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d064ca0
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If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger. "Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked."
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stephanie
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Janet Evanovich |
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3a3b146
|
He squinted at me. "What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?" --
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randy-briggs
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Janet Evanovich |
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b2b2a9c
|
Do you see that man in the black Porsche?" I asked the women. They squinted out at Ranger. "Yes," they said."Your partner." "He's homeless. He's looking for a place to stay and he might be interested in renting Singh's room." Mrs.Apusenja's eyes widened. "We could use the income."She looked at Nonnie and then back at Ranger. "Is he married?" "Nope. He's single. He's a real catch." Connie did something between a gasp and a snort and buried h..
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funny
humor
ranger
stephanie-plum
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Janet Evanovich |
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0a3af23
|
Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both."-"
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Janet Evanovich |
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de50bc5
|
Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
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Janet Evanovich |
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d9a69d0
|
I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay.
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Janet Evanovich |
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b918888
|
Arson is a respected profession among certain subcultures in Jersey, and the good ones don't get caught. The good ones channel lightning and mysterious acts of spontaneous combustion.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5642862
|
Adaptation is one of the great advantages to being born and bred in Jersey. We're simply not bested by bad air or tainted water. We're like that catfish with lungs. Take us out of our environment and we can grow whatever body parts we need to survive. After Jersey the rest of the country's a piece of cake. You want to send someone into a fallout zone? Get him from Jersey. He'll be fine.
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Janet Evanovich |
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466fdec
|
Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
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Janet Evanovich |
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3111d62
|
I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing. "Props," Ranger told me. "Didn't want to look out of place." I didn't want to burst his fantasy bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman."
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Janet Evanovich |
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31730f4
|
From the look on your face, I'd say you know him." I nodded. "Sold him a cannoli when I was in high school." Connie grunted. "Honey, half of all the women in New Jersey have sold him their cannoli"
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Janet Evanovich |
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d6aebc2
|
Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil."
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Janet Evanovich |
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548195a
|
I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing. "Props," Ranger told me. "Didn't want to look out of place." I didn't want to burst his fantasy bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman."
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Janet Evanovich |
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58a19d3
|
The golden years are for pussies. We went straight to brass.
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Janet Evanovich |
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a12ca26
|
I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat. It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.' It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude.
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Janet Evanovich |
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214085d
|
It's fucking hard to be classy
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Janet Evanovich |
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9288a1a
|
It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due." Carl Costanza - Seven Up"
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Janet Evanovich |
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fe70a8f
|
I rented Ghostbusters, my all-time favorite inspirational movie. I picked up some microwave, popcorn, a KitKat, a bag of bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, and a box of instant hot chocolate with marshmallows. Do I know how to have a good time, or what?
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Janet Evanovich |
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ff163ce
|
Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said. Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked." --
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Janet Evanovich |
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9085ae2
|
You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie."
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Janet Evanovich |
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e77e57d
|
Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
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Janet Evanovich |
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a089b6d
|
That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli." I wasn't talking about Morelli. I was talking about us." That too," I said. Ranger sliced a bagel and looked for the toaster. It's broken,"I told him. He truned the boiler on and slid the bagel into the oven. That's surprisingly domestic for a man of mystery," I said to him. He looked at me over the rim of his coffee mug. "I like things hot."
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Janet Evanovich |
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18055b4
|
Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. "If you're looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you'd be with me this morning." "Did he make you take a blood oath that you'd protect me?" "He asked me if I had adequate health insurance."
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Janet Evanovich |
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8ac3f19
|
I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic.
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romance
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Janet Evanovich |
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bf57a72
|
Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.
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Janet Evanovich |
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e1228ac
|
You're not looking for a partner," Ranger said. "You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar?" "Everything," I said. "I just ate everything."
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Janet Evanovich |
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7ecdae2
|
Exercise improves your sex life. Ranger to Stephanie
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Janet Evanovich |
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9707261
|
Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
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Janet Evanovich |
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f8caf50
|
He reached out, opened the glove compartment, and took out a gun. It was a Smith & Wesson .38 five-shot special. It looked a lot like my gun. "I stopped by your apartment this morning and picked this up for you," Ranger said. "I found it in the cookie jar." "Tough guys always keep their gun in the cookie jar." "Name one." "Rockford." Ranger grinned. "I stand corrected."
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Janet Evanovich |
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c57911f
|
Stephanie] "This won't be so bad," I said to her, making an effort at convincing myself. "How about your blanket? We could wrap him up in the blanket. Then we could pick him up without actually touching him." "I suppose that'd be all right," Lula said. "We could give it a try" I spread the blanket on the ground beside Elliot Harp, took a deep breath, hooked my fingers around his belt and rolled him onto the blanket. I jumped back, squeeze..
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stephanie-plum
|
Janet Evanovich |
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6ac86fd
|
Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy.
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Janet Evanovich |
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6c811ca
|
Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie." "Does this involve death?" "Not yet." "Does this involve sex?" "Not yet." "I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me."
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stephanie
|
Janet Evanovich |
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87857d7
|
I pulled into the Grand Union parking lot and drove to the end of the mall where the bank was located. I parked at a safe distance from other cars, exited the BMW, and set the alarm. You want me to stay with the car in case someone's riding around with a bomb in his backseat looking for a place to put it?" Lula asked.
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janet evanovich |
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5ff1010
|
There were two doors that opened off the hallway. The doors were labeled PUSSY and MOTHERFUCKERS. "I'm taking the Motherfuckers door," I said to Ranger. "No way. That's my door." "Well, I'm sure as hell not taking the Pussy door."
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Janet Evanovich |
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1211b90
|
Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing." "You're in love with me?" "You didn't know that?" "I did, but it's nice to hear." "Scares the hell out of me."
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stephanie-plum
|
Janet Evanovich |
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77e2437
|
Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?
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Janet Evanovich |
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78c465f
|
THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me--not forever, but periodically.
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Janet Evanovich |
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49c9fdf
|
This is a little awkward," I said, "but my mother just ran over the rabbit." "Ran over?" "As in roadkill. We're not sure what to do about it." "Where are you?" "Giovichinni's, buying lunch meat." "And the rabbit?" "Gone. He was with two other guys. They scooped him up off the road and drove away with him." There was a long silence on the phone. "I'm fucking speechless," Morelli finally said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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ee02cfd
|
Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator." Stephanie Plum"
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Janet Evanovich |
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4c032be
|
You owe me!" -Stephanie "Why do I owe you?" -Joe "I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie "Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property." -Joe "Well if you are going to be picky about it...." -Stephanie"
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Janet Evanovich |
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189d54b
|
If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0072173
|
Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat; it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.
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Janet Evanovich |
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6a7cf6a
|
The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics." Connie Rosolli"
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Janet Evanovich |
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4680254
|
I checked my pocketbook to make sure I had the essentials... beeper, tissues, hair spray, flashlight, cuffs, lipstick, gun with bullets, recharged cell phone, recharged stun gun, hairbrush, gum, pepper spray, nail file. Was I a kick-ass bounty hunter, or what?"(Three to get deadly)Janet evanovich"
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Janet Evanovich |