lol

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
004d7e7	"Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand. Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed. Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence. "You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?" Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit. His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings." "Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!" "Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly. Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it." ... "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing." Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?" "Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"	snickers james-patterson maximum ride lol	James Patterson
2ad648b	"Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?" "Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it." "Kissed a couple of times," Percy said. Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!"	kissing funny humor oh-my-god-percy otp-foreva lol	Rick Riordan
1735e32	"Leo," Hazel gasped, "I can't--my arms--" "Hazel," he said. "Do you trust me?" "No!" "Me neither," Leo admitted."	trust humor leo-i-love-you-ok lol	Rick Riordan
8ab1515	"(Jace) "Is there anything special you want to see? Paris? Budapest? The Leaning Tower of Pisa?" Only if it falls on Sebastian's head, she thought."	clary-fray jace sebastian lol	Cassandra Clare
97d5158	"(Sebastian) "See, there you go. You're always looking at me like that."	jonathan-morgenstern clary-fray sebastian lol	Cassandra Clare
e264f40	"Are you two you know?" Jacob pointed at us. " " I didn't get a chance to answer. Cam spun me around and kissed me, right there between the two buildings. It was no friendly peck on the lips. When our tongues touched, my bag slipped off my arm and hit the frosted ground. "Holy crap," Jacob muttered. "I think they're going to make babies."	funny jacob-massen j-lynn jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you cam jacob lol	Jennifer L. Armentrout
98f4897	"Clary?" he thought. Her voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What's happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?" "Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from the Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurfs question."	smurfs clary-fray simon lol	Cassandra Clare
786807b	"When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war." "Mussolini?" Leo frowned. "Wasn't he like BFFs with Hitler?"	hazel-levesque leo-valdez lol	Rick Riordan
6f313fc	"The king picked up his goblet, swirling the wine inside. 'I didn't receive word that your legion was here.' "They're not." Chaol braced for the execution order, praying he wouldn't be the one to do it. The king said, "I told you to bring them, General." "Here, I was thinking you wanted the plesure of my company."	general-aedion aedion-ashryver king-of-adarlan insolence sassiness sassy wolf lol	Sarah J. Maas
793748a	"Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep." "Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus." Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll-I'll Terminus you, buddy!" --	humor percy-i-love-you-bye roman terminus lol	Rick Riordan
36378e5	"It's a training camp," Leo realized. He looked at Aphros in awe. "You train heroes, the same way Chiron does?" Aphros nodded, a glint of pride in his eyes. "We have trained all the famous mer-heroes! Name a merhero, and we have trained him or her!" "Oh, sure," Leo said. "Like...um, the Little Mermaid?"	humor omg-leo-ashjagshja lol	Rick Riordan
61cbb07	"Sam's hand brushed her shoulder, and she almost jumped out of her skin as he brought his mouth close to her ear and murmured, "You look beautiful. Though I bet you already know that." She most certainly did."	humour humor humourous lol	Sarah J. Maas
deeeb6c	"Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem. Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening. Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru [long silence from the other end of the phone] Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you	funny dog dragon hatori lol fruits-basket shigure tohru	Natsuki Takaya
dcd581f	"Claire found herself staring at his feet, which were in bunny slippers. Myrnin looked down. "What?" he asked. "They're quite comfortable." He lifted on to look at it, and the ears wobbled in the air. "Of course they are," she said. Just when she thought Myrnin was getting his mental act together, he'd do something like that. Or maybe he was just messing with her. He liked to do that, and his dark eyes were fixed on her now, assessing just how weirded-out she was. Which, on the grade scale of zero to Myrnin, wasn't much."	funny vamps morganville-vampires lol	Rachel Caine
f39b83b	(...) : Oh, David, I would trust you with my life! Oh, Jonathan, I would sacrifice my own life for your holy mission! (He almost does) : (weeping) David, you must return to me! I need you! I cannot do this thing without you! : Lo, I return!	fanfic the-shadowhunters-codex tmi clary simon lol	Cassandra Clare
188ba3a	Sorry. Sorry. Don't hit. Bitches be scary when they hit.	lmfao j-lynn jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you jacob haha lol hit	Jennifer L. Armentrout
8b343d1	"My name," I tell Wilbur in the most dignified voice I can find, "Was inspired by Harriet Quimby, the first female American pilot and the first woman ever to cross the Channel in an aeroplane. My mother chose it to represent freedom and bravery and independence, and she gave it to me just before she died." There's a short pause while Wilbur looks appropriately moved. Then Dad says, "Who told you that?" "Annabel did." "Well, it's not true at all. You were named after Harriet the tortoise, the second longest living tortoise in the world." There's a silence while I stare at Dad and Annabel puts her head in her hands so abruptly that the pen starts to leak into her collar. " ," she moans quietly. "A ?" I repeat in dismay. "I'm named after a ? What the hell is a tortoise supposed to represent?" "Longevity?"	tortoise lol	Holly Smale
bd81dec	"Kyo Sohma: One of these days I'll make you say you're sorry Yuki Sohma: looking bored I'm sorry. Kyo Sohma: Dammit That's not what I meant Don't you have any shame Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed Yes I'm ashamed to be seen with you shouting in public.	funny lol yuki kyo fruits-basket	Natsuki Takaya
37de017	In the old legends, Arachne had gotten into trouble because of pride. She'd bragged about her tapestries being better than Athena's, which had led to Mount Olympus's first reality TV punishment program: 'So You Think You Can Weave Better Than a Goddess?' Arachne had lost in a big way.	funny humor athena wicked lol	Rick Riordan
6c1ec56	"He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. "Mmm. You smell so good." "Oh, yeah," I said, smirking. "I call this new perfume 'Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.' " "Dirt and sweat. Very sexy."	humor love qué-romántico otp lol	James Patterson
90ce716	Oh, my dear! I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone else! My name is Rhea Silvia. I was the mother to Romulus and Remus, thousands of years ago. But you're so kind to think I look as young as the 1950s.	funny rhea-silvia audrey-hepburn percy-jackson lol	Rick Riordan
281822a	"Okay, so, flying," I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. "Flying is ... great. It feels great when you're doing it. It's fun. Pure freedom. There's nothing better." Dylan smiled, a slow, easy smile that seemed to light up his whole face. "So the first thing we're going to do," I told him, "is push you off the roof."	funny humor smooth smooth-max smile wings lol	James Patterson
dfcecdc	"He rolled his eyes and took my hand. His hand was hard and calloused, tough with muscle and old scars. The night settled around us like a blanket. I could hear the water lapping against the dock. We were totally alone. "You're . . . ," he began, and I waited, heart throbbing in my throat. "Such a pain," he concluded. "What?" I asked, just as his head swooped in and his mouth touched mine. I tried to speak, but one of Fang's hands held the back of my head, and he kept his lips pressed against me, kissing me softly but with a Fanglike determination. Oh, jeez, I thought distractedly. Jeez, this is Fang, and me, and . . . Fang tilted his head to kiss me more deeply, and I felt totally lightheaded. Then I remembered to breathe through my nose, and the fog cleared a tiny bit. Somehow we were pressed together, Fang's arms around me now, sliding under my wings, his hands flat against my back. It was incredible. I loved it. I loved him. It was a total disaster. Gasping, I pulled back. "I, uh--," I began oh so coherently, and then I jumped up, almost knocking him over, and raced down the dock. I took off, flying fast, like a rocket." --	jealousy pain kiss feelings funny friendship love brb-dying pals holding-hands confusion best-friends weird wings otp lol night	James Patterson
7bbe6de	"Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. "He needs a Band-Aid," I said. A look passed between me and Fang, full of suppressed humor, relief, understanding,love -- Forget I said that too. I don't know what's wrong with me."	understanding funny friendship humor love flying wings relief lol	James Patterson
56018ae	"Which brings me to the point of this call." Thank God, baby Jesus, and the Holy Ghost." --	j-lynn jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you lol	Jennifer L. Armentrout
50c23d2	A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.	humor lol school	James Patterson
a19ee35	"It's okay, Ig." said Fang. "Just give it your best shot." Sometimes the Fangster is incredibly supportive, just not with me."	iggy maximum-ride fang lol	James Patterson
e2f1cde	"Easy for you to say. You're the one who got plowed. I was doing the plowing." Cam's mouth opened. Oh my God, did I really just say that? I had."	funny jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you cam haha lol	Jennifer L. Armentrout
7a034b8	"Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, "Your time is coming to an end, you pathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill be remembered." Gazzy's blue eyes flashed. "Then you can remember me telling you to kiss my-" "Enough!" ter Borcht said."	funny death cool-response gazzy-i-love-u good-guy badass end lol	James Patterson
572c6e3	There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.	funny life nuts lol	James Patterson
941c02f	I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first!	funny weasleytwins harrypotter weasley safety lol	J.K. Rowling
7d61dd4	"I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and-" "Did you find that in the medicine cabinet?" Dylan asked. "Yeah." "It's for upset stomachs," Dylan said, trying to hide a smile. He pointed to the words on the box. "It's to reduce gas in you digestive system, not to create more gas to make explosions." Gazzy's face fell as Iggy said, "Really? Gazzy, take it! Take the whole box!"	funny humor iggy-i-love-you gas lol	James Patterson
7754bf6	Does she realize she looks like a sunflower, ready to rain sunlight on all who look down upon her?	lol	Simone Elkeles
2d0f66f	"Everybody in!" I said. Which was when we discovered the final problem. Little Echos aren't designed to hold six, count them six, larger-than-average-sized children. And their wings. And a dog. "This is like a clown car," Total grumbled front my lap in the front seat. "Why does the dog get to sit in your lap?'' Gazzy asked plaintively, as we rattled and banged down the dark streets. "How about a kid?" "Oh. 'The dog.' Very nice," said Total. "Because you're not allowed to have people on your lap in the front seats," I explained. "It's not safe. If a cop saw us, we'd be stopped for sure. You want Total back there?" Everyone in the back screamed no at the same time."	funny talking-dog dog lol	James Patterson
383f9b5	"You were at the party on Friday night, weren't you?" I didn't mentioned I'd followed him into the woods. He leaned back in his chair, his legs sprawled out. His boots nudged the bottom ruffle of my skirt. "Aye." Aye? Seriously? Could he be any hotter? Unless he had been looking for his girlfriend at the party. Not hot. "I was supposed to meet my cousin," he elaborated, "but I didn't find her," Hot again."	jo rock-guy stolen-away lol	Alyxandra Harvey
3771d09	"Not saving you from this storm, mutant," he said. "Saving you for your later fate, we are." His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine. "Oh, good. Yoda captured us," Fang whispered."	mutant robot machine yoda star-wars lol	James Patterson
87fc769	I am near fourteen and have never yet seen a hanging. My life is barren.	death life the-more-things-change hanging teenagers lol	Karen Cushman
265ab1c	If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you.	funny humor sanya the-dresden-files lol	Jim Butcher
700bfbb	"I look like prep school Barbie," Nudge complained, as she entered the kitchen. She caught sight of me in my uniform and looked mollified. "Actually, like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's "	nudge max lol school	James Patterson
09f31ab	"Just before his lips reached hers, she jerked her head back to whip it forward into his nose. A kiss. Distinct cracking sounded. With his nose pouring blood, he squeezed her upper arms, "Holly, what the fuck--" Using all her strength, she hiked her knee up between his legs. His hands flew to cup his groin as his knees met the ground. "You're right, Cadeon." She dusted off her hands. "That really fun."	best-heroines cade demon holly lol	Kresley Cole
11cb189	"I want to do it too!" said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless. "Nope," said Nudge, shaking her head. "You stand out like a fart in church."	funny fart powers lol	James Patterson
c745eb3	You wouldn't recognize a good thing if it was spanking your ass.	rydstrom lol	Kresley Cole
572bd08	"You have terminated me," one of them said in a strange, flat voice. "But I am one of many." "Robots!" Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. "One of many, one of many, one of many," the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out.	funny repeating robot flying bombs fight lol	James Patterson
37e7e51	Angelique Sookie, toi qui es la beaute et la grace incarnees, pardonne-moi. Je suis accable a l'idee que cette menade malfaisante et demoniaque ait pu oser violenter ce corps parfait et voluptueux qui est le tien, dans l'intention de faire parvenir un message a mon indigne et miserable personne.	lol	Charlaine Harris
9ebea32	"Bloody hell," Phillip finally burst out. "If you're going to break my legs, would you just go ahead and do it now?"	lol	Julia Quinn
219ecbc	They have provided a system which for terse comprehensiveness surpasses Justinian's Pandects and the By-laws of the Chinese Society for the Suppression of Meddling with other People's Business.	chinese-society justinian mind-your-own-business pandects funny moby-dick melville laws lol	Herman Melville
c376503	Twenty minutes later, I caught sight of Barack across the room, in the grips of what looked to be an endless conversation with the woman, who was doing a large portion of the talking. He shot me a look, implying that he'd like to be rescued. But he was a grown man. I let him rescue himself.	lol	Michelle Obama
b41c71c	Preserved pufferfish. Former flounders. Ex-eels.	lol	Sy Montgomery
69959a7	I started rubbing my temples and she suggested I don't really get headaches. It just hurts me to think.	lol sarcasm	Kelley Armstrong

004d7e7

"Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand. Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed. Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence. "You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?" Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit. His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings." "Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!" "Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly. Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it." ... "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing." Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?" "Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"

snickers james-patterson maximum ride lol

James Patterson

2ad648b

"Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?" "Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it." "Kissed a couple of times," Percy said. Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!"

kissing funny humor oh-my-god-percy otp-foreva lol

Rick Riordan

1735e32

"Leo," Hazel gasped, "I can't--my arms--" "Hazel," he said. "Do you trust me?" "No!" "Me neither," Leo admitted."

trust humor leo-i-love-you-ok lol

Rick Riordan

8ab1515

"(Jace) "Is there anything special you want to see? Paris? Budapest? The Leaning Tower of Pisa?" Only if it falls on Sebastian's head, she thought."

clary-fray jace sebastian lol

Cassandra Clare

97d5158

"(Sebastian) "See, there you go. You're always looking at me like that."

jonathan-morgenstern clary-fray sebastian lol

Cassandra Clare

e264f40

"Are you two you know?" Jacob pointed at us. " " I didn't get a chance to answer. Cam spun me around and kissed me, right there between the two buildings. It was no friendly peck on the lips. When our tongues touched, my bag slipped off my arm and hit the frosted ground. "Holy crap," Jacob muttered. "I think they're going to make babies."

funny jacob-massen j-lynn jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you cam jacob lol

Jennifer L. Armentrout

98f4897

"Clary?" he thought. Her voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What's happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?" "Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from the Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurfs question."

smurfs clary-fray simon lol

Cassandra Clare

786807b

"When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war." "Mussolini?" Leo frowned. "Wasn't he like BFFs with Hitler?"

hazel-levesque leo-valdez lol

Rick Riordan

6f313fc

"The king picked up his goblet, swirling the wine inside. 'I didn't receive word that your legion was here.' "They're not." Chaol braced for the execution order, praying he wouldn't be the one to do it. The king said, "I told you to bring them, General." "Here, I was thinking you wanted the plesure of my company."

general-aedion aedion-ashryver king-of-adarlan insolence sassiness sassy wolf lol

Sarah J. Maas

793748a

"Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep." "Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus." Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll-I'll Terminus you, buddy!" --

humor percy-i-love-you-bye roman terminus lol

Rick Riordan

36378e5

"It's a training camp," Leo realized. He looked at Aphros in awe. "You train heroes, the same way Chiron does?" Aphros nodded, a glint of pride in his eyes. "We have trained all the famous mer-heroes! Name a merhero, and we have trained him or her!" "Oh, sure," Leo said. "Like...um, the Little Mermaid?"

humor omg-leo-ashjagshja lol

Rick Riordan

61cbb07

"Sam's hand brushed her shoulder, and she almost jumped out of her skin as he brought his mouth close to her ear and murmured, "You look beautiful. Though I bet you already know that." She most certainly did."

humour humor humourous lol

Sarah J. Maas

deeeb6c

"Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem. Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening. Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru [long silence from the other end of the phone] Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you

funny dog dragon hatori lol fruits-basket shigure tohru

Natsuki Takaya

dcd581f

"Claire found herself staring at his feet, which were in bunny slippers. Myrnin looked down. "What?" he asked. "They're quite comfortable." He lifted on to look at it, and the ears wobbled in the air. "Of course they are," she said. Just when she thought Myrnin was getting his mental act together, he'd do something like that. Or maybe he was just messing with her. He liked to do that, and his dark eyes were fixed on her now, assessing just how weirded-out she was. Which, on the grade scale of zero to Myrnin, wasn't much."

funny vamps morganville-vampires lol

Rachel Caine

f39b83b

(...) : Oh, David, I would trust you with my life! Oh, Jonathan, I would sacrifice my own life for your holy mission! (He almost does) : (weeping) David, you must return to me! I need you! I cannot do this thing without you! : Lo, I return!

fanfic the-shadowhunters-codex tmi clary simon lol

Cassandra Clare

188ba3a

Sorry. Sorry. Don't hit. Bitches be scary when they hit.

lmfao j-lynn jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you jacob haha lol hit

Jennifer L. Armentrout

8b343d1

"My name," I tell Wilbur in the most dignified voice I can find, "Was inspired by Harriet Quimby, the first female American pilot and the first woman ever to cross the Channel in an aeroplane. My mother chose it to represent freedom and bravery and independence, and she gave it to me just before she died." There's a short pause while Wilbur looks appropriately moved. Then Dad says, "Who told you that?" "Annabel did." "Well, it's not true at all. You were named after Harriet the tortoise, the second longest living tortoise in the world." There's a silence while I stare at Dad and Annabel puts her head in her hands so abruptly that the pen starts to leak into her collar. " ," she moans quietly. "A ?" I repeat in dismay. "I'm named after a ? What the hell is a tortoise supposed to represent?" "Longevity?"

tortoise lol

Holly Smale

bd81dec

"Kyo Sohma: One of these days I'll make you say you're sorry Yuki Sohma: looking bored I'm sorry. Kyo Sohma: Dammit That's not what I meant Don't you have any shame Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed Yes I'm ashamed to be seen with you shouting in public.

funny lol yuki kyo fruits-basket

Natsuki Takaya

37de017

In the old legends, Arachne had gotten into trouble because of pride. She'd bragged about her tapestries being better than Athena's, which had led to Mount Olympus's first reality TV punishment program: 'So You Think You Can Weave Better Than a Goddess?' Arachne had lost in a big way.

funny humor athena wicked lol

Rick Riordan

6c1ec56

"He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. "Mmm. You smell so good." "Oh, yeah," I said, smirking. "I call this new perfume 'Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.' " "Dirt and sweat. Very sexy."

humor love qué-romántico otp lol

James Patterson

90ce716

Oh, my dear! I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone else! My name is Rhea Silvia. I was the mother to Romulus and Remus, thousands of years ago. But you're so kind to think I look as young as the 1950s.

funny rhea-silvia audrey-hepburn percy-jackson lol

Rick Riordan

281822a

"Okay, so, flying," I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. "Flying is ... great. It feels great when you're doing it. It's fun. Pure freedom. There's nothing better." Dylan smiled, a slow, easy smile that seemed to light up his whole face. "So the first thing we're going to do," I told him, "is push you off the roof."

funny humor smooth smooth-max smile wings lol

James Patterson

dfcecdc

"He rolled his eyes and took my hand. His hand was hard and calloused, tough with muscle and old scars. The night settled around us like a blanket. I could hear the water lapping against the dock. We were totally alone. "You're . . . ," he began, and I waited, heart throbbing in my throat. "Such a pain," he concluded. "What?" I asked, just as his head swooped in and his mouth touched mine. I tried to speak, but one of Fang's hands held the back of my head, and he kept his lips pressed against me, kissing me softly but with a Fanglike determination. Oh, jeez, I thought distractedly. Jeez, this is Fang, and me, and . . . Fang tilted his head to kiss me more deeply, and I felt totally lightheaded. Then I remembered to breathe through my nose, and the fog cleared a tiny bit. Somehow we were pressed together, Fang's arms around me now, sliding under my wings, his hands flat against my back. It was incredible. I loved it. I loved him. It was a total disaster. Gasping, I pulled back. "I, uh--," I began oh so coherently, and then I jumped up, almost knocking him over, and raced down the dock. I took off, flying fast, like a rocket." --

jealousy pain kiss feelings funny friendship love brb-dying pals holding-hands confusion best-friends weird wings otp lol night

James Patterson

7bbe6de

"Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. "He needs a Band-Aid," I said. A look passed between me and Fang, full of suppressed humor, relief, understanding,love -- Forget I said that too. I don't know what's wrong with me."

understanding funny friendship humor love flying wings relief lol

James Patterson

56018ae

"Which brings me to the point of this call." Thank God, baby Jesus, and the Holy Ghost." --

j-lynn jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you lol

Jennifer L. Armentrout

50c23d2

A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.

humor lol school

James Patterson

a19ee35

"It's okay, Ig." said Fang. "Just give it your best shot." Sometimes the Fangster is incredibly supportive, just not with me."

iggy maximum-ride fang lol

James Patterson

e2f1cde

"Easy for you to say. You're the one who got plowed. I was doing the plowing." Cam's mouth opened. Oh my God, did I really just say that? I had."

funny jennifer-l-armentrout wait-for-you cam haha lol

Jennifer L. Armentrout

7a034b8

"Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, "Your time is coming to an end, you pathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill be remembered." Gazzy's blue eyes flashed. "Then you can remember me telling you to kiss my-" "Enough!" ter Borcht said."

funny death cool-response gazzy-i-love-u good-guy badass end lol

James Patterson

572c6e3

There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.

funny life nuts lol

James Patterson

941c02f

I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first!

funny weasleytwins harrypotter weasley safety lol

J.K. Rowling

7d61dd4

"I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and-" "Did you find that in the medicine cabinet?" Dylan asked. "Yeah." "It's for upset stomachs," Dylan said, trying to hide a smile. He pointed to the words on the box. "It's to reduce gas in you digestive system, not to create more gas to make explosions." Gazzy's face fell as Iggy said, "Really? Gazzy, take it! Take the whole box!"

funny humor iggy-i-love-you gas lol

James Patterson

7754bf6

Does she realize she looks like a sunflower, ready to rain sunlight on all who look down upon her?

lol

Simone Elkeles

2d0f66f

"Everybody in!" I said. Which was when we discovered the final problem. Little Echos aren't designed to hold six, count them six, larger-than-average-sized children. And their wings. And a dog. "This is like a clown car," Total grumbled front my lap in the front seat. "Why does the dog get to sit in your lap?'' Gazzy asked plaintively, as we rattled and banged down the dark streets. "How about a kid?" "Oh. 'The dog.' Very nice," said Total. "Because you're not allowed to have people on your lap in the front seats," I explained. "It's not safe. If a cop saw us, we'd be stopped for sure. You want Total back there?" Everyone in the back screamed no at the same time."

funny talking-dog dog lol

James Patterson

383f9b5

"You were at the party on Friday night, weren't you?" I didn't mentioned I'd followed him into the woods. He leaned back in his chair, his legs sprawled out. His boots nudged the bottom ruffle of my skirt. "Aye." Aye? Seriously? Could he be any hotter? Unless he had been looking for his girlfriend at the party. Not hot. "I was supposed to meet my cousin," he elaborated, "but I didn't find her," Hot again."

jo rock-guy stolen-away lol

Alyxandra Harvey

3771d09

"Not saving you from this storm, mutant," he said. "Saving you for your later fate, we are." His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine. "Oh, good. Yoda captured us," Fang whispered."

mutant robot machine yoda star-wars lol

James Patterson

87fc769

I am near fourteen and have never yet seen a hanging. My life is barren.

death life the-more-things-change hanging teenagers lol

Karen Cushman

265ab1c

If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you.

funny humor sanya the-dresden-files lol

Jim Butcher

700bfbb

"I look like prep school Barbie," Nudge complained, as she entered the kitchen. She caught sight of me in my uniform and looked mollified. "Actually, like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's "

nudge max lol school

James Patterson

09f31ab

"Just before his lips reached hers, she jerked her head back to whip it forward into his nose. A kiss. Distinct cracking sounded. With his nose pouring blood, he squeezed her upper arms, "Holly, what the fuck--" Using all her strength, she hiked her knee up between his legs. His hands flew to cup his groin as his knees met the ground. "You're right, Cadeon." She dusted off her hands. "That really fun."

best-heroines cade demon holly lol

Kresley Cole

11cb189

"I want to do it too!" said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless. "Nope," said Nudge, shaking her head. "You stand out like a fart in church."

funny fart powers lol

James Patterson

c745eb3

You wouldn't recognize a good thing if it was spanking your ass.

rydstrom lol

Kresley Cole

572bd08

"You have terminated me," one of them said in a strange, flat voice. "But I am one of many." "Robots!" Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. "One of many, one of many, one of many," the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out.

funny repeating robot flying bombs fight lol

James Patterson

37e7e51

Angelique Sookie, toi qui es la beaute et la grace incarnees, pardonne-moi. Je suis accable a l'idee que cette menade malfaisante et demoniaque ait pu oser violenter ce corps parfait et voluptueux qui est le tien, dans l'intention de faire parvenir un message a mon indigne et miserable personne.

lol

Charlaine Harris

9ebea32

"Bloody hell," Phillip finally burst out. "If you're going to break my legs, would you just go ahead and do it now?"

lol

Julia Quinn

219ecbc

They have provided a system which for terse comprehensiveness surpasses Justinian's Pandects and the By-laws of the Chinese Society for the Suppression of Meddling with other People's Business.

chinese-society justinian mind-your-own-business pandects funny moby-dick melville laws lol

Herman Melville

c376503

Twenty minutes later, I caught sight of Barack across the room, in the grips of what looked to be an endless conversation with the woman, who was doing a large portion of the talking. He shot me a look, implying that he'd like to be rescued. But he was a grown man. I let him rescue himself.

lol

Michelle Obama

b41c71c

Preserved pufferfish. Former flounders. Ex-eels.

lol

Sy Montgomery

69959a7

I started rubbing my temples and she suggested I don't really get headaches. It just hurts me to think.

lol sarcasm

Kelley Armstrong