|
7c2955a
|
I cannot imagine a life more boring and a more time-consuming obsession than being preoccupied with watching what I eat. I
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
bdf95a7
|
I am a confident writer, a hothead, and have a very thin skin for any criticism. This charming combination of personality traits makes me an argument machine on our staff.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
288a182
|
a honeymoon is, after all, a sex vacation you're giving yourself after a massive party in your honor.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
9561be9
|
It's traumatizing to think that a best friend could become just a friend. That's because there is virtually no difference between an acquaintance and a friend. But the gulf between a friend and a best friend is enormous and profound. And
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
c3dd688
|
Hugh was in prime Jackman when he played smoldering Van Helsing.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
ffe2a2c
|
My family's dreams about a future unfettered by the limitations imposed by "who you know" and dependent only on "what you know" was possible only in this beautiful land. Their"
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
e74ebbe
|
If you believe in yourself and work hard, your dreams will come true
|
|
dreams
work
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
036ec57
|
we loved reenacting what we saw. The Church Lady's catchphrases were our catchphrases, and we repeated them until my mother said, exasperated: "Please stop saying 'Isn't that special?' in that strange voice. It is annoying to me and to others." At"
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
ab1d809
|
If you have never seen a flight attendant praying, I hope you never do, because it is one the scariest things in the whole world. Scarier
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
d28b865
|
That was the moment when I realized how cool my life is. I was trying to hit on a guy and was being interrupted by the president of the United States.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
e0ae4b1
|
Hard work is such a weird thing. As children and teenagers you are told it's a really good thing, but for adults it suddenly becomes the worst thing in the world.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
b624301
|
Throwing a tantrum feels good because you think you are ruining everyone's good time when you feel your very worst. But the truth is, you're not ruining their good time, you're just giving them another good story. I
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
8a92d08
|
I think I love the scene because it reflects how love works. "Soul mates" is what you aim for, but soup snakes is what you get sometimes."
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
98642cc
|
We have to help our girls and teach them to be confident.' Well, guess what, young girls. You aren't damsels in distress. You aren't hostages to words of your peers. You aren't the victims that even your well-meaning teachers and advocates think you are.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
d2610da
|
I don't really like organizations where people are "deemed" things." --
|
|
institutionalism
organizational-culture
sociology
sororities
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
6f3d0ca
|
I like to think of myself as the Rod Blagojevich of television.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
670b9b8
|
Network executives usually have bad taste. It's either just a reflection of what market research tells them that normal people are into, or whatever their adolescent children are obsessed with. I have so often been on the receiving end of whatever powerful network executive's children are watching that week. That
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
f014ccd
|
Later, when she got sick, B.J. came to Boston to visit her in the hospital, and he did something I will always be profoundly grateful for. He did for her what he had done for me when I was a nervous, homesick, heartbroken New York transplant hired on my first writing job on season 1 of The Office. He made her laugh. And that is why B.J. and I are soul mates, and the reason is ... because in terms of the soul, we like to ... That doesn't mak..
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
1128a73
|
I can't for the life of me not eat something that I want to eat. You know how if you turned on a faucet in your sink to wash your hands, the idea of leaving the bathroom without turning it off is insane? That's how I am about ignoring delicious food
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
0687e94
|
One very gratifying compliment I sometimes hear is that women want to be my best friend. This endlessly amuses my actual best friend, Jocelyn, because in her estimation I'm 'a good friend, but not that great.
|
|
humor
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
2d9e327
|
If you believe in yourself and work hard, your dreams will come true. * Well ... I guess the people who work hard whose dreams don't come true don't get to write books about it, so we never really find out what happens to them. So ... * If you believe in yourself and work hard, you have a fighting shot at having your dreams come true.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
385b45b
|
But none of that mattered, because I knew the truth, which is if someone really wants to see you, they always find a way. Always. That
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
0eb527e
|
The truth is, it's hard to get people to like you, but it's even harder to keep people liking you. You'd have to bring in Skittles every single day. The
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
724906e
|
Cinch together the whole look with a wide belt" was a very popular style in the early 2000s, which we believed accentuated our curves but in reality made a generation of women look like we were wearing lumbar support braces."
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
b529a09
|
Kevin's always saying things like "You've got a real deep bench, now, kid." Or "You gotta keep your eye on the ball, and you're going to push it over the goal line." And I have no idea what he is talking about, but I nod enthusiastically and say, "Sure, of course, sports," and hope he doesn't ask any follow-up questions."
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
4cae86a
|
If you got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it, flaunt it.
|
|
life
truth
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
83eee35
|
Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine. Now, excuse me, I need to lie down and watch Sheldon.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
9781e4b
|
My mother passed away in 2011. She was a warm and sociable person, but she did not suffer fools. In fact, that policy extended beyond fools. She did not suffer lazy people, pretentious people, liars, the sloppy, or the inarticulate. Basically she suffered very few people, and it was hard to earn her respect. But
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
3e2eec4
|
I've attended some pretty glamorous events over the years, like the Costume Ball at the Met, the Golden Globes, and the Vanity Fair Oscar party. They are usually held at distinguished cultural institutions like the Met or the Annenberg Center--always beautiful spaces that are home to priceless works of art. The first thing they do when a Hollywood party rents out the place is push all the art to the corner so it doesn't get in the way. They..
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
199f372
|
Eleven years into this, I am able to sleep through any amount of noise and temperature. Sometimes I wake up and hope I slept through a Walking Dead-type zombie apocalypse and I have to lead humans into a new world order.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
64d553c
|
Every winter, the Latin Club celebrated Saturnalia ... We wore togas ... and wreaths made out of pipe cleaners, and we had a feast of whole roast chickens and carbonated grape juice, which we ate with our hands, like the Romans. We toasted each other by saying "Io Saturnalia!" and pretended to be drunk emperors in the teachers' multipurpose room. You know, just the typical stuff you do when you are really cool in high school."
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
45b9c57
|
Jocelyn is willowy and half-Asian, and while fitting the bill technically for a model, has no interest in modeling. She's just that cool. Me, on the other hand, whenever I lose, like, five pounds, I basically start considering if I should "try out" modeling."
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
66f6db3
|
In my line of work, every man wears exactly one outfit: khakis, a Late Night with Jimmy Fallon T-shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt. If you don't wear that, people think you are a Scientologist and no one will eat lunch with you.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
29b8d07
|
As it is, I guess I find "Jack & Diane" a little disgusting. As a child of immigrant professionals, I can't help but notice the wasteful frivolity of it all." --
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
53340e2
|
Anyone who knows me even slightly will recognize how unusual that is, since I am notorious for making impassioned speeches about things nobody cares about. Like, I think it's a federal crime parking meters won't accept pennies. Yeah, government, we know pennies suck. But you made them! You have to accept them! Parking meters are literally one of the three things anyone uses coins for and you decide you don't want to deal with them? OK, I to..
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
b31dffc
|
However, you should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it's acid in the face--who will love them now? Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away. Push, shove, scratch that person while they're still within arm's reach. Don't let ..
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
3c086ef
|
one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
2b95bbf
|
Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
83fe471
|
Not getting Lasik at this point is like being that girl in 2006 who didn't have a cell phone.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
be611a1
|
What I didn't need was some hot-and-cold long-distance flake wasting my time. It hurt my feelings and made me feel like something was wrong with me.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
e93d76c
|
In the genre of "making you feel like you're not having an awesome American high school experience," the worst offender is actually a song: John Cougar Mellencamp's "Jack & Diane." It's one of those songs--like Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven"--that everyone knows all the words to without ever having chosen to learn them."
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
8cfed23
|
Then we'd leave and have our regular dinners at our respective homes. Obviously, the waiters loathed us. In a way we were worse than the dine-and-dashers because at least the dine-and-dashers only hit up Cheesecake Factory once and never showed up again. We, on the other hand, thought we were beloved regulars and that people lit up when we walked in. We're back, Cheesecake Factory! JLMP's back! Your favorite cool, young people here to jazz ..
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
a83a7ec
|
This story didn't end in fireworks, because the truth is, fireworks are something from my twenties. I could have made fireworks, but I chose to make a nuanced memory of a person who is neither a hero nor a villain in my life.
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |
|
a047355
|
Anyone who comes to visit the set of The Office always says the same thing when they leave: "Holy crap, that was scary!" This is because we shoot at the end of a dead-end street on an industrial block of Panorama City, in the San Fernando Valley, which sounds great--who doesn't love panoramas? But don't be fooled! The name is a trick. At one point Panorama City was part of Van Nuys, but Van Nuys did whatever the opposite of secede is to it...
|
|
|
Mindy Kaling |