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4ca7da1 Upholders respond readily to both outer expectations and inner expectations. Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe it's justified. Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations (my friend on the track team). Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. Gretchen Rubin
5b4ab28 Behind our unremarkable front door waits the little world of our own making, a place of safety, exploration, comfort, and love. Gretchen Rubin
c30e7f3 many people decide to improve their habits, they don't begin by looking where their keys are; they begin by looking in an easy spot. Gretchen Rubin
dde0844 I'm not getting any sleep," she said. "I've already given up caffeine. What else can I do?" "Lots of things," I said, prepared to rattle off the tips that I'd uncovered in my research. "Near your bedtime, don't do any work that requires alert thinking. Keep your bedroom slightly chilly. Do a few prebed stretches. Also--this is important--because light confuses the body's circadian clock, keep the lights low around bedtime, say, if you go to.. Gretchen Rubin
35d5dea According to current research, in the determination of a person's level of happiness, genetics accounts for about 50 percent; life circumstances, such as age, gender, ethnicity, marital status, income, health, occupation, and religious affiliation, account for about 10 to 20 percent; and the remainder is a product of how a person thinks and acts. In other words, people have an inborn disposition that's set within a certain range, but they c.. Gretchen Rubin
7edff79 The Habits Manifesto What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while. Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong. Focus on actions, not outcomes. By giving something up, we may gain. Things often get harder before they get easier. When we give more to ourselves, we can ask more from ourselves. We're not very different from other people, but those differences are very important. It's easier to change our surroundings tha.. Gretchen Rubin
ee01bf9 Plainness was not necessarily simplicity," Frank Lloyd Wright cautioned. "Elimination, therefore, may be just as meaningless as elaboration, perhaps more often is so. To know what to leave out and what to put in; just where and just how, ah, that is to have been educated in knowledge of simplicity." My" Gretchen Rubin
ac99175 Pierre Reverdy: "There is no love; there are only proofs of love." Gretchen Rubin
d296d35 The bus was hardly moving, but I could hardly keep pace with my own thoughts. "I've got to tackle this," I told myself. "As soon as I have some free time, I should start a happiness project." But I never had any free time. When life was taking its ordinary course, it was hard to remember what really mattered; if I wanted a happiness project, I'd have to make the time. I had a brief vision of myself living for a month on a picturesque, winds.. Gretchen Rubin
c52e436 Studies show that in a phenomenon called "emotional contagion," we unconsciously catch emotions from other people--whether good moods or bad ones. Taking the time to be silly means that we're infecting one another with good cheer, and people who enjoy silliness are one third more likely to be happy. As" Gretchen Rubin
b989fe7 the marriage expert John Gottman calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for their destructive role in relationships: stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, and contempt. Well," Gretchen Rubin
d32cb8f couldn't just jump into this happiness project. I had a lot to learn before I was ready for my year to begin. After my first few weeks of heavy reading, as I toyed with different ideas about how to set up my experiment, I called my younger sister, Elizabeth. After Gretchen Rubin
608703e It was time to expect more of myself. Yet as I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously--and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about.. Gretchen Rubin
9769372 a quotation from Lewis's brilliant essay "On Three Ways of Writing for Children": When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." Gretchen Rubin
cc7eedc Jamie is a funny mix. He has a sardonic side that can make him seem distant and almost harsh to people who don't know him well, but he's also very tender-hearted. (A Gretchen Rubin
3c2178e My home is a place of unconditional belonging, which is part of its pleasure, part of its pain--as Robert Frost wrote, home is "Something you somehow haven't to deserve." At home, I feel a greater sense of safety and acceptance, and also of responsibility and obligation. With friends, my hospitality is voluntary, but my family never needs an invitation. Although" Gretchen Rubin
5e77700 colorful tin trays from my grandmother? A friend confided Gretchen Rubin
5689157 It is by studying little things, that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible. Gretchen Rubin
ea0ad12 I sat on that crowded bus, I grasped two things: I wasn't as happy as I could be, and my life wasn't going to change unless I made it change. In that single moment, with that realization, I decided to dedicate a year to trying to be happier. Gretchen Rubin
39f9a6e My resolution to "Embrace good smells" has developed into a full-blown obsession. A few of my favorite perfumes: CB I Hate Perfume Demeter Fragrance Library Frederic Malle To See a Flower Fireplace Lys Mediterranee Hay Pure Soap En Passant Tea/Rose Baby Powder Gardenia de Nuit On the Beach 1966 Memory of Kindness (for the Fleur Mecanique) The" Gretchen Rubin
ff71363 It's a Secret of Adulthood: I give myself limits to give myself freedom. Gretchen Rubin
36d9b09 Of all the things that wisdom provides for living one's entire life in happiness, the greatest by far is the possession of friendship." You" Gretchen Rubin
6a9c824 studies show that the absence of feeling bad isn't enough to make you happy; you must strive to find sources of feeling good. One Gretchen Rubin
b283eb3 My home should calm me and energize me. It should be a comforting, quiet refuge and a place of excitement and possibility. It should call to my mind the past, the present, and the future. It should be a snuggery of privacy and reflection, but also a gathering place that strengthened my engagement with other people. By making me feel safe, it should embolden me to take risks. I wanted a feeling of home so strong that no matter where I went, .. Gretchen Rubin
0347ecb As Oscar Wilde wrote, with his characteristic brand of thought-provoking overstatement, "When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy." Now," Gretchen Rubin
4723bdf Although I'd initially underrated its value, the true significance of the fourth element--the atmosphere of growth--had become clearer to me over time. As William Butler Yeats wrote, "Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing." Research supports his observation: It's not goal attainment, but the process of striving after goals--that is, growth--that brings happiness.. Gretchen Rubin
02c5ca0 Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness. If we have habits that work for us, we're much more likely to be happy, healthy, productive, and creative. Gretchen Rubin
c24a831 I was always telling myself, "Keep it simple." But as Albert Einstein pointed out, "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler." Gretchen Rubin
38b6222 begin by tackling the habits that help us to: 1. sleep 2. move 3. eat and drink right 4. unclutter Foundation Gretchen Rubin
4f74824 A University of Exeter study showed that people who have control over their workspace design are happier at work, more motivated, healthier, and up to 32 percent more productive. Gretchen Rubin
79e617c the "Hawthorne effect," in which people being studied improve their performance, simply because of the extra attention they're getting. In" Gretchen Rubin
d15f7a1 by mindfully shaping our habits, we can harness the power of mindlessness as a sweeping force for serenity, energy, and growth. Gretchen Rubin
d8dc176 While physical activity is a key aspect of the Foundation and has many emotional and physical benefits, people often assume that its most important benefit is something that, ironically, it doesn't provide: exercise doesn't promote weight loss. It seems to help people maintain their weight--active people are less likely to gain or regain weight than inactive people--but it's not associated with weight loss. There are many compelling reasons.. Gretchen Rubin
469cd9f If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control. Gretchen Rubin
392ad9f We all know the secret of dieting--eat better, eat less, exercise more--it's the application that's challenging. I had to create a scheme to put happiness ideas into practice in my life. Gretchen Rubin
a7bc5ab Sprinters are pleased with their work product, because sprinting is how they do their best work. Procrastinators aren't pleased with their work product; they know they could've done a better job if they'd allowed themselves more time. Gretchen Rubin
0fdc2a0 one Secret of Adulthood is "Never start a sentence with the words 'No offense'"? "And" Gretchen Rubin
4957813 When it comes to fake food, I'm like Samuel Johnson, who remarked, "Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult." Gretchen Rubin
8de487c Zhivite v real'nom mire. Zakroite elektronnuiu pochtu, otkliuchite telefon i internet. Gretchen Rubin
9dd8283 leisure must be entered on the schedule as its own activity; it's not something I get only when I have nothing else to do. Because I always have something else to do. Having Gretchen Rubin
3a65d0b Upholder, I see its dark side, too Gretchen Rubin
1585ad4 Happiness," wrote Yeats, "is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing." Gretchen Rubin
6c13c85 How I Like to Spend My Time At what time of day do I feel energized? When do I drag? Do I like racing from one activity to another, or do I prefer unhurried transitions? What activities take up my time but aren't particularly useful or stimulating? Would I like to spend more time with friends, or by myself? Do I have several things on my calendar that I anticipate with pleasure? What can I do for hours without feeling bored? What daily or w.. Gretchen Rubin
bac64c0 What I Value What's most satisfying to me: saving time, or money, or effort? Does it bother me to act differently from other people, or do I get a charge out of it? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else, but not to me? If I had $500 that I had to spend on fun, how would I spend it? Do I like to listen to experts, or do I prefer to figure things out for myself? Does spending money on an activity make me feel .. Gretchen Rubin