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It's not bravery unless you are doing something which causes you to feel afraid. Unless there is some degree of fear or apprehension involved, bravery is not even needed.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Google Proves Nice Counts. On a quest to discover what it takes to build the "perfect team," Google launched the Project Aristotle initiative to find the answers. Over a period of several years, they surveyed hundreds of teams, conducted interviews, analyzed studies, and observed how team members interacted with one another. Google's findings revealed that "psychological safety" is the key ingredient for creating a high-functioning team. It nurtures a healthy environment that encourages freedom of expression, engaging communication, empathy for one another, caring, support, respect and, drum roll please . . . BEING NICE!"
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Susan C. Young |
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A high-pitched voice may sound less authoritative, more youthful, and less experienced, whereas, a lower pitched voice may be perceived as being more authoritative, confident, and credible. It is unfortunate that listeners will make assumptions based on these differences before even knowing the depth and value of your message. Play with your ranges and find a comfortably low pitch. Practice it to see if it makes a difference in conveying more authority and brilliance.
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Susan C. Young |
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When your speaking style is clear, confident, and concise, your listeners will perceive you as such.
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Susan C. Young |
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Developing your eloquence and enunciation will reduce the likelihood of misinterpretation and misunderstanding, making your delivery more powerful.
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Susan C. Young |
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By your practice of active listening, everyone involved benefits because you . . . * are more engaged and engaging; * demonstrate that you are interested in others and what they have to say; * make others feel important, respected, understood, and appreciated; * improve your memory and retention; * affirm to others that you are an authentic, caring, and compassionate person; make a great first and last impression
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Susan C. Young |
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If the skill of participatory listening came effortlessly and easy for everyone, there would not be so many misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, irritations, and frustrations.
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Susan C. Young |
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Active listening is key to all healthy and effective communication, however, it doesn't necessarily come easily.
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Susan C. Young |
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Through the years, I have heard that the average person speaks at about 150-160 words per minute, but can listen at a rate of about 1,000 words per minute. What is going on during all that extra mind time? * Our minds are racing ahead and preparing for the next thing we are going to say. * We are preoccupied with other thoughts, priorities, and distractions. * Our subconscious filters are thumbing through our database of memories, judgments, experiences, perspectives, and opinions to frame how we are going to interpret what we think someone is saying.
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Susan C. Young |
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While active listening is crucial for optimal communication, we are faced with a dilemma which can perplex even the sincerest and engaged of individuals.
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Susan C. Young |
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"You can have the perfect message, but it may fall on deaf ears when the listener is not prepared or open to listening. These listening "planes" were first introduced by the American composer Aaron Copland (1900-1990) as they pertain to music . . . 1. The Sensual Plane: You're aware of the music, but not engaged enough to have an opinion or judge it. 2. The Expressive Plane: You become more engaged by paying attention, finding meaning beyond the music, and noticing how it makes you feel. 3. The Musical Plane: You listen to the music with complete presence, noticing the musical elements of melody, harmony, pitch, tempo, rhythm, and form."
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Susan C. Young |
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When you become an actively engaged listener, you will develop the mindful awareness that active listening involves multiple layers and distinct levels.
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Susan C. Young |
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To make matters even more complicated, research has shown that we remember only 25-50 percent of what we hear. This inclination not only compromises our connection with another person, but we can fail to retain vital information. All this evidence demonstrates that it is imperative that we intentionally pay closer attention and strive to become an in-depth listener.
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Susan C. Young |
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UN-Impressives of the Poor Listener * Thinking about what you should have done, could have done, or need to do. * Allowing your emotional reactions to take over. * Interrupting the person talking. * Replying before you hear all the facts. * Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. * Being preoccupied with what you're going to say next. * Getting defensive or being over-eager. * One-upmanship--feeling the urge to compete and add something bigger, better, or more significant than what the speaker has to share. * Imposing an unsolicited opinion. * Ignoring and changing the subject altogether.
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Susan C. Young |
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Being Present Years ago, I attended a conference where the keynote speaker encouraged everyone to BE HERE NOW! It grabbed people's attention and reminded us that living, loving, listening, and laughing all occur in the present moment.
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Susan C. Young |
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Become keenly aware of these three layers to discover whether you're listening with interest and intent for excellent communication and understanding--or are you unintentionally sabotaging potentially phenomenal conversations. Knowledge of the listening planes will raise your awareness. And as you apply these, enjoy the surprising difference.
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Susan C. Young |
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When my son Nick was five years old, he was sitting at the kitchen bar while I prepared dinner. In typical busy mother fashion, I was multitasking--cooking, cleaning, running the laundry, answering the phone, and attempting to listen to what he had to say.
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Susan C. Young |
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Listening is one of the finest ways to demonstrate our love for another human being. How many marriages could be saved, friendships healed, careers made, and opportunities enjoyed if people would simply stop what they are doing and listen deeply to what another person has to say. If practiced by everyone, this principle could be a world-changer!
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Susan C. Young |
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The process of attentive listening makes the other person feel important, valued, and heard. For Nick, listening was, and still is, love. I've never forgotten that precious moment--and the lesson!
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Susan C. Young |
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Think about the people in your life with whom you have the most engaging dialogue--the ones who will listen to you and consider your opinions regardless of the topic. They'll stop whatever they are doing to give you their full attention. They become completely present and hear you.
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Susan C. Young |
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The Physical Language of Listening Active listening is a physical process which transcends simply hearing. Your body language speaks on your behalf as to whether you are fully present and engaged . . . * Make eye contact. * Nod your head; confirm. * Use your eyebrows and expressions of emotions to show that you're paying attention. * Lean forward. * Listen patiently to demonstrate respect and sensitivity. * Open your physical presence to encourage them to continue.
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Susan C. Young |
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Now let's look at the flip side. When a diligent and caring person receives your complaint, they have the power to turn a challenge into a triumph. Through active listening, they demonstrate that your satisfaction is their top priority. They not only seek to solve your problem, but they are dedicated to re-earning your trust, your respect, and keeping your business.
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Susan C. Young |
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You already know the difference between being a gracious person versus a rude one.
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Susan C. Young |
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Your manners are critical for both making a positive first impression and creating success in life, love, and business.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Confession. Years ago, I was invited to a cocktail party for an Asian-American networking group. As I introduced myself to a Japanese businessman, I reached out and firmly shook his hand. Much to my embarrassment now, I automatically took my other hand and wrapped our hands in a "hand hug." This is a common gesture of friendship in the South. As his wife approached, however, she appeared appalled and felt disrespected that I was touching her husband. Our cultural differences were marked. Despite this cultural mishap, I was able to redeem myself. We all moved past it and delighted in an interesting conversation. Physical touch is a touchy topic (pun intended), especially when various cultures are involved."
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Susan C. Young |
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Handshakes, Hugs & Other Touching. Learning how to touch appropriately can elevate your presentation, demonstrate respect, and convey confidence.
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Susan C. Young |
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Orientation & Proximity. Be aware of the orientation between yourself and others so that you can be sensitive and responsive to their comfort zones.
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Susan C. Young |
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Since we are all unique and individual, being cognizant of different personality styles will help you better recognize where others are coming from to minimize barriers, build trust, and catapult your newfound communication skills into meaningful connections. The savvy socializer knows this all.
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Susan C. Young |
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The Art of Communication shares insights to help you communicate with a higher awareness and focused intention and meet people on their level to increase clarity and understanding.
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Susan C. Young |
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When you begin conversations with confidence and listen attentively, you will become more flexible and adaptable in most any situation.
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Susan C. Young |
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Sometimes you must earn the right to be included. Otherwise, you may appear awkward or pushy.
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Susan C. Young |
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When a person is focused completely on self it is nearly impossible to be mindful of others at the same time. That is a contradiction for healthy communication, networking, and relationship building.
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Susan C. Young |
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"As the saying goes, "Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone." Smiling is a universal symbol of happiness that transcends language and communication challenges."
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Susan C. Young |
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No matter your age, a smile makes you look and feel better. People spend billions of dollars every year to get pumped, pulled, tucked, and tweaked in hopes of being more beautiful. But there is nothing like a genuine smile to transform your appearance and provide an instant facelift.
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Susan C. Young |
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"My friend Julie was cooking dinner in her kitchen one night. Her expression was blank as she stood alone working by herself. Her daughter walked in and gasped, "Mom! What's wrong?" She said "Nothing. I'm fine." In response, her daughter added, "Then tell your face! You scared me!" Emotional expressions can easily be misinterpreted when we are not aware of what people are seeing. Being deep in thought can look that way."
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Susan C. Young |
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As a professional speaker, my facial expressions are essential for effectively telling stories, engaging audiences, fostering involvement, and connecting on a personal level. One day I decided to get Botox in my forehead to erase a few wrinkles and signs of aging. Much to my surprise and disappointment, I could no longer raise my eyebrows. My face was stuck in a heavy-browed expression, which is the polar-opposite of my joyful spirit and enthusiastic nature. It makes a funny story, but it taught me that authenticity wins over vanity any day!
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Susan C. Young |
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"Poise: a graceful and elegant bearing in person; a composure of dignity and manner. Postures: the position of a person's body when standing, sitting, or walking; carriage, bearing, and stance.
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Since non-verbal signals have five times the impact of verbal signals, paying attention to the image you are projecting is crucial to your first impressions.
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Susan C. Young |
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Become aware of the physical distance and spatial orientation that you experience while in the company of others. Being empathetic and sensitive to a person's physical comfort zone can have a huge effect on the way in which you are received and perceived.
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Susan C. Young |
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To cultivate bravery and courage, take a deep breath & relax: When you feel fear, your body tenses up and your thoughts lead you down an anxiety-ridden path. Stop, breathe, relax.
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Susan C. Young |
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To cultivate bravery and courage, borrow courage. There is inspiration all around you in the form of people who are living your dreams, achieving similar goals, and already succeeding. Knowing that something can be done is often half the battle. Most successful people find great reward in helping others reach for goals.
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Susan C. Young |
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Seek to make others feel comfortable by demonstrating respect for their individual needs as well as their cultural norms. Your consideration and heightened awareness will guide you well--and help you make a great first impression.
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Susan C. Young |
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"According to the "universality studies" conducted by psychologists Paul Ekman, Carroll Izard, and Friesen (1969-1972), the words Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust. describe the natural expressions of emotion shared by the entire human race."
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