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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| c0db144 | Two kinds of clarity support habit formation: clarity of values and clarity of action. The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself--not what other people value, or expect from me--the more likely I am to stick to my habits. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 66f5ef0 | Clarity is one reason that the Strategy of Scheduling is so helpful. It's important to have time to write; to have time with my family; to read. Instead of spending my day in a chaos of warring priorities, and feeling as though whatever I do I'm leaving important things undone, I can use the clarity of Scheduling to guarantee that I have time and energy to devote to each activity that matters. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| ed3ae54 | Besides clarity of values, another kind of clarity supports habit formation: clarity of action. The more specific I am about what action to take, the more likely I am to form a habit. A habit to "be more mindful," for instance, is too vague to be a habit, but "have a moment of gratitude every time I walk into my apartment building" or "take a photo of something interesting every day" are concrete actions that can become habits." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| dadf1b3 | To achieve greater clarity in my actions, I often invoke a "bright-line rule," a useful concept from law. A bright-line rule is a clearly defined rule or standard that eliminates any need for interpretation or decision making." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| b302aac | The fact is, changing a habit is much more challenging if that new habit means altering or losing an aspect of ourselves. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 389d078 | What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. You | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 1671469 | nothing was insurmountable if I did what I knew ought to be done, little by little. My | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 14dd491 | People's biggest worries include financial anxiety, health concerns, job insecurity, and having to do tiring and boring chores. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| c38de98 | Each day gave me a new opportunity to push the task off until tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'd feel like dealing with it. "Start now," I finally thought. "Just take the first step." I started with the smallest possible step," | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 0363e2b | else. Self-measurement brings self-awareness, and self-awareness strengthens our self-control. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| c4c75bf | A conversation with a Moderator friend revealed another telling distinction. "I got a sundae from my favorite ice-cream store," she told me, "and it was delicious. But after a while, I could hardly taste it. I let a friend finish it." "I've never left ice cream unfinished in my life," I said. For Moderators, the first bite tastes the best, and then their pleasure gradually drops, and they might even stop eating before they're finished. For .. | four-tendencies moderator | Gretchen Rubin | |
| fe8ffba | I should tailor my habits to the fundamental aspects of my nature that aren't going to change. It was no use saying "I'll write more every day if I team up with another writer, and we race to see who can finish writing a book faster," because I don't like competition." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 5ea36b3 | Some people love finishing, and some people love opening--both literally and figuratively. Finishers love the feeling of bringing a project to completion, and they're determined to use the last drop in the shampoo bottle; Openers thrill to the excitement of launching a new project, and find pleasure in opening a fresh tube of toothpaste. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 947b6f3 | He that stumbles, and does not quite fall, gains a step. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| c9576c3 | In fact, novelty lovers may do better with a series of short-term activities--thirty-day challenges, for instances--instead of trying to create an enduring, automatic habit. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| b921f4b | At the heart of this home is my family; where my family is, is home. If I lived by myself, home would be the place peopled with reminders of everyone I loved. My home is a place of unconditional belonging, which is part of its pleasure, part of its pain- as Robert Frost wrote, home is "something you somehow haven't to deserve." At home, I feel a greater sense of safety and acceptance, and also of responsibility and obligation." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 0afa547 | To do the intellectually demanding work of writing, I leave my home office and my three beloved computer monitors to work at the wonderful old library that's just a block from my apartment. The atmosphere of a library helps me to think. When I want to take a break, instead of heading to the kitchen for a snack, I wander among the many floors of books. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| d95bf72 | Home Every room should include something purple Keep pens, a notepad, and a pair of scissors in every room Write down anything I need to remember If something's important to me, I should reserve time for it in my schedule, make a place for it in my home, and build relationships around it | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| acd4a39 | A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labours of a spasmodic Hercules. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 847a446 | This was exactly what I had noticed about the "stopping" aspect of First Steps. When we try a new habit for the first time, it feels full of promise, even if it's arduous. But most of that excitement is gone the second time, and the habit's drawbacks are more apparent. Plus, there's the discouraging feeling of having lost ground, of going backwards." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 613b12f | By giving something up, I gain. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 4be37e9 | Studies show that if you reward people for doing an activity, they often stop doing it for fun; being paid turns it into "work." Parents, for example, are warned not to reward children for reading--they're teaching kids to read for a reward, not for pleasure." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 3975c9f | What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| de3bf1b | A habit requires no decision from me, because I've already decided. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 7c5db13 | Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill ("I" | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| f00d95d | another reason not to say critical things about other people: "spontaneous trait transference." Studies show that because of this psychological phenomenon, people unintentionally transfer to me the traits I ascribe to other people." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| ff6e347 | Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 2f6551e | from Lewis's brilliant essay "On Three Ways of Writing for Children": When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 9bac66b | Obligers may struggle to monitor unless someone is checking on them. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 98d0766 | I should monitor whatever is essential to me. In that way, I ensure that my life reflects my values. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 78e88b3 | I suggested that he write from 11:00 to 1:00 every weekday. During that time, he was to write or do nothing. No email; no calls; no research; no clearing off a desk; no hanging out with Jack, my adorable, three-year-old, train-obsessed nephew. Write, or stare out the window. "Remember," I added, "working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination. You want to use your writing time for writing only. Nothing else, including no othe.. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 7c84fc5 | Lewis's brilliant essay "On Three Ways of Writing for Children":" | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 32ebbe7 | For a happy life, it's important to cultivate an atmosphere of growth--the sense that we're learning new things, getting stronger, forging new relationships, making things better, helping other people. Habits have a tremendous role to play in creating an atmosphere of growth, because they help us make consistent, reliable progress. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 1b0ad98 | Progress, not perfection, is the goal. I'm a gold-star junkie, | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| e3d89bb | Procrastinators may resemble Sprinters, because they too tend to finish only when they're against a deadline, but the two types are quite different. Sprinters choose to work at the last minute because the pressure of a deadline clarifies their thoughts; Procrastinators hate last-minute pressure and wish they could force themselves to work before the deadline looms. Unlike Sprinters, Procrastinators often agonize about the work they're not d.. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| d2b6ae5 | One of the best ways to make myself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy myself. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 4045039 | Maurice Maeterlinck's play The Blue Bird. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 170c04a | is surprising how soon a desire will die of inanition if it be never fed. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 2ca54fa | Perfection may be an impossible goal, but habits help us to do better. Making headway toward a good habit, doing better than before, saves us from facing the end of another year with the mournful wish, once again, that we'd done things differently. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 8a7886a | We often learn most about ourselves by learning about other people, | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| fb0d8eb | It's a Secret of Adulthood: What we assume will be temporary often becomes permanent; what we assume is permanent often proves temporary. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 92cde3b | One study estimated that people spend about one-fourth of their waking time resisting some aspect of desire--most commonly, the urge to eat, to sleep, to grab some leisure, and to pursue some kind of sexual urge. | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| e0983e2 | I've learned to resist my inclination to meet an expectation unthinkingly, and to ask, "Why am I meeting this expectation, anyway?" | Gretchen Rubin | ||
| 79c9c44 | The reward for a good habit is the habit itself. | Gretchen Rubin |