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056ef2c
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I don't wake up in the morning, look at my naked body in the mirror, and say, "Good morning, body. Once again, you've nailed it, you gorgeous imperfect thing. That wobbly patch of cellulite? A miracle. Each stretch mark? A Picasso. Holy crap, I look good! Who can I sext? Somebody else has got to see this!" --
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Mindy Kaling |
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58aa73a
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I also began to have a pretty disturbing attitude toward eating. I developed a real superiority complex to people who ate actual food. I realized that this is how fashion editors at women's magazines must feel all the time. Oh God, look at those sad piggos, munching away on their sandwiches. I'd just sit there, sipping my kale juice, quietly judging everyone as they happily ate their lunches. And
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Mindy Kaling |
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26cc8f6
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But my secret is: even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don't wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things. I will leave you with one last piece of advice, which is: If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it? And that, my friends, sha..
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Mindy Kaling |
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efe7e90
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Lots of stupid people were skinny, and yet I couldn't do this incredibly simple thing they could do with seeming ease.
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Mindy Kaling |
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7daee32
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Every kid wants approval, but my desire to be well liked was central to my personality.
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Mindy Kaling |
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b4e6e15
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This photo is more significant because it is a rare time where my head looks normal size. I have enormous head, so it is important to me to have a few flattering, head-minimizing photos.
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Mindy Kaling |
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b88f6ef
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The truth is, it's hard to get people to like you, but it's even harder to keep people liking you. You
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Mindy Kaling |
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787c5ef
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EVERYONE KNOWS THAT all white people are racist. And
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Mindy Kaling |
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7bb27ad
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When Your Boyfriend Fits into Your Jeans and Other Atrocities The
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Mindy Kaling |
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d353421
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confidence is like respect; you have to earn it.
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Mindy Kaling |
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df16a8a
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There is no difference between Ripley from Alien and any Katherine Heigl character.
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Mindy Kaling |
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b2040ee
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If you can't handle providing all the courses for your dinner party, you can't handle the hosting duties of a dinner party.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e0e9e8c
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I never think environmental hazards are going to kill me. I only think serial killers are.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e99f856
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And this actress, this poor skinny actress who so clearly lost weight to play the likable lead, has to say things like 'shut up you guys! I love cheesecake! If I want to eat an entire cheesecake, I will!' If you look closely, you can see this woman's ribs through the dress she's wearing--that's how skinny she is, this cheesecake-loving cow.
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Mindy Kaling |
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a6e39dc
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I do not need to hear people tearing into Lisa Lampanelli for liking to have sex only with black men. I'm sad that this is her famous running gag. I'm sad that I now know this. I'm sad that a legitimate rung on the ladder of making it in comedy is writing hateful stuff about total strangers. I don't know.
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Mindy Kaling |
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a58f21c
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Unlike other athletes, Frisbee people won't let it go. My theory is that this is because there's a huge overlap between people who are good at Frisbee and people who do Teach for America. The same instinct to make at-risk kids learn, which I admire so much, becomes deadly when turned on friends trying to relax on a Sunday afternoon in the park.
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Mindy Kaling |
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1843225
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I am so accustomed to the young mom phenomenon, that when I saw the poster for The Proposal I wondered for a second if the proposal in the movie was Ryan Reynolds suggesting he send his mother, Sandra Bullock, to an old-age home.
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Mindy Kaling |
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5e4b992
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I love you, Mindy! Mindy, look at me, believe me!" "I don't? "Why????" "Because you love me until you don't."
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Mindy Kaling |
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fb3e393
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One stipulation to my borrowing your clothes is that you have to have worn the item at least once before I borrow it. I'm not a monster.
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Mindy Kaling |
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363df60
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I was just a friendly thirty-four-year-old TV actress looking for a boyfriend who didn't have a neck tattoo.
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Mindy Kaling |
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e049f7a
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We clung to each other with blind loyalty, like Lord Voldemort and his snake, Nagini.
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Mindy Kaling |
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dab34e9
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One of the unexpected and wonderfully fair things I have learned in my career is that if Hollywood were filled just with perfect-looking people, then soap operas would be the most-watched things in the world. But they're not. Looks are great, but they're not compelling enough. I've noticed that successful actors with long careers are usually talented actors with charismatic screen presences, and all of them exude one thing: confidence.
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hollywood
inspirational
success
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Mindy Kaling |
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b09fba2
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I always wanted the reboot of Ghostbusters to be four girl-ghostbusters.
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Mindy Kaling |
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fe3bc7f
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we, as consumers, are not completely satisfied with our scrutiny of women's appearances in TV and film. We also find it enjoyable to pit women against each other in fashion Hunger Games.
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Mindy Kaling |
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c46548c
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Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn't conversation. It'll never lead anywhere.
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Mindy Kaling |
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7bd4a6c
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which I would write on Sunday afternoons sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor with no pants on.
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Mindy Kaling |
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2b79f6e
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I will leave you with one last piece of advice, which is: If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it? And that, my friends, shall go on my tombstone.
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Mindy Kaling |
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611a4e1
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you need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you are failing. It calms them. That's why the show Intervention is a hit and everyone loves "worrying about" Amanda Bynes."
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pop-culture
women
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Mindy Kaling |
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f0d9ac2
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I didn't want to be Regis or Kathie Lee, because their chairs were too high. I'm sorry, I'm supposed to sit like that for an hour? Too much blood rushing to my ankles. No, thanks.
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Mindy Kaling |
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3aa3a44
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I bought this wand, the Tria Acne Clearing Blue Light, from my dermatologist's office. At one point I was spending so much time with the device that I started calling him Wall-E.
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Mindy Kaling |
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090a5db
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But it took me twelve weeks to realize that I don't really like organizations where people are "deemed" things. I should mention that I did learn a few undeniably useful things at my sorority,"
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Mindy Kaling |
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5d9c20e
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Doug appeared, clad in an Affliction waffle-knit tee and True Religion jeans. It was 2006, so this was a sign of great success.
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Mindy Kaling |
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0a6ee86
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Note: if you want to seem like a super-creepy person, be an adult, by yourself, taking photos of children and people on a beach.
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Mindy Kaling |
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626a2f6
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Remember, this was back in the '90s, before the only way to be a cool teenager was to have a baby or a reality show (or both).
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Mindy Kaling |
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6378449
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For some reason, I immediately thought about how my parents had always been especially fond of Mavis, and here was this moment when I understood exactly why: she was a good person. It felt so good to realize how smart my parents had been all along.
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Mindy Kaling |
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65c200b
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We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don't have to make it official. It just is.
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Mindy Kaling |
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b42a456
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If Europe could figure out a way to do the euro, I feel confident we can do this.
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Mindy Kaling |
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53a4027
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The point is, it only traumatized me because I had the time to be traumatized. I want to be so famous and busy that I only ever find these insults amusing, and chuckle at them good-naturedly before I get on my private jet to be a UN Ambassador to Cameroon, or wherever.
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troll
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Mindy Kaling |
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10a8542
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The reason I pull Irish exits is not because I think I'm too busy and cool to be bothered with pleasantries. It's that when there is a gathering of more than thirty people I don't want to waste your time with hellos and good-byes. I think it's actually the more polite thing to do, because I'm not coercing partygoers into some big farewell moment with me.
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Mindy Kaling |
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9283900
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Sports movies had brainwashed me into the belief that when the chips are down the most, that is when success is the most inevitable.
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Mindy Kaling |
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819e59c
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No one ever wants to hear about how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn't a conversation. It'll never lead anywhere.
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Mindy Kaling |
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02d1321
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In my entire life, I never once heard either of my parents say they were stressed. That was just not a phrase I grew up being allowed to say. That, and the concept of "Me time"."
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india
indian-culture
parenting
stress
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Mindy Kaling |
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b86e24e
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Write your own part. It's the only way I've ever gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and nobody can stop you.
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women
writing
writing-process
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Mindy Kaling |
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a4fed29
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I am slightly offended by the way busy working women my age are presented in film. I'm not, like, always barking orders into my hands-free phone device and telling people constantly, "I have no time for this!" I didn't completely forget how to be nice and feminine because I have a career."
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film-industry
movies
women
women-in-film
working-women
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Mindy Kaling |