|
428f822
|
Every time you smell peaches, a ghost just got his rocks off.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
6f1ecbb
|
Chinatown is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a wonton, and fried.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
9d475ff
|
Trust your faith, Peter," I yelled. "If you doubt you won't be able to do it." Then Peter stepped with both feet onto the surface of the water, and for a split second he stood there. And we were all amazed. "Hey, I'm--" Then he sank like a stone. He came up sputtering. We were all doubled over giggling, and even Joshua had sunk up to his ankles, he was laughing so hard. "I can't believe you fell for that," said Joshua. He ran across the wat..
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
2534db4
|
For what is curiosity if not intellectual temptation? And what progress is there without curiosity?)
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
7269baa
|
Okay, the kingdom is like a monkey." Joshua was hoarse and his voice was breaking. "How?" "A Jewish monkey, right?" "Is it like a monkey eating a mustard seed?" I stood up and went to Joshua and put my arm around his shoulder. "Josh, take a break." I led him down the beach toward the village. He shook his head. "Those are the dumbest sons of bitches on earth." "They've become like little children, as you told them to." "Stupid little childr..
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
fb94c1e
|
We can't go home," Joshua said at last. "I don't know enough yet." "No," said Gaspar, "I suspect that you don't. But you know all that you will learn here. If you come to a river and find a boat at the edge, you will use that boat to cross and it will serve you well, but once across the river, do you put the boat on your shoulders and carry it with you on the rest of your journey?" "How big is the boat?" I asked. "What color is the boat?" a..
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
b0fb138
|
Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
9a954e0
|
So safe," Coyote said, "that you can lose it in a day? To be safe is to be afraid. Is that what you want: to be afraid?"
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
1637b8a
|
What you seek, you shall never find. For when the Gods made man, They kept immortality for themselves. Fill your belly. Day and night make merry, Let Days be full of joy. Love the child that holds your hand. Let your wife delight in your embrace. For these alone are the concerns of man. --The Epic of Gilgamesh
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
51e1728
|
Cry havoc, and let slip the trousers of most outrageous bonkilation!
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
8299fe1
|
The visual conjured in Val's mind - all that parched, wrinkled flesh in furious friction - culminated in flames, as if some giant cosmic Boy Scout had decided to rub two old people together to make a fire.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
9b101fb
|
And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
2dfc882
|
Die, thou badger-shagging spunk monkey," said I."
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
3673db6
|
I don't know,' Charlie said. 'Have you gotten a good look at them? I mean, they got the badonkadonk out back and some fine bajoopbadangs up front, know what I'm sayin', dog? Buss a rock wid a playa?' He offered his fist for Minty to buss him a rock, but alas, the mint one left him hangin'.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
d03fa3e
|
You do not cause death, you do not prevent death, you are a servant of Destiny, not its agent. Get over yourself.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
eac06d7
|
Religion in Chinatown, as in most places, is based less on a cogent theology and more on a collection of random fears, superstitions, prejudices, forgotten customs, vestigial animism, and social control. Mrs. Ling, while a professed Buddhist of the Pure Land tradition, also kept waving cat charms, lucky coins, and put great faith in the good fortune of the color red...and was very much in favor of any tradition, superstition, or ritual that..
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
b2220da
|
A little mucus is nothing against the power of the Lord.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
f353919
|
While Alpha Males are often gifted with superior physical attributes--size, strength, speed, good looks--selected by evolution over the eons by the strongest surviving and, essentially, getting all the girls, the Beta Male gene has survived not by meeting and overcoming adversity, but by anticipating and avoiding it.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
9994191
|
Your soul may be more evolved than you are right now. If a kid fails tenth grade, do you make him repeat grades K through nine?" "No, I guess not." "No, you just make him start over at the beginning of tenth grade. Well, it's the same with souls. They only ascend. A person gets a soul when they can carry it to the next level, when they are ready to learn the next lesson."
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
77f4da4
|
Look, I've always had an empty place in my life that I've alternatively tried to fill with food and penises, but now I have something.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
644e5b2
|
Wait. Henri, you said that Carmen didn't remember you, but she wasn't unkind to you, right? She didn't seem to be trying to hide from you? Perhaps she was an unwilling participant in the Colorman's scheme. Perhaps she loved you deeply and he made her forget. Perhaps Juliette, too, is being manipulated against her will." "Perhaps," said Lautrec absentmindedly. "but she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil."
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
1540df4
|
Parables were never my strong suit. If you wan to say something, say it. So, of course, Joshua and Buddhists were the perfect people to hang out with, straight talkers that they were.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
69fc8d4
|
True, but there was a plaque depicted in the painting, hung around the figure's neck, and on it was writing in Sumerian cuneiform. As you know, in addition to my other studies, I am an amateur necrolinguist - " "It means the likes to lick the dead," explained Henri. "It means he studies dead languages," corrected Lucien."
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
3e0124e
|
Quoi?" she had said, in perfect fucking French."
|
|
pocket
|
Christopher Moore |
|
1a78034
|
after Sammy struggles to unhook Stilton's bra] She rolled onto her face to give him a good shot at the hook in the back. "Free my people!" "I will. I am the Harriet Tubman of your breasts." --
|
|
noir
|
Christopher Moore |
|
60a2f7a
|
Don't ask me how he got here, or what he really is. I think we've all learned over the years that the sooner we accept the simple explanation for the unexplained, the better chance we have of surviving a crisis.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
3cf9de4
|
An air force general with so many campaign medals on his uniform that it looked like someone was losing a game of mah-jongg on his chest.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
bd32892
|
Love is where you find it.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
32e5bb9
|
My kingdom for a razor-blade cowcatcher and Cuisinart wheel covers to cut my path through this herd of ignorant peasant meat, she thought. Then: Whoa, I guess I really do need the meds.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
deec96f
|
everyone looks up like rats caught in a spotlight eating the brains of a friend dead in a trap.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
c56dea5
|
I'm very insecure, actually, but I have found that if you roll up screaming like a madwoman, hair on fire, guns blazing, no one is going to mention the zit on your forehead." Which"
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
1cbe182
|
I am not the blues, I am jazz. I want to be present in the moment, not wallow in it.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
ab0a60b
|
Methinks the lady doth protest too much," said Iago. "Methinks the lady protests just the right amount," said Emilia. "Methinks the lady is just getting fucking started protesting."
|
|
shakespeare
humor
|
Christopher Moore |
|
196dadf
|
careful not to ogle her wares, as dames often do not care for that, even when it is evident that they have spent no little time and effort preparing their wares for ogling.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
bba02f1
|
It's French," she said. "They designed it like a zoo--you know, keep 'em in, but give everyone a good look at 'em..."
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
88b867e
|
In Breeze's business one got used to running across the skeletons in people's closets. If Billy's skeleton wore women's underwear, it didn't really matter. Homosexuality on Billy Winston was like acne on a leper.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
4abbfcd
|
Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy. People, generally, suck. This
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
74598f9
|
Everyone at the bar turned toward The Breeze and waited, as if the next few words he spoke would reveal the true meaning of life, the winning numbers of the lottery, and the unlisted phone number of God.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
90e4dd8
|
Every guy can basically be boiled down to what he wants and what he's afraid of.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
d4fb2da
|
What a bawdy bitch is fate when the best bit of a bloke's day is a brace of bloody mermaid murders.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
87cbd06
|
If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them. The key--and this is very relevant in our case--is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
be262bf
|
Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy. People, generally, suck.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
1687f80
|
Sometimes, it turned out, art was what you had to say, not how you said it.
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |
|
1d6341e
|
His words were: hello, good-bye, yes, no, please, thank you, okay, sorry, and suck my dick. He
|
|
|
Christopher Moore |