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cdfa2f4
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after major-league criminals who couldn't be caught through legal means. So Nick remained a major-league criminal himself, secretly working for the FBI, and Kate remained a top FBI field agent, secretly working with an international fugitive. And that's why Kate was currently taking the curves on Sunset like it was the Talladega Superspeedway. She was hoping to catch Nick in his Sunset Strip penthouse. Technically, the penthouse wasn't Nick..
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Janet Evanovich |
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f5f1cda
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And we're going to bring him in." "How are you gonna do that? You got an elephant gun? You got Ranger in the trunk of your car?" "I have you. I'm going to send you into Fat Dave's and you're going to charm Winkle." "That might not be a bad idea," Lula said. "I am charming. I could charm the ass off him." "Exactly. And then we convince him that once we get him rebonded he's going to have a really good time." "He might even know my reputation..
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Janet Evanovich |
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9f7574e
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And I was careful to balance out my meal with something from different major food groups. I got fried protein, tasty carbohydrates, and gravy." "Gravy isn't a food group." "Say what?"
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Janet Evanovich |
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4c76ee5
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haunches, looking dejected. "Where's the other monkey?" I asked him. Carl looked up. The monkey was in a tree. "What's he doing there?" Carl shrugged. "This was a stupid idea," I said to Diesel. "Yeah, but at least you walked off your sausage-and-egg sandwich. It would have gone straight to your ass." "I'm going back to Gail's house, and then"
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Janet Evanovich |
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78cdd32
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flare
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Janet Evanovich |
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2b84d71
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Dear Lord,' Lula said, 'Bless this disgusting, swelled-up groundhog and take him into the Kingdom of Heaven or wherever it is that dead groundhogs are supposed to go. Amen.' We both made the sign of the cross. 'I would have said more, but I didn't really know the deceased,' Lula said.
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Janet Evanovich |
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92af6fb
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Ramos drank a shot, then he lit up and dragged the smoke deep into his lungs. 'Ahh," he said on the exhale. Sometimes I envy people who smoke. They always look so happy when they suck in that first lungful of tar. I can't think of many things that make me that happy. Maybe birthday cake."
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Janet Evanovich |
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a4dc316
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key to true happiness is lowered expectations.
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Janet Evanovich |
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cfbeca6
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You got no control.' 'Excuse me?' my mother said. 'No control? I am the queen of control. Look at this family. I have a daughter in Disney World with Oogily-Woogily Smoochikins. I have a granddaughter who thinks she's a horse. I have a mother who thinks she's a teenager.' She turned to me. 'And you! I don't even know where to begin.
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Janet Evanovich |
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42489c8
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He had one foot on the floor, one foot hanging over the armrest, and Carl was sleeping on his chest. It was endearing
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Janet Evanovich |
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7333db6
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He couldn't understand that, she thought, because he had no purpose to his life. He was a couch potato. He'd reverted back to childhood. He was a wasteoid. He was the man of her dreams, and she was afraid living with him would be a nightmare. His laziness and lack of motivation would drive her crazy
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Janet Evanovich |
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ad28d98
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Being alone is different from being lonely, you know.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c6eecb2
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And then I had to decide if I wanted shoes that kicked ass, or were good for ass-kickin', on account of there's a difference.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c2164d1
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My favored exercise was walking the length of the mall to get to Cinnabon.
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Janet Evanovich |
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4d9603d
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Lula got into line, and I relaxed in Ranger's Mercedes. Vlatko was out of the picture. Ranger was safe. I was wearing my own underwear. Life was good.
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Janet Evanovich |
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634a584
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We went to the wall and looked down at Vlatko, sprawled on the road below us. 'Do you think he's okay?' I asked. 'Babe,' Ranger said. 'He's one inch thick.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d979f95
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He sometimes thought he'd like to become an alcoholic, but he couldn't afford the liquor.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5fb5f2d
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made myself a peanut butter and olive sandwich,
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Janet Evanovich |
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d5fd911
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You had a strange childhood." "Everyone's childhood is strange. It prepares you for the strangeness of adulthood."
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Janet Evanovich |
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07d3287
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zombie, all you have to do is douse your shop in my stink spray.
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Janet Evanovich |
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f323c38
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I always wanted to eat with a Negro," Grandma said. "Yeah, well, I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman," Lula said. "So I guess this works out good." Grandma and Lula did some complicated handshake thing. "Bitchin'," Grandma said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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52c6a53
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Have you ever thought about seeing a healthcare professional? I could find someone who would help you better understand the power of the amulet.' 'Healthcare is just another way of allowing employers and the government to control you. What's the first thing they do when you step into a doctor's office? They take your clothes. It's a power grab. A naked man has no power.' Clearly he doesn't know Ranger.
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Janet Evanovich |
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80a1ce8
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All us good citizens in Jersey got attitude. We got pride. We got brass balls the size of watermelons. We got rude hand gestures and loaded guns... most of us. It's not like we're a pushover state like California. If you want to make points and get extra virgins when you blow yourself up, clearly Jersey is the place to accomplish that, you see what I'm saying? It's not like we're easy.
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Janet Evanovich |
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f69ec87
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Ferrell.
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Janet Evanovich |
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8c8edb9
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Girl, you could use those gift cards!
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Janet Evanovich |
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0fb58c6
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Are you hungry?" Grandma asked me. "Do you need breakfast?" "I'm famished!" --
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Janet Evanovich |
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5db9024
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Say what? There's no 'and he got naked and waved his magic wand?' 'Nope,' Connie said. 'No magic wand. She didn't get to see the wand.' 'Well, you know he got one,' Lula said. 'How come he didn't wave it and make her a happy princess?
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Janet Evanovich |
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34b9046
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I introduced myself and told him I was looking for his dad. 'Haven't seen him,' he said. 'We aren't close. He's an even bigger dick than me. I mean, dude, he named me Oswald.
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Janet Evanovich |
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610f385
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You could always count on melted cheese to have a calming effect.
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Janet Evanovich |
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35ccd9b
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I carted the basket into my bedroom, set it on the floor, and my cell phone rang. 'Bitch,' Joyce Barnhardt said when I answered. 'Do you have a problem?' 'You poisoned me.' 'I don't know what you're talking about.' 'Don't play dumb. You knew exactly what you were doing when you forced that pork on me.' 'Gee, I'd really like to talk to you, Joyce, but I have to go do something.' 'I'll get you for this. As soon as I can leave the bathroom.
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Janet Evanovich |
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512e2cc
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Okay, but who knows what happens at night? They could come alive like the zombies." I turned the corner and drove to my parents' house. "You need cake." "Hell, yeah."
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Janet Evanovich |
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4305f94
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I sent Hal and Rafael to keep an eye on you, and I went to check on a commercial account in Whitehorse. Rafael called to tell me Lula went in with a rocket launcher, so I skipped Whitehorse. I pulled into the lot seconds before you destroyed Billings Foods.
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Janet Evanovich |
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828bd86
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She's a silly old lady,' my mother said. 'You could be a good Christian and turn the other cheek.' 'I'm a plenty good Christian,' Grandma said, 'but I got it on good authority that God wants me to get Bella for Him.
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Janet Evanovich |
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b71cb0c
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I'm going to get her good. She's messed with me one time too many. Remember when she called me an old slut?' Grandma whacked a carrot in half. 'Well, I'm not all that old.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1069d02
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Stand back. I'm going to give the eye.' Grandma pulled a .45 long barrel out of her black patent leather purse and pointed it at Bella. 'You put your finger to your eye and I'll put a hole in your head that's so big you could push a potato through it.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0148950
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You do understand that your life isn't normal, right?' 'Barrel was texting and he stepped off the curb without looking,' I said. 'But you were here,' Morelli said. 'How does it happen that you're always in the precise spot when disaster strikes? Your car's been blown up how many times? And it's never your fault. Remember when you fell off a fire escape into dog diarrhea? And the time you dated a serial killer?' 'I liked that serial killer,'..
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Janet Evanovich |
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346cb8d
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You don't mind if I take a picture of this guy with my cell phone, do you? I need to prove he's dead.' 'Knock yourself out,' Morelli said. 'Last time an FTA of yours went dead you asked the EMTs to drive him to the courthouse.' 'There's a lot of paperwork when the FTA is dead,' I said. 'It's easier when you can have him show up in court.
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Janet Evanovich |
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2efdc4f
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the ancient Greeks thought there were four kinds of love. Storge, or familial love. Philia, or friendship. Eros, or romantic love, and agape, or unconditional love.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1b248d0
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Lucille has me going to Sex Addicts Anonymous.' 'How's that working for you?' Lula asked. 'It's a nightmare. I go there, and I'm in a room filled with perverts. It's like being in a bakery where everything is free and you can't eat anything.
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Janet Evanovich |
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ada1203
|
I'm only getting one doughnut," Lula said, getting out of the Firebird. "I'm on a new diet where I only have one of anything. Like I can have one pea. And I can have one piece of asparagus. And I can have one loaf of bread."
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Janet Evanovich |
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28a1a58
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You would let nine million dollars sit under this concrete?' 'Yeah.' He toed the concrete. 'I like my floor. The guys did a good job on it. It's nice and smooth.' 'If we got married and you died, I'd have this floor up before your body got cold.' 'As long as you don't slit my throat while I'm sleeping.' He looked down at me. 'You wouldn't, would you?' 'Not for money.
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Janet Evanovich |
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cb4a3fd
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He exposed himself,' I said. 'Men aren't supposed to go around exposing themselves at unsuspecting women.' 'Well, technically none of us was unsuspecting,' Grandma said. 'We wait for him to show up. I guess it's one of them generation things. You get to an age and you look forward to seeing a winkie at four in the afternoon when you're peeling potatoes for supper.
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Janet Evanovich |
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2078c6c
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The morally correct answer is yes, but the practical answer is no.
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Janet Evanovich |
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937ec82
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out I was going to crash the car into a telephone pole.
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Janet Evanovich |