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b7147ce
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Haters are just more people paying attention to you. (P.21)
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Mindy Kaling |
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c21f1aa
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There is a certain type of greasy hair that you get only when you are writing with no breaks.
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writing
writing-life
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Mindy Kaling |
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22aea99
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And as everyone knows, the best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.
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Mindy Kaling |
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34181f8
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It felt to me like I was making more of an effort than he was, and when I sensed that, I pulled back, not returning his calls or texts because I felt hurt. But none of that mattered, because I knew the truth, which is if someone really wants to see you, they always find a way. Always. That hurt my heart, but I realized, unlike in past relationships when I was younger, it didn't need to be dramatic. Will and I didn't know each other that wel..
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Mindy Kaling |
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8c8f85e
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We will never come home to each other again and we will never again have each other's undivided attention. That version of our friendship is over forever.
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Mindy Kaling |
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2796134
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WHAT I'M ASKING for is not that much. I just want a boyfriend who is sweet and trustworthy. That's it. He doesn't need to have a perfect body or look like George Clooney. I want a guy who wants to curl up on a Friday night and watch Netflix. He can even pick the show. I mean, ideally, it's serialized and female-driven, and maybe not that boring political one. But honestly, I don't care. It's not important.
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Mindy Kaling |
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7b9629e
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But when you're winning, it makes them feel like they're losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should've tried to do something too, but now it's too late. And since they didn't, they want to stop you. You can't let them.
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Mindy Kaling |
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834c44b
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The reason I pull Irish exits is not because I think I'm too busy and cool to be bothered with pleasantries. It's that when there is a gathering of more than thirty people I don't want to waste your time with hellos and good-byes. I think it's actually the more polite thing to do, because I'm not coercing partygoers into some big farewell moment with me. Then other people feel like they have to stop what they're doing and hug me, too. It's ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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f35dbd2
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My guest to dinner was my best friend, Jocelyn, who had taken the train down from New York. We forewent seeing any DC museums or national monuments to order cheeseburgers and watch Will & Grace in bed at our hotel, because we are real best friends, not lame fake friends trying to impress each other with how fascinated we are with culture and learning.
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Mindy Kaling |
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a04f284
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Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. (P.220)
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Mindy Kaling |
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1c09248
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It's traumatizing to think that a best friend could become just a friend. That's because there is virtually no difference between an acquaintance and a friend. But the gulf between a friend and a best friend is enormous and profound.
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Mindy Kaling |
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11e50e8
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If you believe in yourself and work hard, you have a fighting shot at having your dreams come true.
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Mindy Kaling |
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67af9ba
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For lunch I usually have something hearty like a burger or tacos. I have always believed lunch should be the biggest meal of the day. People who say breakfast should be the biggest meal are insane. You can't have dessert at breakfast.
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Mindy Kaling |
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ba4e76a
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With no music to listen to, I just biked around in circles talking to myself like a kid on the cover of a Robert Cormier young adult novel, circling around puzzled Jewish families walking back to their cars. This is how I learned to ride a bike.
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Mindy Kaling |
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50cb25b
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A note about me: I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn't conversation. It'll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, "Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake..
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Mindy Kaling |
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9597694
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I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up. So many people I work with--famous actors, accomplished writers--were overlooked in high school. Be like Allan Pearl. Sit next to the class clown and study him. Then grow up, take everything you learned, and get paid to be a real-life clown, unlike whatever ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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531740d
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As a kid, I was curious but not remotely adventurous, if that makes sense.
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Mindy Kaling |
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a0075c5
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No food is as delicious as food you eat standing a foot away from a trash can. Ask any possum. THE
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Mindy Kaling |
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1136512
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The Skinny Woman Who Is Beautiful and Toned but Also Gluttonous and Disgusting Again, I am more than willing to suspend my disbelief for good set decoration alone. One pristine kitchen from a Nancy Meyers movie like "It's Complicated" compensates for five scenes of Diane Keaton being caught half naked in a topiary. But I can't suspend disbelief enough, for instance, if the gorgeous and skinny heroine is also a ravenous pig when it comes to ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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c3886ba
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The truth is, if I were going to lose weight successfully, I would have to think about what I eat constantly. I cannot imagine a life more boring and a more time-consuming obsession than being preoccupied with watching what I eat. I mean, maybe being in a coma would be more boring, but at least then you're free to dream about all of your favorite foods. And the fact of the matter is, I don't have that much brain space to use thinking about ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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de0ac8e
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It was October 2001 and I lived in New York City. I was twenty-two. I, like many of my female friends, suffered from a strange combination of post-9/11 anxiety and height-of-Sex-and-the-City anxiety. They are distinct and unnerving anxieties. The questions that ran through my mind went something like this: Should I keep a gas mask in my kitchen? Am I supposed to be able to afford Manolo Blahnik shoes? What is Barneys New York? You're trying..
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Mindy Kaling |
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af4abf6
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It wasn't even one of those stoic pimples that goes quietly when you pop it; this one was cystic and painful and had roots that seemed to extend into my brain.
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Mindy Kaling |
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b7ac8e4
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I think that's the lesson of this story: you never know what is going to happen. Other lessons: * No matter how good you have it, it's cool to want more. * Self-pity gets results. * Sometimes you can get a second chance. * Sometimes you get a third chance. * Never take a vacation. * Austin Mahone has a bright future as a singer and youth-brand spokesperson. * It's OK to drink tequila in the car if you just had a really good meeting. ..
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Mindy Kaling |
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30c1fa4
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10. I will never have a husband and all my female acquaintances will. 11. I WILL have a husband and he will be like my female acquaintances' husbands.
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Mindy Kaling |
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999c0bb
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It sounds odd, but cheerful is very hard to find in Los Angeles. I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.
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Mindy Kaling |
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102d698
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Just bear a passing resemblance to a fictional romantic trope I like and I will love you forever. We're all just trying to find the Mark Darcy of our workplace, aren't we?
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love
relationships
soulmates
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Mindy Kaling |
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3d9513b
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I don't read them; I just hit "accept." iTunes may own my ovaries, for all I know."
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terms-and-conditions
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Mindy Kaling |
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8470803
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If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?
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self
self-esteem
self-improvement
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Mindy Kaling |
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d7b473d
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Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me.
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Mindy Kaling |
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8d47a16
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Is soap cool again, or is body wash still the way to go?
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Mindy Kaling |
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51bc1ad
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I want you to picture me as a cute little anime character that popped out from behind a mushroom or something and landed in Hollywood.
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Mindy Kaling |
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bedf990
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A not 100-percent-perfect-looking-in-every-way female? You might as well film a dead squid decaying on a beach somewhere for two hours.
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Mindy Kaling |
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bf0f526
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Your girlfriend's sibling or parents might be totally nuts, but always defend them. Always. All a girl wants to do is to get along with her family and if you are on the side of making it easy, you will be loved eternally. It might be easier to condemn them - especially if she's doing that already - but, remarkably, even if they are murderers, she will find the good in them, especially if you start trashing them.
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girlfriend
in-laws
parents
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Mindy Kaling |
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e1485de
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Teenage girls, please don't worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I've..
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high-school
mindy-kaling
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Mindy Kaling |
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e88082c
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When you are entitled, you are the most insufferable person ever. If you are entitled and hardworking, which I am, you are still pretty insufferable, but at least you somewhat earned your entitled behavior.
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Mindy Kaling |
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2641fab
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I was surprised she'd heard us. When you're that low on the totem pole, you sometimes think you're so unimportant that no one can hear you. My sense of invisibility had made me loose-lipped.
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social-invisibility
unimportant
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Mindy Kaling |
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bd47f7c
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I guess the lesson is that if you're going to punch someone in the face, your best bet is to punch your best friend.
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Mindy Kaling |
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76fdc6f
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I think it's a federal crime parking meters won't accept pennies. Yeah, government, we know pennies suck. But you made them! You have to accept them! Parking meters are literally one of the three things anyone uses coins for and you decide you don't want to deal with them?
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Mindy Kaling |
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14a4939
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And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that is why you need to be a little bit brave.
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Mindy Kaling |
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506dc70
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Chubby: A regular-size person who could lose a few, for whom you feel affection. Chubster: An overweight, adorable child. That kid from Two and a Half Men for the first couple of years. Fatso: An antiquated term, really. In the 1970s, mean sorority girls would call a pledge this. Probably most often used on people who aren't even really fat, but who fear being fat. Fatass: Not usually used to describe weight, actually. This deceptive term i..
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Mindy Kaling |
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50d2f7b
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They say the best revenge is living well. I say it's acid in the face -- who will love them now?
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Mindy Kaling |
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82b03a6
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Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.
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Mindy Kaling |
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94f37d5
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I guess I'm the kind of person who likes to be part of something so much that I won't care if the something is bad.
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Mindy Kaling |
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d52ac86
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But I'm the kind of person who actually likes feeling a little bit out of place. Aspirational is how I feel comfortable.
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Mindy Kaling |