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2401f0d
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Future hipsters will love me ironically.
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Mindy Kaling |
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1e0b573
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One good thing about New York is that most people function daily while in a low-grade depression. It's not like if you're in Los Angeles, where everyone's so actively working on cheerfulness and mental and physical health that if they sense you're down, they shun you. Also, all that sunshine is a cruel joke when you're depressed. In New York, even in your misery, you feel like you belong.
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depression
mindy-kaling
cheerfulness
los-angeles
misery
new-york
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Mindy Kaling |
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4cdf6fe
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STEVE CARELL IS NICE BUT IT IS SCARY It has been said many times, but it is true: Steve Carell is a very nice guy. His niceness manifests itself mostly in the fact that he never complains. You could screw up a handful of takes outside in 104-degree smog-choked Panorama City heat, and Steve Carell's final words before collapsing of heat stroke would be a friendly and hopeful "Hey, you think you have that shot yet?" I've always found Steve ..
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niceness
steve-carell
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Mindy Kaling |
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c198b1e
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Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled.
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Mindy Kaling |
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f23e172
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I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.
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irony
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Mindy Kaling |
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854dc6a
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I'm not complaining about Romance Being Dead - I've just described a happy marriage as based on talking about plants and a canceled Ray Romano show and drinking milkshakes: not exactly rose petals and gazing into each other's eyes at the top of the Empire State Building or whatever. I'm pretty sure my parents have gazed into each other's eyes maybe once, and that was so my mom could put eyedrops in my dad's eyes.
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Mindy Kaling |
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236152f
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As I got older, I got craftier and less obvious, but I've always put a lot of energy and effort into people liking me. That's why I've never understood the compliment "effortless." People love to say: "She just walked into the party, charming people with her effortless beauty." I don't understand that at all. What's so wrong with effort, anyway? It means you care. What about the girl who "walked into the party, her determination to please a..
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Mindy Kaling |
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a006ab9
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My mom's a doctor, but because she came from India and then Africa, where childhood obesity was not a problem, she put no premium on having skinny kids. In fact, she and my dad didn't mind having a chubby daughter. Part of me wonders if it even made them feel a little prosperous, like
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Mindy Kaling |
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2175d53
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I am the kind of person who, if my feelings are unrequited, can completely detach from someone emotionally if I simply put my mind to it.
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feelings
willpower
emotions
will
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Mindy Kaling |
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7716c1e
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Albums that remind me of my childhood happiness make me incredibly sad now.
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Mindy Kaling |
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4078381
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What's so wrong with effort, anyway? It means you care.
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Mindy Kaling |
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0beff48
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I wish there was a song called "Nguyen and Ari," a little ditty about a hardworking Vietnamese girl who helps her parents withthe franchised Holiday Inn they run, and does homework in thelobby, and Ari, a hardworking Jewish boy who does volunteerwork at his grandmother's old-age home, and they meet afterschool at Princeton Review. They help each other study for theSATs and different AP courses, and then, after months of study-ing, and mount..
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Mindy Kaling |
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d39fca6
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Ultimately, the main reasons why I will be chubby for life are (1) I have virtually no hobbies except dieting. I can't speak any non-English languages, knit, ski, scrapbook, or cook. I have no pets. I don't know how to do drugs. I lost my passport three years ago when I moved into my house and never got it renewed. Video games scare me because they all seem to simulate situations I'd hate to be in, like war or stealing cars. So if I ever lo..
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Mindy Kaling |
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87c39b8
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If I gave my mother a knitted scarf she'd be worried I was wasting my time doing stupid stuff like knitting instead of school work. Presenting a homemade knitted object to my parents was actually like handing them a detailed backlog of my idleness.
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Mindy Kaling |
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a264c72
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I didn't completely forget how to be nice or feminine because I have a career.
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Mindy Kaling |
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f8460d5
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Haley and I would talk for hours about which member of 'N Sync we'd want to marry. After long deliberation, the answer was always J. C. Chasez. Joey Fatone's last name was going to be "Fat One" no matter how great he was, and even though they didn't know at their age that Lance Bass was gay outright, they sensed he'd make a better good friend and confidante. As for Justin Timberlake, well, JT was the coolest and hottest, but too flashy, so ..
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humor
life
ideal-man
jc-chasez
jt
n-sync
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Mindy Kaling |
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0d7a9e9
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It was through eavesdropping that I learned that you could buy fresh peanut butter at Whole Foods from a machine that . I had wasted so much of my life eating stupid old, already-ground peanut butter. So, yeah, I highly recommend a little nosiness once in a while.
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Mindy Kaling |
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5272b58
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I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed.
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Mindy Kaling |
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21f0326
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You might also see that some of my playlists are simply two songs on repeat fifteen times, like I'm a psycho getting pumped up to murder the president.
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Mindy Kaling |
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9cdf880
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My version of an Irish exit has an air of deception to it, because it includes my asking loudly, "Where's the bathroom?" and making theatrical looking-around gestures like a lost foreign tourist. But then, instead of finding the bathroom, I sneakily grab my coat and leave."
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Mindy Kaling |
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97afa66
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I initially thought you were ugly, but then you walked closer to me and I realized you were pretty.
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Mindy Kaling |
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43a506e
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IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED, I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU As everyone knows, depressed people are some of the most boring people in the world. I know this because when I was depressed, people fled. Except my best friends. I will be there for you during your horrible break-up, or getting fired from your job, or if you're just having a bad couple of months or year. I will hate it and find you really tedious, but I promise I won't abandon you.
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Mindy Kaling |
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838f284
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I'm the one who looks at the infant, smiles nervously, and as my contribution to small talk, robotically announces to the parent, "Your child looks healthy and well cared for."
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Mindy Kaling |
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c1aeb7b
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In the Shakespearean comedies, the wedding is the end, and there isn't much indication of what happily ever after will look like day to day. In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty y..
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Mindy Kaling |
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09c117d
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That's the one nice thing about being a dork about men: you can sometimes play it off as restrained and classy.
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Mindy Kaling |
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37a9a10
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Playful arguments would become fits of uncontrollable laughter, and, like magic, that experience would be crystallized into a private joke, and the private joke would get boiled down to a simple phrase, which became a souvenir of the entire experience. For years to come, the phrase alone could uncork hours of renewed laughter. And as everyone knows, the best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.
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Mindy Kaling |
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204a324
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I will miss her dearly, and I hope that she is up in heaven right now watching us and smiling, even though deep down I know that if there is an afterlife, she's a pretty much open-and-shut case for hell.
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Mindy Kaling |
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1365cce
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Asking your friend to be a bridesmaid is one of the modern paradoxes: no one actually wants to do it, but everyone would be offended if you didn't ask.
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Mindy Kaling |
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cd9d552
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With my friends, the sad truth is that our best "best friend" days are behind us. In college, we used to be able to meet each other in the common area of our off-campus housing, excited about our evening ahead, which consisted of someone making an enormous tureen of pasta and drinking wine from a box while we took turns regaling each other with details of our terrible love lives."
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Mindy Kaling |
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41f72b7
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I can't for the life of me not eat something that I want to eat.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c86fd26
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There are not many relationships more powerful than that of two women who fall fast and deep into a friendship. It was heartbreaking to be loved and left.
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Mindy Kaling |
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964513f
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1) There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. (2) I would like to be friends with Beyonce Knowles.
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Mindy Kaling |
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fce32ea
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What? I have a cold. Don't get a look of terror on your face. The worst that could happen is that you'll get a cold, too. You don't have to theatrically Purell a thousand times a day and look all panicky every time I come into the room.
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Mindy Kaling |
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b382db9
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Sometimes a story just needs an ending, and I used to not be a creative enough person to think of an ending to a romantic story that isn't a wedding or a death. This story didn't end in fireworks, because the truth is, fireworks are something from my twenties. I could have made fireworks, but I chose to make a nuanced memory of a person who is neither a hero nor a villain in my life. All I had to do now was move on.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c756aaf
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Soul mates" is what you aim for, but soup snakes is what you get sometimes."
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Mindy Kaling |
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1a4676c
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To put it kindly, I am a very talkative, social person. To put it less kindly, I'm a flibbertigibbet, which is what my frenemy Rainn Wilson calls me.
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Mindy Kaling |
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03526d5
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People don't say "Give me your honest opinion" because they want an honest opinion. They say it because it's rude to say "Please tell me I'm amazing."
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Mindy Kaling |
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91dcad4
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In high school, I had fun in my academic clubs, watching movies with my girlfriends, learning Latin, having long, protracted, unrequited crushes on older guys who didn't know me, and yes, hanging out with my family. I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that's it.
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Mindy Kaling |
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d89acdc
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One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about. We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don't have to make it official. It just is.
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Mindy Kaling |
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ec33eb3
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I believe the potluck tradition of entertaining is the equivalent of a teenage boy wanting to have sex with his girlfriend but who is too scared to go to CVS to buy condoms. If you can't handle providing all the courses for your dinner party, you can't handle the hosting duties of a dinner party.
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Mindy Kaling |
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33226cc
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Bribes and boy bands. That's all you need to be a babysitter.
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Mindy Kaling |
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4d82d13
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Besides, who wants to read about success, anyway? Successful serial murderers, maybe.
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Mindy Kaling |
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d78fa94
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If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c366f00
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Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys bring a knapsack to work. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who "totally knows how to cut hair." Boys can pack up their whole life in a duffel bag and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have "gigs." Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival. Boys don't know how to adjust their conversa..
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Mindy Kaling |