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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| 9f6affa | In one study, when subjects made a shopping list for what they'd eat in a week, more chose a healthy snack instead of an unhealthy snack; when asked what they'd choose now, more people chose the unhealthy over the healthy snack. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 61c23fb | A regular work schedule can help procrastinators because progress and engagement relieve their anxiety. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| d7a190e | William Butler Yeats. "Happiness," wrote Yeats, "is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 01df450 | Exercise for sanity not vanity. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| b88f8b8 | Whenever I start a new book, I think, "This is the most interesting subject of all time. It's sad, I'll never enjoy writing another book as much as I enjoy this one." Every time, I'm convinced. And then I change my mind when I start the next book." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 8b351ac | Just taking one drifting step can you set you in a course that's very hard to stop. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 8c00026 | Happy people make people happy, but I can't make someone be happy, and No one else can make me happy. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| a7738bd | It's a very unsettling and interesting exercise to think about the people in my life and to imagine myself in a minor, supporting role. How do I fit into their fates? Am I helping? | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 02a8f51 | If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 49b6054 | Studies show that if you reward people for doing an activity, they often stop doing it for fun; being paid turns it into "work." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| ea6f5aa | For Moderators, the first bite tastes the best, and then their pleasure gradually drops, and they might even stop eating before they're finished. For Abstainers, however, the desire for each bite is just as strong as for the first bite--or stronger, so they may want seconds, too. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 6356e13 | One thing that continually astonishes me is the degree to which we're influenced by sheer convenience. The amount of effort, time, or decision making required by an action has a huge influence on habit formation. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 4d052ba | The Strategy of Safeguards requires us to take a very realistic--perhaps even fatalistic--look at ourselves. But while acknowledging the likelihood of temptation and failure may seem like a defeatist approach, it helps us identify, avoid, and surmount our likely stumbling blocks. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 8423bde | Of the Four Tendencies, Obligers struggle most often against the temptations of loopholes. Rebels don't make excuses to justify doing what they want; Upholders and Questioners feel a greater pressure from their own inner expectations to resist loopholes. Obligers act when they're held externally accountable, so they look for loopholes to excuse them from that accountability. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 0c2934d | Tomorrow Loophole: As part of my investigation of First Steps, I'd identified "tomorrow logic." Now doesn't matter, because we're going to follow good habits tomorrow." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| a10d09e | False Choice Loophole: This is the loophole-seeking strategy I most often invoke. I pose two activities in opposition, as though I have to make an either/or decision, when in fact, the two aren't necessarily in conflict. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 4f7bf26 | Arranging to Fail Loophole: It's odd. Instead of fleeing temptation, we often plan to succumb. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 5da6229 | This Doesn't Count" Loophole: We tell ourselves that for some reason, this circumstance doesn't "count." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 7713a4a | Concern for Others Loophole: We tell ourselves that we're acting out of consideration for others and making generous, unselfish decisions. Or we decide we must do something in order to fit into a social situation. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| f211fcc | For this reason, it's often worthwhile to invest in systems of accountability. A chief benefit of fitness trainers, financial planners, life coaches, executive coaches, personal organizers, and nutritionists, in addition to their expertise, is the accountability they provide. For Obligers, most of all, this kind of external accountability is absolutely essential. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| e1c2559 | Fake Self-Actualization Loophole: Often, a loophole is disguised as an embrace of life or an acceptance of self, so that the failure to pursue a habit seems life-affirming--almost spiritual. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 321a7be | The fact is, while some habits are almost unbreakable, some habits remain fragile, even after years. We must guard against anything that might weaken a valuable habit. Every added link in the chain strengthens the habit--and any break in the chain marks a potential stopping point. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 3a1844a | Another reason to avoid stopping a good habit is that, sadly, starting again is often far harder than starting the first time. It's natural to think, "Oh, I did this before, it will be easy to do it again," but often it's much harder to start again. True, taking that first step the first time around can be hard, but there's also a special energy and optimism to launching a new habit. When I've tried to summon up the same energy for restarti.. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 49937bb | All I did was read a book, and that action unleashed an enormous force: the Strategy of the Lightning Bolt. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 10feb84 | A reader posted about a more modest change: "I dreaded my dentist appointment because I knew they'd ask how often I floss. It occurred to me that I could just floss every day, and then that question would never bother me. It puzzles me why the solution suddenly became so obvious and so easy in that moment." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| a8d216c | This was exactly what I had noticed about the "stopping" aspect of First Steps. When we try a new habit for the first time, it feels full of promise, even if it's arduous. But most of that excitement is gone the second time, and the habit's drawbacks are more apparent. Plus, there's the discouraging feeling of having lost ground, of going backwards. "Hang in there," I said." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 6d21710 | Eventually I learned to reject this advice. Somehow, I figured out that it was easier for me to resist certain temptations by never giving in to them. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 55fe467 | How can I deprive myself of something without feeling deprived? When it comes to habits, feeling deprived is a pernicious state. When we feel deprived, we feel entitled to compensate ourselves--often, in ways that undermine our good habits. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 214cbbd | I realized that one way to deprive myself without creating a feeling of deprivation is to deprive myself totally. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| baa8039 | It would be impossible for me to eat one square of chocolate a day. For the rest of the day, I'd be thinking about that bar of chocolate. In fact, I discovered that the question "Could you eat one square of chocolate every day?" is a good way to distinguish Abstainers from Moderators. All Moderators seem to keep a bar of chocolate stashed away to eat one square at a time. (Maybe this explains the mystery of why chocolate bars are divided in.. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| fa33eee | This freedom from decision making is crucial, because when I have to decide--which often involves resisting temptation or postponing gratification--I tax my self-control. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 4f83da9 | Habits speed time, because when every day is the same, experience shortens and blurs; by contrast, time slows down when habits are interrupted, when the brain must process new information. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 0d7a7ff | Generally, I've observed, we seek changes that fall into the "Essential Seven." People--including me--most want to foster the habits that will allow them to: 1. Eat and drink more healthfully (give up sugar, eat more vegetables, drink less alcohol) 2. Exercise regularly 3. Save, spend, and earn wisely (save regularly, pay down debt, donate to worthy causes, stick to a budget) 4. Rest, relax, and enjoy (stop watching TV in bed, turn off a ce.. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 343d74b | When we try to form a new habit, we set an expectation for ourselves. Therefore, it's crucial to understand how we respond to expectations. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 28833f7 | One-Coin" Loophole: Whether we choose to focus on the single coin or the growing heap will shape our behavior." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| ee45b7c | By catching ourselves in the act of invoking a loophole, we give ourselves an opportunity to reject it, and stick to the habits that we want to foster. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 6ab80ea | When we distract ourselves, we purposefully redirect our thoughts, and by doing so, we change our experience. Distraction can help us resist temptation, minimize stress, feel refreshed, and tolerate pain, and it can help us stick to our good habits. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| f73978c | Although people often assume that cravings intensify over time, research shows that with active distraction, urges--even strong urges--usually subside within about fifteen minutes. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 1edcaf7 | Drawing on intrinsic motivation makes us far more likely to stick to a behavior, and to find it satisfying. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 8db5ea7 | The second reason rewards pose a danger for habits is that they require a decision. A habit, by my definition, is something we do without decision making. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 820d604 | Maintaining a healthy weight requires us not to follow a temporary diet, but to change our eating habits forever. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| e68ae1a | By finding my reward within the habit itself, with a reward that takes me deeper into the habit. If I look outside a habit for a reward, I undermine the habit. If I look within the habit for the reward, I strengthen the habit. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| d597891 | book Happier, Tal Ben-Shahar | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| f5862a9 | By helping us to feel energetic and happy, healthy treats can play a key role in fostering good habits, but we must guard against the temptations of unhealthy treats. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, regret, loss of control, and other negative consequences kick in. | Gretchen Rubin |