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d040aa6
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It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death.
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sorrow
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Christopher Moore |
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14e2cc2
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Nothing fucks up a religion like an intervention from a real God.
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religion
truth
intervention
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Christopher Moore |
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021f3fc
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When he was reading he could fly away into the wildest skies of imagination, untethered to the reality that his soul was trapped in a wretched creature cobbled together from meat and bone, like us all.
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Christopher Moore |
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a2d1f20
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A wall is a defense of a country that values inaction. But a wall imprisons the people of a country as much as it protects them. That's why Balthasar had us go this way. He wanted me to see the error in the Tao. One can't be free without action.
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tao
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Christopher Moore |
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292a0c2
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On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire.
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reba
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Christopher Moore |
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3c7400f
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Perhaps there is a reason that there is no fool piece on the chessboard. What action, a fool? What strategy, a fool? What use, a fool? Ah, but a fool resides in a deck of cards, a joker, sometimes two. Of no worth, of course. No real purpose. The appearance of a trump, but none of the power: Simply an instrument of chance. Only a dealer may give value to the joker.
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Christopher Moore |
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5685129
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Acknowledgments] I recommend them all for further reading, but when you're finished, you may have to read several of my books and watch a lot of TV just to get stupid enough to function in the modern world again.
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fluke
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Christopher Moore |
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7a14189
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LOST 2 Irish Hellhounds. Very black, like bear. Huge, like bear. Answer to Alvin and Mohammed. Like to eat everything. Like bear! REWARD!
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Christopher Moore |
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909f4c9
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That's it, said Cavuto. You're too much of a nerd to be gay. I'm contacting the committee. They'll revoke your rainbow flag and you will not be permitted anywhere near the parade.
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Christopher Moore |
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2860cfe
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Alive," Kimi interrupted. "I get you out of typhoon alive and you just yell and say bad things. I quit. You get new navigator. Roberto say you mean, nasty, Chevy-driving, milk-drinking, American dog f*cker." I don't drink milk," Tuck said. Ha! Won that round."
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island-of-the-sequined-love-nun
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Christopher Moore |
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99ae9a7
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Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)" I thinks she's going to break my heart" On arrival of the girl" The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"
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humor
funny-and-random
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Christopher Moore |
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c0a3043
|
Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he always would be horny. So when Jody sat down across from him and the tsunami of hormones washed over him, he was quite shocked that he had ever forgotten.
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jody
tommy
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Christopher Moore |
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2b9b707
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You are my desire.
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Christopher Moore |
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4718157
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You can only eat so much white cake.
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Christopher Moore |
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7c1ded0
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People thought I was one of those people who beats their kid in department stores." "Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates."
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Christopher Moore |
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9ca80d6
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Crimson, made from the blood of Romanian virgins." "Really?" said Henri. his head was spinning and he had to lean on his cane to steady himself. "No, not really. But it is Romanian. Made from beetles handpicked from the roots of weeds near Bucharest. but they are ugly beetles. They might be virgins. I wouldn't fuck them. You want some?" --
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Christopher Moore |
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48b3821
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I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another.
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sex
venice
reproduction
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Christopher Moore |
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6918d93
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in the blink of an eye my beauty becomes but a feast for worms, and I, a forgotten sigh in a sea of nothingness.
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Christopher Moore |
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46df9de
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it wasn't so much like the hands of time had stood still here, more like they'd been thrown in the air in exasperation, the clock declaring "whatever! I'm outta here."
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Christopher Moore |
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89f7e91
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You cannot believe what you do not believe, Rumi siad. I am an Untouchable because my karma dictates it.
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belief
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Christopher Moore |
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4323b17
|
Foo shuddered. It had been less than an hour since the cops led Abby away and already he missed her like a severed limb. It was embarrassing. How could hormones and hydrostatic pressure make you feel like this? Love was very unscientific.
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Christopher Moore |
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ca35df2
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So, have you seen Flood?" she asked. "Cop?" She added "cop" with a high pop on the p, like it was a punctuation mark, not a profession"
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you-suck
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Christopher Moore |
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ac3a6a2
|
Jody noticed that the kid was focused on the breasts, which were defying gravity, and apparently death itself, by standing there at complete attention
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you-suck
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Christopher Moore |
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184786e
|
He slowed to a walk. As he approached her he was surprised at just how pretty she was. She looked a little like Maureen O'Hara in those old pirate movies. His writer's mind kicked in and he thought, This woman could break my heart. I could crash and burn on this woman. I could lose this woman, drink heavily, write profound poems, and die in the gutter of turberculosis over this woman. This was not an unusual reaction for Tommy. He had it of..
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Christopher Moore |
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857ce9b
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Do not bonk the Juliette
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Christopher Moore |
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c23f801
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Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit.
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Christopher Moore |
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116eeb6
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evil is our trade, but not so deep a darkness as politics.
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Christopher Moore |
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cd6ea4b
|
Conservation] Barring that, just yell at people randomly to stop killing whales. It could catch on. Really. ("Would you like fries with that?" "Shut up and stop killing whales!" "Thank you. Drive through, please.")"
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fluke
|
Christopher Moore |
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f982162
|
Green eggs, or not green eggs? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to eat them in a box, with a fox--
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Christopher Moore |
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2500c63
|
Fine, fuck it," Clay said, tossing the plate into the yard. The chicken parts bounced nicely, breading themselves with a light coating of sand, ants, and dried grass. "When did chicken become like plutonium anyway, for Christ's sake? You can't let it touch you or it's certain fucking death. And eggs and hamburgers kill you unless you cook them to the consistency of limestone! And if you turn on your fucking cell phone, the plane is going to..
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Christopher Moore |
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9310573
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Ninety-five percent of all the species that have ever existed are now extinct, so don't look so goddamn smug. --GERARD RYDER
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Christopher Moore |
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cab93b1
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Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn't sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.
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Christopher Moore |
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84251f3
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He didn't understand religion. It was like heroin or golf: He knew a lot of people did it, but he didn't understand why.
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Christopher Moore |
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a9126d6
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Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair.
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Christopher Moore |
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6cba72d
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It's easier to keep a secret if people think you're crazy
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Christopher Moore |
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72105be
|
If you're going to learn, you need to forget what you know.
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Christopher Moore |
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0cad3cc
|
I'm painting moments. Unrepeatable, singular moments of light.
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Christopher Moore |
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5aa7339
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A question asked in earnest deserves an earnest answer.
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Christopher Moore |
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49c9564
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He's not dumb, Biff, he just has a talent for belief.
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Christopher Moore |
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d2feb0b
|
Compassion is the same way,' Joshua said. 'That's what the yeti knew. He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without though or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.
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Christopher Moore |
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c1273d5
|
bet he was myrrh," said Josh. "Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me. My mother told me the myrrh went bad after a week too." Did I mention that Joshua was not a myrrh fan?"
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Christopher Moore |
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5d3814c
|
Ten salespeople, all young, all dressed in generic cotton casual, looked up from their conversations, spotted the money in her hand, and simultaneously stopped breathing-their brains shutting down bodily functions and rerouting the needed energy to calculate the projected commissions contained in Jody's cash. One by one they resumed breathing and marched toward her, a look of dazed hunger in their eyes: a pack of zombies from the perky, you..
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Christopher Moore |
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7821fea
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Minty Fresh made a motion with his hands of leveling, as if he were smoothing an imaginary tablecloth of calm over a counter constructed of contemporary freak-out.
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Christopher Moore |
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a7dceb9
|
Henceforth and from now on, I decree that whenever something bad happens to me, there shall be bunnies around. So it shall be written.
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Christopher Moore |