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65b325d
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By the time I questioned Briggs late this afternoon, there were only two dogs that hadn't been adopted. And he wanted to keep those two. And he said to tell you he got the job. He's the new weatherman on the evening news. Some cable station. I didn't get all the details. Might have been the local Fox affiliate.
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Janet Evanovich |
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652583c
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He stood out because he had a slight British accent and an odd tattoo on his neck. A skull and a flower.
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Janet Evanovich |
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46e669c
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total sense, but it was as
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Janet Evanovich |
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7aebd77
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There's a trade show going on this week for Russian vodka," Ranger said. "This consulate will be hosting a meet-and-greet party at five o'clock. That would be a good time for us to slip in."
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Janet Evanovich |
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6a7ea2d
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so I pulled the scrunchie off my ponytail.
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Janet Evanovich |
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9a5b403
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letting my skirt ride up to a couple inches below my doo-dah,
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Janet Evanovich |
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87b0f29
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He doesn't look gay." "Of course he does. His skin is flawless and his haircut is perfect. And look at his slacks. Not a single wrinkle." "How does he do that?" Leo asked. "I always get the wrinkles."
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Janet Evanovich |
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8c3f4ac
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The knife easily cut through the silky material of my shirt and my bra, and a huge wad of toilet paper fell out.
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Janet Evanovich |
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6bdc83c
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About this psychopath," Morelli said. "I went to New York with Ranger following a lead on the polonium thing. I had a run-in with this crazy guy named Vlatko who planned the poisoning, and he sort of slashed me." "Where was Ranger when all this was happening?" "He was snooping around in the Russian consulate."
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Janet Evanovich |
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8247be4
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My grandmother says your grandmother is stalking her.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d7fdc36
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Who else's wife did you sleep with?" Lula asked. "Recently?" Lula turned to me. "And we're supposed to be keeping him from getting a rocket up his butt why?"
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Janet Evanovich |
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e69cd00
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I'll go with you," Lula said. "Maybe I'll get a look at the killer Chihuahuas. And besides, I want to ride in Ranger's Porsche."
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Janet Evanovich |
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83c6d2d
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Ranger isn't my boyfriend. Ranger and I have a professional relationship." "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't play hide the salami once in a while."
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Janet Evanovich |
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3d309f9
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No way," she said. "The lid was already up." "Did you stick the dead guy with a pin to make sure he was dead?" "I didn't do that either. And I only did that once,"
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Janet Evanovich |
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8f9724c
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What's up?" I asked my mother. "I just got fourteen phone calls about someone hitting Joseph's Grandma Bella in the face with a chocolate cream pie when she was walking out of the funeral home. They said she was going out the side door for some reason, and someone came out of nowhere and hit her with the pie." "Did they know who did it?" Grandma asked. "Bella said it was you."
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Janet Evanovich |
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c992885
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The Chihuahua pack was snoozing at his feet. All heads came up when I approached. "I brought food for the minions," I said to Forest. "Do you hear that, my teensy minions? The nice lady brought us food."
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Janet Evanovich |
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f3b2a44
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We're taking Forest to the police station, and then I'm taking the minions home with me. I'll stash them in my apartment until someone springs Forest. They haven't put the carpet down yet, and Briggs is there to babysit.
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Janet Evanovich |
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702751a
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Do you believe in God?" I asked Lula. "Fuckin' A I believe in God. Don't you believe in God?" "I believe in something. It's vague."
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Janet Evanovich |
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47c6644
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I swear, you're a crazy person. You go around up to your eyeballs in snakes and dead people and exploding beavers. It's just not normal. Even when I was a 'ho, my life wasn't that freaky.
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Janet Evanovich |
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19e49e8
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The lights were low, and Ranger was naked and lounging on the bed, waiting for me to return. I did a slow scan of his perfect body.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5382bd5
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Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines. Holy
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Janet Evanovich |
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4da2e9a
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You never know when Mr. Good Enough is gonna come along. I like to be ready.
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Janet Evanovich |
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87bd3b9
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I went to the beauty salon today and got spruced up," Grandma said. "Ever since Mildred Frick called me a slut my phone hasn't stopped ringing. I got two dates for the weekend." "It might not be such a good thing to have men calling you because they think you're a slut," I said. "They're only going to be after one thing." "I hope that's true. I don't want to find out I went blond and bought all them thongs for nothing."
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stephanie-plum
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Janet Evanovich |
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2f8ec2d
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Ranger was slouched on the couch, watching a ball game. Bob was beside him, his big shaggy orange Bob head resting on Ranger's leg.
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Janet Evanovich |
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e65d0f3
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I thought you didn't drink coffee," I said to Ranger. "What about your body being a temple?" He sipped at the coffee. "It's my disguise. It goes with the haircut." "Will you let your hair grow back?" "Probably." "And then you'll stop drinking coffee?" "You ask a lot of questions," Ranger said. "Just trying to figure this out."
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Janet Evanovich |
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1c534c2
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I ran through the store gathering together some basic foods. Bread, cheese, Tastykakes, peanut butter, cereal, milk, Tastykakes, eggs, frozen pizza, Tastykakes, orange juice, apples, lunch meat, and Tastykakes.
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Janet Evanovich |
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9689bd0
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The law is for people who have nothing to hide.
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Janet Evanovich |
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04aad5f
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And Larry Burlew was a slug. She'd join the Foreign Legion before she'd marry Larry Burlew.
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Janet Evanovich |
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12a4379
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You're working with a guy named Tank?" "He's big." "Jesus," Morelli said. "I had to fall in love with a woman who works with a guy named Tank." "You love me?" "Of course I love you. I just don't want to marry you."
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Janet Evanovich |
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66957cf
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talking, drinking, and laughing again, like
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Janet Evanovich |
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a76512e
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I got a body stuck to my windshield!" Lula yelled. "I can't drive like this! I can't get my wipers to work. How am I supposed to drive with a dead guy on my wipers?"
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Janet Evanovich |
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d75735e
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We invited that nice young man, Dave Brewer, who swindled all those people out of their houses," Grandma said, pulling a meatloaf out of the oven."
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Janet Evanovich |
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9a8e016
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What if there was no house keeper? What if it had been a ploy to get a woman alone?
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Janet Evanovich |
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e0bf399
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I don't believe this," Diesel said. "It just gets worse and worse. Bad I enough I have to play cupid to a butcher, button maker and veterinarian...now have to be sex therapist for a guy who gives people a rash."
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mystery
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Janet Evanovich |
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484b195
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passenger seat, and Ranger leaned over and kissed me just below my ear. It was a hello kiss. Nothing serious. If I wanted it to get serious all I had to do was smile.
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Janet Evanovich |
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2a5121a
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I swear," Hal said, "this place is like the Bermuda Triangle. It's friggin' spooky. I went out to feed the monkeys last night, and I saw the Easter Bunny walking down the road with Sasquatch. And now there are rockets shooting into the sky from nowhere." --
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Janet Evanovich |
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af89822
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basement.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1afe43d
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FARC, the Colombian rebels who've been funding their revolution against the state with kidnapping, extortion, and drug dealing.
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Janet Evanovich |
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08c5ed2
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What did you do?" "Blew up a fuel depot, stole twelve rockets and made off with them in a stolen van, got kidnapped by a maniac, and had dinner with a guy who farted fire." "That would be funny, but I'm worried it's all true." "It's been a long couple days." "Did he really fart fire?" Morelli asked."
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Janet Evanovich |
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85f227c
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It's good to have a Ranger," Lula said. "He's like a personal Spidey."
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Janet Evanovich |
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a40f569
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Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit."
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Janet Evanovich |
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7a656ff
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I was in no rush to get back to the funeral parlor, so I called Ranger again. "Hi," I said to his answering service. "It's me. Things are looking up. Your wife is tailing me, but she hasn't shot at me yet today, so that's a good thing, right? And you need to answer your damn phone calls."
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Janet Evanovich |
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13b915c
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Why did you pick Ladies' Choice?" "It was the obvious one. I'm a lady. And I had to make a choice." "You think you're a lady?" "Fuckin' A," Lula said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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b46b81c
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As if they'd never seen a seven-foot transvestite and a two-hundred-pound black woman with blond baloney curls all dressed up like Cher on a bad day. Do I know how to conduct an undercover operation,
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Janet Evanovich |