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11 Benefits of Asking Questions "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." - Albert Einstein 1. Builds rapport. 2. Nurtures creativity. 3. Grows your knowledge and awareness. 4. Exercises critical thinking and problem-solving skills. 5. Makes the other person feel valued. 6. Helps you make thoughtful decisions. 7. The better our questions, the better our answers. 8. Keeps you agile and open..
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Susan C. Young |
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By taking a personal interest in other people's lives, you are demonstrating selflessness, grace, and respect.
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Susan C. Young |
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ASK YOURSELF: Your closest friends want to know all about the details of your life and want to hear what is happening in your life. How can you be that type of person for others?
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Susan C. Young |
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If you truly want to impress someone, remember points they shared in previous conversations and mention it when you reconnect.
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Susan C. Young |
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When you ask people about themselves, are you just being polite or do you truly want to know? When you focus your intention and questions on them, it makes them feel special and valued. However, if you don't sincerely want to know, it can backfire as appearing insincere.
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Susan C. Young |
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Encouraging quality communication will make it easier for you to establish rapport, gather information, and increase understanding. You can use this "fishing" technique for personal relationships, social events, sales calls, and professional correspondence."
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A closed-ended question, however, is one which could be answered with a one-word answer or a simple "yes" or "no." It can bring a dynamic dialogue to an awkward halt or stalemate. You can easily flip the encounter around by making a little more effort."
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Susan C. Young |
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When you sincerely want to connect on deeper levels and encourage other people to talk about themselves, use open-ended questions to stimulate your conversation and get the ball rolling.
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Socrates would teach his pupils by asking them intelligent and probing questions. By using their critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities, they could discover the answers for themselves and retain their lessons longer. By using this same approach for Socratic Selling or Socratic Communication, there is no telling how much you might teach and solve for another person, all the while creating a memorable encounter.
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So, how can you move beyond awkward silence with virtual strangers to becoming new friends? By asking great questions! Once a few inquiring questions were placed, I would let them do all the talking.
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Once you start looking, you will discover unlimited links and openers for nurturing camaraderie. Do you drive the same car? Did you attend the same college? Do you both write with your left hand? Love vacationing in Paris? Prefer sushi over pasta? Both have twins? Attend the same church? Each run marathons? Enjoy the same television shows? Have the same breed of dog? While downright basic, these shared commonalities can often bring a sense ..
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I recently heard of a real estate professional who LOVES to cook. So, her niche market? Foodies. She attends local restaurant events and cooking classes and turns strangers into friends and clients. Her closing gift to new homeowners? A recipe box. Then she sends new recipe postcards every month to tuck inside. Isn't that a smart way to stay connected in a meaningful way?
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In our high-tech world today, there are unlimited ways with which you can search for people, places, and events to connect you with like-minded people. Food enthusiasts? There are local cooking classes. Gardening fans? There are flower shows and garden expos. Kids in school? Join the PTA and get involved. There are clubs and groups for almost any interest these days and venturing out to make those connections is a powerful way to expand you..
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When all else fails, Mother Nature has provided you with a great social default for finding commonality with others. Since weather is a universally shared experience, it enables you to jump into a conversation with anybody and everybody. While discussing the weather may sound boring, trite, and predictable, it is a safe and the certain ice-breaker that can help you build commonality regardless of who you are addressing. As I write this, we ..
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Finding commonality with another person can help you create an instant bond by transcending social differences and going straight to creating rapport. Finding common ground allows you to connect the dots in the big picture to discover what feels most comfortable, how to connect, and where you might fit in when meeting new people.
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When people are like you, conversations flow naturally and feel more relaxed, don't they? You know what to say, how to talk, what to expect, and how to understand them on an intuitive level.
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Self-confident people are proud of their accomplishments, but can remain humble without bragging.
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Professional Networking "The first week I lived in Madison, WI, I sought a local chapter meeting for ATD (Association for Training Development). Having belonged to the same organization in Florida, I knew it would be a comfortable way to meet new people and make new friends. Knowing we would have a lot in common, I entered the room of strangers feeling confident and hopeful. As everyone took turns introducing themselves, it was easy to see..
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Instant Access "When my twins were born, I moved abruptly from being a professional career woman to a full-time, stay-at-home mom. The role shift opened a new door of commonality which surprised and delighted me. I was instantly welcomed into a special "Motherhood Club," where before I never would have related. It felt as if I was suddenly bonded with mothers worldwide. It's important to remember--nothing stays the same, nor do we."
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Memory Makes Magic Happen "Have you ever been away from someone for a while and when you are reunited after a long absence, they ask about something or someone whom you talked about previously? My friend Teresa Palm is an amazing massage therapist. Months can go by between our appointments, however, without missing a beat, she can start up our conversations exactly where we left off ages ago. Her memory has always impressed me and demonstra..
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Susan C. Young |
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A wise business practice is to become a prolific note-taker if you aren't already. When you've had a great conversation or interaction with someone--whether it is on a conference call, Skype, in a meeting, or even in passing--jot down a note or two about your time together. Then you can reference it the next time you see each other or speak again. Since most of us don't have as extraordinary a memory as my friend Teresa Palm, taking notes i..
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Show Them You CARE. In the business world, mastering conversational skills and paying attention to the details can take you to the top and help keep you there!
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Teddy Roosevelt has been credited with saying, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Think about that from a sales perspective."
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Susan C. Young |
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We've all known that one salesperson whose primary motivation in a transaction is to earn a commission--regardless of their customer's needs. From their body language to their self-driven talking points to the "close three times and then some" techniques-they come across as egocentric and uncaring."
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Susan C. Young |
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On the other hand, when presented with a service-minded professional who strives to deliver the best possible experience, aren't you duly impressed? They are genuinely interested in learning about your wants, needs, and desires to help ensure you achieve your goals. They are the kind of person you'll turn to again and again--not only for your own business but to refer to others as well.
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Susan C. Young |
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Be inquisitive. You already know what you know. A straightforward way to learn something new is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about life and work, about other people, and about yourself.
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Open-ended questions open doors for new discoveries and opportunities. They encourage others to speak their truths, share their experiences, and express their ideas.
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In medicine, prescription before diagnosis is malpractice. Asking the right questions will help you discover a person's needs and concerns so that you can respond intelligently and appropriately. Yet salespeople, consultants, or managers often try to push their solutions on you before they even know what your needs are. This is a fast way to alienate people and push you toward their competitor, isn't it?
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Use questions to find out where people are, where they want to be, and how you can help them cross the great divide. When I was in real estate, there were times when brand new clients would get into my car for a day of touring and house hunting. In many cases, I had never met them before. My first goal was to break the ice and build rapport as fast as possible so that our time together would be enjoyable, interactive, and successful for all..
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People love to talk about themselves. When you provide them with an opening and a platform for them to do so, you will be amazed by how your conversations can blossom.
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What do you do? It's amazing how people will qualify, quantify, judge, assess, and form complete opinions about you based on that one age-old question. It is a boring, uncreative default setting for attempting to engage a new person. Spice it up and try something new. Instead, ask "What do you do for fun?" Your creativity will make you more memorable and help you stand apart from the crowd."
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Susan C. Young |
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Wouldn't it be wonderful to enjoy this level of simplicity in all relationships, regardless of differences? You can. Begin taking the initiative to find common ground with others and you will soon lay solid foundations on which to build great first impressions.
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The romantic notion of "opposites attract" works well in fairy tales. However, science proves that "like attracts like" for healthy communication and successful relationships. Social psychologists have long relied upon the "Similarity Attraction Theory" to explain why we are more positively inclined toward people who are the most like ourselves. Similarity reduces uncertainty and gives us a comforting degree of psychological safety. It is n..
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Establishing social certainty helps you build trust, develop rapport, and strengthen your connection. However, the right questions might lead you to find a niche of commonality in someone who is very different from you. It can be professionally and personally rewarding.
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Susan C. Young |
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Along with the "Law of Attraction" there is also an "Attractor Factor" for easily building camaraderie and commonality for making a positive first impression. Seek to find: 1. Shared History 2. Shared Stories 3. Shared Interests 4. Shared Attitudes 5. Shared Experiences 6. Shared Beliefs and Values"
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Identifying, developing, and connecting on these points of reference will provide you with a rich resource of information from which to engage in stimulating conversations and connect on meaningful levels.
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This insightful quote I once heard stays with me: "Tell me what gives you your sense of importance and I will tell you what you are. That is the most important thing about you. That is what determines your character." Some people get their sense of importance through their charitable works and community service. Some get it through the diplomas on their walls and the letters behind their names, while others may get their sense of importance..
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Susan C. Young |
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Being brave is not for the light-hearted. Bravery takes fortitude--the very act of bravery prevents anyone from knowing you were ever afraid in the first place.
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13 Ways to Make Other People Feel Important 1. Ask people questions about themselves, their interests, their families, their passions and their lives. 2. Catch people doing things right, pat them on the back, and acknowledge them for a job well done. 3. Celebrate their successes. 4. Be lavish in your compliments and sincere in your praise. 5. Be appreciative and say thank you. 6. Listen with genuine interest. 7. Respect their opinions. 8...
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Susan C. Young |
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Every time a new client hires me for a keynote, workshop, or coaching session, the first questions I ask them are, "What are the 3 top challenges your organization is dealing with? What are your goals? What problems would you like for me to help solve?" Using their own answers, I am able to design a program that is customized specifically around their needs. It takes the focus off of Susan and centers my complete attention toward making the..
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Find Your Funny Bone . . . Life provides plenty of material for things for you to laugh at. Seek irony, coincidence, and the abundance of simple humor in life's little absurdities.
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Check Your Ego at the Door. A big part of creating valuable, long-term connections requires setting your ego aside. For some, it's a struggle to not be the center of attention, of the conversation, or of the universe! People feel more valued, respected, and connected when they feel seen and heard. And that's hard to do if it's always all about you. Once you get into the practice of connecting and communicating with people in a way that draw..
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Whether you master the art of asking questions to become a skilled communicator, start conversations, or to connect in a more meaningful way, questions can help you build rapport and strengthen relationships.
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Curiosity adds depth to what you know and to your life experience.
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Susan C. Young |