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4c97881
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Back then, we all thought Lever 2000 was the best because the number "2000" seemed so impressive. Were there 1999 formulas before they landed on this one? That sounds really well researched. I'm in!"
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Mindy Kaling |
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696547b
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Cause that's all I want. A sweet, mature, normal, loving guy, with no baggage. And who has an absolutely enormous penis.
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Mindy Kaling |
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4150be6
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I'm not one of those women who melts when a baby enters the room and immediately knows all the right age-specific questions to ask. I always assume the wrong things and offend someone. "Does he speak yet? Does what he says make sense, or is it still gurgle-babble?" Also, I'm always worried I'm going to accidentally scratch the kid with my fingernail or something. I'm the one who looks at the infant, smiles nervously, and as my contribution ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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32af9e2
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All the humiliation was worth it for the one shining moment when Amy Poehler proposed we walk a few blocks together, late at night, in New York City in 2006.
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Mindy Kaling |
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32aab32
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The Emmy announcements take place at 5:30 a.m., Pacific Standard Time, because when we are finding out the top six contenders for best miniseries, movie, or dramatic special, it's important that the whole nation watch as one. I woke up at two a.m. and drove to the Academy building in North Hollywood. Contrary to what you might think, North Hollywood is not in Hollywood, or even that close to it. It's in the Valley. Actually, North Hollywood..
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Mindy Kaling |
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73d9084
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If I can give one bit of advice to any drama major, high school theater kid, or inmate who is reading this in a prison library with dreams of being cast in he prison play, its this: write your own part. It is the only way I've gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you ave to take destiny into your own hands.
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inspiration
writing
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Mindy Kaling |
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41f2527
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If I took the nicer subway, it meant I had to go through Manhattan every morning to get there, and that took a really long time. The subway line that ran the short way was the G line, which stopped exclusively in Brooklyn and Queens. That might be the only time the word exclusive has been used to describe the G train.
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subway
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Mindy Kaling |
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93a3d21
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It's traumatizing to think that a best friend could become just a friend. That's because there's virtually no difference between an acquaintance and a friend. But the gulf between a friend and a best friend is enormous and profound.
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Mindy Kaling |
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3333da7
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There was no whimsical 'sip of wine at Thanksgiving' for us kids while we were still teenagers. This was the Clinton era, and my parents were already worried about the moral deterioration of the country.
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politics
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Mindy Kaling |
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d6e8254
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The result of my not caring so much about what I say allows me to care more about how I say it. I think it makes my writing more personal and more enjoyable. If you're reading this, you're probably a woman. Or perhaps you're a gay man getting a present for your even gayer friend. Maybe you accidentally bought this thinking it was the Malala book. However this book made its way from the "Female Humor/Brave Minority Voices/Stress-free Summer ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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c996e53
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He had some very specific notes he wanted me to address. The notes were about making sure that the character of Danny Castellano was strong and masculine. He didn't want my character to outsmart him and push him around.
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Mindy Kaling |
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ff2549f
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I have a comedy writer friend, Sandy, whose husband left her for another woman the moment his restaurant (which Sandy had invested in and made possible) became successful. It was kind of the worst story anyone had ever heard, a betrayal that, had it happened to me, I would've driven slowly around downtown Los Angeles at night in my car with my windows rolled down, trying to solicit a hit man to murder my husband.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c33ac04
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Originally, in my pilot script, I had named my character Mira. But Kevin Reilly told me to change it to Mindy.
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Mindy Kaling |
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133478b
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But for years I just chose to never do any strength training because it seemed hard. It wasn't until a particularly disturbing night when I couldn't lift myself off the sofa because of lack of upper body strength that I decided it was time to see a trainer. I
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Mindy Kaling |
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b0212f9
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In my heart, I believe that I am a passionate and intuitive cook who could make a five-course meal without even looking at a recipe. I feel I have the flash and charismatic personality of a famous chef, the fiery tenacity of Gordon Ramsay, and the soulful sexuality of Tom Colicchio. The problem is that I lack all basic skill. For instance, my dad had to come over to show me how to turn my oven on. It is sad when your hopes and your abilitie..
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Mindy Kaling |
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9157683
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Every couple of months or so, some boundary breaking article comes out in a nationally published magazine. The article makes a big thesis statement about relationships. Like say how, women don't need men anymore, or how if you're a woman over thirty-five, you should just settle with whatever guy is half-way nice to you, or how monogamy is not feasible, or plausible, or enjoyable, for any human. And we should all be swingers, or a study is r..
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honesty-quotes
humor
lifestyle
mindy-kaling
values
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Mindy Kaling |
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6f2d235
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when you're winning, it makes them feel like they're losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should've tried to do something too, but now it's too late. And since they didn't, they want to stop you. You can't let them.
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losing
winning
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Mindy Kaling |
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802393b
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This ethereal weirdo abounds in movies, but nowhere else. If she were from real life, people would think she was a homeless woman and would cross the street to avoid her, but she is essential to the male fantasy that even if a guy is boring, he deserves a woman who will find him fascinating and pull him out of himself by forcing him to go skinny-dipping in a stranger's pool. THE
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Mindy Kaling |
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c8d71fe
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FAR SIDE: We know you're on Twitter. (Leaning in conspiratorially) And if you're willing to tweet about loving Sunshine Cupcakes, this cupcake (gesturing to the one I was buying) is free. I did not know it was possible to be triple offended. First of all, Manager Woman, if you notice that a thirty-two-year-old woman is coming to your cupcake bakery every day for a week, keep that information to yourself. I don't need to be reminded of how p..
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Mindy Kaling |
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335ea4b
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But basically, either way, you can't go wrong. I look at all of you and see America's future: attorneys, corporate lawyers, public prosecutors, judges, politicians, maybe even the president of the United States. Those are all positions of great influence. Understand that one day you will have the power to make a difference. Use it well. Thank
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Mindy Kaling |
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8ce7a28
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That's what I've noticed about being 32: it is a lot of women and a lot of boys our age.
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relationships
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Mindy Kaling |
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9c56181
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You take your mentoring where you can find it, even if it's not being offered to you.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e4ead2b
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Full-on All-Night Sex-a-thon is also the name of my debut hip-hop album.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e19b47f
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In my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you're wanted. The slightly nervous asking of your phone number. The text message asking you to dinner. The simple overture of wanting me can satisfy my ego for a good long time.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e399da2
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In my late twenties, when I moved to Los Angeles and all my friends seemed to spread out around the country, I would tell myself, Once I am on hiatus from the show, I will visit them and everything will be the same. But the hiatus would come and go, and a movie role or rewrite job would keep me in L.A. Until I realized: this long expanse of free time to rekindle friendships is not real. We will never come home to each other again and we wil..
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Mindy Kaling |
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a95938a
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Luckily, I was not born a white man.1 I was born a socially anxious Indian woman.
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Mindy Kaling |
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f66e7b7
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The person above is the creation of a handful of talented people whose job it is to make me look good. I'm of course talking about the hair, makeup, costume, lighting, spackling, and hoisting departments. They all work hard, so all I have to do is show up in my sweatpants and zit cream and say the magic words: "Make me look gorgeous or you're fired." I'm just kidding! I don't do that. In fact, I don't have to do anything. That's why I'm a s..
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Mindy Kaling |
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3237685
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This wretched little magazine article has helped convince more open-minded liberal arts graduates that the nuclear family doesn't exist without some hideous twist, like the dad is allowed to go to an S&M dungeon once a week or something. It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship.
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Mindy Kaling |
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1910576
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I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c237423
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No, that is boring. If people want to see medical stuff they should watch ER.
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Mindy Kaling |
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50de07b
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I skipped out of the Fox lot, threw my Keds back on, resisted the temptation to go over to the Simpsons building and take selfies with the Bart Simpson topiary,
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Mindy Kaling |
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9c5666d
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That's because my show is on a major network and you can't show all that stuff, and also because my dad is alive and I would like to have lunch with him without feeling mired in dishonor.
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Mindy Kaling |
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dbc08f1
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I also did that thing that corrupt politicians do where I hired all my friends to work with me, so that's very nice as well. I like to think of myself as the Rod Blagojevich of television.
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Mindy Kaling |
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a0ae230
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depression is something that I've come to accept from my creative community and I realize that's probably alien to most people. I don't know why the funniest people I know are also depressed.
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Mindy Kaling |
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5966923
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Years later I realized that the way I had felt during those first few months was correct. I didn't deserve to be confident yet. I happen to believe that no one inherently deserves anything, except basic human rights, and not to have to watch an ad before you watch a trailer on YouTube. So
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Mindy Kaling |
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9784f84
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It's just that, the truth is, I have never, ever, ever met a highly confident and successful person who is not what a movie would call a "workaholic." We can't have it both ways, and children should know that. Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. THE"
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Mindy Kaling |
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c2a9e3a
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But it's not that I think I'm so great. I just don't hate myself. I do idiotic things all the time and I say crazy stuff I regret, but I don't let everything traumatize me. And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that's why you need to be a little bit brave. People
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Mindy Kaling |
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c786b62
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Which is why you need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you're failing. It calms them. That's why the show Intervention is a hit and everyone loves "worrying about" Amanda Bynes. But when you're winning, it makes them feel like they're losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should've tried to do something too, but now it's..
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Mindy Kaling |
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9f79d8d
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If my childhood, teens, and twenties were about wanting people to like me, now I want people to know me. So,
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Mindy Kaling |
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dfd7a0e
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Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic. The
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Mindy Kaling |
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e3d642f
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Sometimes a story just needs an ending, and I used to not be a creative enough person to think of an ending to a romantic story that isn't a wedding or a death. This story didn't end in fireworks, because the truth is, fireworks are something from my twenties. I could have made fireworks, but I chose to make a nuanced memory of a person who is neither a hero nor a villain in my life. All I had to do now was move on. In the words of both Mar..
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Mindy Kaling |
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172d50b
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People get
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Mindy Kaling |
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e5a4471
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I also became familiar with an entirely new category of people: the unhappily married person. They are everywhere, and they are ten thousand times more depressing than a divorced person. My friend Tim, whose name I've changed, obviously, has gotten more and more depressing since he married his girlfriend of seven years. Tim is the kind of guy who corners you at a party to tell you, vehemently, that And that you have to . And that going t..
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marriage
romance
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Mindy Kaling |
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951ff96
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I might even know more divorced people than married people, because I live in godless Los Angeles, where if you're engaged it simply means you're publicly announcing that you are dating a person monogamishly. I
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Mindy Kaling |