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A 2011 McKinsey report noted that men are promoted based on potential, while women are promoted based on past accomplishments.14 In addition to the external barriers erected by society, women are hindered by barriers that exist within ourselves. We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. We internalize the negative messages we get..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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He said that when you want to change things, you can't please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren't making enough progress.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, you don't ask what seat. You just get on." I"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Without fear, women can pursue professional success and personal fulfillment--and freely choose one, or the other, or both.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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If women want to succeed more at work and if men want to succeed more at home, these expectations have to be challenged. As Gloria Steinem once observed, "It's not about biology, but about consciousness." (p.108)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Now we know that women can do what men can do, but we don't know that men can do what women can do." (Gloria Steinem) (p.120)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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More boys need that role model and that choices. As more women lean in to their careers, more men need to lean in to their families. We need to encourage men to be more ambitious in their homes. We need more men to sit at the table ... the kitchen table. (p.121)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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One of my favorite posters at Facebook declares in big red letters, "Done is better than perfect." (p.126)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Guilt management can be just as important as time management for mothers. (p.138)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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If I had to embrace a definition of success, it would be that success is making the best choices we can ... and accepting them. (p.140)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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One stumbling block is that many people believe that the workplace is largely a meritocracy, which means we look at individuals, not groups, and determine that differences in outcomes must be based on merit, not gender. Men at the top are often unaware of the benefits they enjoy 'simply because they're men, and this can make them blind to the disadvantages associated with being a woman. Women lower down also believe that men at the top are ..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Even today, gender-blind evaluations still result in better outcomes for women. Unfortunately, most jobs require face-to-face interviews. All of us, myself included, are biased, whether we admit it or not. And thinking that we are objective can actually make this even worse, creating what social scientists call a "bias blindspot." This blindspot causes people to be too confident about their own powers of objectivity so that they fail to cor..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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The success and likability penalty is imposed by both men and women. Women perpetuate this bias as well. (...) Calling attention to this bias forces people to think about whether there is a real problem or a perception problem. The goal is to give women something men tend to receive automatically - the benefit of the doubt. (p.155)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Framing the issue as "work-life balance" - as if the two were diametrically opposed - practically ensures work will lose out. Who would ever choose work over life? (p.24)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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be asking instead how I could become resilient. Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity--and we can build it. It isn't about having a backbone. It's about strengthening the muscles around our backbone.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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at the same time that women need to sit at the table and own their success, doing so causes them to be liked less. Most people, myself included, really want to be liked - and not just because it feels good. Being liked is also a key factor in both professional and personal success. A willingness to make an introduction or advocate for or promote someone depends upon having positive feelings about that person. (p.44)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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When negotiating, "Think personally, act communally." I have advised many women to preface negotiations by explaining that they know that women often get paid less than men so they are going to negotiate rather than accept the original offer. By doing so, women position themselves as connected to a group and not just out for themselves; in effect, they are negotiating for all women. (p.47)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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just being nice is not a winning strategy. Nice sends a message that the woman is willing to sacrifice pay to be liked by others. This is why a woman needs to combine niceness with insistence, a style that Mary Sue Coleman, president of the University of Michigan, calls "relentlessly pleasant." (p.48)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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grief. I started to learn that no matter how sad I felt, another break would eventually come. It helped me regain a sense of control. I
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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dealing with grief was like building physical stamina: the more you exercise, the faster your heart rate recovers after it is elevated.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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After every low score you receive," law professors Doug Stone and Sheila Heen advise, you should "give yourself a 'second score' based on how you handle the first score....Even when you get an F for the situation itself, you can still earn an A+ for how you deal with it."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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It's easy to dislike senior women because there are so few. If women held 50 percent of the top jobs, it would just not be possible to dislike that many people. (p.50)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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One of the things he (Mark Zuckerberg) told me was that my desire to be liked by everyone would hold me back. He said that when you want to change things, you can't please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren't making enough progress. (p.51)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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I recommend adopting two concurrent goals: a long-term dream and an eighteen-month plan. (...) Typically, my eighteen-month plan sets goals on two fronts. First and most important, I set targets for what my team can accomplish. Employees who concentrate on results and impact are the most valuable (...) Second, I try to set more personal goals for learning new skills in the next eighteen months. It's often painful, but I ask myself, "How can..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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At times, staying in the same functional area and in the same organization creates inertia and limits opportunities to expand. Seeking out diverse experiences is useful preparation for leadership. (p.62)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Women need to shift from thinking "I'm not ready to do that" to thinking "I want to do that - and I'll learn by doing it." (p.62)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Studies show that mentors select proteges based on performance and potential. Intuitively, people invest in those who stand out for their talent or who can really benefit from help. Mentors continue to invest when mentees use their time well and are truly open to feedback. (...) I believe we have sent the wrong message to young women. We need to stop telling them, "Get a mentor and you will excel." Instead, we need to tell them, "Excel and ..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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When communicating hard truths, less is often more. (p.80)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Reflecting someone's viewpoint clarifies the disagreement and becomes a starting point for resolution. We all want to be heard, and when we focus on showing others that we are listening, we actually become better listeners.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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One thing that helps is to remember that feedback, like truth, is not absolute. Feedback is an opinion, grounded in observations and experiences, which allows us to know what impression we make on others. (p.83)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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How can I do better?" "What am I doing that I don't know?" "What am I not doing that I don't see?" These questions can lead to so many benefits. And believe me, the truth hurts. Even when I have solicited feedback, any judgment can feel harsh. But the upside of painful knowledge is so much better than the downside of blissful ignorance. (p.83 f)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Miscommunication is always a two-way street. (p.85)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships. Motivation comes from working on things we care about. It also comes from working with people we care about. To really care about others, we have to understand them _ What they like and dislike, what they feel as well as think. Emotion drives both men and women and influences every decision we make. Recognizing the role emotions play and being willing to discuss them makes us better managers, pa..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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In the United Kingdom, women face wage penalties for time out of the labor force as well, with British mothers' average annual earnings decreasing by roughly 13 percent per child. (p.102)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Anyone who wants her mate to be a true partner must treat him as an equal - and equally capable - partner. And if that's not enough, bear in mind that a study found that wives who engage in gatekeeping behaviors do five more hours of family work per week than wives who take a more collaborative approach. (p.109)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is. I don't know of one woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully - and I mean fully - supportive of her career. No exceptions. (p.110)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. (p.116)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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In prosperity our friends know us. In adversity we know our friends.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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I promise I will raise your children as Vikings fans even though I know nothing about football and I'm pretty sure that team never wins.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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by the problem. "Some things in life cannot be fixed.8 They can only be carried,"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Mighty Be Our Powers,
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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I have long believed that people need to feel supported and understood at work. I now know that this is even more important after tragedy. And sadly, it's far less common than it should be.
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Sheryl Sandberg |