'Sometimes you will meet idiots who are technically adults and authority figures. You don't have to do what they say.
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Mindy Kaling |
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d59bbcd
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When smart people are nice, it's always terrifying, because I know they're taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things.
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Mindy Kaling |
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9c9b0fd
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the best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.
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Mindy Kaling |
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807b895
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write your own part. It is the only way I've gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.
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Mindy Kaling |
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38ba754
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Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered
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Mindy Kaling |
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3bdf44f
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The truth is, it's hard to get people to like you, but it's even harder to keep people liking you.
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Mindy Kaling |
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adac705
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Maybe the point is that any marriage is work, but you may as well pick work that you like.
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Mindy Kaling |
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cca4598
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Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke.
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Mindy Kaling |
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d24b17c
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I am notorious for making impassioned speeches about things nobody cares about.
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Mindy Kaling |
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04ad97c
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It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.
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murder
humor
kaling
mindy
fame
popularity
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Mindy Kaling |
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51d84b4
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A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.
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Mindy Kaling |
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1b8ee24
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Until I realized: this long expanse of free time to rekindle friendships is not real. We will never come home to each other again and we will never again have each other's undivided attention. That version of our friendship is over forever. And when I remember this, and it usually happens in those awful, quiet evening hours on Sunday nights, after dinner but before bed, I just lie on my sofa and cry for half an hour.
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Mindy Kaling |
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31a5cc9
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Confidence is just entitlement. Entitlement has gotten a bad rap because it's used almost exclusively for the useless children of the rich, reality TV stars, and Conrad Hilton Jr., who gets kicked off an airplane for smoking pot in the lavatory and calling people peasants or whatever. But entitlement in and of itself isn't so bad. Entitlement is simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you'd better mak..
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Mindy Kaling |
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ba75bc5
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Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before. (Okay, m..
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Mindy Kaling |
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ee22099
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I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.
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Mindy Kaling |
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f7694a5
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If it weren't for my imagination, I would weigh ten thousand pounds. This is because the only way I am able to exercise anymore is through a long and vivid revenge fantasy.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c1378a9
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I felt bad for Lulu because I've been Lulu. It's really hard when you realize the guy you've been dating is basically a high schooler at heart. It make you feel like Mary Kay Letourneau. It's the worst.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e5af7ca
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I can't for the life of me not eat something that I want to eat. You know how if you turned on a faucet in your sink to wash your hands, the idea of leaving the bathroom without turning it off is insane? That's how I am about ignoring delicious food.
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Mindy Kaling |
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490d4bc
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Why didn't you talk about whether women are funny or not? I just felt that by commenting on that in any real way, it would be tacit approval of it as a legitimate debate, which it isn't.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e0ed823
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In psychology (okay, Twilight) they teach you about the notion of imprinting, and I think it applies here. I reverse-imprinted with athleticism. Ours is the great non-love story of my life.
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Mindy Kaling |
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2fba587
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I'm not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I'm talking about commitment to things: houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Having a job that requires a contract. Paying a mortgage. I think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life.
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men-versus-boys
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Mindy Kaling |
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32d061d
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There have been times when friends have said they hooked up with someone and all it means is that they had a highly anticipated kissing session. Other times it's a full-on all-night sex-a-thon. Can't we have a universal understanding of the term, once and for all? From now on, let's all agree that hooking up = sex. Everything else is "made out." And if you're older than twenty-eight, then just kissing someone doesn't count for crap and is n..
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Mindy Kaling |
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7f6b17c
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I kind of killed it in college. You know that saying "big fish in a small pond"? At Dartmouth college, I was freakin' Jaws in a community swimming pool."
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Mindy Kaling |
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54e6062
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And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that's why you need to be a little bit brave.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c3768b7
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Who is the beauty icon that inspires you the most? Is it Sophia Loren? Audrey Hepburn? Halle Berry? Mine is Nosferatu, because that vampire taught me my number-one and number-two favorite beauty tricks of all time: avoid the sun at all costs and always try to appear shrouded in shadows.
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Mindy Kaling |