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cc75457
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Think of this as an adventure, Diesel said. I'm from Jersey. I get my adventure on the Turnpike.
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Janet Evanovich |
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bd3e3fd
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You're scared now, I can smell it..." Benito Ramirez"
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Janet Evanovich |
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72cef76
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Wouldn't want to tarnish my image by looking like a good guy.
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Janet Evanovich |
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5b8cb99
|
I rooted through my pocketbook and did a fast paraphernalia inventory. I was carrying defense spray, which was a big no-no in a crowded mall. And I carried a stun gun, which on close examination turned out to need a new battery. My two pairs of cuffs were in working order, and I had an almost full can of hair spray. Okay, probably I wasn't the world's best-equipped bounty hunter. But then what did I really need to bring in an old guy with a..
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Janet Evanovich |
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a473b46
|
No Ranger in sight. That's because he's in the wind. You can't see the wind. Or maybe the wind went home to watch Tuesday night fights.
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Janet Evanovich |
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7b924f5
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It was M-m-moe and Shorty," I said. "Damn, I can't stop shaking." "Adrenaline burn-off," Ranger said. "It's normal." "Why aren't you sh-sh-shaking?" "I'm not normal."
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stephanie-plun
takedown-twenty
ranger
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Janet Evanovich |
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b9e5096
|
My big move was to get out of my underpants without snagging my foot and falling on my face.
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Janet Evanovich |
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2e1085f
|
As a backup, I intended to get a quart of defense spray. I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can.
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Janet Evanovich |
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57708a2
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He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.
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jeans
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Janet Evanovich |
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07a05de
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If Mickey Mouse could fly, he'd be Donald Duck.
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disney
specialist
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Janet Evanovich |
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9f16d5f
|
And Grandma spooned in some beans. "We need one of them psychics," Grandma said. "I saw on television where you can call them up, and they know everything. They find dead people all the time. I saw a couple of them on a talk show, and they were saying how they help the police with these serial murder cases. I was watching that show, and I was thinking that if I was a serial murderer I'd chop the bodies up in little pieces so those psychics ..
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Janet Evanovich |
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764fbf7
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anyone else would have just killed the alligator
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Janet Evanovich |
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8a37272
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion,
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Janet Evanovich |
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d515e08
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It was mesmerizing," Grandma said. "It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don't care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience."
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Janet Evanovich |
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d457946
|
My mother was about three feet from Pooka. She threw herself forward, grabbed hold of his shirt, and they both went down to the ground. They rolled around a little and by the time I reached them, my mother was on top, punching Pooka in the face. "She's beating the crap out of him," Lula said. "Way to go, Mrs. P."
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Janet Evanovich |
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c3010af
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I shuddered at the mention of Mrs. Steiger. "What's that about?" Ranger asked. "Mrs. Steiger is the Antichrist." "Damn," Ranger said. "I left my Antichrist gun at home." "Looks like you brought everything else." "Never know when you'll need some tear gas." "If we have to gas Mrs. Steiger, it"ll ruin my chances of being Miss Burg in the Mayflower parade."
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Janet Evanovich |
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462f37e
|
Sounds to me like you're talkin' about the wrong things. Why don't you talk about other things? Like you could make a list of things you won't fight over and then you only talk about those things.
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Janet Evanovich |
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65b3af1
|
Not that I've noticed." She looked down at my gun. "What a nice Glock. My sister carries a Glock, and she just loves it. I was thinking about trading in my .45, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My dead husband gave it to me for our first anniversary. Rest his soul."
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Janet Evanovich |
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609429d
|
She gestured to the bag. "What have you got in there?" "Nothing much. Some golfballs, a handful of tees, a Glock, extra ammo, two hand grenades, a tear gas canister, a knife, Tums, clean socks, flares, and some Ensure chocolate shakes." "You took all of that with you to play golf?"
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jack
|
Janet Evanovich |
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109f6b0
|
What's with the super soaker?" -Stephine "I had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy water! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner." -Lula "You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?" -Stephine "Yeah I sucked it out of the church. You know that birdbath thing they got right up front?" -Lula "THe baptismal font?..
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Janet Evanovich |
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e4ce30b
|
I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur"
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humor
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Janet Evanovich |
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8dd2c3b
|
Here's something else to worry about," he said. And he kissed me--his hand at the nape of my neck and his mouth on mine, soft at first, then serious and demanding. He drew me closer and kissed me again and desire washed over me, hot and liquid and scary. "Oh boy," I whispered. "Yeah," he said. "Think about it." "What I think ... is that it's a bad idea." "Of course it's a bad idea," Ranger said. "If it was a good idea I'd have been in y..
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Janet Evanovich |
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bba3ba8
|
I was standing with my back to the door, and I saw Connie's eyes go wide. "Be still my heart," Lula said, looking past me, through the window to the sidewalk. I figured they were looking at either Johnny Depp or Ranger. My money was on Ranger." --
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Janet Evanovich |
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efb6443
|
I don't care that you're short. I like lots of things that are short. Little dogs and daffodils. I hate you because you're mean as a snake. Would it kill you to be nice?
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Janet Evanovich |
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56ac470
|
I sensed a familiar presence behind me. A hand brushed my hair back, and Ranger leaned in to me and kissed me on the nape of my neck.
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Janet Evanovich |
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17be230
|
You and Nick are good together," Jake said. "Probably in more ways than you know." "Let's not go there." "You keep saying that to yourself, but maybe it's time for a rethink." "Since when are you interested in my love life?" "You don't have one. You're all about the job. With Bob, you can have both." "You don't know anything about Bob." "I know it's got to be Nick, because there isn't anybody else," Jake said. "Who could possibly compete?" ..
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love-life
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Janet Evanovich |
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79bdda6
|
Ranger shrugged. "Things turn up." He reached behind him and came up with a gun. My gun. "Found this in the lobby, too." He tucked the gun under the top edge of my towel, wedging it between my breasts, his knuckles brushing against me. My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment I thought my towel might catch fire. Ranger smiled again. And I did more eye narrowing. "I'll be in touch," Ranger said. And then he was gone."
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Janet Evanovich |
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8cd85cd
|
You have no spirit of culinary adventure. You need to be more like that snarky guy on the Travel Channel. He goes all over the world eating kangaroo a**holes and snail throw-up. He'd eat anything. He don't care how sick he gets. He's another one of my role models, except he needs ironing.
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Janet Evanovich |
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827279f
|
There was an air of satisfaction to the house at the end of the day. Maybe the day hadn't gone exactly right, but the day had been lived and the house had been there for its family.
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Janet Evanovich |
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242b4fb
|
I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality.
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Janet Evanovich |
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1ec0e81
|
Hey. I know dirty." Vinnie"
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Janet Evanovich |
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7cbc966
|
And here's the good part: He got a tongue could measure twenty-one inches. Bet Mrs. Giraffe likes that one.
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Janet Evanovich |
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ad5400a
|
Jamie felt as though her heart would literally take flight from her crest. Damn her and her mouth. "Nick, I was sort of exaggerating about how nasty I was going to act of the plane. Why can't we just leave Fleas with Max and get going?" "She's lying, Nick," Max said. "You don't do things her way and she turns into Satan's daughter."
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Janet Evanovich |
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23e6cfc
|
Throwing up is not a group activity
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Janet Evanovich |
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008ab0a
|
That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies.
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humorous
|
Janet Evanovich |
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8d624a2
|
changed back into my comfy T-shirt advertising beer, crawled into bed, and switched the light off. I woke up at sunrise with Ranger next to me. Naked. No surprise there. Ranger always slept naked.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0e22370
|
Thank God for small favors.
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Janet Evanovich |
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40370ec
|
Your monkey was looking under the stall doors in the ladies' room,' I told Diesel. 'That's my boy,' Diesel said.
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Janet Evanovich |
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b76c894
|
I can't squeeze to keep the breezers in.
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Janet Evanovich |
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d47bd43
|
God bless YouTube," Lula said. "You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube."
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Janet Evanovich |
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c352384
|
I woke up wrapped in Ranger's arms, our legs entwined, my face snuggled into his neck. He smelled nice, and he felt even better . . . warm and friendly. I enjoyed it for a moment before reality took hold.
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Janet Evanovich |
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0b01dc3
|
Okay so I fibbed a little about the kids. I didn't want her to feel bad. I mean we can't all be lucky enough to have a hamster.
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Janet Evanovich |
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592bbcb
|
Why do you gotta be going somewhere? Seems like it should be enough that we had nachos. And we got meaningful jobs. We catch bad guys. If it wasn't for us, there'd be vampires and all kinds of shit running around loose.
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nachos
|
Janet Evanovich |
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5f6220d
|
You can relax. I am not here to collect on the deal" I blinked. "You are not? Then why did you drop your gun belt?" "I am tired. I wanted to sit and the belt is uncomfortable." "Oh." He smiled. "Disappointed?" "No." Liar, liar, pants on fire."
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hard-eight
ranger
stephanie-plum
|
Janet Evanovich |