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17233a3
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It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away.
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Janet Evanovich |
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831b764
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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn't be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0cfc578
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Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn't he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster's cage was clean, I'd be happy to oblige.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5aa57b1
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What are you doing back at the bakery?" I asked [Diesel]. "Did you know Wulf was here?" "No. I knew food was here."
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Janet Evanovich |
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65af20f
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DeAngelo blew up my bus, so I filled his car with shit. Genius, right?" "DeAngelo didn't blow up the bus," Connie said. "I just got the report from the fire marshal. The coffeemaker shorted out and started the fire." Some of the color left Vinnie's face. "Say what?" "Oh man," Lula said. "DeAngelo is gonna be pissed. Least he won't know who did it." "I left a note," Vinnie said. Lula gave a hoot of laughter and fell off her chair."
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Janet Evanovich |
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3f1e0fb
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Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. "Sorry about the blood." "What was it this time?" No one reported gunfire." "I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer." "Whoa." Dillon said. "It wasn't my fault," I told him. "Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for clean up."
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Janet Evanovich |
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a6fec52
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Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
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Janet Evanovich |
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fca73cf
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He's going to jail. He can't see. He can't hear. He can't take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time around I'm coming back as a man. Priorities are clearly defined. Life is simple.
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life-philosophy
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Janet Evanovich |
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c37c51d
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This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe." Ranger"
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Janet Evanovich |
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60ea042
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At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.
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Janet Evanovich |
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e8a4005
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These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum"
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Janet Evanovich |
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3141ee3
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I wasn't sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5ac355f
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You know, sometimes you can be real scary. I don't what you were thinking back there when you took those shoes off, but all hair stood up on the back of my next." I had airport rage." Fuckin' A," Lula said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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29f81c2
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Stephanie Plum, psycho bait.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d09bbb6
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Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped - Ranger
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ranger
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Janet Evanovich |
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7141e92
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I'll be real discreet," Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be."
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Janet Evanovich |
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7cfa3bf
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Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position.
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Janet Evanovich |
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c921533
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Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds.
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Janet Evanovich |
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6b2b495
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I'm underrealized," Lula said. "I gotta lot of untapped potential. Yesterday my horoscope said I gotta expand my horizons." "You expand any more in that dress, and you'll get yourself arrested," Connie said. -- Twelve Sharp"
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Janet Evanovich |
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c79c279
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And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert.
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Janet Evanovich |
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48ec359
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Kate knocked on his door and sucked in some air when he opened the door fresh from a shower. His hair was wet and he had a towel wrapped low on his hips. "Jeez," Kate said, staring at the towel, her mind running amuck over what the towel was hiding, unable to drag her eyes to Nick's face. "Is that a good jeez or a bad jeez?" "It's just jeez. Don't you have a robe?" "The room didn't come with a robe." "Okay, so that's why you're wearing the ..
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towel
nick
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Janet Evanovich |
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43ee4dd
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Lula hauled herself up off the floor and put her hand to her neck. "Do I got holes? Am I bleeding? Do I look like I'm turning into a vampire?" "No, no, and no," I told her. "He doesn't have his teeth in. He was just gumming you." "That's disgustin'," Lula said. "I been gummed by a old vampire. I feel gross. My neck's all wet. What's on my neck?" I squinted over at Lula. "Looks like a hickey." "Are you shitting me? This worthless bag of bone..
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Janet Evanovich |
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f55e1c2
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Ranger removed my goggles "Would you like to come home with me?" I stepped away from him. "Thank you for the offer, but no. I'm done with men." Ranger smiled. "Forever?" "Until I figure some things out." "And if you don't figure them out?"
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Janet Evanovich |
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4bb9266
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Calories don't count if they're connected to a celbration. Everyone knows this.
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Janet Evanovich |
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06ceb50
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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.
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Janet Evanovich |
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99572f5
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You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?" "Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?" "The baptismal font?" "That's it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking." "Brilliant," I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. "No grass growin' here."
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Janet Evanovich |
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1e29fd1
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Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.
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Janet Evanovich |
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cb19c5e
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I was completely out of clean clothes. That meant I could be a slut and sleep naked , or I could be a slob and sleep in what I was wearing. Truth is, I'm not entirely comfortable sleeping naked. I do it from time to time, but I worry that God might be watching or that my mother might find out, and I'm pretty sure they both think nice girls should wear pyjamas to bed.
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stephanie-plum
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Janet Evanovich |
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39a9acd
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Stephanie Plum, off-road warrior. Now this was the way it should be, I thought. Taking action. Hauling ass in the woods behind Diesel. Well, okay - truthfully, I wanted to be in of Diesel. I wanted to ride point, lead the charge, be the big kahuna. Unfortunately, Diesel was the one who'd memorized the aerial map. And he was supposedly the one with super senses. 'Big whoop-de-do, super senses,' I said. 'I heard that,' Diesel yelled back ..
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Janet Evanovich |
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bc60441
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Holy bejeezus," Lula said, eyes bugged out, looking at the building. "This is scaring the crap out of me. This is like where Dracula would live if he didn't have any money and was a crack-head. I bet it's filled with rabid bats and killer snakes and hairy spiders as big as dinner plated."
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Janet Evanovich |
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9ad595f
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Yeah, but I want to take a look at your little peashooter. It's kinda cute." "It's a gun," Brenda said. Lula pulled her Glock out of her bag and aimed it at Brenda. "Bitch, this is a gun. It could put a hole in you big enough to drive a truck through."
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Janet Evanovich |
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d63fee8
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The dancers finished thier set, and one immediately strolled over to our table and straddled Ranger. Want a private party?" she asked. Not tonight," Ranger said. He handed her a twenty, and she left. What about the cat-feeding theory?" I asked him. Out the window."
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Janet Evanovich |
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ad0371d
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I plunked down on the couch beside him. "I don't have any accomplishments of any kind. I'm stupid and boring. I don't have any hobbies. I don't play sports. I don't write poetry. I don't travel to interesting places. I don't even have a good job." "That doesn't make you stupid and boring," Morelli said. "Well, I feel stupid and boring. And I wanted to feel interesting. And somehow, someone told my mother and grandmother that I played the..
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Janet Evanovich |
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8d7624b
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Kate prefers a loaded gun next to her bed." "Is that all?" Jake asked Kate. "Where's your hand grenade?" "I don't have a hand grenade." "What happened to the one I gave you for Christmas?" "I forgot about that," she said. "I guess it's around the apartment somewhere." "You lost a hand grenade in your apartment?" Nick said. "Next time I visit I'll be more careful."
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Janet Evanovich |
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69b1cca
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Cripes, I can't keep up on this political correct shit. I don't even know what to call myself. One minute I'm black. Then I'm African American. Then I'm a person of color. Who the hell makes these rules up, anyhow?
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Janet Evanovich |
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00e842b
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you see what I'm saying?" Mooner said. "Something else always comes along. You go to jail, you don't have to worry about anything. No rent to pay. No food bill to sweat. Free dental plan. And that's worth something, dude.You don't wnat to stick your nose up at free dental."
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Janet Evanovich |
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5e9a542
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I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched
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Janet Evanovich |
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0fddf65
|
be refreshing." Ranger smiled. "There are times when I seriously consider marrying you, but then I get yet another black mark on my path to enlightenment and forgiveness and I scratch marriage off my bucket list." "Really? You think about marrying me?" "Marrying you might be extreme, but once in a while I think about sharing my closet." "You have a really great closet."
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Janet Evanovich |
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aba040e
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You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
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Janet Evanovich |
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b322f2b
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Diesel is back," Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?" I woke uo with a migraine this morning," Ranger said."
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Janet Evanovich |
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f549316
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He had a lot of muscle and a skill level somewhere between Batman and Rambo.
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Janet Evanovich |
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9de1974
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I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean
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Janet Evanovich |
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0d5a677
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You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter." Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines"
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Janet Evanovich |
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03b2908
|
We want you to break into the Smithsonian." "Always a pleasure," Nick said. Kate raised an eyebrow at Nick. "You've done it before?" Nick shrugged. "Nobody goes to D.C. without visiting the Smithsonian." "Most people go when it's open." "I don't like crowds." --
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smithsonian
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Janet Evanovich |