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5760910
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Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.
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Janet Evanovich |
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191bbb6
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I have your gun" I pulled the Ruger out of my bag and gave it to Ranger. He held the gun flat in his hand and looked at it. "It smells like orange blossoms." "I washed it and sprayed it with air freshener" "You washed it?" "I wore rubber gloves and scrubbed it with my vegetable brush. It was.. icky" He yanked open the driver's side door, pulled me out of the car, and kissed me. The kiss involved tongue, and a hand on my ass, and made my nip..
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Janet Evanovich |
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f4ee546
|
If I could just get Broom to cooperate, we could fly, Glo said. Then we wouldn't have to worry about traffic. Harry Potter didn't have to worry about traffic. You relize Harry Potter isn't real, right? Of course, but he could be. I mean, maybe not Harry Potter, but someone like him. Who's to say?
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harry-potter
humor
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Janet Evanovich |
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b416e8f
|
You know what this is?" Lula said. "This here's plane rage." Plane rage isn't allowed. It got taken off the allowed activities list along with eating. If you make a scene they'll hual you off in leg irons." Stephanie said. I'm tired of being stapped in here, too," Lula said. "This seat belt's too tight and it's giving me gas." Anything else?" There's no movie."
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Janet Evanovich |
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1386d43
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Was a fast easy reading, Good to take your mind off of anything serious for a while
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Janet Evanovich |
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a092d64
|
Did you bring the charms?" Wulf asked Diesel. Diesel took the charms from his pocket and held them in his palm so Wulf could see. "They have an excellent selection of baby carriages at Target," I whispered to Diesel. "Not now," Diesel said. "Get a grip." "Was I bad? DO I need to get punished? Maybe I need a good paddling." Wulf looked like he was thinking about rolling his eyes, and Diesel wrapped an arm around my shoulders and dragged..
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Janet Evanovich |
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1999546
|
I hate shopping for clothes," Kate said. "I liked when I was in the military and all I needed was camouflage gear." "Shopping can be fun. Especially when it's for a con. It's the first step in creating a character. Isn't there anything you enjoy buying? Lingerie? Shoes? Jewelry?" "Shoes are okay. I don't have to take my clothes off to try them on." "You don't like to take your clothes off?" "It's the lighting in the dressing rooms. It makes..
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stating-fact
kate-o-hare
lee-goldberg
nick-fox
janet-evanovich
|
Janet Evanovich |
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2f74613
|
I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then."
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Janet Evanovich |
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cce968e
|
Yeah, I'm a thief." "Honey, that's such a turn-on." He reached for her, and she jumped away. "Stand down," Kate said. "My hands are lethal weapons." Nick backed her against the wall and leaned into her. "I've go a better lethal weapon than you do," he said. "Wanna see it?" "No!" Good lord, she could feel his lethal weapon pressing against her belly. It was big and hard. And as much as she hated to admit it, his big, hard weapon was exactly ..
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lethal-weapon
kate-o-hare
lee-goldberg
nick-fox
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Janet Evanovich |
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d3319e9
|
When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank."
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humorous
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Janet Evanovich |
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bc4f6ae
|
Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist." "Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this."
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Janet Evanovich |
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02a4a12
|
You sure you don't want to go?" Grandma Mazur asked my mother. "I didn't know Moogey Bues," my mother told her. "I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger." "I wouldn't go either," Grandma Mazur said, "but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes..
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humor
grandma-mazur
sticking-fingers-in-eyes
stephanie-s-mom
stephanie-plum
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Janet Evanovich |
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914015c
|
I always know it's Sunday because I wake up feeling apologetic. That's one of the cool things about being a Catholic . . . it's a multifaceted experience. If you lose the faith, chances are you'll keep the guilt, so it isn't as if you've been skunked altogether.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1e0709a
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Be still my heart.
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Janet Evanovich |
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3383017
|
Sally put his gun back in his pants. "Guess I flunked the estrogen test." We all stared at his crotch, and Grandma said what Lula and I were thinking. "I thought that bulge was your dingdong,"Grandma said. "Jesus," Sally said, "who do you think I am, Thunder the Wonder Horse? My gun wouldn't fit in my purse." "You need to get a smaller gun," Lula said. "Ruins your lines with that big old Glock in your drawers."
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Janet Evanovich |
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69d5667
|
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that."
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stephanie
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Janet Evanovich |
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b01f786
|
Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?
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Janet Evanovich |
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cd4bb64
|
I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
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stephanie-plum
mystery
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Janet Evanovich |
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571817a
|
I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it comes to resiliency.
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Janet Evanovich |
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bb89be8
|
Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy. "I'll try," Ziggy said, "but it's a hard habit to break."
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stephine-plum
vampire
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Janet Evanovich |
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fbd3bd8
|
Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.
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Janet Evanovich |
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6f194bf
|
She doesn't know," Cate said. "Kellen is a secret. I didn't think my mother would approve." "Why wouldn't your mother approve?" Pugg asked. "It's my job," Kellen said. "I kill people. It pays well, but it's not universally socially acceptable."
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humor
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Janet Evanovich |
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c2973a7
|
I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don't want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We're hot.
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Janet Evanovich |
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47ca637
|
Ranger slung an arm around me and hugged me into him, and I could feel him laughing. "It's not funny," I said. "Babe, I haven't got a lot of funny in my life. Let me enjoy the moment." --
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Janet Evanovich |
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6516116
|
I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula
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Janet Evanovich |
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6ef5323
|
You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think?" Stuart Bagget"
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Janet Evanovich |
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c1c4ac3
|
I paused for a light at Hamilton and TWlfth and noticed the Nissan was running rough at idle. Two blocks later it backfired and stalled. I coaxed it into the center of the city. Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! A Trans Am pulled up next to me at a light. The Trans Am was filled with high school kids. One of them stuck his head out of the passenger-side window.
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stephanie-plum
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janet evanovich |
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6b59883
|
This is why I'm not married," Ranger said. "Women ask questions." "Unh!" I said, smacking my forehead with the heel of my hand. "That's not why you're not married. You're not married because you're ... impossible." He dragged me to him and kissed me, and I felt the kiss travel like lava to my doo-dah. "I have some issues to resolve," he said. No kidding. He gave my ponytail a playful tug and left."
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Janet Evanovich |
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c794d54
|
I've never been in this part of Trenton before. I don't feel comfortable driving around buildings that haven't got gang slogans sprayed on them. Look at this place. No boarded-up windows. No garbage in the gutter. No brothers selling goods on the street. Don't know how people can live like this.
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trenton
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Janet Evanovich |
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4a2b043
|
Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.
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Janet Evanovich |
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51bd4ee
|
There are four ways to manage stress. There's drugs, there's alcohol, there's sex, and there's doughnuts. I go with sex and doughnuts. I tried the other two and it wasn't any good. You being in a dry spell, you might have to rely on doughnuts.
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Janet Evanovich |
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bae5aa9
|
You're my bodyguard and lover." She shook her head. "Just your bodyguard." "He'll never believe I'm not sleeping with you." "You aren't." "Even I find that unbelievable," Nick said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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d295e70
|
And from where I was sitting his ass looked like little Bear's bed...not too hard, and not too soft, but just right.
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Janet Evanovich |
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42595d7
|
The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
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Janet Evanovich |
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b0c5576
|
It wasn't my fault.
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Janet Evanovich |
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87932cf
|
Tastykakes are just another of the many advantages of living in Jersey. They're made in Philly and shipped to Trenton in all their fresh squishiness. I read once that 439,000 Butterscotch Krimpets are baked every day. And not a heck of a lot of them find their way to New Hampshire. All that snow and scenery and what good does it do you without Tastykakes?
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Janet Evanovich |
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fcea797
|
There's always tomorrow." "Exactly," she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn't starve to death, she decided. Maybe she'd eat herself into obesity and explode. Death by doughnut."
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Janet Evanovich |
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62dba66
|
I did such a gigantic eye roll I almost fell over.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0763f17
|
Cooking wasn't so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didn't seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it ...
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Janet Evanovich |
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d1d4bfe
|
I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
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joe-morelli
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Janet Evanovich |
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a4517c7
|
I ordered a pitcher of beer," Morelli said. "Hope that's okay." "It's perfect. I need it now." Morelli whistled through his teeth, and everyone jumped in the restaurant. He raised his hand and mouthed "Beer" to the waitress. "Gee, that's smooth," I said to Morelli. "I'm a Jersey Italian, and my girl needs a drink." --
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Janet Evanovich |
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9787b0a
|
We were discussing a grisly double murder and Rodriguez was telling us all this in the same sort of conversational tone a person might use to pass on a favorite lasagna recipe. And I was responding with the same enthusiasm a new cook might show. I was simultaneously horrified and impressed with myself.
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Janet Evanovich |
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87d2e87
|
You know what your problem is? You got too many scruples. One or two is okay, but you get too many of them, and it clogs everything up." What she said made no sense at all, but was probably right. "I got some scruples," Lula said, "but I know when to stop. There's a point where you have to say enough is enough and screw scruples."
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Janet Evanovich |
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eb5b83e
|
The ballroom was empty of people but filled with round tables and chairs. It was set for a wedding party. White tablecloths with huge pink bows and pink and white artificial flower centerpieces, a two-foot riser with a long decorated table for the bridal party, a smaller round table next to the riser. The smaller table supported a massive wedding cake that was being cooled by a standing fan. "This is so romantic," I said to Ranger. "Does it..
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Janet Evanovich |