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f673e59
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Conditions for all women will improve when there are more women in leadership roles giving strong and powerful voice to their needs and concerns.13
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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58c5583
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This is the second worst moment of our lives. We lived through the first and we will live through this. It can only get better from here.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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7bd52ac
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As you start your career, you should be aware that men are often promoted based on potential, while women are promoted on past performance.1 You should also be aware that when men are successful, they are often better liked by both men and women, but when women are successful, they are liked less.2 I have asked audiences around the world to raise their hands if they've been told they were too aggressive at work. Time and again, a small frac..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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bc0a38f
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You should also be aware of the internal barriers that we often impose on ourselves. Too many women sit on the side of the room when they should be sitting at the table. Too many women lower their voices when they should be speaking up. This is not our fault. We internalize messages that say it's wrong for us to be outspoken, aggressive, and as powerful as--or even more powerful than--men.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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0ac9e9b
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When it's safe to talk about mistakes, people are more likely to report errors and less likely to make them.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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f83d27e
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Even when we're in great distress, joy can still be found in moments we seize and moments we create. Cooking. Dancing. Hiking. Praying. Driving. Singing Billy Joel songs off-key. All of these can provide relief from pain. And when these moments add up, we find that they give us more than happiness; they also give us strength.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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c051ec8
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caring means that when someone is hurting, you cannot imagine being anywhere else. This
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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a08c708
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This is the ultimate chicken and the egg situation. The chicken: Women will tear down the external barriers once we achieve leadership roles... The egg: We need to eliminate the external barriers to get women into those roles in the first place. Both sides are right.
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women
work
glass-ceiling
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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91072c6
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Our entrenched cultural ideas associate men with leadership qualities and women with nurturing qualities and put women in a double bind," she said. "We believe not only that women are nurturing, but that they should be nurturing above all else. When a woman does anything that signals she might not be nice first and foremost, it creates a negative impression and makes us uncomfortable."7 If a woman is competent, she does not seem nice enough..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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7dace0b
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Ephron insisted, "It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don't be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I've had four careers and three husbands."
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work
success
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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2e1f2e8
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Taking risks, choosing growth, challenging ourselves, and asking for promotions (with smiles on our faces, of course) are all important elements of managing a career.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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523046d
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First, women must come across as being nice, concerned about others, and "appropriately" female. When women take a more instrumental approach ("This is what I want and deserve"), people react far more negatively. There is a saying, "Think globally, act locally." When negotiating, "Think personally, act communally."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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8db3418
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Instead of ignoring our differences, we need to accept and transcend them.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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8d9e790
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Adam has published five different studies demonstrating that meaningful work buffers against burnout.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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c5b137c
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Self-compassion comes from recognizing that our imperfections are part of being human.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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eacb96b
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It is hard to visualize someone as a leader if she is always waiting to be told what to do.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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51db0f9
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Talking can transform minds, which can transform behaviors, which can transform institutions.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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98163d8
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Building resilience depends on the opportunities children have and the relationships they form with parents, caregivers, teachers, and friends. We can start by helping children develop four core beliefs: (1) they have some control over their lives; (2) they can learn from failure; (3) they matter as human beings; and (4) they have real strengths to rely on and share.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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8b5d251
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Padmasree Warrior, Cisco's chief technology officer, was asked by The Huffington Post, "What's the most important lesson you've learned from a mistake you've made in the past?" She responded, "I said no to a lot of opportunities when I was just starting out because I thought, 'That's not what my degree is in' or 'I don't know about that domain.' In retrospect, at a certain point it's your ability to learn quickly and contribute quickly that..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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8782a62
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finding God or a higher power reminds us that we are not the center of the universe. There is much we don't understand about human existence, and there is order and purpose to it anyway. It helps us feel that our suffering is not random or meaningless." Yet"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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0d02ef0
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The cost of stability is often diminished opportunities for growth.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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a8bd42d
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As Gloria Steinem observed, "Whoever has power takes over the noun--and the norm--while the less powerful get an adjective."1 Since no one wants to be perceived as less powerful, a lot of women reject the gender identification and insist, "I don't see myself as a woman; I see myself as a novelist/ athlete/ professional/ fill-in-the-blank." They are right to do so. No one wants her achievements modified. We all just want to be the noun. Yet"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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3ed4ad9
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When someone isn't making good decisions, few have the guts to tell that person, especially if that person is the boss. One
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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23a7d26
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Parental behavioral factors--including fathers who are responsive and positive, mothers who favor "self-directed child behavior," and parents with emotional intimacy in their marriages--influence a child's development two to three times more than any form of child care."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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01a20be
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In China, women who are single past the age of twenty-seven are stigmatized as sheng nu, or "leftover women." They face severe pressure from their families to marry, stemming from the widespread belief that regardless of education and professional achievement, a woman is "absolutely nothing until she is married." One thirty-six-year-old economics professor was rejected by fifteen men because she had an advanced degree; her father then forba..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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c07453d
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When I wrote Lean In, some people argued that I did not spend enough time writing about the difficulties women face when they don't have a partner. They were right. I didn't get it. I didn't get how hard it is to succeed at work when you are overwhelmed at home. I wrote a chapter titled "Make Your Partner a Real Partner" about the importance of couples splitting child care and housework 50/50. Now I see how insensitive and unhelpful this wa..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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eeb6c43
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leaders should strive for authenticity over perfection.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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1654ffa
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I thought resilience was the capacity to endure pain, so I asked Adam how I could figure out how much I had. He explained that our amount of resilience isn't fixed, so I should be asking instead how I could become resilient. Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity--and we can build it. It isn't about having a backbone. It's about strengthening the muscles around our backbone.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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9799000
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Done is better than perfect." I have tried to embrace this motto and let go of unattainable standards. Aiming for perfection causes frustration at best and paralysis at worst."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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066ae73
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In fact, these "bad mother with a briefcase" images are so prevalent that writer Jessica Valenti collected them in a funny and poignant blog post called "Sad White Babies with Mean Feminist Mommies."25"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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932c532
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Most people, myself included, really want to be liked--and not just because it feels good. Being liked is also a key factor in both professional and personal success. A willingness to make an introduction or advocate for or promote someone depends upon having positive feelings about that person. We need to believe in her ability to do the job and get along with everyone while doing it. That's why, instinctively, many of us feel pressure to ..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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bae6353
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Professor Rosalind Chait Barnett of Brandeis University did a comprehensive review of studies on work-life balance and found that women who participate in multiple roles 36 actually have lower levels of anxiety and higher levels of mental well-being. Employed women reap rewards including greater financial security, more stable marriages, better health, and, in general, 37 increased life satisfaction.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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56dbf3d
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I don't know anyone who has been handed only roses. We all encounter hardships. Some we see coming; others take us by surprise. It can be as tragic as the sudden death of a child, as heartbreaking as a relationship that unravels, or as disappointing as a dream that goes unfulfilled. The question is: When these things happen, what do we do next? I
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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4495ec5
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One thing that helps is to remember that feedback, like truth, is not absolute. Feedback is an opinion, grounded in observations and experiences, which allows us to know what impression we make on others. The information is revealing and potentially uncomfortable, which is why all of us would rather offer feedback to those who welcome it.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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d83b783
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Women face real obstacles in the professional world, including blatant and subtle sexism,
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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a9612b4
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When a man helps a colleague, the recipient feels indebted to him and is highly likely to return the favor. But when a woman helps out, the feeling of indebtedness is weaker. She's communal, right? She wants to help others. Professor Flynn calls this the "gender discount" problem, and it means that women are paying a professional penalty for their presumed desire to be communal.10 On the other hand, when a man helps a coworker, it's conside..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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dbccd8f
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Now the stress dream was real. I was alone in my bed. Alone when my kids went on playdates. Just one hour in my house without them made me project into the future to when they would go off to college, leaving me behind. Would I be alone for the rest of my life? Marne
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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bf0b218
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women are not thinking about 'having it all,' they're worried about losing it all--their jobs, their children's health, their families' financial stability--because of the regular conflicts that arise between being a good employee and a responsible parent."34"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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21f070a
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In order to protect ourselves from being disliked, we question our abilities and downplay our achievements, especially in the presence of others. We put ourselves down before others can.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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b0512f1
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The researchers speculated that men in traditional marriages are not overtly hostile toward women but instead are "benevolent sexists"--holding positive yet outdated views about women.10 (Another term I have heard is "nice guy misogynists.")"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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7d8c0e3
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Acting in stereotypically feminine ways makes it difficult for women to reach for the same opportunities as men, but defying expectations and reaching for those opportunities leads to being judged as undeserving and selfish.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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cd7c91b
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past my own feelings of guilt and insecurity, I feel grateful. These parents--mostly mothers--constitute a large amount of
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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2e44cf8
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when a husband and wife both are employed full-time, the mother does 40 percent more child care and about 30 percent more housework than the father.1 A 2009 survey found that only 9 percent of people in dual-earner marriages said that they shared housework, child care, and breadwinning evenly.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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2d4a7a6
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You take someone to the airport, it's clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. SALLY: Why? HARRY: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, "How come you never take me to the airport anymore?"
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Sheryl Sandberg |