recovery-from-abuse

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
056f730	In the east," she says after a time, her gaze still downcast, "there is a tradition known a	healing inspirational recovery recovery-from-abuse	Mackenzi Lee
048f24e	Because we were treated neglectfully and abusively in our young years--when we most needed self-love to be mirrored--it was difficult to hold onto...We take up the challenge of learning to love ourselves, through our highs & our lows, when we are finding acceptance from others and when we are being closed out and rejected.	child-abuse child-abuse-survivors child-neglect emotional-abuse emotional-neglect healing healing-from-abuse healing-insights love-yourself neglect recovery-from-abuse self-acceptance self-love self-love-quotes	Maureen Brady
ead270a	"Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser."	ashamed child-sexual-abuse child-sexual-abuse-survivor coverup defective defective-humans dunce false-self feeling-bad healing healing-insights hidden-feelings hidden-pain hidden-self incest loser overachiever power-trip puritan recovery-from-abuse shame survivor toxic-shame true-self	Maureen Brady
ae23b74	When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense -- first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.	abuser abusers burdens-of-the-past child-rape child-sexual-abuse false-guilt freedom guilt healing healing-from-abuse healing-insights imperfect incest innocence innocence-lost offense peptrator perfectionism perfectly-imperfect perpetrators recovery recovery-from-abuse sexual-abuse shame survivors	Maureen Brady
9563645	The bridge out of shame is outrage. Suddenly the obvious becomes stunningly clear--we have been carrying shame for the crime of the offender...In a clear flash we may see ourselves standing in a fierce stance, grounded by our knowledge, ready to throw off any wrongdoer. Our outrage can be a fueling energy, capable of making us as steely as we need to be.	child-rape child-sexual-abuse crime healing healing-from-abuse healing-insights incest outrage rage rape recovery recovery-from-abuse shame	Maureen Brady
5ff9694	Though our childhood abuse left us feeling someone ought to make reparation to us, if we wait a lifetime for that, we may never receive what we need. We choose instead to face the idea that from now on, we are going to take responsibility for caring for ourselves.	ask-for-forgiveness healing healing-insights no-apologies recovery-from-abuse reparation survivors	Maureen Brady
491c703	We can ill afford to wait until we have worked through all our memories & feelings about incest before learning to rest & play. While it may seem to be a natural impulse to get to the bottom of things & purge ourselves fully, we need to regularly examine the full picture of our lives for balance along the way...Learning to rest & play is an essential part of our healing.	child-sexual-abuse-survivors healing healing-abuse healing-insights healing-the-emotional-self incest recovery-from-abuse survivors	Maureen Brady
d7bba5c	It is a childish notion that once established, our boundaries will never be transgressed again...We shall have to stand for ourselves repeatedly for the rest of our lives. As we practice doing this, we come to greater ease...Eventually it may float over entirely into the positive realm--becoming only another chance to demonstrated our worthiness.	boundaries boundaries-quotes boundary-violations healing healing-abuse healing-insights recovery-from-abuse survivors	Maureen Brady
81f9dd0	As we move away from the old role in which we were helplessly entrapped as a victim, we make friends with the people who affirm us. Their enthusiasm about us mirrors the positive experience we are having.	affirming empowerment friends friendships healing healing-from-abuse moving-on recovery recovery-from-abuse survivor survivors thriver victim victim-role	Maureen Brady

In the east," she says after a time, her gaze still downcast, "there is a tradition known a

healing inspirational recovery recovery-from-abuse

Mackenzi Lee

048f24e

Because we were treated neglectfully and abusively in our young years--when we most needed self-love to be mirrored--it was difficult to hold onto...We take up the challenge of learning to love ourselves, through our highs & our lows, when we are finding acceptance from others and when we are being closed out and rejected.

child-abuse child-abuse-survivors child-neglect emotional-abuse emotional-neglect healing healing-from-abuse healing-insights love-yourself neglect recovery-from-abuse self-acceptance self-love self-love-quotes

Maureen Brady

ead270a

"Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser."

ashamed child-sexual-abuse child-sexual-abuse-survivor coverup defective defective-humans dunce false-self feeling-bad healing healing-insights hidden-feelings hidden-pain hidden-self incest loser overachiever power-trip puritan recovery-from-abuse shame survivor toxic-shame true-self

Maureen Brady

ae23b74

When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense -- first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.

abuser abusers burdens-of-the-past child-rape child-sexual-abuse false-guilt freedom guilt healing healing-from-abuse healing-insights imperfect incest innocence innocence-lost offense peptrator perfectionism perfectly-imperfect perpetrators recovery recovery-from-abuse sexual-abuse shame survivors

Maureen Brady

9563645

The bridge out of shame is outrage. Suddenly the obvious becomes stunningly clear--we have been carrying shame for the crime of the offender...In a clear flash we may see ourselves standing in a fierce stance, grounded by our knowledge, ready to throw off any wrongdoer. Our outrage can be a fueling energy, capable of making us as steely as we need to be.

child-rape child-sexual-abuse crime healing healing-from-abuse healing-insights incest outrage rage rape recovery recovery-from-abuse shame

Maureen Brady

5ff9694

Though our childhood abuse left us feeling someone ought to make reparation to us, if we wait a lifetime for that, we may never receive what we need. We choose instead to face the idea that from now on, we are going to take responsibility for caring for ourselves.

ask-for-forgiveness healing healing-insights no-apologies recovery-from-abuse reparation survivors

Maureen Brady

491c703

We can ill afford to wait until we have worked through all our memories & feelings about incest before learning to rest & play. While it may seem to be a natural impulse to get to the bottom of things & purge ourselves fully, we need to regularly examine the full picture of our lives for balance along the way...Learning to rest & play is an essential part of our healing.

child-sexual-abuse-survivors healing healing-abuse healing-insights healing-the-emotional-self incest recovery-from-abuse survivors

Maureen Brady

d7bba5c

It is a childish notion that once established, our boundaries will never be transgressed again...We shall have to stand for ourselves repeatedly for the rest of our lives. As we practice doing this, we come to greater ease...Eventually it may float over entirely into the positive realm--becoming only another chance to demonstrated our worthiness.

boundaries boundaries-quotes boundary-violations healing healing-abuse healing-insights recovery-from-abuse survivors

Maureen Brady

81f9dd0

As we move away from the old role in which we were helplessly entrapped as a victim, we make friends with the people who affirm us. Their enthusiasm about us mirrors the positive experience we are having.

affirming empowerment friends friendships healing healing-from-abuse moving-on recovery recovery-from-abuse survivor survivors thriver victim victim-role

Maureen Brady