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b71cb0c
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I'm going to get her good. She's messed with me one time too many. Remember when she called me an old slut?' Grandma whacked a carrot in half. 'Well, I'm not all that old.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1069d02
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Stand back. I'm going to give the eye.' Grandma pulled a .45 long barrel out of her black patent leather purse and pointed it at Bella. 'You put your finger to your eye and I'll put a hole in your head that's so big you could push a potato through it.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0148950
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You do understand that your life isn't normal, right?' 'Barrel was texting and he stepped off the curb without looking,' I said. 'But you were here,' Morelli said. 'How does it happen that you're always in the precise spot when disaster strikes? Your car's been blown up how many times? And it's never your fault. Remember when you fell off a fire escape into dog diarrhea? And the time you dated a serial killer?' 'I liked that serial killer,'..
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Janet Evanovich |
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346cb8d
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You don't mind if I take a picture of this guy with my cell phone, do you? I need to prove he's dead.' 'Knock yourself out,' Morelli said. 'Last time an FTA of yours went dead you asked the EMTs to drive him to the courthouse.' 'There's a lot of paperwork when the FTA is dead,' I said. 'It's easier when you can have him show up in court.
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Janet Evanovich |
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2efdc4f
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the ancient Greeks thought there were four kinds of love. Storge, or familial love. Philia, or friendship. Eros, or romantic love, and agape, or unconditional love.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1b248d0
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Lucille has me going to Sex Addicts Anonymous.' 'How's that working for you?' Lula asked. 'It's a nightmare. I go there, and I'm in a room filled with perverts. It's like being in a bakery where everything is free and you can't eat anything.
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Janet Evanovich |
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ada1203
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I'm only getting one doughnut," Lula said, getting out of the Firebird. "I'm on a new diet where I only have one of anything. Like I can have one pea. And I can have one piece of asparagus. And I can have one loaf of bread."
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Janet Evanovich |
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28a1a58
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You would let nine million dollars sit under this concrete?' 'Yeah.' He toed the concrete. 'I like my floor. The guys did a good job on it. It's nice and smooth.' 'If we got married and you died, I'd have this floor up before your body got cold.' 'As long as you don't slit my throat while I'm sleeping.' He looked down at me. 'You wouldn't, would you?' 'Not for money.
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Janet Evanovich |
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cb4a3fd
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He exposed himself,' I said. 'Men aren't supposed to go around exposing themselves at unsuspecting women.' 'Well, technically none of us was unsuspecting,' Grandma said. 'We wait for him to show up. I guess it's one of them generation things. You get to an age and you look forward to seeing a winkie at four in the afternoon when you're peeling potatoes for supper.
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Janet Evanovich |
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2078c6c
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The morally correct answer is yes, but the practical answer is no.
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Janet Evanovich |
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937ec82
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out I was going to crash the car into a telephone pole.
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Janet Evanovich |
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cc3fd73
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It is written by the Sage that you, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
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Janet Evanovich |
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55143d6
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Are you sure you don't know where Jimmy is hiding?' 'Maybe I'll remember if you show me your tits.' 'That's disgusting. This is a viewing. There's a dead woman in there.' 'How about if I asked to see them in a bar?' 'No.' 'Suppose I bought you dinner?' 'No.' 'What if I was in the hospital with a heart attack?' 'No.' 'Boy, you're tough. Most women would go for the heart attack.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1209513
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I heaved a large sigh of resignation and pushed off on my three-mile route, mapped out with great care to avoid hills and bakeries.
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Janet Evanovich |
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ee57acc
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I'd criticized foreign governments for using chemical warfare, and here I was buying nerve gas from a woman who waxed off all her pubic hair.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0d8c809
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That sounds like something sick," Lula said. "What kind of a person would participate in a cornhole competition? I personally wouldn't be involved in anything to do with cornholes."
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Janet Evanovich |
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33f7892
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You underestimate me. I'm pretty fucking mean." Morelli grinned. "You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."
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Janet Evanovich |
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664c895
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I've noticed you only talk ghetto half of the time." "I'm multi-lingual," Ranger said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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990a698
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My first stop was the supermarket. Not bad this early in the morning because it takes the seniors time to get up and running. By ten, they'd start to roll in, clogging up the lot with their handicap-tagged cars. Being a senior citizen in Jersey is a lot like belonging to the Mob. A certain attitude is expected. If you don't respect a Mob member in Jersey, you could get shot. If you don't respect a senior, they'll ram a shopping cart into yo..
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Janet Evanovich |
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16e2b39
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Will you promise to pick up after yourself?" "No, but I'll hire a cleaning lady."
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Janet Evanovich |
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a3854d3
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A gift card says I feel obligated to get you something, but I don't care enough to put any effort into finding just the right gift.
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Janet Evanovich |
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ecd5da9
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Stephanie Plum, master of rationalization. Believe whatever the moment calls for.
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Janet Evanovich |
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21839c8
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artificial intelligence
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Janet Evanovich |
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21797b3
|
Greeks thought there were four kinds of love. Storge, or familial love. Philia, or friendship. Eros, or romantic love, and agape, or unconditional love.
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Janet Evanovich |
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4e1450d
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The smiling old man at the wheel had a spray-on tan, capped teeth, and was wearing a toupee. His face was pulled so tight that the double chin above his cravat might once have been his scrotum.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0253996
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Nothing personal? You've harassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting someone pregnant is pretty fucking personal! Jesus, isn't it enough I'm accused of murder? What are you, the bounty hunter from hell?
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Janet Evanovich |
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23a057b
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I give people gift cards," Lula said. "You could buy them in the supermarket. They're easy. There's gift cards for everything from Starbucks to Target and in between. I like them on account of the message they send. I figure it puts people on notice. A gift card says I feel obligated to get you something, but I don't care enough to put any effort into finding just the right gift. Gives people some idea of their place in your life, you see w..
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Janet Evanovich |
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47ef5ab
|
Their tiny villages were razed, the hillsides were shaved off, and everything was dumped into the water between the two islands to create one completely flat piece of land for a new international airport.
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Janet Evanovich |
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e6c9c44
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opened in 1874.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c283f99
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I hope I'm not intruding,' Morelli said. 'I know you weren't expecting company.' This is the opening statement that will get you into any burg house. No housewife worth her salt will ever admit to having her house not up to company twenty-four hours a day. Jack the Ripper would have easy access if he used this line.
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Janet Evanovich |
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f69ec87
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Ferrell.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d14a136
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Porsche Cayenne. It was his personal fleet car. Very luxe but equipped with ankle restraints bolted onto the
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Janet Evanovich |
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4cdc113
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The other hand wanted to wrap itself around Ranger's most perfect body part and not let go.
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Janet Evanovich |
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f00626e
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was dressed in black jeans, black motorcycle boots, a black T-shirt, and a black leather motorcycle jacket.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c2f21f2
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There was no expression to his face. He looked like he'd seen it all and didn't think much of it.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1315921
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Why would Munch want barium?
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Janet Evanovich |
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e53584b
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I'm telling you, it's fucking hard to be classy," she said. T"
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Janet Evanovich |
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fb6287e
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Where's my candy bar?" Lula asked. "I don't have" --
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Janet Evanovich |
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78fc0f7
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carton and sleep in my bed." "Maybe I can arrest him for"
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Janet Evanovich |
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33ef744
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You bet your ass. I take pride in my appearance." She looked down and made a boob adjustment, hoisting the girls up a couple inches. "You never know when Mr. Good Enough is gonna come along. I like to be ready."
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Janet Evanovich |
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73cfbeb
|
The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt. My
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Janet Evanovich |
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1568905
|
To reach the cathedral's entrance, Kate had to go down a narrow cobblestone street, a bottleneck of restaurants, coffeehouses, and Leonidas chocolate shops, all crammed tightly together and stuck to the side of the church like barnacles.
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Janet Evanovich |
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533a273
|
Every two feet there seemed be another Leonidas chocolate cafe, the Starbucks of Belgium. The Leonidas cafes were inescapable, so she surrendered and got herself a hot chocolate.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d16b606
|
Never underestimate maternal rage.
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Janet Evanovich |