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One of the immediate questions new parents face is who will provide primary care for a child. The historical choice has been the mother. Breast-feeding alone has made this both the logical and the biological choice. But the advent of the modern-day breast pump has changed the equation. At Google, I would lock my office door and pump during conference calls. People would ask, "What's that sound?" I would respond, "What sound?" When they woul..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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the ambition to lean in to your career and run the world. Because the world needs you to change it. Women all around the world are counting on you.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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My hope, of course, is that we won't have to play by these archaic rules forever and that eventually we can all just be ourselves.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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It may not be as dramatic or funny to make a movie about a woman who loves both her job and her family, but that would be a better reflection of reality.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is. I don't know of one woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully--and I mean fully--supportive of her career. No exceptions. And contrary to the popular notion that only unmarried women can make it to the top, the majority of the most successful female business leaders have partne..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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success or
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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One of the things I tell people these days is that there is no perfect fit when you're looking for the next big thing to do. You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have."13"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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When Warren Buffett talks about competing against only half of the population, I think about her and wonder how different her life might have been if she had been born half a century later.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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The laws of economics and many studies of diversity tell us that if we tapped the entire pool of human resources and talent, our collective performance would improve.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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T]he real issue was not that I felt like a fraud, but that I could feel something deeply and profoundly and be completely wrong.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Stanford professor Jennifer Aaker's work shows that setting obtainable goals is key to happiness. Instead of perfection, we should aim for sustainable and fulfilling.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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If I had to embrace a definiton of success, it would be that success is making the best choices that we can... and accepting them. Journalist Mary Curtis suggested in The Washington Post that the best advice anyone can offer "is for women and men to drop the guilt trip, even as the minutes tick away. The secret is there is no secret - just doing the best you can with what you've got."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Men need to support women and, I wish it went without saying, women need to support women too.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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But when it comes to integrating career and family, planning too far in advance can close doors rather than open them. I have seen this happen over and over. Women rarely make one big decision to leave the workforce. Instead, they make a lot of small decisions along the way, making accommodations and sacrifices that they believe will be required to have a family. Of all the ways women hold themselves back, perhaps the most pervasive is that..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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The classic scenario unfolds like this. An ambitious and successful woman heads down a challenging career path with the thought of having children in the back of her mind. At some point, this thought moves to the front of her mind, typically once she finds a partner. The woman considers how hard she is working and reasons that to make room for a child she will have to scale back. A law associate might decide not to shoot for partner because..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Often without even realizing it, the woman stops reaching for new opportunities. If any are presented to her, she is likely to decline or offer the kind of hesitant "yes" that gets the project assigned to someone else. The problem is that even if she were to get pregnant immediately, she still has nine months before she has to care for an actual child. And since women usually start this mental preparation well before trying to conceive, sev..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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But I also know that in order to continue to grow and challenge myself, I have to believe in my own abilities. I still face situations that I fear are beyond my capabilities. I still have days when I feel like a fraud. And I still sometimes find myself spoken over and discounted while men sitting next to me are not. But now I know how to take a deep breath and keep my hand up. I have learned to sit at the table.
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women
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Today, despite all of the gains we have made, neither men nor women have real choice. Until women have supportive employers and colleagues as well as partners who share family responsibilities, they don't have real choice. And until men are fully respected for contributing inside the home, they don't have real choice either. Equal opportunity is not equal unless everyone receives the encouragement that makes seizing those opportunities poss..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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We are a new generation and we need a new approach.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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When children feel comfortable asking for help, they know they matter.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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The more satisfied a person is with her position, the less likely she is to leave.3 So the irony--and, to me, the tragedy--is that women wind up leaving the workforce precisely because of things they did to stay in the workforce. With the best of intentions, they end up in a job that is less fulfilling and less engaging. When they finally have a child, the choice--for those who have one--is between becoming a stay-at-home mother or returnin..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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My first day at work at the World Bank, Larry Summers asked me to perform some calculations. I was at a loss on how to proceed, so I turned to Lant Pritchett for help. "Just put it into Lotus 1-2-3," he advised. I told him that I didn't know how to do that. "Wow," he exclaimed. "I can't believe you've gotten this far, or even how you can understand basic economics, without knowing how to use Lotus." I went home convinced that I was going to..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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People often pretend that professional decisions are not affected by their personal lives. They are afraid to talk about their home situations at work as if one should never interfere with the other, when of course they can and do. I know many women who won't discuss their children at work out of fear that their priorities will be questioned. I hope this won't always be the case. My
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Anyone lucky enough to have options should keep them open. Don't enter the workforce already looking for the exit. Don't put on the brakes. Accelerate. Keep a foot on the gas pedal until a decision must be made. That's the only way to ensure that when that day comes, there will be a real decision to make.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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In addition to the external barriers erected by society, women are hindered by barriers that exist within ourselves. We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. We internalize the negative messages we get throughout our lives - the messages that say it's wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men. We lower our own ex..
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women
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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of the basic laws of economics and common
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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We need more portrayals of women as competent professionals and happy mothers - or even happy professionals and competent mothers.
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women
work
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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There is no perfect fit when you're looking for the next big thing to do. You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around.
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women
work
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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women will continue to sacrifice being liked for being successful.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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But a communal approach is not enough. According to Professor Bowles, the second thing women must do is provide a legitimate explanation for the negotiation.21 Men don't have to legitimize their negotiations; they are expected to look out for themselves. Women, however, have to justify their requests.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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The ability to forge a unique path with occasional dips, detours, and even dead ends presents a better chance for fulfillment. Plus, a jungle gym provides great views for many people, not just those at the top. On a ladder, most climbers are stuck staring at the butt of the person above.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is. I don't know of one woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully--and I mean fully--supportive of her career. No exceptions.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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What would I do if I weren't afraid? And then go do it.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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The laws that protect women and minorities and people with disabilities, among others, from discrimination are essential, and I am not suggesting they be circumvented. But I have also witnessed firsthand how they can have a chilling effect on discourse, sometimes even to the detriment of the people they are designed to defend.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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As former secretary of state Madeleine Albright once said, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."14"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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A 2011 McKinsey report noted that men are promoted based on potential, while women are promoted based on past accomplishments.14
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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When we announced the opening of a new office or the launch of a new project, the men were banging down my door to explain why they should lead the charge. Men were also more likely to chase a growth opportunity even before a new opening was announced. They were impatient about their own development and believed that they were capable of doing more. And they were often right--just like my brother. The women, however, were more cautious abou..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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I used Harvard's computer system only once as an undergraduate, to run regressions for my senior thesis on the economics of spousal abuse. The data was stored on large, heavy magnetic tapes that I had to lug in big boxes across campus, cursing the entire way and arriving in a sweaty mess at the sole computer center, which was populated exclusively with male students. I then had to stay up all night spinning the tapes to input the data. When..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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One of the things he told me was that my desire to be liked by everyone would hold me back. He said that when you want to change things, you can't please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren't making enough progress. Mark was right.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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letting the other side make the first offer is often crucial to achieving favorable terms.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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In that first deal, I said too much. This was not a shock to anyone who knows me. Once I identified this weakness, I sought help to correct it. I turned to Maureen Taylor, a communications coach, who gave me an assignment. She told me that for one week I couldn't give my opinion unless asked. It was one of the longest weeks of my life. If
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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One night, encouraged by the male partners, I puffed away on a cigar--just one of the guys. Except that the smoking nauseated me and I reeked of cigar smoke for days. If that was fitting in, I stuck out.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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At the time, I didn't know how to respond. Now I would say yes. I made this my "thing" because we need to disrupt the status quo. Staying quiet and fitting in may have been all the first generations of women who entered corporate America could do; in some cases, it might still be the safest path. But this strategy is not paying off for women as a group. Instead, we need to speak out, identify the barriers that are holding women back, and fi..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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By focusing on her career and taking a calculated approach to amassing power, Heidi violated our stereotypical expectations of women. Yet by behaving in the same manner, Howard lived up to our stereotypical expectations of men. The end result? Liked him, disliked her.
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stereotypes
women
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perspective
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Sheryl Sandberg |