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3c43281
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As women must be more empowered at work, men must be more empowered at home.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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3b1a5a2
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Counting blessings can actually increase happiness and health by reminding us of the good things in life.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what's good in our lives and from leaning in to the suck. It comes from analyzing how we process grief and from simply accepting that grief. Sometimes we have less control than we think. Other times we have more.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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5055f2b
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Anyone who wants her mate to be a true partner must treat him as an equal--and equally capable--partner. And if that's not reason enough, bear in mind that a study found that wives who engage in gatekeeping behaviors do five more hours of family work per week than wives who take a more collaborative approach.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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46a54ed
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And contrary to the popular notion that only unmarried women can make it to the top, the majority of the most successful female business leaders have partners.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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427e591
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It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don't be frightened: you can always change your mind." (Nora Ephron) (p.126)"
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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5a21bed
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Counterintuitively, long-term success at work often depends on not trying to meet every demand placed on us. (p.127)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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9afb4f3
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I take you to be mine in love. I promise to love you deliberately each day, to feel your joy and your sorrow as my own. Together, we will build a home filled with honor and honesty, comfort and compassion, learning and love. I take you to be mine in friendship. I vow to celebrate all that you are, to help you become the person you aspire to be. From this day forward, your dreams are my dreams and I dedicate myself to helping you fulfill the..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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fad3c09
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Studies from around the world have concluded that children benefit greatly from paternal involvement. Research over the last forty years has consistently found that in comparison to children with less-involved fathers, children with involved and loving fathers have higher levels of psychological well-being and better cognitive abilities.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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af890b3
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Women became 50 percent of the college graduates in the United States in the early 1980s.5 Since then, women have slowly and steadily advanced, earning more and more of the college degrees, taking more of the entry-level jobs, and entering more fields previously dominated by men. Despite these gains, the percentage of women at the top of corporate America has barely budged over the past decade.6 A meager twenty-three of the S&P 500 CEOs are..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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245a745
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The promise of equality is not the same as true equality. A
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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the result of creating a more equal environment will not just be better performance for our organizations, but quite likely greater happiness for all.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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5f2db5f
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spend more time comforting and hugging infant girls and more time watching infant boys play by themselves.22 Other cultural messages are more blatant. Gymboree once sold onesies proclaiming "Smart like Daddy" for boys and "Pretty like Mommy" for girls.23 The same year, J. C. Penney marketed a T-shirt to teenage girls that bragged, "I'm too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me."24 These things did not happen in 1951. They ..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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8e3ec50
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Fathers who want to drop out of the workforce entirely and devote themselves to child care can face extremely negative social pressure.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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ab8b84a
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We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events. After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P's can stunt recovery: (1) personalization--the belief that we are at fault; (2) pervasiveness--the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and (3) permanence--the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever. The three P's play li..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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af680f2
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Progress remains equally sluggish when it comes to compensation. In 1970, American women were paid 59 cents for every dollar their male counterparts made. By 2010, women had protested, fought, and worked their butts off to raise that compensation to 77 cents for every dollar men made.10 As activist Marlo Thomas wryly joked on Equal Pay Day 2011, "Forty years and eighteen cents." --
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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be7b406
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And while I don't believe in mapping out each step of a career, I do believe it helps to have a long-term dream or goal. A long-term dream does not have to be realistic or even specific. It may reflect the desire to work in a particular field or to travel throughout the world. Maybe the dream is to have professional autonomy or a certain amount of free time. Maybe it's to create something lasting or win a coveted prize. Some goals require m..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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0e340b2
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Men are continually applauded for being ambitious and powerful and successful, but women who display these same traits often pay a social penalty. Female accomplishments come at a cost.17
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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31bb5ff
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Most corporations love PowerPoint presentations, so I encouraged people not to prepare them for meetings with me, but instead to come with a simple list of topics. I repeated this frequently, but every meeting seemed to include a detailed PowerPoint presentation anyway.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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7ea88d1
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Of the hundreds of answers, most had one thing in common: the majority of regrets were about failures to act, not actions that failed. Psychologists have found that over time we usually regret the chances we missed, not the chances we took. As my mom often told me when I was growing up, "You regret the things you don't do, not the things you do."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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b857c81
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I learned from Fred that effective communication starts with the understanding that there is my point of view (my truth) and someone else's point of view (his truth). Rarely is there one absolute truth, so people who believe that they speak the truth are very silencing of others.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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An internal report at Hewlett-Packard revealed that women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the criteria listed. Men apply if they think they meet 60 percent of the requirements.7
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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740b61d
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Dr. Peggy McIntosh from the Wellesley Centers for Women, gave a talk called "Feeling Like a Fraud."1 She explained that many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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c1705e1
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I am also writing this for any man who wants to understand what a woman--a colleague, wife, mother, or daughter--is up against so that he can do his part to build an equal world. This
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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a9b8da1
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We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events. After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P's can stunt recovery: (1) personalization--the belief that we are at fault; (2) pervasiveness--the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and (3) permanence--the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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5cb593c
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The loop in your head repeats, "It's my fault this is awful. My whole life is awful. And it's always going to be awful."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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I will sometimes feel this awful.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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1373728
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Taking initiative pays off. It is hard to visualize someone as a leader if she is always waiting to be told what to do. Padmasree
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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f67c5f9
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He (John Steiner, former chief of staff in Treasury Department) told me to figure out what I wanted to do before I went to see the people who had the ability to hire me. That way I would not waste my one shot seeking general guidance, but would be able to discuss specific opportunities that they could offer. (p.69)
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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a7aecf0
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The students rated Heidi and Howard as equally competent, which made sense since "their" accomplishments were completely identical. Yet while students respected both Heidi and Howard, Howard came across as a more appealing colleague. Heidi, on the other hand, was seen as selfish and not "the type of person you would want to hire or work for."
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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fe50370
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It turns out that people who choose to be single are very satisfied with their lives.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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Of middle-aged adults who lost a spouse, 54 percent of men were in a romantic relationship a year later compared with only 7 percent of women.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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3daaaaf
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Namagatisia vstignuti vse, shche i zrobiti vse bezdoganno - naikrashchii sposib stati neshchasnoiu.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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3b78084
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men are promoted based on potential, while women are promoted based on past accomplishments.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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ee72785
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more involved dads,
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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a5fbaca
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in business, being risk averse can result in stagnation.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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0cf0a09
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From the moment we are born, boys and girls are treated differently.19 Parents tend to talk to girl babies more than boy babies.20 Mothers overestimate the crawling ability of their sons and underestimate the crawling ability of their daughters.21 Reflecting the belief that girls need to be helped more than boys, mothers often spend more time comforting and hugging infant girls and more time watching infant boys play by themselves.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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13cf384
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Research backs up this "fake it till you feel it" strategy. One study found that when people assumed a high-power pose (for example, taking up space by spreading their limbs) for just two minutes, their dominance hormone levels (testosterone) went up and their stress hormone levels (cortisol) went down. As a result, they felt more powerful and in charge and showed a greater tolerance for risk. A simple change in posture led to a significant..
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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90eb57b
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For men, professional success comes with positive reinforcement at every step of the way. For women, even when they're recognized for their achievements, they're often regarded unfavorably.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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9aaf615
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The most common metaphor for careers is a ladder, but this concept no longer applies to most workers. As of 2010, the average American had eleven jobs from the ages of eighteen to forty-six alone.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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5a50ec2
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We all want a job or role that truly excites and engages us. This search requires both focus and flexibility, so I recommend adopting two concurrent goals: a long-term dream and an eighteen-month plan.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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0ec1d3a
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Trying to overcorrect is a great way to find middle ground. In order for me to speak the right amount in a meeting, I have to feel as if I am saying very little.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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38d1a85
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Over the past decade, child care costs have risen twice as fast as the median income of families with children.8 The cost for two children (an infant and a four-year-old) to go to a day care center is greater than the annual median rent payment in every state in the country.
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Sheryl Sandberg |
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b34e1aa
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Also--and many might find this the most motivating factor--couples who share domestic responsibilities have more sex.
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Sheryl Sandberg |