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78cdd32
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flare
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Janet Evanovich |
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Dear Lord,' Lula said, 'Bless this disgusting, swelled-up groundhog and take him into the Kingdom of Heaven or wherever it is that dead groundhogs are supposed to go. Amen.' We both made the sign of the cross. 'I would have said more, but I didn't really know the deceased,' Lula said.
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Janet Evanovich |
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92af6fb
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Ramos drank a shot, then he lit up and dragged the smoke deep into his lungs. 'Ahh," he said on the exhale. Sometimes I envy people who smoke. They always look so happy when they suck in that first lungful of tar. I can't think of many things that make me that happy. Maybe birthday cake."
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Janet Evanovich |
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a4dc316
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key to true happiness is lowered expectations.
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Janet Evanovich |
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You got no control.' 'Excuse me?' my mother said. 'No control? I am the queen of control. Look at this family. I have a daughter in Disney World with Oogily-Woogily Smoochikins. I have a granddaughter who thinks she's a horse. I have a mother who thinks she's a teenager.' She turned to me. 'And you! I don't even know where to begin.
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Janet Evanovich |
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42489c8
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He had one foot on the floor, one foot hanging over the armrest, and Carl was sleeping on his chest. It was endearing
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Janet Evanovich |
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7333db6
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He couldn't understand that, she thought, because he had no purpose to his life. He was a couch potato. He'd reverted back to childhood. He was a wasteoid. He was the man of her dreams, and she was afraid living with him would be a nightmare. His laziness and lack of motivation would drive her crazy
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Janet Evanovich |
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ad28d98
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Being alone is different from being lonely, you know.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c6eecb2
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And then I had to decide if I wanted shoes that kicked ass, or were good for ass-kickin', on account of there's a difference.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c2164d1
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My favored exercise was walking the length of the mall to get to Cinnabon.
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Janet Evanovich |
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4d9603d
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Lula got into line, and I relaxed in Ranger's Mercedes. Vlatko was out of the picture. Ranger was safe. I was wearing my own underwear. Life was good.
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Janet Evanovich |
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634a584
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We went to the wall and looked down at Vlatko, sprawled on the road below us. 'Do you think he's okay?' I asked. 'Babe,' Ranger said. 'He's one inch thick.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d979f95
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He sometimes thought he'd like to become an alcoholic, but he couldn't afford the liquor.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5fb5f2d
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made myself a peanut butter and olive sandwich,
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Janet Evanovich |
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d5fd911
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You had a strange childhood." "Everyone's childhood is strange. It prepares you for the strangeness of adulthood."
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Janet Evanovich |
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07d3287
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zombie, all you have to do is douse your shop in my stink spray.
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Janet Evanovich |
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f323c38
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I always wanted to eat with a Negro," Grandma said. "Yeah, well, I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman," Lula said. "So I guess this works out good." Grandma and Lula did some complicated handshake thing. "Bitchin'," Grandma said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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52c6a53
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Have you ever thought about seeing a healthcare professional? I could find someone who would help you better understand the power of the amulet.' 'Healthcare is just another way of allowing employers and the government to control you. What's the first thing they do when you step into a doctor's office? They take your clothes. It's a power grab. A naked man has no power.' Clearly he doesn't know Ranger.
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Janet Evanovich |
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80a1ce8
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All us good citizens in Jersey got attitude. We got pride. We got brass balls the size of watermelons. We got rude hand gestures and loaded guns... most of us. It's not like we're a pushover state like California. If you want to make points and get extra virgins when you blow yourself up, clearly Jersey is the place to accomplish that, you see what I'm saying? It's not like we're easy.
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Janet Evanovich |