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fea4ed4
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Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head." Eddie DeChooch" --
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Janet Evanovich |
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79f1fa3
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I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.
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Janet Evanovich |
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90f60b0
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I hate mornings. They start so early.
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Janet Evanovich |
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07dbaf5
|
I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell," Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum"
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Janet Evanovich |
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e4c0525
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I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy
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Janet Evanovich |
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8e364d1
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In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.
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Janet Evanovich |
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f4ed21b
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He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said. [Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked." "I wish you hadn't told me that, babe." "Everyone I know wants to see you naked." "And you?" "Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wo..
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romance
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Janet Evanovich |
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2966f8a
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Calories don't count if they're connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.
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Janet Evanovich |
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e2c9d30
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I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.
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Janet Evanovich |
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ad65bae
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Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
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humour
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Janet Evanovich |
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df49043
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I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
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Janet Evanovich |
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96dbdcf
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I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.
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Janet Evanovich |
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b7effd9
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How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d766ec4
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One of us should stop her," Ranger said to Morelli, his eyes fixed on me. "Not going to be me," Morelli said. "Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something she wanted to do?" "Haven't had much success at it," Ranger said. Morelli rocked on his heels. "One thing I've learned about Stephanie over the years, she's not good at taking orders." "Has authority issues," Ranger said. "And if you piss her off, she'll get even. She ran me over..
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Janet Evanovich |
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96ee0e9
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She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight." [Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?" "Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home." I could feel the heat rush to my face. Ranger gave me the wolf smile. "I lied about it being tonight," he said." --
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romance
ranger
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Janet Evanovich |
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3dce227
|
Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
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plum
stephanie-plum
napping
intent
sleeping
thinking
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Janet Evanovich |
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c76b9b6
|
Truth is, I think naked men are kind of strange looking what with their doodles and ding-dong hanging loose like they do. Nevertheless, there's the curiosity thing. I guess it's another one of those car crash experiences, where you feel compelled to look even if you know you'll be horrified.
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Janet Evanovich |
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87097c4
|
Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who's knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that's some kind of record.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d8e4d8c
|
I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum
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exercise
humor
plum
stephanie-plum
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Janet Evanovich |
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a200fd0
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Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.
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Janet Evanovich |
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7b9dc2b
|
I don't have a lot of domestic instincts," Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down." I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file."
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romance
ranger
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Janet Evanovich |
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0b47704
|
The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. "Fainted," I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. "Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock." "Well, the rock fainted."
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Janet Evanovich |
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6f48767
|
I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman." -Ranger to Stephanie"
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romance
|
Janet Evanovich |
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b544c73
|
Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?" I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about." That had been true five minutes ago. Now that Ranger was standng in front of me I was thinking a cupcake wasn't what I actually needed.
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romance
stephanie
ranger
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Janet Evanovich |
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c8782d6
|
You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5eee8c7
|
Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c0187ea
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I'm sorry about your Porsche." "I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful." I was just sitting in your car!" Babe, you're a magnet for disaster."
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Janet Evanovich |
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0da4c6d
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Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked. "Not right now."
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Janet Evanovich |
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684664c
|
I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur"
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Janet Evanovich |
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6715203
|
Almost everybody I know has died," Grandma said. "Bunch of wimps."
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Janet Evanovich |
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c4f378e
|
I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all the confusion, what with being locked up in a refrigerator, I plumb forgot what was in here to start with. But being that this is a 45 magnum, the most powerful handgun in existence, and it could blow your head clean off, you just got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky today? Well, do you, punk?" Christ," Spi..
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Janet Evanovich |
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7567503
|
Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
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to-the-nines
morelli
ranger
stephanie-plum
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Janet Evanovich |
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8d97790
|
Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early." -Ranger"
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evanovich
stephanie
ranger
|
Janet Evanovich |
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2b7e7ff
|
You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-"
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romantic
|
Janet Evanovich |
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f6ba900
|
I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.
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Janet Evanovich |
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28b5ba9
|
The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.
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Janet Evanovich |
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66c051e
|
If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
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romance
ranger
|
Janet Evanovich |
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f7fb414
|
Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable.
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Janet Evanovich |
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a50fb87
|
Maybe next time we just open the door and start out with some bitch slapping.
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Janet Evanovich |
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66388ca
|
Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army." I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out. My mother froze, her fork poised in midair. That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life." I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got..
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humor
ranger
sobriquet
|
Janet Evanovich |
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34c5105
|
I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
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Janet Evanovich |
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83d505f
|
This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.
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Janet Evanovich |
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991277b
|
Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.
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romance
|
Janet Evanovich |
|
1e0fa56
|
If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her." Ranger"
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|
Janet Evanovich |